Thranduil stared down at the letter in his hand, written in Avaleina's neat script that had always been so much tidier than Legolas' own, but worded in such a way that he was certain he had dictated it to her. Judging by the fact that Legolas was sitting on his hands, rather than leaving them free to tap silent rhythms like usual probably meant they were shaking too hard for him to write it himself. And words had never been his forte, most hard to deliver news was brought to his father in the form of letters.

This was potentially the worst news Thranduil had ever been given, and as a king who ruled during a war that literally lasted centuries; he had been given a lot of bad news. Part of him wanted desperately to cry at just the thought of Legolas leaving these shores without him. To be parted. The other part wanted to cry over the thought of what pain his son might feel if he didn't leave.

But he knew that if he were to give in to the urge, then his poor son who was obviously trying desperately to keep himself together wouldn't stand a chance. "You and Ava are the first I've told."

He folded the letter so he didn't have to look at the words on the page, "How long have you known?"

Legolas looked up and away at nothing in particular, distracted by something in his head, "I knew the very moment it happened. Do you know what's worse? I knew it would happen. I had been warned, and I did it anyway."

Knowing his son's habit of getting lost within his thoughts, Thranduil gently took his son's hand and squeezed reassuringly, "Warned by who?"

It took a moment longer than Thranduil would have liked for Legolas to be able to focus on him again, "Beware the Sea, if thou hearest the cry of the gull on the shore, thy heart shall then rest in the forest no more." He said it with a slight tune, and Thranduil had no doubt that it had been playing over and over in his mind since the sea.

Celeborn had written him the moment Legolas had left the golden wood to ensure Thranduil knew that for now at least he was whole and well. But had neglected to mention his wife's warning, "Galadriel. And she still let you go?"

"I could not have been stopped." Slowly, finally, small tears began to leak from his eyes but were quickly wiped away, "I knew it would happen, I just did not think it would feel like this. It's too much. I keep washing my hands but I can't get the blood off. When I close my eyes I can't stop seeing, seeing it all. Sometimes it's so loud I can't hear what people say to me."

The last of the carefully constructed wall Legolas had so diligently built and maintained over the last months crumbled, "My heart aches for something I'm scared I can never find in the lands again and I'm scared that none of this will stop until I give in. I can't get it to stop and I need it to stop-"

For the second time that day he openly wept in the arms of one who loved him.

...0.0..0.0

When Legolas had not arrived for dinner, Aragorn supposed his best course of action was to loiter in his brother's room and wait for somebody to come. Because, eventually, somebody would. Because they knew that, eventually, the twins would get tired of waiting and leave to get answers themselves.

They were nothing if not protective older brothers.

Gimli had somewhat reluctantly gone to bed not long after dinner but only after getting both the twins and Aragorn to firmly swear that they would wake him should anything happen. They had all agreed to let sleeping dwarves lie, he needed rest almost badly as Legolas did by this point.

Somehow Gimli had a strange ability to wake up whenever Legolas tired to sneak away and insist on joining him more often than not.

Somebody knocked on the door but came in before anybody could answer. Not unsurprisingly, it was Avaleina that barged in, "I thought I might find you here Estel. And before you ask he's with his father."

That wasn't surprising either.

After one look at her face, Elladan offered her his wine glass, which had been recently filled and she nearly drank the entirety of it. "Oh, it's going that well?"

Ignoring him, she turned to Aragorn, "Where's Gimli?"

"Gone to bed."

"Oh, good. Legolas has just sent me to chase him there, and the hobbits?"

"They had their fair share of your wine and have also gone to bed."

Elrohir pulled her back and onto the couch with him before she had a chance to make a break for it, "What's the verdict?"

"That depends on who you're asking about, and what Legolas' decision is."

The brothers glanced at each other and then Aragorn asked for them, "He does have a choice though? There are options?"

Options other than sailing.

The unspoken words hung in the air, the twins were well aware there were some wounds that could not be healed on these lands. They had seen it happen to their own mother.

She looked down to her hands, "Sort of."

"What does that mean 'sort of'? How can you 'sort of' have options?"

That, apparently was the wrong thing to say and before Aragorn could apologize or one of the twins grab a hold of her she was out the door and slamming it behind her. Elrohir quickly followed after, while Elladan fixed his youngest brother with a dark expression.

"Sorry."

...0.0...00.0.0.

"Ava!"

