Warning: smutish elements

Chapter Four

They didn't talk about his lost family. Sesshoumaru had no desire to in the cold light of day. Kagome said she was pleased she'd been complacent enough to return to the house with him and not go berserk, though when any mention of Kouga came up, she'd turn oddly silent and embarrassed.

Watching unmoving trees through the window become coated with a thick powdery layer of snow, Sesshoumaru observed the white flecks with a grim acknowledgement of what it meant. Even more work. Less food.

"That flea bitten wolf better not have hunted in my area," he grumbled to himself.

"You haven't sensed him around since the Full Moon last week, right?" Kagome hummed from his dog-eared armchair that was much too big for her, setting down her messy attempt at knitting. He assumed she'd been working on a scarf, though it looked more like a misshapen woolly handkerchief.

Sesshoumaru shook his head slightly, taking a sip of green tea.

She chewed on her plump bottom lip in a maddening fashion. "S-sesshoumaru...about what happened with Kouga."

"Hn?"

Fretting silently, she picked at her creation. "It's just- I never want to make you feel uncomfortable, and I feel like I did. So I'm sorry. It's just that you're comforting and that's why I was nuzzling around you, k? I-it's not anything deeper than that."

He could sense the lie in her words, along with underlying guilt. Obviously his past had prompted her to think he wouldn't be receptive to any...propositions.

And she was right, of course. Sesshoumaru had resolved long ago to isolate himself and stew in heavy silence as penance. Or perhaps it hadn't been his intention at all yet somewhere along the way he'd lost sight of what he could be after losing so much of himself.

"You broke into my room several times to sleep beside me and only now are you fretting about making me uncomfortable?" arching a brow, amusement coloured his voice.

Kagome smiled slowly, relaxing a little and knowing she'd been forgiven. However, blue eyes remained unreadable, sliding away. "Y-yeah, heh. Silly me."

Standing and setting down her knitting, she stretched and padded across the living room.

"Where are you going?"

Grabbing her coat off the hook, Kagome shrugged. "I'm just going to patrol the area in case Kouga has shown his face," she hummed. "I think I'll try transforming a little."

Sesshoumaru watched the woman move toward the door. She'd been transforming parts of her body fairly easily lately. He noted that she seemed to pause and thought better of something, placing her fur-lined coat back onto the hook and jogging away with a careless wave.

Rising as soon as she left, Sesshoumaru sped to the upstairs window to regard her.

Kagome ran out into heavy snowfall, holding her hand out to catch some flurries. White flecks caught in her fall of dark hair that fell to mid-back. Long legs shifted as she jogged, starting to strip a few items of clothing off and placing them beneath a tree, fur rushing along pale skin.

Sesshoumaru was pleased she'd put on weight in her time there, more meat on her bones and a healthy glow to rosy cheeks.

He watched enraptured as she disappeared into the white landscape beyond the trees. His heart clenched.

I should be with her.

But...no. He knew he had to start taking a step back. Kagome would likely leave by the time winter ended. She'd have no need of him soon. The thought shouldn't have bothered him as much as it did.

Sesshoumaru frowned as not two minutes later- the dark shape of a half-wolf, half-woman came bolting back towards his cabin.

Blurring downstairs, Sesshoumaru yanked his door just as Kagome transformed, wrapping both arms tight around herself to shield her nudity and ducking beneath his arm.

"What-"

"NOT NOW!" she yelled, disappearing upstairs.

Blinking, but catching a whiff of something, he made the mistake of inhaling- bones immediately locking, body stiffening. Turning dazed attention to the snowy ground Kagome had just sprinted across, he swallowed thickly. Blood dotted in a faint trail over pure white snow.

Heat rushed. It split fire through the Daiyoukai's veins, rushing straight towards his abdomen. His cock stirred. He sucked in a long inhale, getting high off the rich, syrupy, bewitching scent of her heat cycle that had just begun.

Sesshoumaru then shook himself, heart drumming hard and making him pant a little. This was not good.

