"Commander."
Shepard paced, heedless that she was practically half naked. She had a datapad in one hand, reading the report and keeping up a continuous string of curses.
"Shepard!"
She jerked to a stop, glaring at the source of interruption. It was Chakwas. They were in her quarters. Her bruised and battered body was making its complaints known, loudly.
"Sit, please," Chakwas sighed, gesturing towards her bed.
Shepard sighed and sank onto it. Chakwas disinfected the cuts and gashes she had collected from the mission silently. Shepard's muscles twitched against the pain, but she forced herself to hold still. Making Chakwas angry was probably a bad idea, her job was hard enough as it was.
The mission was an utter and complete disaster. Shepard couldn't help but replayed the scene in her mind. Baby Ryder's arm reaching out towards them, grenades forced her to take cover, pulling up a barrier to cover her people. By the time the dust had settled, Ryder was fucking gone. She rushed out just in time to see the shuttle zipping off.
Why?
She couldn't get her head around it. Why would Cerberus want Ryder?
Is Hackett in Cerberus' pocket? How far does this go?
Her fingers curled inwards, tightening into a fist.
"Shepard, stop that," Chakwas snapped.
She jerked her eyes up to meet the doctor's. Chakwas' grey eyes were solemn and gentle, "I need you to lift your arms up."
Shepard compiled, squeezing her eyes shut. "How are the others?"
"They are fine. They are resting in the med-bay. I've seen to the others including those with simple bruises and left you the last as you had insisted," Chakwas chided.
Nobody was unscathed, Arashi had the worst of it. Chakwas managed to wrangle him into the med-bay despite his claims of being fine. Williams and her team caught some of the blast, but their injuries were minor, mostly bruises from being knocked about. Ryder's team had scrapped by with some bad lacerations and overly taxed muscles. Díaz was lucky that the bullet hit nothing too important. Ulva was down with a concussion and by all the noises Chakwas was making at her, she probably had one too.
But she was the Commander and the Med-Bay was full. She could just as easily rest in her quarters as she could in the med-bay. Chakwas shot her a look when she suggested it. Both of them knew that was a bald faced lie.
The medi-gel was kicking in, easing the burning across her left shoulder blade and down her side. Most of it were damage from the initial grenade blast. Her pounding head was attempting to convince her that sleep was the best thing now.
"Shepard."
But she couldn't rest yet, she had reports to file and a potential leak in the Alliance High Command. And Ryder, she wasn't willing to give one of her own up for dead, not yet. Reports were already filing in on the Cerberus shuttle. She had to read them. Time was of the essence.
"Shepard!"
"What?" Her voice a harsh growl as she glared at Chakwas.
"Headache?"
Shepard nodded, irritably.
"And obviously that's a delayed response. You did loss consciousness after that blast and that's according to your team's account. Now irritability," Chakwas listed on her fingers. "Check, check, check and check."
Shepard grimaced and looked away. "Sorry. It's just..."
"I get it. I do care about Ryder. We do need to go after her, but you can delegate, Shepard. You're not alone in this," she said, a gentle hand on her shoulder.
Shepard wished she could just lean into it and forget about everything just for a moment. No. The thought was a snarl, snapping at herself. She straightened her spine and winced. Chakwas sighed again and pushed a couple of white tablets into her hand. She popped them into her mouth without hesitation and chased them down with a sip of water.
"All right I'll leave you to it, but I want you in bed and resting after you have delegated."
Shepard attempted a small smile. "Yes mom." It was a shitty one.
Chakwas glowered at her. The door slid open and Alenko was standing at the threshold. "Ahh, right on time Lieutenant. Make sure she rests after you're done."
Shepard frowned as she noticed a flush creeping up Alenko's face. Even the tips of his ears was turning red. He entered and made a beeline to her wardrobe. He fished around for a bit before thrusting one of her multiple N7 hoodies at her.
"Oh." Shepard hadn't realised that she was sitting bare chested with only the bandages to protect her modesty.
Chakwas chuckled and left. Her laughter floated lightly in the air. The moment the door slid shut, the air grew stifled. Shepard swallowed the sigh and slipped her arm into the hoodie. The first sleeve was fine, but the other tugged at the burns. She struggled with it.
"Let me," Alenko's voice was a whisper.
She nodded and he guided the sleeve towards her arm. His fingers ghosted against her skin as he settled the hoodie up her arm and on her shoulder. The barest of contact and she felt guilt welling up in her chest. With a grunt, she shoved it aside. This wasn't time for self pity, this wasn't time for her problems. She had work to do.
"Are you ok?" he asked.
"I'm fine," she replied curtly, shifting to sit on the chair instead of her bed. Keeping her back straight as she didn't dare rest her back against the backrest. Eyes hard, gaze keen, she asked "What's the status?"
