Shepard gave the order and the Normandy took flight. Everyone except Arashi was back on their feet to varying degrees. It took some barked orders but she kept the ones worse off from joining her securing the LZ. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw Williams helping Ryder up onto the Normandy. When Joker got them out of there, she was jittering from unspent adrenaline. It wasn't common she held a rifle and wasn't forced to pull the trigger even once. They were high tailing back the Citadel. She had words for Hackett but that would come later.
Now she needed to speak to Baby Ryder.
Shepard froze at the threshold. The tension in the med-bay so thick she could slice it with her omni-blade. Pain lined baby Ryder's usually smiling face, she shook and shivered with a blanket around her shoulders. Blood coated one of her legs while her chest was bruised and blackened.
"Did you trade the AI for me?" she asked her father.
"Of course not."
Baby Ryder recoiled as if stuck. The flicker of hurt and sadness was quickly covered by a mask of sullen acceptance. Shepard growled and strode in. "What the fuck is going on here?"
Both Ryders turned as one. The younger Ryder recovered first despite the closed in expression on her face. "Commander, I'm sorry for getting captured. I…"
"Shut up," Shepard said. She jerked her head at Chakwas. The doctor nodded. Shepard's green eyes flickering over to the elder Ryder. "You, come with me," she snapped.
Alec's jaw tightened. Nobody had spoken to this N7 soldier like that before she had gathered.
"I'm her father," he snarled. "I should be here."
Shepard glanced at her Baby Ryder, now lying on her back, looking smaller than she had ever seen before. Baby Ryder was trying to disappear under the blanket, head turned away, eyes squeezed shut. That decided it.
"Act like one."
He flinched like she had slapped him. She marched him out of the med-bay as she heard Chakwas speaking to Baby Ryder in low soothing tones. She knew Baby Ryder was in good hands. Her job was to deal with Alec.
Frankly, I must revise who is the baby in this relationship.
"How is she?" Shepard asked, pushing a cup of steaming hot tea towards Chakwas.
Chakwas glared at Alec. He was seated next to her. Shepard sighed. "I know he is an asshole, but he is, officially, her next of kin."
Chakwas exhaled and kept her eyes on Shepard as she spoke. "She is dehydrated and slightly hypothermic. Lacerations, bruises all over, but the worrying one is the one on her thigh. It is infected and Cerberus hadn't bother any of it. I've debrided the wound and started her on a course of antibiotics."
"Is that all?" he asked, his tone couldn't possibly be more condescending.
Shepard twisted her neck and stared at the man. "You don't know when to shut up, do you?"
Chakwas reached towards her cup and sipped her tea, watching the exchange between two N7 soldiers over the rim of her cup.
"Your daughter, by all accounts, after surviving four days being a guest of Cerberus had made successfully escaped by herself. We merely were there to provide transport. And your first thought is to strip the skin of her back for what? For sullying the Ryder name? I don't claim to know the inner workings of having a family and being a parent, but this is bullshit," Shepard growled
He opened his mouth ready to speak but she snapped, "You do not get to speak here. You are a civilian. You are no longer Alliance. I've extended you a courtesy because of you are ex-Alliance, you're an N7 and you're her father, but Sara Ryder is under my command, not yours."
Shepard turned resolutely back to Chakwas. "Go on."
The doctor went on listing the various injuries Ryder had received. Shepard couldn't help but feel every single one was her fault. Alec sat and listened, finally getting it through his head that he should bloody keep his mouth shut.
"So what does this mean?" Shepard asked.
"She needs rest and further treatments on the Citadel if she wants to recover fully."
She nodded, suspecting as much. It wasn't just the physical injuries, but the ordeal Baby Ryder had been put through. Her father had only made things worse.
"I'll see to it she gets the rest she needs," Shepard said.
"About that, I'd want Arashi and Díaz to be sent there for some additional treatments," Chakwas said.
Shepard beckoned to Chakwas. They left to take care of business, leaving Alec to sit alone with his thoughts.
Ryder was tired, but sleep was receding, insisting she rejoined the world of the living. She blinked. For once, she appreciated the dim lights in the med-bay. Her chest was sore, her leg ached, her muscles tingly but all in all, she was alive. Chakwas had administered some top grade painkillers, it had left her feeling like her soul wasn't quite attached to her body.
