"Scott," Ryder greeted. "What's this about Andromeda? Ma was telling me about it?"
Shepard had lifted the usual comm rules. They were orbiting one of the Alliance's high speed comm buoys. It was the last chance for everyone to call home before they go dark for the final push to Omega. Going to Omega was risky, and riskier for an Alliance ship to pop up on their detection systems. Ryder had made a quick call to her mother. Worries and anxiety fluttering against her mind after finding out her mother's cough had worsened. A quick chat with her doctors revealed nothing favourable. Her mood was already sour when she called her brother.
"Yes, that's right!" Scott was excited. Gone was his constant dissatisfaction at his new posting, his new CO and his stagnant career. He was actually eager. "You should have called earlier. I wanted to tell you all about it."
"You could have called too, you know?"
"Yeah but putting a call to the Normandy, a fucking warship isn't particularly easy."
Ryder shrugged, conceding his point. "So what's this about?"
"It's a privately funded one way trip to the Heleus Cluster."
She blinked. "One way?"
"Yes, I mean the trip is supposed to take 600 light years. So yes, this is going to be a one way trip. We're going to go be first true colonists in generations, ground breakers and explorers."
"But what about Ma? What about Pa?"
"This was why Pa has the funding and technical help to work on the AI. He is calling it SAM, it stands for Simulated Adaptive Matrix. It's a brand new paradigm. He was working off Ma's work of the biotic neural implants, adapting it so that human and AI can truly be one."
Scott droned on and on, but all Ryder heard was how this exciting new thing had came into his life, and he was finally going to be able to prove his worth.
"With this, Ma can be cryogenically frozen. And with 600 light years, the AI can search for a cure for AEND. When we get to the other side, Ma can get cured," Scott gasped. "Pa has been working for the Initiative on the side for a while now and with his resignation from the Alliance, he can work on SAM full time and prep for his duties. He has been designated at the human Pathfinder. There will be—"
"Scott."
"The quarian ark is carrying the quarians of course, along with the drells—"
"Scott."
"And we have a place in all this too. I intend to go apply for the Pathfinder team. We can be—"
"Scott!"
He stared at her. His eyes widened in surprise. Ryder was beyond furious, her brows pressed together in a frown to deep it looked like it was craved into her face. "Do you hear what you're saying? Leaving every single thing we know here for an unknown future in Andromeda? For what? For the fucking harebrained idea that somehow this will cure Ma? Do you hear what you're saying?"
Ryder was up on her feet, pacing. A hand gripped her shoulder, she spun and found Chakwas looking at her. She glanced around and realised everyone was staring at her. Her voice had carried. She grimaced.
"Follow me," Chakwas said, beckoning her into the med-bay.
"Give me a second," she growled into her omni-tool before muting it. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so loud. I—"
The doctor shook her head, graceful and poised. She pointed to the door at the end of the darkened med-bay. "You can have some privacy in there."
Ryder nodded her thanks and hurried in. Before the door shut properly, she unmuted her omni-tool. "We're throwing away all of our todays for a tomorrow that's unknowable. Have you even thought of asking me what I want? Or Ma? What does she want?"
Scott's jaw was tight. She could see his pulse throbbing against his temple. His eyes were averted from the screen.
"What the fuck are you thinking?" she demanded
He squeezed his eyes shut as before opening them again, but Ryder was too pissed off to see the signs. "Talk to me, Scott."
"Sara," he growled. Her name came out like a curse. "I was thinking about our mother. I was thinking about a fucking cure."
"A cure?" She threw her arms up in the air. "This is just a possibility of a cure."
"Yeah sure, a possibility. Over what? The certainty of death here. AEND is terminal!"
"I know!"
The Ryders twins eyed each other via their comms. Both of them chests heaving and jaws clenched.
This is getting nowhere.
Ryder took a couple of deliberate deep breaths. The anger was a raging inferno in the pit of her stomach, it wasn't going to go away with a few deep breaths. She clenched her free hand and lifted it. It was so tempting to just bring it down onto something in the room. She didn't even know where she was, everything looked expensive and important.
I'm a fucking an adult. I will not scream, I will not shout. I can fucking communicate with my brother.
Her jaw ached from the intensity she was clenching it. Brown eyes found hers when she lifted them. They mirrored hers. Anger, frustration and more than that it was the overwhelming sense that time was running out. She could feel it in her bones. They were fast approaching the cliff's edge for their mother's condition.
"What about Ma?" Her voice was rough, but she managed not to shout. "What does she think about this?"
Scott's jaw twitched as he looked away. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "I haven't had a chance to speak to her about it."
She nodded, she had expected as much. Scott would have dived head first into the research. That was how he was. That's how he learn so much about AEND, through hounding doctors and reading everything he could get his hands on.
"All right, what about Pa?" Hands running through her hair as she tugged at stray strands. "I mean he would have talked to her about his new job, right?"
The question hung in the air. The longer Scott kept silent, the lower her heart sank. "He hadn't spoken to her, had he?" Bitterness tinged every word out of her mouth. "He decided he knew what she would want, didn't he? He is going to take the last bit of agency she has, isn't he?"