She heard Elrohir calling for her, could hear his footsteps quickly making their way down the hall behind her, surprisingly not accompanied by his brothers. It was for that reason and that reason only that she slowed her steps to a brisk walk.

Encouraged, Elrohir quickened his own and soon fell in step next to her, "Don't listen to Estel, I know he already feels bad for what he said."

She turned right at the hallway he hoped she wouldn't, heading directly for Thranduil's room. "I don't care."

But she still let him link one arm with hers, "You do not have to tell us what it is, and Estel should not have asked. But tell us what we may do to help either you, Legolas or the king. Anybody, really. We just want to help."

Her steps managed to slow a bit more and she sighed, "I know.

"Good." They both went silent as they passed by a guard going about his day, "So tell me what we might do?"

"I don't know yet." Not entirely encouraging. "I am waiting to hear what Thranduil has to say."
Before the final turn to the king's room, Avaleina stopped, "Thank you, for bringing him home."

Elrohir kissed her cheek, "For the two of you? Anything."

She glanced around the corner, perhaps making sure there was nobody lurking around nearby or maybe you check if Galion was waiting expectantly for her outside the door. He was, with a stack of papers she must need for something.

Turning back to Elrohir her eyes were a bit glossier than they should have been, "It's not good. Soon he will have to make a choice."

He knew that choice. The choice of if it was to determine if it was worth it to fight, or that there was truly no living this way. The choice to sail, or to stay. "I'm sorry. We tried to get him back before he got this far."

Somehow, in that impossible way of Silvan elves she managed a laugh. Not a mocking of spiteful one, but small and appreciative, "He would not have let you. He would not have come home until he was ready to face this, no matter how much you pushed or pulled."

"Find us later if you need to, at any time of day."

...

Legolas felt Avelina returning long before she knocked on his father's door, which swing open of their own accord at their king's silent wish.

In her arms was a small stack of papers, and even from here he could pick out several of the chief councilors handwriting. His father abandoning his work did not mean it went away, only that it was somebody's else's problem. Usually, that meant it was his problem.

It was a bit touching to see that Ava had taken over that responsibility so readily.

His father was in the midst of telling a story and so she did not give a greeting other than a bright smile before starting to sort the papers in her arms to the appropriate piles amongst the overcrowded table in the corner.
Galion was suspiciously nowhere to be seen.

With the story done his father turned his attention to their new member as she took her spot next to Legolas on the couch, "And your stitches?"

"Freshly changed and cleaned." When he narrowed his eyes suspiciously she continued with a bit more enthusiasm, "They are! I got Elrohir to do it."

"Very well, if you say so."

She had only been gone for hardly two hours but he had missed her. It was no secret that he did not do well away from those he loved. "Gimli?"

"Already in bed and asleep before I even checked. The hobbits too. What have you two decided?"

"Decided?" His father asked, with slightly more drama than was needed, "Nothing. Family's do not make decisions until they are all there, we were waiting for you."

Next to him on the couch, Ava's ears turned a marvelous shade of red, and her soul put out warmth like a freshly stoked fire. Legolas knew his father felt it too, there was no need to hide here. "Thoughts?"

"I think it's a bit obvious to us all, but I don't think it's a question of 'if' you sail, but 'when'"

Legolas hated to agree, but even he could not lie to himself like that. If they were going to do this they needed to be practical. "Yes, I think you're right."

None of them wanted to say the next thing, though they were all thinking it. Ever the one to hate beating around the bush, his father caved first. "Do you need to sail now?"

Need. Not want. He did not want to go, would likely never want to go. But one day, eventually, he would need to.

Ava tightened her grip on his hand, probably without knowing she did it. If he said yes, they would make it happen. They would support him as best they ever could if that's what he decided. They would do anything he asked, right then. And he knew it.

Legolas thought about all he had suffered through, and the long nights awake and his loss of desire for food. His wandering mind that could not be leashed and kept from thoughts he did not want to have. "I think.."

It was so hard. It hurt. So badly.

But so would leaving Gimli and Aragorn. Leaving Ava and his father would break his heart, but he could never forgive himself for leaving Gimli and Aragorn before they were literally ripped from him.

Ava and his father he would see again. He only had a few years with his mortal friends. And then they would be gone forever.

"I cannot leave until Estel and Gimli are gone." Her hand released its dire grip, and his father looked far less like he might pass out, "So we need a plan."

.

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