The door hissed open. The familiar stiff shoulders and straight neck figure of her father approached. Like a coward, she shut her eyes and pretended to be asleep.
Her father's words from the day before echoed in her head. "How did you even get captured? You're supposed to be leading others and look what happen? You can't even keep yourself safe. And now you risk everyone's lives to come get you."
She hunched her shoulders and weathered them, every word stabbing, cutting deep and leaving her bleeding bloodlessly. A hand pressed against her face just so she didn't have to see the cold and hard eyes that was attached to the face delivering those words. Normally, she'd be angry, she'd be frustrated, but everything her father had said was true. Maybe the four days as a guest of Cerberus had wore down her walls, maybe she was just tired and exhausted, she couldn't summon the energy to fling barbs of her own.
Kai Ling had confirmed it. She was their second choice, Scott was too protected but she wasn't. Her father hadn't cared. Cerberus' ploy had succeeded in drawing him out. As much as her heart lifted to see her father here, to know he cared enough to come, she wished she was back with Kai Ling. It was easier to be angry there.
Chakwas had pointedly and politely, in only the way she could, asked her father to keep quiet or leave but she needed to know. She needed to know that she hadn't jeopardised everything by her capture. His answer, the way he said it, was like a slap in the face.
Of course, I was lesser than Scott and Ma. And now the AI as well.
His presence loomed over her, Ryder willed herself to keep still. She didn't know why he was here now, but she didn't want to deal with him any longer. One more well placed cut with his words, she'd break down crying. She didn't need that.
One week ago, Ryder was sure and confident in her self-worth and skills. All it took was one setback and she was back at hom, in the cage that took her years to recognise it as one. She was once more under his boot of towering expectations and her inability to reach them. There, she would never be good enough. It was different on Normandy. She had earned her place through her efforts, she did not relied on the Ryder name. To let her father taint this one good thing that had came out of Janus was too much to bear.
Ryder laid on her back. Her arms splayed wide beside her. She had been feeling warm before. Something was being dragged up towards her chest. It was her blanket she realised. It took all her willpower not to open her eyes. The heavy fabric stopped at her waist. Warm hands took her arms and arranged them by her side before pulling the blanket up her chin.
Is he tucking me in?
The air seemed to buzz. Ryder waited, wondering what was happening, why it was happening.
He sighed. The exhale was long and weary. "Sara," his breath hitched. "You scared me."
Ryder stiffened and prayed he hadn't noticed. A lump formed in her throat that no amount of discrete swallowing would rid her of. It was the first time in recent memory, her name wasn't barked at her with reproach.
"And I was afraid."
Her ability to breathe normally through her nose got harder.
"I… I'm just…" he sighed again, words had failed him. The scratch of fingers against stubble bristled across the air. "Just get well."
He pressed his palm against her shoulder for a second before leaving. She opened her eyes in time to see the door sliding shut behind him. The void his palm left burnt.
Her heart ached like a long embedded thorn had been removed. Even as old poison leeched from the wound, it hadn't a real chance to heal right. A single touch, a single confession wasn't enough. There was just too much scarred tissue around it and it held true healing back.
Confused and frustrated, Ryder wept.
Shepard glanced at her terminal, at the blinking cursor on her report. Walker was Cerberus. The confirmation that struck hard. Who can I trust? She sighed, saved the document and sent it up the chain. One way or another, Walker needed to pay for his crimes. All those deaths were on his and Cerberus' hands.
They were making good time. They would reach Citadel in a day or so. Hopefully, Vakarian would be able to help her sell that souped up shuttle. Her credit account had taken a serious hit, and she'd like to get some back.
She would offload Ryder, Arashi and Díaz on the Citadel and resupplying. She had debriefed Ryder and based on her report, there were new threads she could pull on. The Prothean artifact wasn't lost.
However to learn that Ryder was the heart of an elaborate operation to kidnap her for the solo purpose to blackmail her father for the AI had left a bitter taste on her tongue. A plot that spanned both Janus, Omega and now Imorkan. This was deeper than she thought it would go.
Why didn't Alliance Intelligence catch wind of this?
That still left the question of Omega in the air. Walker was a traitor or a spy, but he wasn't the only one. Her guts clenched at the thought of a traitor within the Alliance High Command.
A Cerberus sympathiser? or a plant?
