"What?" Ryder exclaimed.
Her eyes cast about the mess hall, suddenly realising she was being loud. Williams' eyebrows rose, her head lifted in a silent question. Ryder shook her head and turned her attention back to Scott. "Did I hear that right?" she asked. "An AI?"
"Your ears work fine, Sara."
She took a deep breath and exhaled. A hand scrubbed her face harshly. She hadn't been sleeping much since Zesmeni. Though it wasn't really her job, with the discovery of the Cerberus shuttle on Zesmeni, she took it upon herself to work the intel. It owed it to every single person who didn't make it off Janus to get that fucking artifact back. Even if she couldn't retrieve it personally, she didn't want Cerberus to have it.
And now Scott called her with this news. She squeezed the bridge of her nose.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
Scott frowned. "Of course I'm sure. What the fuck did you take me for?"
Ryder waved her hand in apology. "It's just… If he was truly meddling with an AI, he would have gotten into trouble with the Alliance by now."
"Pa has quit."
"What!"
This time Ryder stood abruptly. Her chair scratched against the floor. All eyes turned to her. Ramírez and Alenko shot her curious looks. She reddened and walked away in search of a secluded corner. What Scott said must be true then. There was no reason why their father would ever quit the Alliance. He was the dictionary definition of a lifer.
"When did this happened? Did he tell you?" she hissed into her omni-tool.
"He didn't tell me. I've heard about it after my transfer to the Citadel. One of my CO was practically taunting me about it," he replied softly, his eyes looking everywhere else but at her.
Ryder stopped. She looked intently into her omni-tool, trying to meet her brother's eyes. These signs were familiar. "What happened?" she whispered, something must have gone wrong. "What did you do?"
Scott grimaced. "How is it that you know such things?"
She shook her head and repeated. "What did you do? Did you punch your CO?"
He sighed, his hand rubbing his forehead as he nodded.
"Fuck, Scott. Are you getting court martial?"
He grimaced but shook his head. "It didn't happen on base. I was out having drinks and well…" He shrugged eloquently.
"So another thing swept under the rug by the Ryder name?"
"I guess Pa still have some pull but that's not the point."
"What is the point, Scott? Pa playing with some AI? Him quitting the Alliance? What is it?" Ryder asked. The lack of sleep and stress of the news was getting to her.
"Yeah I'm pissed that Pa's extracurricular activities got me shit-canned. This posting on Citadel must have been related. I'm sure about that. But Pa said this will help Ma. She don't have to die. AEND doesn't have to be terminal." Hope, thin and threadbare as this was crept into his voice. Scott's grin was infectious.
Ryder could feel herself giving in to the tantalising hope that he dangled in front of her.
Can it be true? Ma can be cured? But an AI? How does that even work?
She took a deep breath.
What's wrong with a little hope? Pa loves her, he will fight like hell to save her. Any one of us would. He isn't made of stone. He cares for her. Maybe this will work?
Lifting her eyes to meet her brother's, she smiled. "What are the details?"
Shepard stifled a yawn. It wouldn't do for the crew to see her this tired. She glanced at the chronometer on her omni-tool. It was way past midnight. Shift C was just starting up and she really should go to bed. She had to be up in less than eight hours. Chakwas wouldn't be happy to know she was still working.
She kneaded her brow with her hand, trying to ease the tension there. Zesmeni had caught her by surprise. Cerberus, not geth, seemed to be dogging her steps for a long time. And they were not letting up. Taking the prothean artifact from Janus was par for the course when it came to Cerberus. But this time the Normandy had a chance to putting things to right. Not coming in at the end after the dust had settled, the innocent all dead and simply mopping up the assholes. She relished having the chance to pay them back for all the shit they had done.
Shepard knew her hands were bloody but it was by no means as red as the ones Cerberus had. Memories of a city slowly decaying, ruled by gangs and blood flashed across her mind. She rubbed her eyes. "I must be fucking tired," she muttered.
As she stepped into the mess, intent on getting her dinner since she missed it earlier, she paused when she saw baby Ryder sitting alone.
"Why are you up?" she called out. "You're on Shift A."
Ryder jerked her head up as if caught doing something she shouldn't. She narrowed her eyes at the Corporal as a grin took up residence on her lips. It was just too easy with baby Ryder. She was so serious, so straight forward.
"Commander, I was just looking through something," she said as she hastily stood up.
"Sit down, since you're here, you can eat with me," Shepard said, gesturing at the table.
Ryder nodded and took her seat again.
"Beef and noodles, fish and rice, chicken and potato, tofu burger," she muttered under her breath as she looked at the available selections on the food dispenser. "Any of these good?"
Baby Ryder shrugged. "I've tried the fish one. It wasn't that bad. But the chicken one is the worst."
Shepard's eyebrow rose and stabbed the chicken option. Ryder gaped at her. "Why did you pick that?"
"What most people thinks is the worst is usually my favourite."
Ryder's brows rose incredulously. With the reconstituted food goo in hand, Shepard slid into the seat opposite Ryder and she tucked in. Ryder couldn't take her eyes off her. Curiosity had taken hold. Shepard made exaggerated noises of satisfaction as she ate. The Corporal shuddered as she grimaced. Shepard laughed.