"Arashi, Ulva and Díaz will need a little extra time in the med-bay. The others will be put on light duties. I've asked Joker to pull us out of Omega's range."
Shepard nodded. Alenko had things well in hand.
"What happened?" Alenko asked, running his hand through his hair, his only concession towards his frustration. "Why was the intel so wrong?"
That was the question burning in her mind too. She'd like to know as badly as he did. Lieutenant Walker from the Janus debacle had been arrested. She remembered his name when the report crossed her screen. Not dishonourably discharged but arrested. The charges weren't stated on the report, leaving her to guess. It was probably a courtesy report sent her way since she had Ryder assigned to the Normandy. If these were all dots along the same line, she had to be careful. Biting down on her lip, Shepard kept the suspicions to herself. Her green eyes held Kaidan's brown gaze. He met hers head on, open, steadfast and honest.
Kaidan Alenko had no guile. How he had maintained his gentle and kind nature through Brain Camp and his career, she had no clue. But it made him all the stronger and more precious. She trusted him. After everything they had seen and done together, while chasing Saren, she would trust him with her life, but apparently not her heart.
Stop this.
She yanked her thoughts back to the matter at hand. Trust Alenko, she did. But he didn't need to be saddle with this worry, not just yet, not when she had nothing but a gut feel.
"Fucked up intel, what's new?" Shepard shook her head. "Time is of the essence. We have to—"
"I know, Shepard. We'll get her back. We don't leave our own behind," Alenko finished. "You should rest. I'll get the report written up but first I'll have speak to Ryder's parents. They need to be informed if nothing else."
"No."
Alenko blinked at her. "But—"
"No, it's my responsibility. I'll do it. I'm the CO. I'm not going to throw you under the bus here. I'll handle it."
"You should be resting. You have a concussion for crying out loud."
"After," her voice firm as she stood, shifting towards him. "After that, I will."
He didn't budge, his eyes steady on hers.
"I promise."
Alenko sighed and headed towards the door. He hesitated at the threshold, words stuck in his throat. In the end, he ducked his head and left.
Shepard was alone. She ran a hand through her hair and found it all sticking every which way. Her braid loose and crazy, hair grimy with dried sweat and some blood. Grimacing she headed towards the showers to put herself to right. If nothing else, she had to look like she was in control of the situation before she told Alec Ryder his daughter was captured by a terrorist organisation.
Awareness batted against her consciousness. There was a deep throbbing coming from her thigh and her amp. A headache was pounding away behind her eyelids. She clawed her way towards the light, but every inch she fought for, pain rammed up, dread twisted in her chest. It wasn't a gradual transition between awake and not when she reached the light. It was an instant switch. Eyes snapped open, she jerked.
Ryder gasped, dragging mouthful of air into her lungs. "Where…"
Wild eyes darting everywhere. She found nothing of note, but what's clear, she was caged. Her mouth went dry. The only door of the tiny two metres by two metres room had a solid red on its holo-lock. A camera was perched on every corner of the ceiling. She was still in her undersuit, her amour was removed or so damaged it had fallen apart. She suspected the former rather than the latter. Her weapons, all gone.
What about my biotics?
She pulled at her core, but she found it empty.
No.
The constant buzzing under her skin, the nebulous power that set her apart from her brother, the reason her father hated her was gone. It was like someone had transplanted her into a body hers but not at the same time. It was unnerving. She clawed at her amp. The skin it laid under was cold, the amp itself inert.
Maybe I just lack the energy. It'd come back later. I did push myself hard before. That must be it. It has got to be.
Panic clawed at her throat. Her breath shuddered as she wrapped her arms around herself.
Stop, stop, stop.
Ryder squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her hands into fists. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly and deliberately.
Take stock of the situation. You're your best weapon.
Her eyes snapped open and she looked at her legs. The glaring problem was staring her in the face. The gash had punched through her armour and undersuit, though it had stopped bleeding, it still hurt like a bitch. Ryder averted her gaze, looking at her blackened layers of her skin and muscle was making her feel sick. There was nothing that looked particularly clean or appropriate for any kind of first aid so she left it alone. The other was the horrible deep sore centred over her chest. She grimaced as she tugged against the zipper of her undersuit.
"Fucking hell, just—" she muttered under her breath as she struggled with the stuck zipper.
The zipper ripped free, its handle broke clean off between her fingers. "Great, just fucking great," she growled and tossed the broken piece away. The zipper had came as far down as her waist so it wasn't too hard to tug her arms out of the sleeves to see what was up with her chest. As the top half of her suit flopped limply down around her waist, she shivered.
There was nothing between her and the cold air but a pair of black sports bra. A massive bruise covered her chest. Probing with her fingers, the entire area was a deep red, promising to turn into one impressive contusion. Her arms and legs all checked out fine, just a myriad of cuts and nicks, sore muscles and no biotics. Nothing seemed broken, by her less than professional evaluation.
