A/N: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR. THE PRIDE OF THIS FIC: CHAPTER 14.

Ahh, I'm so excited about this chapter! I hope you guys like it! Read and review! There are going to be more chapters I promise :)

Time skip to sometime mid-January

Alex didn't remember anything from that night, I assumed. He never brought any of it back up. Sighing, I looked at my locker. Grabbing my backpack and homework, I set off to the library to find Alex. We were supposed to have a study night today for our test tomorrow. "Hey, Alex."

"Oh, hey, Laurens." He waved from his little corner. He closed his computer and grabbed his bag. "Ready to go?" He asked.

"Yup," I said. We set off to his house, deep in a random conversation about Netflix shows. When we arrived at Alex's house, Martha greeted us. "Hello, boys!" Martha called from the kitchen.

"Hi!" I said.

"Hey, Martha," Alex said.

We walked up to his stairs to his bedroom and started our homework. We finished quite fast and ended up just laying around and talking. On our study nights I sleepover so if we forget anything, we can finish it in the middle of the night together instead of the next morning at the last minute. Personally, it just gives me a reason to leave my house and escape my abusive father.

Alex POV

I opened my phone and stared at the picture of me and Laurens under the mistletoe. I realized I forgot to scold Eliza for it.

John POV

"Alex, Laurens, George and I are going out of town and won't be back until tomorrow. We trust that you two will be responsible and won't break anything." Martha called up the stairs.

"Okay! Have fun!" I called back.

"See ya later," Alex called, not looking up from his phone. We heard the front door close.

"Hey, Alex?" I asked. It's now or never.

"Yep?" He said, not looking up from his phone.

"Can you look at me?" I grabbed his phone and threw it behind me. His face turned a shade of pink.

"Okay, I looked at you." He said, reaching for his phone. I put a hand on his forehead to stop him. I'm stronger than I look.

"Well, you are stronger than you look." He narrowed his eyes.

"Yeah. Whatever. Look at me as I tell you this okay?"

"Okay. What's up?"

"I can trust you with a secret, right?" I sat crisscross with my hands propping me up from behind me.

"Yes. Of course."

"I'm gay."

"And? I'm bi," he said, not dazed at all. Wait… he is BI? That means I still have a chance with him!

"You aren't going to tell anyone, right?" I asked.

"Laurens, you trusted me with this. Of course, I won't tell anyone."

"Does anyone know you're bi?"

"Nah, I don't trust anyone with that stuff. Aaron is a little weird when it comes to things like that, Thomas just hates me with a passion, James will tell anyone anything if he's pressured, Theodosia is the same with James, Laf, and Herc both can't keep their traps shut, and the Schuylers… you can't trust them with anything… except for Eliza. I tell her everything."

"Oh. That makes sense." I thought for a minute. "But why did you trust me?'

"Because you respect me more than anyone else, and they know me well."

"Oh…" I felt my cheeks turn hot.

Alex broke the silence. Of course.

"You never did tell me your first name."

He didn't remember. He kissed me and didn't remember. "You… don't remember?"

"Wait, you told me already? And I don't remember?" He sounded terrified.

"Yeah…" I looked at the ground.

"Well. Could you tell me again?" He asked.

"John."

"Well, nice to meet you, John Laurens!" He stuck his hand out as a joke. I shook it.

"Nice to meet you too, Alexander Hamilton!" I laughed. Normally, I don't like people calling me "John". It makes them sound like my father… but when Alex called me by my first name, it sounded… natural?

We ended up sitting in silence for a long time, staring at either the ground or the ceiling. Alex broke the silence (again). "When did you tell me your name?" He looked like a confused puppy. Damn him. My face felt hotter than it normally did.

"Well… I told you during the Schuyler new year's party."

"You did?"

"After the party. You were kind of drunk on spiked punch…" I trailed off, thinking about how he had kissed me.

"And?" He said, genuinely interested yet frightened at the same time.

"And… you may or may not have kissed me…" I looked at anything but Alex. It was too awkward.