"I-I had been wondering why I hadn't started my period since I got bitten," Kagome hesitantly called from the top of the stairs, creeping down and causing the wood to give loud squeaks of protest.

"Hn…" Sesshoumaru caught his breath, resting a hand on the door to steady himself. She'd likely put a tampon in, but that wouldn't be enough to save her from the effects.

"So um, how long will this last?"

Fuck she smelled so fucking appetising. Sesshoumaru's mouth filled with saliva. All he wanted to do was bury his tongue between her thighs and-

He visibly gulped, parting his lips and trying to ignore the twisting ache in his stomach. "5 to 10 days...sometimes more," Sesshoumaru croaked.

"Ah," Kagome let out a breathy sound, which did not help the situation in his pants. "Mn...it...it feels different from my other periods. W-what's going on?"

Didn't she know? Of course she didn't, she was so innocent- but no, not completely. Hadn't she offered herself once before? And she strutted around so confidently baring long tempting legs to his hungry male gaze, inviting him to stay while she bathed, teasing, touching. She wanted it-

Sesshoumaru dug his forehead against the front door, quivering.

"This bleeding cycle is not like a humans," he gritted out. "You will be compelled to mate."

"W-what?" her voice had become thin and squeaky. "Is this what Kouga was talking about? He said he could sense something."

"Most likely."

Kagome fell silent, mild fear mingling with blooming arousal. He could hear her shift and lean against the wall, hips dragging a little. "...Is he going to force me into bed with him?"

"I will not let him!" Sesshoumaru burst, snarling and whipping his head back to pin her with a burning gaze. Blue eyes widened, searching his face. Kagome's brows drew together, and he heard her silent question as clear as day;

'Would you force me?'

Choking on a pant, Sesshoumaru snuffed out the burning embers, squeezing his eyes shut and digging nails hard into his palms, pricking the skin. "This one will protect you. But...only a Saint could remain at your side unaffected. Gather supplies, quickly- then lock yourself in my room. Only leave for necessities. I will guard the house from outside."

"We have to be separated for that long?"

He growled softly, "indeed. Do not let me into the room under any circumstances, should I ask. Not unless you'd like to be pupped."

Kagome in her dark sweater dress that she'd obviously flung on in a rush, seemed to hitch the skirts up a little absentmindedly, brushing herself along the wall in an instinctual rut of her hips and gaining a half-lidded look, blushing. She then shook herself and crossed her arms firmly over her chest. "L-logically I know I don't, but...my body felt weird when you mentioned it."

"Hm, your will needs to be iron-strong, woman," Sesshoumaru nodded sharply to the kitchen, panting. "Go now- hah- hurry."

With that said, he grabbed the key to the house and a coat, pulling open his heavy front door.

"Sesshoumaru-"

Stiffening and freezing on the spot, he glanced at the shuddering woman over one shoulder. Sweat beaded at her temple, but Kagome smiled as though it weren't there, her expression earnest and sincere like always. It made his chest warm. "I'll...miss you."

Disorientated, as though he'd missed a step on the stairs, he could only nod stiffly and step outside, barring her away from himself with the turn of a key.

Do not say such things, he blew out a hot, shaking breath. It only makes me desire you all the more.

He lasted five days. Five days out in the bitter cold, taking shelter beneath tall trees and sulking around in the snow around his cabin like a mad man. The scent of Kouga came and went on the breeze, though he saw no trace of him. Sometimes Sesshoumaru thought he imagined it.

Hunger clawed, a constant companion- and it was nothing that any rabbit nor deer could satisfy. His mouth remained dry no matter how much he tried to slick his thirst with water from an icy river. He'd become hot and cold at random intervals, and the desire to shove his pants down and take himself into his palm came even more frequently. But that wasn't what he wanted.

Sesshoumaru wanted the feathery brush of inky black hair wound tight around his claws. For lithe fingers and soothing hands to smooth over his stripes and long, strong legs to wrap around his waist and tighten to lock them together as he thrust into a slick, welcoming heat.

