Disclaimer: I do not own the His Dark Materials Series.

A/N: Hey! Here is another chapter. I've had some inspiration lately and will hopefully be able to keep updating. Please let me know what you think! And thanks so much for reading.

Also, I wanted to say that I read back through the entire story and tried to fix any inconsistencies I found. This story has taken on a personality of its own and I tend to just go with what feels right, even if I realize later it contradicts something else I'd written. So, I tried to make it all match up. Hopefully it does!

Luxurious Lies

36.

Trust or Truth?

Safe. What did it really mean to be safe? To be out of harm's way, perhaps. To have someone looking out for you. To feel free from danger. To be innocent.

Mrs. Coulter was none of those things. She'd admit it. Walking steadily toward Trollesund after having dumped the sled and dogs a way back, she knew she was in an extremely precious and dangerous situation. She'd defied the Magisterium, what, three times now? More? And they weren't very forgiving people, despite the Gospel they preached. She would have to answer their questions, and she would have to pay the consequences. There was no charming her way out of this one.

"I told you we shouldn't have gotten so deeply involved with them."

In the beginning, the golden monkey hadn't wanted to fall into this circle. He too wanted power and glory, but not through them and the slick, complicated web they'd spun for themselves. Everyone in high positions understood the sway of the Church, and after the Edward scandal, Mrs. Coulter needed a quick way to get back into power and to get resources. Short of prostitution, joining the Church felt like the best, easiest way for her to use her body and her charm to get what she wanted and make meaningful contributions to society.

But she had her doubts.

"Maybe you were right." Nothing but trouble has followed Mrs. Coulter since becoming entangled with the Church. It satisfied her own intellectual curiosity and scholarship and tested the limits of her power and influence, but after finding Lyra, everything changed. She could use her looks and her grace whatever way she wanted, but she also had a child and a duty to that child – a duty she had long neglected. Until recently.

"We need to keep moving." The golden monkey nipped at her ear, and Mrs. Coulter felt surprised. He didn't often change subjects like that and refuse to engage with the emotions she was feeling. Because he doesn't feel the way I do? He doesn't share my love of Lyra?

She felt his fur bristle and a thick tension fill the cold, arctic air. That was enough of an answer for her.

Once they arrived at the edge of town, Mrs. Coulter put up her hood and helped her daemon slip inside her furs, shushing him as they ebbed into the flow of the crowd.

"It's awful about that Coulter woman, isn't it?" whispered a woman with an arm full of bags. "Heard the Magisterium sent her back out to do some business in the North. What are they doing out there?"

"Who knows?" The other woman sounded impatient. "If you ask me, that whole Church is fishy, and her. What's someone like her doing around these parts anyway? You'd think she'd stay put in London where everything's cushy and safe."

What? Someone from the Magisterium must have leaked something. The golden monkey bristled again, and Mrs. Coulter stood a little bit taller. She had to find out what was happening.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Okay, we're here." Lyra and Pan stopped, looking around at the docks. There were no ships, no crew, no waiting passengers – there was nothing. Why did Lord Asriel tell her to come here?

"Maybe the Gyptians are coming again?" Pan was a snowy owl now, and he circled around the area as he scanned ahead.

"I dunno… They took off back to Oxford a while ago."

Hopefully they were almost there by now. They'd rescued all the kids they could and were trying to locate their families back in Brytan. Of course Lyra had been separated from them again once Mrs. Coulter got involved, but Farder Coram would see it through and get it right, as would Lord Faa. There might have been more kids left behind in the North, but Lord Asriel said he'd be taking care of that.

Then why were we all on a boat back to Brytan?

That part troubled Lyra, too. Before all the insanity with Serafina happened, Lyra was stowed on a Gyptian boat and Lord Asriel was on deck working with the Gyptians. They were all heading home, it seemed, but Lyra had heard Lord Asriel talking about stopping the Magisterium operations. Which operations? Who was operating them? Where were they operating them? And how could anyone possibly stop them from all the way in Brytan?

"Lyra?"

It was that voice. Her voice. Sweet like the most beautiful melody and as soft as velvet. And there she was, standing in the shadows with her hood up and her shining daemon slinking around at her feet.

Lyra didn't know how she felt about her mother at the moment. They'd been on good terms when Lyra was kidnapped, but Serafina had said an awful lot of things. She'd spoken very badly about Mrs. Couter, calling her a child murderer, Magisterium pawn, creature of sin, and so much more. Lyra had her doubts about whose side Mrs. Coulter was actually on, and she couldn't help but feel a little frightened as her mother now stood a few feet away from her.