"I'm sorry! I was drunk, and-and, I-I didn't m-mean to! I'm so sorry!" His face turned completely red. If this were a book, this is where he would confess he liked me too and we would have a real kiss. Except this isn't a book (a/n oh but it is), and Alex just apologized instead of confessing. Life sucks.

"No, it's fine… you were drunk, it's okay," I said, looking at the ceiling fan whirling above us.

"Are you sure? That was super stupid of me to do." Alex hugged his knees to his chest.

"Alex, I'm sure." I rested a hand on his shoulder, summoning up enough courage to look him in the eye.

Alex moved suddenly and engulfed me in a tight hug firm like Angelica's. It took me by surprise, but after a couple of seconds, I hugged him back.

We let go after a couple of minutes and talked about Peggy trying to ride her skateboard off of Herc's truck at the new year's party. We laughed at the fact that Peggy admitted that it may be smart if she started a little smaller. "But what does she mean by smaller?" Alex joked. We had a very healthy dinner of microwave mac and cheese and we headed back upstairs. He flopped on his bed and I flopped on his beanbag. The beanbag has been officially called "The Laurens Lump" because I always sit there. That's when Alex's phone went off. "Sorry," he mouthed to me as he answered. "Hello?" He held the phone close to his ear.

"Hi, Alex! Whatcha doin' right now?" Alex threw the phone on the other side of the bed out of pain. I could hear Peggy on the other end laughing.

Alex POV

"Peggy!" I swiped my phone back up and turned the volume down. "What the heck?! That just murdered my ear!" I rubbed the ear that she screamed in. I held the phone to my other ear.

"Sorry." She said sheepishly. "What are you doing though? I'm bored!" She drawled out 'bored' by the "o."

"I'm looking for something to watch on Netflix with Laurens." I made sure that I didn't say "John."

"Ooh! Hang up and I'll FaceTime you!"

"Pegs wait I-" she hung up on me.

"What was that about?" Laurens asked me, puzzled.

"She's going to face-" my sentence as cut off by my phone ringing. I answered.

"What do you want, Peggy?" I asked, annoyed.

"Let me watch Netflix with you guys! I have a great movie recommendation!" She giggled wildly.

"What is it?" Laurens sat next to me so he could fit in the camera frame.

"Hi, Laurens!" Peggy waved. The screen lagged a bit so her hand was all pixelated. "Okay. Here's what I have on my top ten list of want to see movies: Birdbox…"

"Seen it." Laurens and I both said at the same time.

"Okay… The Kissing Booth?"

"Saw it with Martha. It sucked." Laurens said.

"Ugh! Bedtime Stories?"

"Boring movie. More childish than anything." I said.

"To All the Boys I've Loved Before?"

"I haven't seen that one, but it sounds kind of girly," I said.

"I've seen parts of it. It was funny at some parts but others were kind of interesting," Laurens said. "I would probably watch it, though."

"But it's a girly movie!" I argued.

"For someone who loves debate, Peggy and I are going to make you watch it. Whether we win or lose the debate." Laurens grabbed the remote before I could, switching it to the movie Pegs recommended.

We positioned Peggy's screen towards the TV so she could watch it with us.

"Why can't you watch it on your own?" Laurens asked, puzzled.

"It's more fun with friends! And besides, you guys were going to watch something tonight, anyway, right?"

"... Fine." I sighed.

"Yes!" Peggy jumped up and down, shaking her phone so much that the camera fell over and turned the screen dark. She picked it back up and positioned it back to where it was before.

Laurens helped position the phone just enough so that Peggy could see the TV screen. We watched the movie with either Laurens or me asking Peggy a question on what was going on. Peggy, surprisingly, was a better listener than me. That movie, despite how girly it seems, was pretty good. Peggy ended up falling asleep a couple of minutes after the hot tub scene and Eliza came in and turned Peggy's phone off with a little hello to me and Laurens. She gave me a knowing look. I glared at her. Laurens and I were both getting tired, but Laurens insisted on watching the movie until the end. Laurens ended up falling asleep when the three sisters were chasing each other near the end. Laurens' head was hanging in the air for quite some time. Just enough time to take a picture of the peaceful look on his face. I watched the rest of the movie and was about to start watching The Office when I felt something hit my shoulder. I turned my head and saw Laurens.