With every question, her voice rose. "Fuck Scott!" Her previous resolve was thrown out of the airlock as she spat.
"Damn it, this is a cure! The possibility of one!"
"That's not the point, you fucking know that, Scott. I might be mad about this entire plan, but I'm livid about the way you and Pa had treated Ma. When the fuck are you gong to tell her? When she wakes up in Andromeda? Is that it?"
"We're going to tell, I swear!"
"Forget it. I was going to ask you if you're going to quit the Alliance, but it seems your mind is made up. I guess you didn't want to know what I think anyway."
"Fuck, Sara. It's not like you're letting me know, are you? It's always you, you, you! You left me to deal with everything. You ran. You have no right to speak to me this way. I'm your fucking older brother."
Words failed Sara. She blinked. Anger stole her speech, it had made her see nothing but red. The buzzing across her skin intensified. It was so easy to let it come through, just a tiny bit. Blue burst across her skin. She saw the surprise in Scott's eyes. He flinched, tipping her view of his face.
"If I can't have a civilised conversation with you, then I consider this conversation over. You don't have to threaten me."
A retort hovered at the tip of her tongue when the screen turned black. Scott had terminated the connection. Ryder growled low and feral at the back of her throat. Her frustration had nowhere to go but inside.
"12 seconds do not fucking make you an older brother," she hissed through clenched teeth.
Omega hovered into view. "The IES is activated?" Shepard asked.
Joker frowned so hard she could hear it. "Commander, this isn't exactly my first rodeo. I was there when we stole the Normandy remembered?"
Williams chuckled. "He got you there, Skipper."
"I'm just checking. Can't a girl check to make sure we're not going to all get blown up?" she mock growled.
"Yeah, yeah, you're getting senile, admit it." Joker teased.
"You're like a year younger than I am, how does this make me senile?"
"The Skipper's got a point," Williams pointed out.
"What is this? Am I being attacked? You come onto my bridge and attack the Alliance's best pilot. What is this? I'm wounded."
They shared a laugh as the door hissed open. Shepard turned and saw Alenko entering. Their eyes met, there was hurt and confusion in them, but it was all quickly masked as he reshuffled his features to display a polite professional look on. It's the same one she had. She had been living with it more on than off recently. Averting her eyes, she pretended to check something on her omni-tool.
"What is it?"
"Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta have all assembled in the briefing room. We're just waiting on you, Shepard."
She nodded. "All right, time to get the show on the road."
"Good talk, Shepard. Don't forget what our frequency is. Cause you know you'll need me to come get you."
She rolled her eyes. "Just don't get spotted. IES isn't going to stop someone looking out the damn window."
Joker waved them off without looking back.
Just as she was about to enter the briefing room, Chakwas waved her down. "Go ahead," she jerked her head towards Williams and Alenko.
Williams nodded and nudged Alenko along who was hanging back. "Say LT, do you think the Skipper's going to give us some shore leave over on Omega? I always wanted to visit. I hear you can get some crazy mods there."
Shepard watched as Alenko tried to turn, but Williams dragged him away. She swallowed her sigh. I will talk to him. I've got to. This is just killing both of us.
When she turned back to face Chakwas, there was a look on the doctor's face. Shepard chewed on her tongue, deciding that she'd be a coward and pretend she didn't see it, lots of pretending recently. "What is it?"
"I recommend Ryder be taken off this mission."
Shepard blinked. Of all things Chakwas could have flagged her down for, this was the last thing she had expected. Baby Ryder had been integrating well with the rest especially after Williams took her under her wing. There was something going on with Ryder, but whatever it was she had kept it well under wraps and in control. Her fire team has been gelling well with the rest too.
"What's the problem?"
"She was shouting earlier at the omni-tool earlier today."
"Some nasty boyfriend or girlfriend maybe?"
Chakwas shook her head. "She wasn't exactly quiet about it, but I don't think it's a lover or partner. Regardless, she needed somewhere private to talk so I let her use Liara's old room."
Shepard nodded, rolling her left shoulder. It was aching again. An old injury that always gave her problems, now it had gotten worse after the battle with Saran on the Citadel.
"When she exited, she was all red-faced and quiet. I don't know if she is in the right emotional space to do her job."
Shepard sighed. Chakwas had the power to yank anyone from her team if she thought they weren't medically sound. This wasn't a physical injury, and Ryder hadn't showed any serious mental issues from the events of Janus. Chakwas might just be overly cautious, but Shepard trusted the doctor's instincts.
The mission's purpose was two fold. It was in part retrieving the Prothean artifact, the other was to give Ryder a chance to lay her ghosts to rest. The way her tour of duty on Janus had ended was brutal. Shepard knew how it felt to be one of the few to walk away from a bad situation. If she could give Ryder some kind of closure, she'd like to do it. This put a monkey wrench into her plans.
"Did she come to you about that? Did she say she couldn't do it or that she wanted to sit this one out?"