His lips burned with want of kisses. His skin beaded with sweat for want of a lolling tongue and the hard scrape of punishing teeth. His fangs ached, cock straining now. Blue eyes haunted him, beckoning.

Half crazed with lust and shuddering, Sesshoumaru found himself standing at his front door, snapping the key to one side in the lock and gently letting it glide open with a creak of its hinges.

His shadow loomed long and large within the room. An exquisite, mouth-watering scent saturated the air like heavy fog. Sweet yet smooth and rich, tumbling down his throat like dewy honey.

Sesshoumaru closed the door with a calm he did not feel, before gliding up the old stairs soundlessly.

"..Ah!...Gn...hah…"

He stopped outside his bedroom door, closing a large hand over the cool metal handle. Kagome's noises drowned out all else within his head. All he could hear was her- all he could smell was her. All he desired to see was her. Her scent drugged his senses and hardened his cock, forcing a hiss out from parted lips. He could practically feel her, alone, writhing on the bed. From the small grunts of frustration that occasionally peppered the moans, he could tell her fingers weren't doing enough.

His foot shifted closer- before Sesshoumaru resisted, bracing an arm on the door. This was torture. He needed release. He needed something.

Loosening his constricting pants and shoving them down striped hips, he wrapped a hand around his straining length. Pre-cum beaded on the head. Stroking it sent a spike of pleasure skittering through him.

But he could still smell her, and it egged him on. Every breath brought back those carnal, fraying desires; Burning touches, bruising teeth and power. All that power bursting through him into her, bringing Kagome to the edge and making her shine through dark, lusty clouds. She'd look so fucking beautiful, he just knew it.

"Mnn-ah! Sesshoumaru!"

Golden eyes snapped red. The demon became rigid. He bit down on his bottom lip. Hard.

Wood splintered beneath one of his hands, claws biting into the door. He can feel a thud from the other side like she'd jumped off the bed- and rapid footsteps- her scent looming closer. Her shadow became apparent beneath the door.

A crescent moon brow pressed against his arm and Sesshoumaru decided he must have lost it. Surely Kagome wasn't doing what he thought she was doing and pressing herself against the slab of wood separating them like he was. Hearing her become louder, smelling her, it's more than enough to inspire his hand to move faster. Her moans and presence felt so much more intimate with her closer, fingers no doubt buried deep inside her cunt. Not enough. It must not be enough for her. Sesshoumaru groaned loudly. Shuddering and snarling, he rocked his hips, thrusting needily into his hand. Kagome moaned through the door, seeking something, finding it with him as they let out twin moans of completion, Sesshoumaru cumming into his hand.

He hadn't lasted long, though that didn't strike him as surprising. He couldn't recall when he'd indulged himself. The stickiness coating his fingers was ignored in favour of listening to laboured breathing.

She quivered beyond mere wood and metal, the fragrance of her orgasm mingling with a copper tang of blood. Ah, that was not her blood…

Sesshoumaru peeled aching fangs out from where they'd embedded into the flesh of his arm. Swallowing and panting, he dazedly watched the red substance bead and run free down to his elbow.

Kagome whimpered. "Se-Sesshoumaru...are y-you hurt?"

He couldn't answer, breathing too hard. It took everything inside him not to break and rip through every barrier between them. Take her, bind her, hold her-

"T-this can't go on. I've got to do something. You stay here, I'll be fine. I'll come back once it's over."

He wasn't sure what she meant by that, but the sound of glass shattering was a rude awakening. It sobered him enough to sense her presence drew away from the house, running at an alarming speed.

She shouldn't have run, that was her key mistake.

Running only excited his predatory instincts. Sesshoumaru crushed his door handle beneath his hand in an instant, ripping the door aside and bursting through its threshold.