"Not the best situation, but I can work with this," she muttered.
Taking a deep breath, she wiped a hand over her face, attempting to look more alive than she felt, shoring up her crumpling walls.
Next, the cell.
Ryder struggled to her feet, wincing. Her bad leg shook and trembled, but it held. A small trickle of blood oozed from the wound. She braced herself against the wall when her ears pricked up.
Footsteps. They were approaching.
She stiffened. Eyes darting for a hidding spot, but there was none. This was a featureless box, a cage, a cell and she was fucking trapped. Teeth gritted, she waited.
Step by step, they got nearer. Her heart raced and stuttered. She shuffled so that she was pressed to the side of the door, hopefully she could catch whoever it was by surprise, but she noticed movement out of her peripheral vision. The cameras mounted at the corners panned and stopped over on her. They were tracking her.
Her nostrils flared. "Not like this, not like this," she whispered over and over. The tears that had been threatening to spill streamed down her face in earnest. She dashed them away angrily. "No weakness."
The footsteps stopped right outside the door. Ryder waited. The silence was oppressive, a weight pressing down on her shoulders.
A voice called out. "Stand in the middle of the cell." It was the Operative.
Her jaw tightened, but she refused to move.
"Don't make me come in to make you to do it," the Operative barked. "Stand in the middle of the cell!"
Her legs shifted involuntarily in response to the bite of command. Pain lanced up her bad leg and she fell. She yelped and pressed her hands onto wound. Agnoy raced through her nerves, lighting them on fire.
"Fucking hell," the Operative spat.
The holo-lock cycled and the door slid open. They were dressed in a Cerberus uniform, combat boots, well worn tough pants and a t-shirt with ripped sleeves. A cap complete with the Cerberus logo covered their head and a pair of visor obscured half their face.
It was then Ryder realised the Operative was a woman. Strands of black hair escaped the cap, her skin fair but tanned brown, as if she was more at home on a planet with a sun. Taut muscles rippled under scarred skin, the Operative sighed. Without a word, they drew back a foot and slammed it into Ryder's middle.
The air rushed out of her lungs as she gasped. All thought to hold strong and betray no weaknesses fled. She barely had the capacity to do anything more than scream.
"I told you you'd regret making me come in here," the Operative growled.
Shepard sighed. She spared a few minutes washing her face, putting her hair into a ponytail instead of a braid before she returned to her quarters. Gingerly she eased herself back into the chair. She activated her terminal. It was a quick search for baby Ryder's emergency contact. With a tap, the connection was live.
She waited. The Alliance logo twirled around and around on screen. This feeling, the twisting in her guts, the heavy rock against her chest, the way her mouth was dry and her breath couldn't quite come, it was familiar. It wasn't unlike when she found out she had lost everything and everyone she held dear. It was a feeling she never wanted to feel again.
That's what happens when you let people get too close.
She sighed, air exhaled through her nose, loud and harsh. Her fingers rapped against her desk. "Just fucking pick up."
Baby Ryder isn't dead. That much is clear, Cerberus wanted her. But why?
Before she could send her mind down that black hole, a face flickered into view on the screen. Alec Ryder had more grey in his hair than the last time she saw him. That was mere months ago. His grey eyes darted to meet hers.
"I wasn't expecting a call from you." His voice gruff and tired as he ran a hand through his hair. "Why are you calling?"
Shepard swallowed, her lips parted ready to utter the words to send his world crashing down. Before she could speak, his eyes widened. Something flashed through his eyes. "Is it Sara? What happened?"
"She has been captured."
"What?" He stood, pushing away from his terminal.
It was then Shepard got a good view of him. He was dressed in a white and blue uniform. A strange logo emblazoned on his chest. She had heard of it. The Andromeda Initiative, the ambitious private endeavour to send arks filled with colonists to Andromeda. The rumours were true then. Alec had joined.
"I entrusted my daughter to you and this is what happens?" he growled.
Shepard swallowed the first retort that threatened to burst forth. "We are doing everything we can to get her back."
"Don't give me the Alliance PR bullshit, Shepard. Tell me what happened?"
"I can't," she replied as calmly as she could, trying to tell herself that his reaction was expected. "You're not Alliance anymore. Technically I shouldn't even be telling you this now. I'm doing you a courtesy to inform you personally. You know the protocol. We're doing everything we can to get her back."
He glared at her, sinking back into his chair. "Was she targeted?"
Shepard stiffened, her eyes narrowed. "Why would you say that?"
"There had been some chatter about some unsavoury elements looking to get their hands on some tech."
"Does this have to do with the Andromeda Initiative?"
Ryder senior nodded.
"Cerberus? The AI you've been developing?"
The man hesitated. The anger in his eyes had banked to a simmer. He was evaluating her.