Chakwas shook her head. "Physically she is well to go. It's her mental space that I'm worried about."
"Are you going to ground her?"
The silver hair doctor folded her arms across her chest. She considered the question but eventually concluded, "No. But I thought you should know."
"Thanks for letting me know," she turned to go only to have Chakwas called out again.
"Shepard, I know you've been burning the candle on both ends. You can afford to take it easy for a while. We've got Saren."
Shepard stiffened. Was it that obvious? Words of nameless fears crowded her mouth. Lips pressed thin like if she had opened her mouth, it would all spill forth. Time was ticking away. The undeniable wrench of her gut told her so but to voice it was crazy. A gut feeling wasn't going to fly with Chakwas or anyone else. She grunted, forcibly swallowing her words.
"Doc, you shouldn't let anyone know about your mind reading powers. It's creepy."
"It's not mind reading if it's just keeping my eyes open," Chakwas said, answering her unspoken question. "I observe you more than most."
She snorted. "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."
"Karin," Chakwas said. "I think we're past last names given how many times I've stitched you back up."
"Are you hitting on me, Karin?"
Chakwas laughed, the noise she made was as elegant and clear. "No, I am not Commander."
"Riley. That's my name."
The doctor's eyes brightened. "Riley, take care of yourself."
"I will. Meanwhile I have a Prothean artifact to retrieve."
"Of course, don't let me keep you."
Ryder checked her gear. The Mattock was oiled. She had cleaned it the day before. Its magazine fresh and full, she slammed it back into the rifle and holstered it. It snapped home with a satisfying click. The Carnifex went into her left thigh holster and finally she rounded out her entire load out with a shotgun. The Katana felt heavier than what she was used to, but she'd make do. Spare magazines were strapped into utility pockets. The spare rations and water that Shepard had insisted on joined them. In all, she had added a good 20 kilograms to her own body, but with the armour's exoskeleton, it didn't feel that way.
Ryder turned to the others. They were all seeing to their own gear. Teo helping Díaz with his buckles while Solarin was checking on her drones. Everyone had their head in the game and it was as it should be. Omega wasn't going to be a walk in the park. Secrecy was the order for the day. They were here on a Spectre's authority not the Alliance's.
Shepard was set as well, her hair banded up in a braid and tucked into the back of her armour. All that was left was to put the helmet on and she'd be as faceless as someone with the telltale N7 logo emblazoned across their armour could be.
Shepard's emerald gaze caught her mundane brown ones. Their eyes locked. It held a question. Shepard had caught her after the briefing. Chakwas had spoken to her and Ryder was going to lose her spot in the mission if she couldn't convince Shepard she could do her job.
Shepard didn't asked about her problem. She had but one question. "Can you do your job?"
And rightly so, Ryder was supposed to be a professional. She had trained for this. The Commander couldn't be writing her an excuse note because she had a fucking argument with their brother. This wasn't school. This was the Alliance and she was a soldier, trained by Alec Ryder himself no less.
There was only one answer she could give. "Yes. I can." I will, I must.
It was an out. Shepard had told her as much, there was no shame walking away from this mission. If her head wasn't screwed in right, she'd make mistakes. Lives were at stake here. This was a mission not a stroll in the park. She couldn't let her team down, not just the team she had now but the ones dead and gone as well. I won't let them down. I refuse
She nodded at her Commander's unspoken question. Shepard seemed satisfied and turned back to check on her team.
The ride to Omega on the shuttle was nerve wrecking. There weren't enough shuttles so they had to do it in two trips. Shepard's Alpha team and her own Delta took the first shuttle down. The LT's Bravo and Williams' Charlie would take the second. Their job was clear. Ryder's job was to support Shepard's team. The safe house wasn't large, but Omega and its warrens was vast and complicated. Cerberus would not be allowed to escape with the artifact a second time. Her team was the decoy, keeping the defenders' attention while Alpha entered the lair. Bravo and Charlie would set up a perimeter to prevent the rats from running.
Simple enough.
The shuttle had a ghost registration ID. One that was used to fool the Omega's shoddy port control. It wouldn't have stood up to scrutiny so they had to leave before anyone thought to look closely.
Shepard pulled her helmet on. Ryder followed suit. With a quick twist, it sealed against her armour. Omega had breathable air, but with the myriad of Red Sand cookhouses, eezo mining going on and pollution made the air near unbearable especially at the outskirts, which was where they were heading.
Ryder drummed her fingers against her thigh while Shepard's leg bounced. The Commander's eyes never left her omni-tool. Ryder closed her own, resting them in preparation for the mission ahead, but all she found were the echoes of her conversation with Scott. The anger simmered in the pit of her gut, ready to flare at a moment's notice. She grunted and shoved the thoughts to the back of her mind. This was neither the time nor place.
The shuttle shuddered as it landed. It wasn't one of the authorised spots, but that was the point. Nobody was supposed to know. Shepard looked up, her eyes swept over everyone. The slit in her, almost fully opaque, helmet was the only part left that was visibly human.
"Move out."