Next chapter. I figured it would be too cruel to leave it off at the cliffhanger from last week. Enjoy.
Changes
The bubbling sound of the stew pervaded the air as Tifa was standing in the kitchen, her hand stirring their family's dinner almost automatically as she stared at the bubbles forming inside the thick broth, popping in and out of existence from second to second, a cacophony of birth and death, rebirth and death again. Around and around it went, not unlike the planet they were living on.
"-fa?"
Was there someone?
"Tifa!"
She jumped a little as she was shaken out of her little reverie, shaking her head and turning to look at Denzel, who was standing in the doorway. "Yes?"
"I'm done with my homework and wanted to ask if I could go outside?" He was already done? Didn't he just start doing them? Did she lose track of time?
"Is everything alright?" he asked.
"Hmm?" She blinked. "Oh yes, yes!"
She ran a hand over her face, letting out a deep breath, and putting on a smile. "I'm just tired, is all I guess. Probably not gotten enough sleep. Cloud and I will check your homework once he's back, so go have some fun. And don't be late!"
"Gotcha!" Denzel grinned at her and headed towards the door. As soon as he was out of sight, Tifa released a sigh, simply staring ahead. The sound of the door closing signaled that Denzel had left, and she released another, much more audible sigh before turning the stove off. She knew she wouldn't be able to focus on cooking anytime soon. She ran a hand through her hair, then walked over to the front door and locked it.
She needed to be alone. Undisturbed.
Making her way upstairs, she entered their bedroom and walked over to the dresser drawers, rummaging through her clothes until she found what she had hidden inside. She had first thought about hiding them inside her underwear drawer, but she could never be too sure with Cloud.
Nodding to herself, she headed into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet, opening the package she was holding. This was the part she hated. Once she managed to 'let go', she held the little device down between her legs until she was finished. She closed her eyes while leaning backwards, counting the seconds as they slowly became minutes, until five minutes passed and she opened them again to look down onto the two lines inside the little display.
Positive.
Tifa released a shaky breath, gripping the small device tightly. Maybe it was shot?
Shaking her head, she wiped herself clean, flushed the toilet and washed her hands, before leaving the bathroom and heading back into the bedroom, opening the cabinet and taking out the other two from out of their hiding place. She looked at them, each showing the same results as the one she had used now.
No, time to face the music, she told herself while sitting down on the bed.
She was pregnant.
Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.
Just when things had calmed down for their family. She...
She wanted to cry. Desperately so.
But the tears didn't come.
Tifa sat there for what felt like an eternity, the pregnancy test resting next to her, their twin lines glaring at her in silent judgement.
All of a sudden, she jumped to her feet, took all three tests and headed out of the door and down the stairs, grabbing a jacket on the way.
After leaving 7th Heaven she headed to the only person she could talk to right now: Dr. Hiragi.
She all but burst inside the clinic, the bell above the door ringing loudly from the force of her entrance.
"Doctor? It's me!" she called out.
"Tifa?" the doctor called back, surprise clear in his voice as his steps came closer. "I didn't really expect you to come by to—"
He stopped what he was saying as he entered the room and looked at her, the cheerful expression on his face becoming serious in an instant.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I...can—" she shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts. "I need to talk with you."
A moment passed before he nodded. "Let's talk in my office."
Tifa followed him, feeling almost like she travelled seven years into the past and became that frightened country girl that was thrown into this strange, new city once again.
Or perhaps, part of her never truly stopped being that girl.
Inside the office, she sat down in one of the offered chairs.
"Tea?"
"Uh, no. Thanks. I'm fine," she said, making the doctor cock his eyebrow. She never said no to a cup of tea with him. But was she allowed to drink tea now?
Without saying a word, Dr. Hiragi sat down opposite of her, having chosen to forgo the tea as well. They simply sat there, neither saying anything as they looked at one another, and Tifa saw nothing but patience and understanding in his gaze. It made her avert her eyes, instead choosing to look down at her fingers that were busying themselves with the skirt she was wearing today.