His face was adorable. His hair, slightly knotted, was billowing out of his normal ponytail and framing his face perfectly. His closed eyes formed two perfect crescents. Then I noticed something smudged underneath his right eye. I wanted to ask him what that was but I didn't want to ruin the moment, so I took a picture of him on my shoulder. He was too cute.

I decided my shoulder hurt and my hand itched to write more, so I picked Laurens up bridal style and set him on my beanbag. Or, I should say, The Laurens Lump. He was still sound asleep.

It was about three hours later when I ran out of ideas on what to write about. I closed my laptop and looked at my phone's clock. 2:43. Too early to sleep… I might have another panic attack or memory… my thoughts were interrupted by me falling asleep.

… I laughed. A genuine laugh. "Red, you're so funny!" I laughed harder.

"Well, I'm also not you, so that helps…" Red said, inspecting his nails in mockery.

"Yeah. Sure." I rolled my eyes.

We continued our conversation when we felt the fast wind. It continued as Red, being the responsible 18-year-old he was, protected me, the tiny 12-year-old. He picked me up bridal style and ran me over to a safe area. "Red! No!" I grabbed his sleeve.

"Alexander. These people have better lives to live than mine!" He called as he wriggled out of my grip and ran over to a group of people trying to escape the storm.

I ran. I ran from the storm and somehow survived. The storm lasted too long for me to know. I came out from my latest hiding spot to look around at the damage.

I saw dead bodies washing up onshore. I walked around every dead body, trying to identify them. No. No, no no, no. Nononononononono. I saw my cousin. My brother James. My buddy Red. Red was dead. Everyone I love is dead. They are all dead. Ils sont tous morts. Ils sont tous morts. Ils sont tous morts.

"Ils sont tous morts!" I screamed, bolting upright. I saw John jump up out of his sleep and look at me. I grabbed my computer and started typing "Ils sont tous morts" on the screen.

"Alex! Are you okay?" John ran over to me, fear the dominant emotion present in his eyes.

"Ils sont tous morts. Ils sont tous morts. Ils sont tous morts." I chanted over and over. I continued to type this phrase over and over again and again.

"Alex! What does that mean?!" John grabbed my shoulders and tipped my head up towards his face.

"Ils sont tous morts. Ils sont tous morts." I chanted, tears a steady river down my face.

"Alex! Answer me!" John yelled. He let go of my shoulders and I went back to typing the phrase.

"Ils sont tous morts." I continued.

"Laf, I need your help." I heard John say. Phone, I thought. John ran over to me, phone being propped up by his shoulder, holding it close to his ear. He grabbed my computer out of my hands.

"Ils sont tous morts!" I cried, face hanging in my hands. I was shaking vigorously even though I wasn't cold.

John read the screen. "Laf, what does… ils sont tous morts mean?... 'They are all dead?'"

John was silent for a long time.

"Okay. Thanks, Laf." He hung up.

"Ils sont tous morts!" I yelled into the silence.

"Alex! Who is dead?" John looked at me.

I kept repeating the chant, as if I were in a trance, instead of answering him.

"Alex! I'm not dead! You aren't dead, Laf isn't dead, no one is dead!" John yelled.

"... Ils sont tous morts," I said once more, barely audible.

John wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight. "Alex, no one is dead. Please, just listen to me. I'm still here. I won't leave you, I promise." My tears flowed more than ever hearing that, helping me snap out of my trance. I took a second to calm down before I hugged John back. I cried some more into his shoulder, squeezing him like he was the only family I have left.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but it seemed like a long time. "John?" I whispered.

"Yes?"

"I-I… there was a-a storm when I was twelve a-and it k-killed almost the entire t-town and everyone I l-loved was d-dead."