Ryder turned her attention back to the datapad in her hand. Her eyes darted across the pad in a steady pace. Left to right and down, then rinsed and repeated. A frown was steadily tugged against her brow.
Shepard dropped her spoon back into the bowl with a clack. "What are you reading?"
Ryder pursed her lips as she pushed the datapad towards her. She glanced down and scanned the document. There were a few key words that stood out. "AI" being the first and "Alec Ryder" being the second.
"Your father has been developing an AI?" she asked carefully.
Ryder grimaced and nodded. She held herself stiff as if waiting for a blow. She blinked blankly for a moment when it didn't come. "Are you not going to say something against AIs?"
She shrugged. "What am I supposed to say about them?"
"That they are bad, that they are illegal, that the Ryder name is getting flushed down the toilet."
Shepard straightened and looked at Ryder, really looked. The dark rings around her eyes were not getting any better. The crease between her brow at the grand old age of 20 looked like it was going to stay for good. The taut tension that ran through her neck and shoulders screamed of stress.
"Look, baby Ryder, AIs are dangerous but they are no more dangerous than you or I," she said as she braced her forearms against the table. "They are always going to be the creations of organics. So effectively we are their parents. In this case, Ryder, your father, is their parent. If he treated them fairly, teach them right from wrong, there is no reason to think they would turn out like the geth."
Baby Ryder snorted, derision filled the sound. "My father isn't the best around."
"I've gathered but who is perfect? You don't get to pick who your father is, you can only make the best of the situation. I mean who am I to say? I have no family of my own so maybe I am not the best judge of such things."
Ryder reddened, her mouth opened and closed as if speaking was beyond her at the moment. Shepard grinned. "It's fine. You can't miss what you never have right?"
"Still, Commander. I'm sorry. I didn't meant to be digging into your past like this."
"It's fine. Anyway about the AI, yes I'm sure it isn't welcome news for the Alliance. Your father has to tread carefully. But fearing an AI for the sake of it being an AI, that's just stupid. And no different from what others see in us, biotics."
Ryder nodded. "Yeah, my father has quit."
She cocked her head. "Never thought I'll see the day. Ryder is Alliance to the bone."
"It's probably untenable. It has already taken my brother's position on Arcturus Station. Though he is angry but he is pinning his hope that this AI can help cure our mother's disease," Ryder said as she rubbed her face. "I hope you don't mind having a Ryder on board the Normandy."
Shepard frowned, folding her arms across her chest. Ryder sobered up immediately. "Sorry I was just making a—"
"Ryder," she said, interjecting over the Corporal's hasty attempts at an apology. "Shut up."
Fresh-faced and oh-so-fucking-serious Sara Ryder clamped her lips shut, pressing them into a thin line. Shepard resisted the urge to smirk. "Look, I am not in the habit of caring about what others think or do. I requested you to join the Normandy because I think you have potential."
Ryder blinked owlishly back at her.
How much more clearly must I spell it out for her?
"I don't simply ask people to join my crew for the fun of it. I demand the best from everyone here so I only settle for the best. You are merely at groping at the edges of what you are capable of. I tend to apply you to the task at hand like the asset you are."
She stood and reached across the table. Her hand pressed firmly against Ryder's shoulder. "Get some sleep, shift starts in less than eight hours. I don't want to see a single yawn from you," she said. "We have bigger quarry to chase than your father and his AI."
Weeks passed like days. Ryder spoke to Scott as often as she could. Private conversations with family rate low on the comm buoy queues on an active warship. So chances for a face-to-face conversation were few and far between. Mail slung across dark space was the best she could do.
Scott settled in at his new posting. His CO never failed to needle at him. The assault was a sore point for both of them. Ryder feared the situation for Scott would come to a head eventually. He had never faced the black stain of a stigma clinging to him like a bad smell before. He might be familiar with the bullying she faced back in school but only in an academic sense. With the Ryder name as corrosive as it was now, and their father's AI activities made known, it was no wonder he was getting such treatment. There would always be people who wanted to toe the party line in the loudest way possible.
Ryder blinked as she read Scott's latest mail. Apparently, their father had been at this for a long time, leaning on his contacts to hurry the process along. Desperation laced through the laundry list of things he had done so far.
Pa, what other secrets are you keeping?
All those time she assumed he had been hiding in his work room wasn't just hiding. He had been working on the AI. An entity he was willing to spend more time with than his own family, the living breathing one.
She grunted, mentally shoving the old emotions away. Hand running over her face and tugging her hair tie loose, brown hair fell loose. The tension eased a little but it still stung.
But if this helps Ma…
Ryder turned her attention back to the mail. It had gone from complaining about the latest slights he suffered to news from home. Despite medication keeping the worst of her mother's symptoms at bay, she spent more and more time drifting and confused than lucid.
"Ma has been admitted into long term hospice care. I will be in touch with the doctors."
Those words pulsed, burning into her retinas, even as she squeezed her eyes shut. Everything was fine just fucking weeks ago!