"Yes, Lyra. I'm here, and we're leaving now."

"What? Leaving to go where?"

"Back to Oxford."

Well this was most unexpected. Of all places to go, Lyra hadn't expected to go back to Oxford. London, maybe, but Oxford? Back to Jordan? Back with the Gyptians?

"There's a lot to explain, darling, but we need to be going now. The Magisterium is looking for me and we need to escape."

"Why are they looking for you?"

"Because I betrayed them."

Her mother stared unflinchingly at Lyra, and she didn't need to check the alethiometer to know that she was telling the truth. Her face was pale and there was a nervous glimmer in her eyes. Her daemon kept looking out at the open square, and Lyra could sense that something serious was happening. She knew Mrs. Coulter well enough to understand this.

"I promise that I'll tell you everything once we're safe. You can confirm later with the alethiometer."

"But what about Lord Asriel?"

"Isn't he with you?" Confusion spread across Mrs. Coulter's features. "I saw you with the witch, and I thought –" Just then, something else entered her eyes. Lyra didn't know what it was. Comprehension? Fear? Jealousy? Something else?

"She took him," Lyra tried to explain, panicking with her mother's blatant panic. "She tried to take me but he had her take him instead. I don't know where they are, but the alethiometer can tell us!"

"Alright." Mrs. Coulter slipped away from the shadows to take Lyra's arm and hide her from sight, the golden monkey still on the lookout. "Go ahead."

It took a while, but Lyra finally got it. The alethiometer was being particular tricky with this question, repeating itself and falling back into complicated patterns. Both Pan and the monkey were on patrol, but Mrs. Coulter sat beside Lyra, her eyes latched to the golden machine with an almost alarming level of focus.

"She's taking him back to Bolvangar."

"Bolvangar?"

"Yeah, it showed me some symbols that go back to 'the killer of children' or something. It says she's takin' him back there to, to… help him with something."

"Help him with what?" Mrs. Coulter was leaning forward, her eyes flickering across the still-rapidly moving hands. "Can't it be more specific than that?"

"Not always." Feeling uncomfortable, Lyra eased the machine shut and then slipped it back into her bag. She sensed a strong start from the golden money and couldn't quite read the expression now on Mrs. Coulter's face. It made her uncomfortable. "So, are we gonna go and save Lord Asriel?"

"Hmm."

Mrs. Coulter stood up and looked around, her blue eyes taking in the rays of sunshine peaking in through the heavy gray clouds. Pan paused on his descent from a nearby crate, and both he and Lyra simply stared up at Mrs. Coulter. It was up to her. Her father's life was in her hands. Lyra was too tired and too weak to resist anymore. She'd been through so much and already completed her initial mission, so until she could reconnect with the Gyptians and hear about the Oblation Board, Mrs. Coulter was in charge.

"I need to think about this," Mrs. Coulter finally said, "but we don't have much time. They're going to be looking for me. Do you trust me?"

Her gaze lowered to lock with Lyra's, blue trained on matching blue. Lyra stared back and tilted her head. Did she trust Mrs. Coulter? From when she had first come into Lyra's life all those months ago at Jordan, everything had been built on a lie. She was going to take Lyra to the North, Lyra was going to be her assistant, Lord Asriel was okay with it, it was perfectly safe for kids to get their daemons cut away…

But here she was now. Looking at her up and down once more, Lyra noticed how thin she was. Mrs. Coulter hadn't been fat before, but she had been curvy and healthy. Now she just looked small and her furs were baggy in a way Mrs. Coulter said is not flattering for a woman. Her blonde hair had lost its luster and her skin didn't sparkle in the way it once had. She looked like a duller version of herself.

Namely, Mrs. Coulter had suffered these past few months, too. She'd taken to wilderness just as Lyra had, and she'd given up the cozy lifestyle she'd been adorned with for probably all of her life. And for what? To save Lyra, and to be with Lyra. Even before she hadn't gone this far. She'd been content to just keep Lyra in London as her pretty little pet. But now, after all they've been through…

"I guess I do. Yeah."

Emotion flashed through Mrs. Coulter's eyes a moment before she smiled and cleared her expression. "Very good. Come now. I think we both need to eat something and then get away from Trollesund for a while."