Eventually, Tifa reached into her jacket's pocket and all but threw the three pregnancy test onto his desk. Dr. Hiragi blinked in confusion, before taking one of them in his hand to look at the display. His eyes widened a little and he inspected the other two as well.
"I—Tifa." He shook his head, his face brightened considerably. "I was half expecting you to tell me bad news. Congratulations!"
"How?" was her response.
"Come again?"
"How." She pointed at the pregnancy test he was holding. "Could this happen?"
A frown formed on the older man's face. "I think you're old enough to know how this works."
"I know how it works!" she said with a glare. "But—"
She bit her lip, her nails digging into her skirt now. "—it shouldn't be possible."
"Why would it not be possible?"
"Cloud. He got SOLDIER treatment."
"There is no scientific proof that it has any impact on their ability to have children," Dr. Hiragi replied.
"He suffered from severe Mako poisoning." she countered instantly.
"More of an affliction of the mind."
"Geostigma!"
"This doesn—"
"Dammit, Eisuke!" she shouted and jumped out of her seat, slamming her hands on top of his desk. Her eyes were now fixed on his, glaring daggers at the man that had treated her like a daughter.
Then the tears finally came.
With a loud sob, Tifa let herself sink back into the chair, hugging herself tightly as she cried. Dr. Hiragi was at her side almost immediately, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
He silently held her, offering her comfort in the same way he had done so many years ago now.
"I'm afraid," she finally admitted to what had been eating away at her the last few days amidst her sobs. "I'm not prepared for this. Cloud isn't prepared for this!"
"Shh, it's alright," Dr. Hiragi said, pulling her a little closer. Instead of responding, Tifa buried her face into his shoulder, letting herself cry as he whispered comforting words to her. It felt good to just cry it all out, and she felt some of the weight of this whole situation lift from her shoulders little by little. After she had finally calmed down, she gently removed herself from his embrace.
"I'm sorry," she sniffed.
"Don't be," he replied with a kind smile and went to fetch her a handkerchief.
"Thanks." Tifa took it and dabbed the corners of her eyes with it. "I always thought that Cloud and I may never have children. Made my peace with it, too. This, it's..."
"Overwhelming?" he offered.
"Yeah." She nodded, then bit her lip. "And I don't know if either of us is up to it."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know if I'm ready to bring a life into this world. What if I mess up?"
"You know you don't have to. There are alternatives," he said evenly. He didn't say it outright, but she knew what he meant. An abortion. In her worried mind she hadn't even considered that it would be an option. But now that she was confronted with it she felt... attacked. Before she even knew she was doing it, her hand moved to rest on top of her abdomen and she shook her head firmly. That's when she realized.
She wanted this.
With a knowing smile, Dr. Hiragi placed his hand firmly on top her shoulder. "You've cared for Marlene since she was little, and care for Denzel like he's your own. If anyone is ready for this, it's you. Take it from this old man."
She couldn't help but smile a little at his words.
Could she really do it? Could Cloud? She didn't know, but she couldn't deny that deep inside there was still that little girl from Nibelheim that wished to be a mother.
"What...what now?" she asked after another moment of silence between them.
"Now then," Dr. Hiragi said, and he returned to his seat behind the desk, shifting back into his professional doctor role. He pulled out a pencil and a little notebook. "Tell me, how late are you now?"
"I, um, my period should've started five days ago. I'm usually on time," she told him, fidgeting a bit in her seat. This was a bit embarrassing to talk about. "I thought to myself maybe it was just holiday stress at first. Oh! I also had some real bad cramping and light bleeding on New Year's. Thought it might be the start of my period, but that was it."
"Implantation bleeding. Hmm." Dr. Hiragi nodded and wrote something down, taking a quick glance over to the calendar on the wall. "So, Yuletide?"
She felt heat rush into her face. "Erm, yes. We, uh, had relations that night."
Dr. Hiragi chuckled despite himself. "Relax."
Easier said than done, she thought while the doctor was counting something in his mind.
"That means you're almost five weeks in," he said after a moment. "I'm guessing you've been fatigued recently?"
"Yes. I also have some problems staying focused on something."
