The Biggest Dreamer
最大の夢想家
(Saidai no musō-ka)
Chapter 2:- He Died
Theme song: The Biggest Dreamer - Koji Wada
Ending song: Target ~Akai Shogeki~ - Koji Wada
Ramuh: Did you know that people still fly around on Earth on these massive balloons called "Blimps"? -The dark haired male said as he was reading a book as he was sitting on the couch in the home of the Yuukis-
Kei: And every year, over 1 person dies from those things.
Ramuh: What?!
Kei: I'm just kidding. -He said as he was also reading a book as he was in the living room with the Yautja-
Ramuh: Hey, you know what we should do?
Kei: What?
Ramuh: We should make an account.
Kei: A bank account? Dude you got like twelve of them after the Androids invaded us.
Ramuh: We ain't no "Guardians of the Galaxy" but we are still one of Earth's heroes after all.
Kei: The council says that we are but it's not like the people here know that we actually helped save their planet.
Ramuh: Exactly! Which is why we should create an online account so that people know who we are!
Kei: What? Like Facebook or Twitter?
Ramuh: Yeah! That way we can find out what's everyone doing and stuff, I'm sure the Princesses have an account along with Mikan.
Kei: Why don't you start an account first?
Ramuh: Great! -He said as a laptop would appear in front of him as he had teleported it and would begin creating a Twitter account-
Kei: First you gotta give your email address, full name and language and sex.
Ramuh: Alright. My email address! Done! Full name. Ramuhtal Hazaradin-
Kei: Ramuh Hazard is fine!
Ramuh: Oh, right! Language? Spanish? Jamaican? Chinese? What are these things?
Kei: Just go for Japanese.
Ramuh: Right! Sex? Hmm… Lots of times? Wait, male or female?
Kei: Choose male.
Ramuh: But I didn't do it with a guy!
Kei: Just choose it!
Ramuh: ALRIGHT! FEMALE IT IS! -Kei was heard chuckling for a bit until Nemesis was heard calling out to Ramuh from upstairs-
Nemesis: Ra! We need your tracking!
Ramuh: What? Why?
Nemesis: Princess Nana's pet Chupacabra escaped.
Nana: It's not a Chupacabra! It's a Carvarian-
Nemesis: Nobody asked, Princess.
Ramuh: I'm on it! -He said as he would get up and head upstairs as Emperor, the King of the Zerg swarm would enter the living from the kitchen and would sit on the couch with Kei and noticed Kei was tampering with the laptop-
Emperor: What are you doing?
Kei: I'm "updating" Ramuh's account.
Emperor: An online account for him to socialise?
Kei: Yup.
Emperor: Nice.
Kei: "I am in a relationship with a child. She is over hundreds of years old." -Emperor was chuckling as he watched-
Emperor: I was thinking of heading out to shoot some hoops, you in?
Kei: Sure thing, just let me finish this.
Emperor: Ra, we're headin' out in a bit to catch some eyes, you in? -He shouted from the living room-
"HELL YEAH!" -Ramuh shouted from upstairs-
Kei: I'm done. And send-
Emperor: Hey now, don't do that. It'll just hurt him.
Kei: Yeah alright.
-Ramuh was seen heading downstairs with a basketball in his hand as he would then toss it to Kei-
Emperor: Alright then, time to have a little fun.
Ramuh: Before that, let's hit the convenience store first. I want my Slurpee.
Emperor: It's cold out and you still want a Slurpee?
Ramuh: Yes I do.
Emperor: But we'll be wasting our time.
Ramuh: Ain't my problem if I want a drink. -He said as he headed outside as Kei would turn back to look at Emperor pressing the "Enter" key on the laptop as the three Aliens left the house- Em? What's up?
Emperor: And send~ -He said as he would smile and head out of the house with the guys-
-Hours later in the home of the Yuukis. Kei was seen sitting on the couch in the living room as he was drinking a cup of coffee and Ramuh would enter the home and walk towards Kei angrily-
Ramuh: I'm in a relationship with a child?
Kei: -He had a soft smile on his face- I believe I read that somewhere.
Ramuh: Not only is it not funny? It is rude and shallow and disgusting and- It's not funny!
Kei: I respectfully disagree.
Ramuh: I can't believe you put that on my Twitter account!
Kei: Who cares? Nobody reads those things.
Ramuh: You better hope not. Because I just read what you put on your account today.
Kei: i don't have an account.
Ramuh: Oh-oh-Oh, I respectfully disagree! -He said as he left the house-
-Moments later in the same living room, Mikan and Kei were seen together as they were both staring at a laptop in front of Kei as the man had worn his glasses while looking questionable-
Mikan: Alright wait a second. Why would Ramuh tell everybody in the galaxy that you are as "Gay as the day is long"?
Kei: Because I told everyone that he slept with a child.
Mikan: Well, that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true! -The phone started ringing-
Kei: Could you get that please? People have been calling from the outer rim to congratulate me all day!
Mikan: -She would head to the phone and answer it- Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his girlfriend… Yeah, well it came as quite a shock to me too! -Kei would then stare at Mikan- Well I guess I should've known, yeah. He just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
Kei: Hang up- Hang UP! And that was a great movie. -Mikan would then put the phone down- I'm so gonna get back at Ramuh. -He would then think for about a second and would then begin typing on the laptop- Oh yeah, this'll show him. Here we go.
Mikan: What are you doing?
Kei: Oh, you'll see, my friend!
-Moments later, Ramuh would enter the house as Kei was reading a book in the living room-
Ramuh: I'm dead?!
Kei: And so young.
Ramuh: Posting that I died. That really isn't funny.
Kei: Well, how you died was funny.
Ramuh: Oh please! Hit by a blimp?
Kei: -He then stood up and looked at Ramuh- It kills over 1 Aliens every year.
Ramuh: Unbelievable. My schoolmates, my colleagues and my superiors are going to think that I'm dead! You're messing with people's feelings here.
Kei: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt Professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
Ramuh: You've really crossed a line here. But that's okay. Because I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right. Your coming-out is about to get real graphic! -He said as he would then turn and leave the house-
-Later then at Ramuh's ship, Kei would enter the ship and saw that the Yautja was sitting on his couch in the living room and was tampering with the laptop in front of him-
Kei: Hey, Ramuh. Look, I just wanted to apologize… -He said as he then noticed the homophobic images of himself having sexual intercourses with other Human males in Ramuh's computer- Don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me. -He said as he would sit down next to his friend-
Ramuh: Uh-huh, Uh-huh! Check this out. -He pointed-
Kei: Oh, so that's what I'd looked like if I had worked out. And was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually gonna send these out, are ya?
Ramuh: Actually, no, I don't need to. Your "Ramuh is dead" joke didn't work, okay? There were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my colleagues and my girlfriend, so the joke, my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. -He smiled briefly as his eyes then widened as he had realised what he had just said- Oh, my God. Nobody cares that I'm dead?
Kei: Oh, come on, you know that's not true.
Ramuh: What are you talking about? You get like 60-80 responses just for coming out of the closet. I didn't get one response, and I'm dead!
Kei: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
Ramuh: I can't believe this. Not even my weapon's assistant. And I carried that guy!
Kei: Alright look, let's think of it this way, don't you recall crashing your ship here on Earth and everyone had already thought that you were dead?
Ramuh:...Ah, double standards!
-THE END-