"Alex? Are you serious?" He asked.

"Y-yeah… I have f-flashbacks like that a lot during the night. Th-that's why I const-tantly wr-write instead of sleep."

"Oh, Alex... I am so sorry," he said, squeezing me tighter. I squeezed him tighter as well. "Just… remember you can tell me anything. Eliza, Laf, and I are always here for you."

"Thank you, John."

Silence. "Can you hand me my phone?" I asked once my hiccuping went down slightly.

"Sure," he let go and handed me my phone which was on my nightstand. I shivered at the lack of body heat from John. I covered myself in a fuzzy blanket to keep some heat with me. John handed me my phone and I opened it and covered up what I was doing. I didn't even know what I was doing when I opened the picture of us under the mistletoe. I felt another river of tears fight their way through my eyes as I realized John probably only saw me as a friend.

"Alex? Are you sure you're okay?" He asked as he sat down next to me again. I dropped my phone and hugged him. I felt him tense up. "Alex... What's that picture of?" I tensed.

"Wh-what?" I looked down and saw my phone still on and showing the mistletoe picture. I let go of John and grabbed my phone and frantically turned it off. "N-nothing!"

"Can you please tell me what it was?"

"Eliza sent me a picture of us under the mistletoe," I looked at my hands.

"Why… were you looking at that?"

I didn't answer.

John POV

"Alex?"

No answer.

"Lexi?" I asked jokingly.

No answer.

"I'm serious, are you okay? Why were you looking at that?"

No answer.

"Alex, please-"

"I like you, okay?!" I froze.

"What?"

"I like you. An-and when I closed my shades on you when you first moved here it's because I was afraid of the storm and I didn't want you to know this ugly, horrible side of me and I just ruined everything," he squeezed his eyes shut tight as tears made their way for another round.

"Alex, what-"

"I get it. It's fine if you don't like me back," he let a sob on the word "back".

"Alex-"

"And I understand if you don't want to be friends if it's too awkward around me," he continued.

"Alex!"

He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes, tearstained cheeks, and little strands of hair falling out of his ponytail.

I sighed as I pressed my forehead against his. "Listen… I like you too. I always have, Alex." Alex gazed up at me with his bloodshot, yet still deep and beautiful, eyes.

"Are y-you serious?"

"Yes, Ale-" He cut me off by meeting lips with mine and wrapping his arms around my neck. I returned the kiss and wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him close. I wanted to keep the kiss going but we do need air every now and then. We broke the kiss and pressed our foreheads together.

"Thank you, John. For everything," Alex whispered.

"Your welcome, Alex," I closed my eyes thinking about our first "real" kiss.

"Hey, John?"

"Yeah?" I pulled my forehead away and looked at Alex.

"I, um… I kinda like it when you call me Lexi," Alex blushed and stared at his thumbs.

"You… do? You always said you hated the nickname?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Well… I always said I hated it just so you wouldn't think I liked you in that way," his blush got deeper.

"Well, Lexi, just… you can tell me anything," I said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it lightly. He blushed some more and smiled. Suddenly his face deflated. "What?" I asked.

"What are we gonna tell the squad?" He asked. My smile faded away into a firm line.

"I dunno… wait. Martha already thinks we're dating, but she sits with George, Charles, and Samuel at lunch."

"And?"

"She has left me alone ever since we pretended to be dating. But no one else in the squad thinks we're dating."

"Yeah?"

"Peggy also said that we make a cute ship," I said, along with a blush creeping up on my face. "So what if we just torture everyone by acting cute and pretend we aren't dating?"

A smug grin slowly spread across Alex's face. "I like this idea."

"So do I," I said, hugging him and placing my head on his. He returned the hug and giggled. That's when Alex broke the silence.

"Um, I noticed something earlier, though."

"Wh-what?"

"There's like something smudged on your cheek, almost like concealer or something?" He pointed to my cheek.

"Oh, um…" I'm officially dating him, I can tell him secrets! "My father makes me use it," I confessed.