"That's normal. Your body is going through a lot of changes right now." Dr. Hiragi put the pencil away and rose to his feet. "Alright. Time for the next step."
"'The next step'?" Tifa asked.
"We're getting you an appointment with an OB/GYN. My clinic isn't equipped for this and these aren't the slums. You now have the luxury of getting the medical care you need right now," he replied. Back when she had stayed with him in the slums of Sector 3, Dr. Hiragi had taken care of various pregnant women. But it was mostly only surface level, since he couldn't do much more than making sure the mother was healthy and, when the time came, help deliver it.
She knew that he was right. It was better for her to go to a proper doctor that specializes in the field, but it still made her feel uneasy. He seemed to pick up on it, as he gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. I'm still here to help you every step of the way."
His words, mirroring those from so long ago, lifted some of the worry from Tifa's mind.
Tifa was sitting at the bar, nursing a cup of hot tea in her grip, thankful that she was still allowed to have some despite her condition. She really needed something to calm her nerves.
It was some time later, after Dr. Hiragi and her managed to make an appointment with a local OB/GYN that he met recently while getting acquainted with some of his colleagues over at Dr. Drake's clinic, that Tifa's phone had rung. It was Cloud, telling her that he would be home earlier today.
Before she left, Dr. Hiragi had looked at her and said: "It's best you tell him once he comes home. Oh, and tell him to sit down. Another bit of advice from an old man."
The last sentence he delivered with a little grin that made her giggle.
Telling Cloud.
It excited and scared her at the same time, because she didn't know how he would react.
Would he be happy?
Would he be against it?
She craned her neck to look behind the bar at the stove. When she returned she somehow managed to get dinner restarted and it was now quietly simmering away at a low temperature to keep it heated for when the others arrived.
Something that seemed to be right now, as Tifa heard the familiar sound of Fenrir's engine drive up to 7th Heaven.
Showtime, Tifa thought as she heard the garage door open and close, before she heard two pair of feet step inside the bar.
"Look who I found," Cloud said, holding up Marlene's hand as the girl grinned brightly.
"Hey, you two," she greeted them and rose to her feet, walking over to them.
He blinked and looked around. "We're closed?"
"Yeah. Thought it would be...better to have it just be us today." She gave Marlene a little smile. "Did you have fun?"
"Yup. I'll tell you over dinner!"
"Now you're getting me all excited." Tifa chuckled, then knelt down and gently stroked the girls head. "Marlene, could you go upstairs for a bit? Cloud and I have something to talk about."
Marlene tilted her head questioningly, but didn't object. "Ok?"
"Thanks," Tifa said, patting her on the head one last time, before sending her on her way. Turning to Cloud, she saw a confused look on his face, but underneath she could see a hint of worry. She walked past him towards one of the tables, taking the jacket that she had placed on the bar with her, and sat down in one of the chairs. "Sit with me."
Cloud did as told without so much as a word, sitting down next to her. They sat there for a moment, not a single word being uttered. Her fingers tapped nervously on the table, her heart hammering in her chest, as his eyes focused on her. She opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, but the words just remained stuck in her throat, unwilling to leave.
Biting her lip, she shoved a hand inside her jacket and pulled out one of the positive tests. For but a second, her hand didn't want to move, but she managed to muster up enough courage to place it in front of Cloud.
He furrowed his brows in confusion, then took the little device in his hands, looking at the tiny display on it. At first he didn't react, until it finally dawned on him what he was holding, his eyes widening. "Is that—"
"Yes," Tifa choked out, her eyes starting to burn as tears were welling up inside them. "It's...positive."
If possible, his eyes widened even more and his breath hitched. His hands were now gripping the pregnancy test tightly. "...H-how? I th-thought we couldn't..."
"Me, too." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "But we have..."
She watched him get up and pace around the bar like a frightened animal, his eyes darting back and forth and his hand burying itself deep into his spiky hair. In the back of her mind, a tiny voice screamed out that she'd done it, that he would run away again, and she hated herself for that line of thought. Tifa blinked a few times, trying and failing to stop the tears threatening to spill out of the corner of her eyes.