Hackett was the one who gave her the mission. She carried it out as a Spectre not an Alliance solider despite that he would expect a report. Now that Ryder was secured on the Normandy again, it was time she called him. If she was lucky, she'd get a sense of how much she could trust him.
Shepard stepped into the comms room and a holo of Hackett flickered to life ahead of her. Likewise, an image of herself popped up over on his end.
The wonders of QEC communications.
"Shepard," Hackett greeted. "We have received some disturbing reports from the Omega Nebula."
She kept quiet, she knew what Hackett was doing. Instead of giving himwhat he wanted, she shrugged. "How curious."
His eyes narrowed. "Commander, how did the mission go?"
"The off-the-books mission?"
"Is there any other kind?" Hackett countered.
"It went as well as those reports you've been getting."
"But—" Hackett stopped himself. The crease between his brow tightened. "I see."
Shepard inhaled. It was near impossible to read the Admiral. He had been playing the game for too long. He was the shark in the water while she was the stupid swimmer wading out into the ocean, wondering where the sharks were. The sharks were there all along, she was just too blind to see.
But is Hackett the Alliance's shark or Cerberus?
"I wonder how off-the-books the mission really is," Shepard probed.
"It is on a need to know basis."
She cocked her head. That could mean just him to every single Alliance soldier and their family. This was getting nowhere.
"Let's just say our wayward bird hasn't returned home. And the fox caught one of my little ducklings. It took a little work, but we got our duckling home."
Hackett frowned. "It seems it's time you have a chat with our mutual friend."
Shepard nodded. "Yes, that seemed appropriate."
"It's good seeing you Commander."
"Likewise."
With that, the comms was terminated. Shepard was left more bewildered than before. She had no idea if she had just tipped her hand at the enemy or she had found an ally. Regardless, she had a busy time ahead of her.
"I wonder if Anderson can squeeze me in between all those meetings he is having," she mused.
Ryder settled herself into the hover-chair. "I can walk you know," she pointed out.
"No, you can't," Williams said. "You hobble. That's what you do with a hole in your leg."
"Touché."
"I'm always right."
"That she is," another voice chimed in.
"Skipper, you came to see our Baby Ryder off?"
"Nah, she's no more Baby Ryder," Shepard said.
Williams' mouth fell open in a round O. "When did that happen?"
Shepard grimaced. "Let's just say, the younger Ryder is less of a cry baby than the elder one."
Ryder pressed a hand against her mouth as the other two studied her for a reaction. Concern were shining in their eyes.
"Are you ok?" Williams asked Ryder.
"I know your father is just standing over there," Shepard gestured vaguely ahead. "But…"
Ryder couldn't hold it in any longer. Laughter burst from her lips as she slapped her hand against her leg. "Oww, oww. Please don't do this to me."
Shepard chuckled as Williams joined in. The trio howled louder as her father turned to frown in their direction.
Eventually, they all got a hold of themselves. Ryder felt better. Sharing a laugh was just what she needed. Shepard squeezed her shoulder. "Heal up, soldier. You'll always have a place on the Normandy."
She nodded. "Thank you Commander. I really appreciate everything you have done for me. I don't have much money, I will work out a payment system so that I can pay you back…"
Shepard waved her off. "I might even turn a profit on the shuttle once word get out how fast it ran. All right, here comes Chakwas."
Chakwas escorted her and the other walking wounded off the docks. Shepard was speaking to her father. She twisted her neck to look only to see hand gestures pointing in her direction. Chakwas shifted to block her view.
"No need to look," she assured. "The Commander has got your back."
Ryder looked at the doctor. Grey eyes just her like her father's but these ones were filled with warmth and care. She took a deep breath and resolutely kept her face forward.
It was days before Ryder was released from the hospital. She was still on medical leave, scheduled to return for daily rehab sessions to build the muscles of her leg back up again after days of inactivity. Also to make sure the infection and the micro fractures on her sternum were all cleared up. Otherwise, it would mean more ossification treatments. Then and only then the doctors on base would clear her for active duty.
Ryder sighed, she chafed at being stuck on the Citadel but it would be good to have time to see her mother again.
"Do not overtax that leg," the doctor called as she threw her duffle over her shoulder.
"I know," Ryder replied, limping towards the door as quickly as she could. If she lingered, she swore they would find some reason to keep her in the hospital.