She stood. Wincing as the chair screeched across the floor. Solarin raised an eyebrow at her. She shook her head and left the crew quarters. They didn't need to hear her frequent sighs and muffled grunts. Her feet moved in sharp and jerky motions towards the cargo bay. She was too keyed up for sleep, had too much pent energy to relax. It was a mistake to read Scott's message before sleeping. It never went well. She was frustrated, tension thrumming under her skin. Again, she was too far away to be there for her mother, too far away to help in any way, shape or form.
The cargo bay wasn't empty. Familiar red hair flashed under the harsh white lights. Crates were arrayed in a ring again. Ryder sighed, her plans thwarted she turned to go. Maybe a cold shower will help.
"Ryder."
She spun.
Shepard was wiping sweat off her face with a towel hanging over her neck. A pair of green eyes regarded her before narrowing a little. "Spar. Now," she called.
Without waiting, Shepard turned back to the ring, popping a can of sugary energy drink open and draining it.
Ryder lingered at the threshold.
"Now, Ryder."
The bite of command unmistakable in Shepard's voice. She needed no further prodding. Ryder shed her outer coat, leaving her in a white Alliance tank top and her uniform pants. Shepard rolled her shoulders and worked her neck from side to side.
"Hand to hand, no biotics."
Ryder nodded. "Give me a sec to warm up."
"By all means."
She went through the motions, jumping and running quickly on the spot to get her heart pumping, stretching and pulling her muscles. Shepard's eyes were a constant pressure. It wasn't the unwelcome gaze like Melnik's but it was uncomfortable, intimidating. The back of her shoulder blades itched. The glint in Shepard's eyes was almost feral.
Ryder stood slowly, her hands pulling her hair into a tighter ponytail. Maybe it was the paper thin mask she had over her face, maybe she just reeked of weakness and vulnerability, either way she knew this was no ordinary sparring session.
"Ready?" Shepard asked.
Ryder nodded, green eyes meeting brown. A thrill ran down her spine as she clenched her fists. There was no signal, no starting gun. It felt almost like their minds linked telepathically.
Bodies surged into action, fists drawn back, legs pumping as they launched towards each other.
She roared a loud battle cry as she swung her fist, her left leading. She was confident in her hand to hand skills, she was after all trained by the one and only Alec Ryder, N7 and Alliance to the bone.
Shepard's red braid swung as she stepped out of the way of her first punch. An infuriating smirk perched on her lips. Before Ryder could growl in frustration, Shepard launched her counter attack. Her left fist snapping out, lightning quick. "Fancy meeting another southpaw here," she said.
Ryder bared her teeth in defiance, a weak attempt to hide her surprise.
"Come on, is that all you got?" Shepard taunted.
She danced away, keeping out of Shepard's reach. Both of them were of similar height, but Shepard was built more solidly than she was. Muscles corded and trained for combat in a way she wasn't. Reflexes and experience counted a great deal in the ring.
"Stop running and fight," Shepard snarled.
Ryder gritted her teeth and giving in to her frustration. She darted in close, taking blow against her ribs as she aimed a punch against Shepard's chin. A grunt of surprise and the Commander twisted to avoid it. There was no room. Ryder's knuckles caught Shepard's mouth in a glancing blow. She rocked backwards.
"I'm not running anymore!" Ryder spat, grinning as she saw the blow had split Shepard's lip.
"You satisfied with just giving me a fat lip?" Shepard asked, chin lifted. "You can do better than that."
Ryder's impotence over her mother's health, her brother's dead end Alliance career and her father's single mindedness boiled over. Fists flew, feet stomped, control frayed. It was unconscious, the drawing on of her innate biotics. The buzzing of her skin boiled over.
Blue flames blazed as she slammed her fist against Shepard. Ryder gasped as she realised what she had done. Before fist could come into contact with flesh, Shepard twisted her hand in a familiar mnemonic. A shimmering Barrier erupted around her. Their fields mingled and negated each other. Ryder staggered as impact blasted outwards.
"Commander," she started. "I…"
Shepard wiped the blood from her mouth. "It's fine. I've asked for it. I practically smashed your buttons."
Ryder exhaled, tension finally eased from her shoulders. Adrenaline unspent left her feeling jittery and shaky.
"Catch," Shepard tossed a bottle of water at her.
She caught it easily one handed. The cool water albeit recycled and filtered was refreshing. It hit her mouth and down her throat quenching the heat within. As she straightened, she found Shepard regarding her once again. This time it was a gaze gentled, almost protective.
"Want to talk about it?"
It was an open door. One that Ryder recognised that rarely opened for anyone, not this way. She was at once humbled and surprised. A shuddering breath rattled its way out of her lungs. Shepard walked over a hand lifted and hovering just over Ryder's shoulder. The confident and fearless commander looked awkward in that moment before she pressed a hand on her shoulder. The touch was warm, the way biotics tended to run but it was solid and present. It was there in a way nothing else in Ryder's life was. Shepard squeezed her shoulder once quickly before withdrawing, as if afraid it was unwelcome.
Ryder lifted her head to return the gaze. She nodded. "Yeah, I think I need to."