"Fucking hell, Ryder. This is your daughter, if you have any information that will help me, you should be telling me."
The silence stretched. Seconds ticked by like minutes. Finally, he nodded again. "They tried to gun for me and my wife but I'm secured and so is my wife. I've made sure of it."
Shepard racked her brains, trying to remember anything she know about the Ryders. "You have a son too. What about him?"
"I've pulled some strings and got him transferred to the Citadel. He is as safe as I can get him," he confessed.
Shepard hissed, rubbing her hands over her face. This was a mess. "And you did the same for Sara?"
He sighed. "Janus is supposed to be safe but look what happened. Then, you requested her for the Normandy. You had Hackett's backing. Of course I couldn't get her assigned elsewhere."
"And so that scene at the docks, what was that supposed to be? You're trying to get me to say 'No, I don't want your daughter on my ship?"
"I was desperate, Shepard," he admitted.
"All right. I don't fucking know why you didn't just tell me, let your kids know or let the fucking Alliance know," she sighed. "Cards on the table, Ryder. I need all your intel. Now."
By the time Shepard had terminated the connection, she was beyond tired, but she had leads to chase down. Hopefully, she'd be able to retrieve her wayward soldier in one piece.
"Fucking mess."
Pain flashed across her scalp. Her head was tugged upright by her hair. She panted, mouth open, breath shallow. Blood was trickling down face, obscuring her vision.
"Got a good shot?" the Operative asked.
"Yes Commander," someone else laughed.
The Operative chuckled and let go. Ryder's head thumped against the floor unceremoniously, bouncing a little against the concrete. Her breath whistled out of her nose in short hisses.
"Get that processed and sent over," she ordered. "Make sure the security is tight. We don't want any surprises. After all, we stole her right from under Commander fucking Shepard's nose."
"Got it." The footsteps receded.
Ryder laid where she fell, unable to summon the energy to turn onto her back. Eyes half lidded, she stared at the middle distance, trying to pretend it wasn't her body that was throbbing like a single organism filled with only pain.
"Persephone, what a cute code name the Boss has given you."
Ryder stiffened, chiding herself for losing track of the operative.
"You're a hard fish to catch. Especially after that disaster on Janus."
Janus? What about Janus?
The Operative laughed, her voice low, almost sultry. A hand pushed against her shoulder and flipped her on her back easily. Ryder groaned, blinking away the tears that clouded her vision.
"We even had an inside guy to make sure you will just sit tight. Walker did his part and got arrested for his trouble but Bickmore botched the job so bad. That fucking bitch got away with some stupid Prothean shit and thinks the Boss will give him a pat on the head and say 'good job'."
Walker? Walker is Cerberus?
Another dark chuckle rang out.
"Danger, danger," Ryder's mind screamed, forcing her to struggle. Grunts of exertion loud in her ears as she tried to shift away from the Operative.
"Where did you think you're going?" the Operative grinned, resting a boot against her sternum.
She groaned and held herself still, breath was slowly forced out of her as the Operative leaned her weight against her chest.
"The Boss called in the big guns. That's me," the Operative went on as if uninterrupted. "I caught you, not Dickmore, not some other fucker. I did. Remember that, I am Kai Ling."
"Got it, got it," Ryder rasped. "What the hell did you want me for? I am a fucking nobody."
"You? We don't really want you. We want the AI your father is developing. We wanted your brother but he is a little too well protected for our tastes. Even the Citadel is a little out of reach for us. So we got the next best thing."
The pressure on her chest eased as Kai Ling removed her boot from her chest. Ryder sucked as much air as her abused chest allowed.
"And you think capturing me is your next best bet?" she laughed despite the stabbing needles radiating from her chest. "I think you got the wrong person."
Even through the visor obscuring Kai Ling's face, Ryder could feel the anger buzzing from her. "What the fuck are you talking about?" her voice cold as ice as she hissed.
"Seriously. My father trading an AI for me? Never. I'm not that important. You got the wrong Ryder kid. Scott's right, someone did made sure he was posted to the Citadel. It wasn't to shit can him but to keep him safe. Now you're stuck with spoilt goods."
Kai Ling frowned, her pulse throbbing against her temple, she didn't know what to make of her laughing prisoner.
"You got the wrong fucking Ryder," Ryder exhaled. "Was Janus all to get me? All those people dead because of me? Sagh, Kovács, Ishida, Garcia and other scientists, because of me. And still you got the wrong damn person?"
Hysterical words filled her mouth as tears cut lines down her face. Despair, anger, frustration boiled over and she was just exhausted, physically and mentally.
"One way or another," Kai Ling snarled, blue flared up her arm, clamping it down like a vice over Ryder's throat. "We will get what we want by guile or by force."
The Cerberus operative stalked out without another word,
"My father will never trade the AI for me," she whispered. "Never."