"See you tomorrow. Remember to take your painkillers, don't be stubborn about it."
"I will," she waved without turning back.
"And—"
"Stop it," the nurse chided. "They are all soldiers. Not children."
The doctor made a snort of derision. "Soldiers are worse than children."
Ryder chuckled and made good on her escape. It didn't take long before she got home. It was empty and still just like the last time. Almost all traces of her mother was erased. Gone were the pills on the kitchen counter, gone were the signs of a home lived in. She crossed the threshold and headed to her room.
"Sara?" Scott called out. "You're back? Why are you on the Citadel?"
She blushed. She had not thought to call him back since their arguement. She shifted her weight off her bad leg and grimaced.
"What happened?" His eyes narrowing at her.
Sighing, she said, "Let me get settled in, maybe you can get some food delivery?"
"Fuck, how long is this story, Sara?"
"Too long."
"So let me get this straight, you were captured by a terrorist organisation so that they can blackmail Pa for the AI he is working on?"
Ryder nodded.
"Fuck, Sara."
She snorted, draining her glass. "Yeah, thought you should know. Sorry I didn't call earlier."
"You know, I should be mad, but I'm not. I'm just glad you're ok," he slid from his chair and rounded the island to her back.
Ryder turned as her brother tugged her into his arms. They were solid and strong, encircling her for a brief moment before he broke the contact.
"So how's Ma?" She asked.
Scott stiffened. "Not well. I had been to see her just the day before, and Pa has fucked off to Theia station again. She is not doing well."
She rubbed her hand over her face. "Have you spoken to her yet?"
He ducked his head, avoiding eye contact with her.
"Shit, you haven't, have you? I guess Pa haven't either?"
He shook his head. "Now that you're here, maybe you can speak to her?"
Ryder looked at Scott, seeing the tentative hope in his eyes.
"You're always her favourite after all, maybe you can convince her? Early cryo and all that. The doctors are not optimistic about how long she has."
She bit her lip. "Tell me more about the Initiative."
They talked long into the night. It was half way through the night cycle when Scott begged off, citing work the next day. Ryder agreed, her head was swimming with possibilities as she sat on her bed. Sky cars zipped back in the distance. Isolated lights winked out against the darkened Citadel. They, like her, were awake in a world asleep. Maybe their souls were too heavy for sleep, too weary for rest.
The Initiative was a chance to colonise Andromeda. It seemed pretty clear her father was going. Maybe he was working with them so he'd get funding to work on the AI, maybe he really thought a cure for AEND would be waiting for them at the end of a 600 year journey.
"Think of it, seeing something new, something nobody else here had seen before," Scott said, his voice breathy with barely contained awe.
"But what about the things we're leaving behind?"
"What are we leaving behind? There is nothing for us here. Pa and Ma won't be here. I have no wife or kids that I'm leaving behind. I don't have anything here for me."
"Friends? Don't you have those? I mean, what about the one or two girls that I know you looked at differently?"
"Those were nothing serious. Things to do to while the time away." His hand gripped her arm tight, as if he could convince her through touch alone. "There is nothing here for us."
But I am leaving things behind.
Her unvoiced thought rang in her head. She had a career here. She had a good team with Solarin, Teo and Díaz. Friends on the Normandy that went beyond mere work colleagues in Ashley, Shepard and Alenko. Commander Shepard was in her fucking corner.
"I mean, we're going, aren't we?" Scott asked.
Are we? Am I?
She sighed, the edges of Alliance recruitment poster that featured Shepard right after the Blitz jabbed against her neck. Glancing up, she saw the younger fiery hair, green eyed Commander looking into the middle distance. "What would you do?"
The question bounced off the poster. No answer was forth coming.
Scott was so sure this was what they needed, what he needed. Pa was locked in his single-minded mission to save Ma by whatever methods necessary. What about Ma? She didn't even know what had been going on.
Ryder rubbed her temples. These recursive thoughts were wearing a grove into her brain. It all felt too much with a headache growing behind the tightness of her temples. Her leg ached and itched in that infuriating way healing wounds did. She had completely forgotten about her meds. It was too late to take them anyway. As she lay her head down on the pillow and willed her body to rest, she clutched at her fears and hopes.
First stop, check in with Ma.