His room lay empty, as expected. The covered tossed across his bed lay littered with evidence of what she'd been doing. He'd have buried his nose into bloodied sheets if he weren't preoccupied.

Scenting the air, magenta markings lengthened with jagged edges. Crimson eyes flashed. Wicked lips curled up into a wide mockery of a smile. Leaping into chilled air and sailing through a broken window to land on snow-covered ground outside, he hissed out a breath of steam.

Sesshoumaru lifted his head and proceeded to give chase.

Her paw prints were easy to follow in the snow, large and unique.

Sesshoumaru wasn't a demon anymore, nor a person. He was nothing. All he could feel was pure unadulterated desire and hunger. Trees passed in a blur of murky browns, greens and whites. He could hear himself panting, legs pumping. Icy ground kept meeting his hands for some reason. Was he running on all fours? The thought came and went, no more than a mere whisper quickly forgotten. His hair had loosened from its tie to fly free, the sensation of hair dancing from bitter cold breezes feeling soothing on his frayed senses.

Sesshoumaru thrust his nose up into the wind, sniffing. Where was she? Where was the female?

Slamming his claws into snow and digging in, he skidded to a stop, panting hard. Sniffing again to gain his bearings, the demon padded in a different direction, heart slamming into his ribcage. The trail couldn't have gone cold, she hadn't been that far ahead. Where?

His fangs ached painfully, senses straining. A hint of sweetness twined with honey flitted into frigid air- and suddenly he was bolting forward again. Madness seized him, worsening by the second the more it squeezed a tight metal cord around his lungs.

The fusty scent of a wolf joined her scent- and Sesshoumaru inwardly imploded.

A loud snarl echoed, bouncing off tree trunks and resounding through rolling hills. Youki snapped like static around his form, swelling into an inferno. He willed himself to move faster and faster, blind to everything except her.

Bursting through thorny bushes that lashed violently from the force of his body throwing itself through them, the branches parted to reveal a sight that had his breath stilling.

A smaller wolf was circling Kagome, who had mostly transformed- ears laid flat and backing away.

If he'd had time and sense to take stock of the situation, Sesshoumaru might have realised how pitiful the males' attempts at mounting her really were. Like a corgi trying to mate a great dane. No real threat.

He didn't see any of this as his fangs were already embedded deep in the wolf's throat, causing whimpers and pitiful yelps to ring out. Kagome lurched back with a human-sounding cry seconds before powerful jaws closed down- the whimpers turning into a hoarse squeak as its windpipe was broken.

Copper tasting blood coated a rough tongue. The haze cleared from glowing crimson eyes.

"S-sesshoumaru."

She sounded scared.

Leaning his head down while opening bloodied jaws- he dropped the carcass to his paws. Paws…

Sesshoumaru panted wildly, licking at his sticky maw. Realisation dawned like the thrill of burning petals upon bare skin, slowly, then painful at once.

He stepped back shakily on all fours, feeling the swish of his tail and thick silky fur covering his form. Fluffy ears perked and drooped, a whine of distress weeping through his teeth.

Kagome had transformed back into a woman, shielding her naked form loosely and walking closer with concern, raising a hand.

'STAY BACK!'

He jolted and snarled, bearing large teeth and visibly trembling hard. The smell of ash started to reach his nose. Orange flickers of flames registered in his peripheral vision, mere ghosts of the past but bright and real to him.

Kagome stopped, gaining a wounded look upon her face. Sesshoumaru pawed at his leg roughly, willing it to change back to inhuman skin and bone. This couldn't be! He couldn't stand to be in this form! He hated it. He began to grow agitated and desperate when his own youki failed to heed his command, claws now scratching into the fur of his leg.

"Sesshoumaru it's alright-"

Bellowing out a harsh noise, silver hackles rose. 'It is not! This is unacceptable,' he sneered. Red eyes narrowed upon her shivering form. 'Why are you still here? I thought you were leaving?'

"I was only trying to help!" she burst, tears pricking her eyes.

