I was sitting at a corner booth inside of a quaint lesser known café located on the outskirts of Los Angeles. My eyes were aimlessly roaming the surroundings outside the window I was sitting next to. I mindlessly tapped my fingers on the tabletop and waited for my coffee to arrive. Most of the time I was incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to pursue and live out my dream of working as a professional actor. However, the lack of anonymity at any given time was a feature of stardom I would never acclimate to.
Most of the time, I flashed a smile, intently stared at my fans who would talk to me and turn on the charm. I was happy to do so, but I preferred to observe my surroundings and pick out the minute environmental and personal details that most people don't notice. I couldn't do this while I was Rainer Devon, so on this particular day I chose to hide my identity. I adjusted my blonde wig and sunglasses, paranoid that someone might recognize me. I was a regular customer at this cafe and have never had to worry about being recognized before, but I could never be too careful.
A waitress approached me with a full pot of dark French roast coffee as the wisps of her blonde hair bounced around with every step she took towards me. As she got closer, I tried to collect as much information as I could about her before she arrived at my table. She appeared to be a vivacious middle aged woman, with a few fine wrinkles around her eyes and forehead, etched there as if they had their own secrets to tell. There was no ring on her wedding finger, I noticed as she poured the coffee into my cup. I looked up at the waitress's name tag located just below her neckline, accentuating a small amount of cleavage exposed by the undone top button of her uniform. The name tag on her chest read "Amanda."
I looked directly into Amanda's eyes, leaned closer and conspiratorially requested that she leave the whole pot of coffee on my table. I could tell that she was getting flustered because her cheeks started to develop a rosy tint as she quickly looked away and glanced over her shoulder as if she were being watched. I realized that she was probably worried about what her boss would say. However, I knew someone higher up on the chain of command and said to her "It's ok. You won't get in trouble for leaving the pot here, I am a friend of the owner of this cafe." I winked at her as I thrust a crisp twenty dollar bill into the palm of her hand. For added measure, I picked up her hand and chastely kissed the back of it.
Amanda opened and closed her mouth as if she was awestruck by my actions. Finally, when she gathered her thoughts, a beaming smile replaced any tension or nervousness that she was exhibiting previously. "Is there anything you want to eat, sugar?" Amanda asked. "Could you please get me a medium sized garden vegetable pizza?" I requested. Creamy ribbons spilled out from the tiny container into the dark liquid inside of my mug, creating patterns that would dissolve in a few seconds. I looked back up at Amanda and she said "sure thing, sweetie" as she walked away from me back towards the kitchen.
I started to reach for my notebook as a flash of red crossed my right peripheral view outside of the cafe's window. I turned my shoulders and head in order to get a better view and audibly sucked in a quick, shallow breath when I found what I was looking for. Outside, was the most exquisite woman I had ever laid eyes on. There was something sweet about her I recognized straight away, something innocent.
I'm not sure if it was the way her wine colored hair cascaded over her left shoulder, flowing seamlessly like a fiery waterfall which framed her angelic face. Or, if it was the gentle smile she wore while looking down at the book she was grasping, that first drew me in. All I knew was that I was already hooked. I noticed the title of the book she was reading and my eyes widened a little bit. The title of the book was "An Actor Prepares." My thoughts were racing and I was more than a little intrigued.
I wondered if she was an actress and thought that this was it; my opening to go approach her. As I stepped outside of the cafe, I noticed her her long white flowery summer dress and how it made her pale skin look lightly sun-kissed. The mystery woman's dress swayed in the breeze, revealing a small sliver of skin and I caught a glimpse of her slim, but toned physique. I felt pulled into her vortex and knew that I had to meet her. I saw that she was sitting on a bench alone waiting for the bus and panicked because I knew that if she left I might never see her again. The notion that I might already be attached to the idea of loosing her before we spoke to each other seemed simultaneously devastating and ridiculous.
My footsteps felt lighter as I got closer to my destination and my heartbeat roared thunderously in my ears, making it difficult to hear anything in my immediate surroundings. Dangling from her long, swan-like neck was a golden locket. The locket gleamed in the sunlight as the light bounced off of it and seemed to dance around her face and body. Her skin looked effervescent and her hair was brilliantly illuminated by the dewy glow of the sun, beaming down on each individual strand. My hands itched uncomfortably as I curled my fingers closed towards my palms in order to ward off the impulse to run them through her locks when I would introduce myself. I took three deep breaths as I approached the one hundred foot marker from where she was sitting. At this point, my heart was beating uncontrollably against my rib cage at an inhuman rate and I started to wonder if this was what it was like to have a heart attack.
As I walked closer to this woman, I was sure I was entering an altered state of existence approaching Nirvana. My body started to feel electrified in a way I had never previously experienced firsthand. As I reached the fifty foot marker I was yanked from my reverie as I felt someone lightly grab a hold of my sweatshirt and gently tug on the back of it. I quickly turned around and realized that I was face to face with my former best friend, Jordan Wilder. I gritted my teeth, balled up my fists and felt my body heat up with anger as I looked into Jordan's hopeful, yet sad eyes. "What are you doing here? You know this is my spot," I questioned with a sense of urgency. My eyes met Jordan's with disdain and I was about to make a beeline away from this situation, but I heard him mutter something quietly.
Jordan moved closer to me as I took a step backwards and with more volume this time he said "it wasn't worth it...the ending of our friendship wasn't worth hooking up with Tangey and I'm sorry I put you in that situation." I eyed Jordan warily, let out the breath that I was holding onto as I took another step backwards, creating more space between us. The physical distance between us was mirrored by the gaping emotional wound that wound it's way through the core of our friendship. "I thought, I could trust you," I whispered to Jordan. Jordan shook his head in disappointment and said "I know I let you down, but could we please start over? We have been best friends since we were kids. It was one mistake, one time and it didn't mean anything. I was drunk, stupid and not thinking clearly" Jordan pleaded.
Silence rang out between us, creating a noticeable dichotomy against the backdrop of the harsh bustling noises in the city that never slept. A car's horn blared in the distance, followed by people yelling expletives at one another. This broke me out of my stupor. "Come on man, you know in the next couple of months we will be working together on set" Jordan stated. I considered what Jordan was saying and recognized the fact that this was the first time we have gone more than two weeks without talking. At that particular moment, I had effectively iced Jordan out of my life for nearly four months.
I rubbed my temples as I felt a headache approaching. I told Jordan that I needed some more time before we started hanging out again, but that I forgave him and working on set together would be no problem. Suddenly, I remembered the reason why I was outside of the cafe in the first place and told Jordan that I had to leave. As Jordan walked away, I turned around and saw that the mystery woman had disappeared. All that was left in her place was the space she occupied and a memory that I would never forget.
My heart felt impossibly heavy as I headed back towards the cafe. Step by step, my feet were moving more sluggishly as they dragged across the cement sidewalk. My legs moved like a cargo shipment on the back of a freight train toeing the precarious line between the past and future. I could not believe I missed her...the mystery angel with red hair. The thought of never seeing her again ate away at my psyche as I sat back down at my empty booth, greeted by a table full of food and cold, dull coffee. I sat down in silence, quietly ate my food and observed various people coming in and out of the cafe for the rest of the afternoon. I hoped that one day the mystery woman would appear again.