"Why?"

"He thinks I'm ugly," I looked at the ground.

"Why on God's green earth would he say that?" Alex yelled. He stood up and went into the bathroom. He returned with a little plastic box of makeup wipes. "These are Martha's, so don't tell her about this." He opened it and pulled one out and reached for my face.

"L-Lexi, I'd rather you not," I leaned backward.

"No. You're father can't change who you are, it's fine," Alex said in a small, soft voice.

"Okay," I breathed.

Alex POV

I rubbed the wipe on his face to reveal a beautiful spread of freckles everywhere. I put a hand over my mouth and looked at John who was blushing. "Oh my god." I breathed out.

"I know. I look ugly," he blushed harder and turned his head around. I narrowed my eyes at him. Placing both of my hands on the sides of his head I turned him towards me and kissed him.

"No, you aren't. You are beautiful," I whispered. He hugged me. "John? Why are you so afraid of your father?"

"I… he's just strict and I don't want to upset him," he whispered.

"You're lying."

"Well… I… I'm stretching the truth," he confessed, looking away from me.

"John?"

"I… he abuses Martha and me."

"Verbally? Or physically?"

"B-both," his voice broke.

"John, you need to contact the authorities."

"Martha and I did call once back in South Carolina. They came to our house and we were perfectly fine at the time when they came and accused us of prank calling. That was one of the reasons we moved here," his voice broke a lot.

"John…"

"I'm sorry, I'm just a broken piece of shit," he buried his face in his hands.

"John, no you aren't. Can… can you tell me about your mom? Where does she fit into all of this?"

"My… father kicked her out because she chose our side. My father took all custody of us and accused my mother of physical abuse to us when it was his fault. We tried to s-speak out about the truth but w-we weren't allowed to have a say in our parents' divorce. The judge said the children have nothing to do with the parents," he sobbed. I pulled him close so his forehead was against my chest.

"What in actual fuck is wrong with South Carolina…" I muttered. "Listen, next time you are abused physically, call me. I will call the authorities," I whispered. John hugged me tighter.

"Thank you," he whispered, voice breaking once more.

I placed a small kiss on his head and pet his hair. Who wouldn't let the children have a say in their parents' divorce? THEY ARE FUCKING GOING TO BE MURDERED BY THEIR FATHER, I thought, anger boiling over and somehow making tears roll down my face. "L-Lexi? Why are you crying?"

"Because you're dad is a dick," I huffed.

"Lexi, don't get overworked about this," I said.

"I'll do my best… for you."

He gave me a quick kiss and said, "Thank you, Lexi." Then, under his breath, he said, "that's why I love you."

"What?" I looked at him with wide eyes. He loves me?

"N-nothing!" He said quickly.

"John-"

"Forget I said anything."

"John-"

"Can we just pretend I didn't say anything?"

"John!" He flinched and shrunk away in fear or something.

"Yes?" He said in a teeny voice.

"I love you too," I said, pulling him closer.

"R-really?"

"Yes, John."

He squeezed me tighter and I could feel his tears wet my shirt. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but John ended up falling asleep against my chest, thus giving me a chance to observe his face a little better.

His eyes still formed two perfect crescents, eyebrows ever so slightly raised. His lips were parted slightly and revealing the tips of his front teeth. His hair was still out of his normal ponytail and was more knotted than it was before, however still framing his face beautifully. The one thing different this time were his freckles. They were scattered across his face like stars forming constellations. He let out a little sigh which made me smile. I planted a small, soft kiss on his head, careful not to wake him up and whispered, "I love you, John Laurens."

He grumbled something and positioned himself to be more comfortable by wrapping his arms around my torso before whispering back, "I love you too, Alexander Hamilton."

A/N: I am so happy I got this far! More chapters are coming!

ALWAYS FIND THE GOOD IN A BAD SITUATION. STAY HEALTHY, STAY STRONG, AND WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS PANDEMIC TOGETHER. (can I please join the astronauts?)