'Just get out of here,' Sesshoumaru spat, more and more memories assaulting his mind by the second. 'Get out...get out, GET OUT!' the inuyoukai snarled, snapping his teeth. 'Leave and do not come back! You only cause me trouble! I never wanted you here in the first place!'

Kagome flinched, stepping back. She then took another, clutching her arms tighter around herself and turning slightly. "Remember to breathe," she murmured thinly, before leaping away and transforming mid-air with a finesse he would've been proud of in the past.

Sesshoumaru watched the black wolf disappear between the trees, closing his eyes and lowering himself to the ground, grappling with warring senses. His instincts demanded he chase the female in heat, the strong, favourable one who was more than his equal- but everything else hurt. Pain exploded behind closed lids. How could he think of more pups when he could remember holding the small, ashen weight of Koji in his hands?

As the world turned on its axis and he fought not to shamefully cry out and betray his roots as a Daiyoukai, a gentle voice brushed through his mind.

'Remember to breathe.'

Such a small action felt impossible, but he slowly locked his jaws tight together and started breathing through his nose. In and out. Inhale and exhale. Slowly, hold it- release. Claws dug into snowy ground. Fur shuddered. Burning lungs recovered at a steady pace as he began inhaling through his nose then out through his mouth.

Groaning lowly, Sesshoumaru caught his breath. Tired lids peeled open. Instead of heat, he felt doused in cold. Bereft.

Standing on two trembling legs like a newborn fawn, silver hair lashed around him from a breeze that carried Kagome's fading scent. Bare skin pricked. Exhaling a visible breath, Sesshoumaru began to shakily walk back the way he'd come.

He felt burned out. Worn thin. It had been around five centuries since his last real transformation.

The more steps he took, the more strength and control returned, and Sesshoumaru summoned pure white energy to his body, cloaking his nude form in warmth. Flying through the air as a large speeding orb, he returned to the hollow comforts of home alone.

Patching up his broken bedroom window and covering it over to keep the cold out, Sesshoumaru dryly observed that at least his house wouldn't suffer any more damages with her gone.

Sitting down in the worn armchair that smelled of Kagome, he set both hands on the armrests and glanced around.

Had it… always been so quiet?

Frowning to himself, Sesshoumaru drummed his fingers against the leather. He stayed like this for a total of two agonising minutes before pushing off from the chair and grabbing a book.

It had been like this before she'd come, if he recalled right. He'd used to lie in the dark for hours sometimes, listening to pure silence, unable to turn his brain off. So he read. It took him away to far off worlds, and eventually his mind would quiet enough that he'd sleep. Routine had helped. Simple work that kept his hands busy; and so he'd worked on the cabin, over and over again.

I wonder if she's alright, he thought, eyes glued to a passage. Had he turned the page once yet? Sesshoumaru shook himself, trying to read on.

It wasn't as though he'd been heading there with the intent to help her. She was safer away from him too.

Sesshoumaru shut the book with an audible noise, pushing it back into place on the shelf. Clearly that wasn't working.

Music? No, that reminded him of her.

Ah, he knew just the thing.

Sesshoumaru filled the fireplace, loading it full with wood. Setting it alight, he took a seat before the flickering flames, watching with rapt attention. The fire kept him in a strange state of Limbo. It reminded him of the night he'd lost everything. Despite that, in an odd way it had become a comfort, the only warmth available to him for hundreds of years.

He didn't feel empty though right then, nothing like a man suspended in a monotonous routine as he'd used to be. He felt wide awake and unable to be pacified into the fog of numb regret.

She was out there alone, perhaps fending herself off from unwanted attention.

Sesshoumaru squeezed his eyes shut.

That small wolf hadn't been a demon or werewolf, just a regular brown animal. What had it been doing there, sniffing at her?

Gritting his teeth, clawed fingers bit into his ankles.

Just breathe. Forget her. Sleep. Dream-

"Are you OK? You look like you're going to throw up."