"C-cloud..." she whispered.
Upon hearing her call him, Cloud stiffened, turning around and looking at her like he had just woken up from a dream. All of a sudden he made a grab for her, taking her arm and pulling her into a tight embrace. "Tifa!"
Tifa let out a surprised yelp as she was all but lifted out of the chair, but her arms soon found their way around his neck to return the hug. Tears flowed freely down the sides of her face while his hand gently brushed over her hair.
"This is...unbelievable," Cloud breathed out. "We're—"
"—having a baby," she finished for him.
She felt the laughter rumble up from his chest and the corners of her lips rose into a smile. They remained there, holding onto one another, and any doubts that Tifa might have had evaporated when Cloud pulled her face into a deep kiss that she eagerly returned. His thumb caressed her cheek, brushing away her tears.
Their tender lip-lock was short-lived though, as a gasp from behind them made the two separate and turn to see Marlene peeking in from the doorway.
Apparently realizing that hiding was of no use anymore, Marlene asked: "Is it true? You're going to have a baby?"
"Mhm." Tifa nodded and presented the little girl with a smile.
With an adorable squeal, the girl ran out from behind the corner and towards her, hugging her tight around her waist. Tifa laughed, trying to return the gesture as best as she could, but the girl made it rather difficult by excitedly jumping up and down on the spot.
"Can I feel!? Please?" Marlene asked after Tifa managed to calm her down just a little bit.
"There isn't anything to feel yet," she told her. "The baby is still very, very small, you know?"
"Aww." Marlene pouted for a moment, but soon smiled again, taking a step away from her. Tifa moved her hand to ruffle the girl's hair, when she felt her knees grow weak. Cloud must have noticed, since his arm was instantly wrapping itself around her shoulder.
"Careful," Cloud said, slowly sitting her back down on the chair.
"Thanks," she said to him as he sat down next to her. "I'm alright."
"Are you sure?"
"I think everything just caught up with me here. It's been a day." She looked deep into Cloud's eyes, mako-tinted irises filled with a mix of love and concern that made her heart swell with happiness. Tears welled up inside her eyes once more and she desperately tried to blink them away, but to no avail. Cloud pulled his chair closer to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. "Sorry. I'm just overwhelmed right now."
She was still a bit afraid of what might come, but she was also so happy right now!
The front door opened just as she was raising her hand to brush away her tears.
"Denzel!" She heard Marlene cry out, followed by the girl's footsteps. "You won't believe what's happening!"
Tifa pulled back from Cloud as she wiped the last of her tears away, turning her head to look at their foster son, a slightly fearful look on his face as he looked at her, not even averting his eyes when Marlene took his hands and jumped up and down again. "Cloud and Tifa are going to have a baby!"
He blinked as Marlene dragged him towards them. "A baby?"
"Yes!"
"Is that...true?" he asked Cloud, clearly stunned at the prospect.
Cloud gave her a look, before giving the boy a little smile and nodding. "Yeah."
"Come here," Tifa said to him and opened her arms, engulfing him in a hug when he stepped up to her. "It's still a while off, but you're going to be a big brother."
"A big brother? Me?"
"Yeah, you!" Tifa giggled and let go of him. "Think you're up to it?"
"I..." The boy looked at both of them for a moment, mouth opening and closing in an effort to find the right words. Eventually, his face grew serious, his look resembling a soldier that had just gotten an important mission, and nodded. Without uttering another word, he dove back for another hug. Tifa laughed and held him to her, resting her head on top of the boy's. Next to her, Cloud smiled and wrapped his arm back around her shoulders.
Releasing a content sigh, she closed her eyes. This moment, right here, right now, surrounded by the ones she loved, was perfect.
"Daddy, daddy!" she heard Marlene's voice from behind the bar. "Tifa's having a baby!"
Even from where she was sitting, Tifa didn't have a hard time hearing Barret's reaction on the other end of the line.
Hoo boy, she thought.
And there you have it. I wonder how many of you guessed it would be that?
Anyway. Be seeing you!
R&R.