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes, confusion knitting his brow. This memory…was it real? He couldn't recall her ever saying that to him before. Slowly lulling himself back into a peaceful, empty place, the snapped strings of forgotten conversations wove back together.

Kagome stood in the doorway to his room, skinny. The shirt she'd worn on her second night there barely hid her thin willowy frame, blue eyes were slightly wide. "Was it a nightmare?"

His hand lifted slightly, and she moved closer to take it. Once Kagome was in range, however, that hand grasped her wrist in a flash. With a yank and a yelp, the woman landed atop him, nose bumping his.

"S-Sesshoumaru," she said thinly, blue eyes widening upon looking up. "I-I think you're still half asleep. I should go back to my bed-"

"Stay."

"What?"

His voice shuddered, arms locking tight around her. "Stay….do not leave."

Kagome stiffened, shifting atop his chest. Gazing at him and seeming to note the trembling in his limbs, she gentled. A hesitant hand found silver bangs, combing through them gently and straying to a striped cheek.

She was lost to his hazy sight as long lashes fluttered shut. With a rumbling noise of pleasure, Sesshoumaru tipped his head into the soft, comforting touch, feeling starved of it. She kindly indulged him. Keeping up her gentle caresses, she shifted closer when he continued shuddering. Tucking her head beneath his chin and splaying her body over his, Kagome's protective pose instinctively soothed his battle-worn nerves, allowing the Daiyoukai to slip into a blissful sleep.

Safe.

Sesshoumaru frowned, but that wasn't the end of it. He could recall vague snippets now, like how he'd been moving through the house at ungodly hours in the morning for some reason. Kagome had been laying secure and comfy within her next of furs in the living room and he-

Golden eyes widened.

She started and stared up at him, sighing quietly and peeling back the lush bedding. "Oh boy, you sleepwalk now?"

He'd been unresponsive, except for reaching down and unceremoniously picking her up, holding her against him.

"Hey! What are you doing!" Kagome squeaked. "Last night was all very well and good but that can't happen again, hey are you listening?! Gahh I guess not," she tried wriggling, finding it useless as he turned and began walking back upstairs with his precious cargo. Kagome valiantly kept struggling, sighing and resting her head against his shoulder. "I don't mind but you certainly will in the morning. You sure you still wanna snuggle?"

His sleep induced state seemed very much in favour of this, pushing open the door with his foot and placing her on the bed.

Kagome heaved another sigh but smiled and wrapped her arms around him willingly for another night of warmth and closeness.

It seemed that no matter what he'd tried by day, Sesshoumaru by night thwarted easily. It was he who had turned the locks open to his bedroom, walking downstairs yet again in search of that sweet scent and those kind hands.

Every night his body had arisen as though possessed, wandering in search of something inexplicable. It didn't have to wander far. Eventually, Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck while he carried her up the stairs in his dreaming state. Hot breath tickled his neck as she giggled lightly.

"Alright," she murmured into a pointed ear. "You win."

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes and stared at the flickering flames in the hearth. All that time. All those nights spent together had been out of kindness. What's more, she'd let him maintain his pride, not breathed a word of it. He winced upon remembering how he'd reprimanded her for sleeping next to him.

You're a singular woman, Kagome, he thought, lashes lowering as his lips curved into a rueful half-smirk.

He was such a fool. The worst. He'd really let a woman in heat just run off on her own when a wolf demon was out there looking for a quick rut. What was he doing? He was wasting time. It wasn't her fault he'd transformed, she couldn't help her heat. More than anything, Kagome's existence was precious to him- something to be protected and cherished.

Coiling youki around him, Sesshoumaru stood.

I'm coming. Forgive me for the delay, but I am on my way, Kagome.

Short claws lengthened. Hold on until then.

With a burst of speed, he blurred through the air and into his basement, pulling aside a few old boxes and lifting out a black lacquer case, opening it.

His palm ran over exquisitely soft, red and white silks nostalgically- grasping them tight and lifting them out.