A/N
Sorry for the delay. Enjoy
Chapter 6: vas Nedas nar Tasi
Kerris's POV
Everything was quiet, dark around him with a vague sense of calm. It had been so long since sweet silence had graced its presence for the screams of hate drowned out the world that he knew.
Kerris'Vateevah vas Nedas nar Tasi felt tranquil for the first time in well over a decade as he slowly opened his eyes. The lights had been dimmed in the room he was in. It was not some unknown place for Kerris as he instantly knew where he was.
"The A.I core huh? How fitting" the Quarian groaned as he sat up on the very bench Legion had been reactivated on. Also, Dr. Eva's robotic body had been repurposed here. Kerris had witnessed it all with his passive programs of the Normandy, but as his memories from hours past pushed back to the front of his mind he felt sick to his stomach causing him to double over. (Mad World: by Gary Jules)
[All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces…]
Tali had seen him after all of these years! She had seen what a despicable creature he had become! The cyborg tried to stand up but fell to the floor as his stomach locked up. It was so many years ago since his mind went into the abyss of insanity; that other creature was not pushing him back to that little corner anymore.
[Bright and early for the daily races, going nowhere, going nowhere.]
"How can I face them…Tali, after the things I have done?" he gasped trying to stand up, flashes of the screams of people crying for a chance to live, begging him to reconsider their fates. He had killed so many…hurt those he promised to protect.
[Their tears are filling up glasses, no expression, no expression. Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow, no tomorrow, no tomorrow…]
The Kerris from years ago was alive again. The once honorable, valiant even, the boy who tried to make peace with the Geth on his Pilgrimage, the young man who spent many of his days watching over his little sister Tali whenever she was bullied or sad. The Kerris before he was exiled and branded with his new name: Vas Nedas nar Tasi…crew of nowhere; child of no one.
The Quarian leaned against the bench tucking his mechanical legs to his chest, he felt lost for the first time since he crash landed on Rannoch where he lost his right arm when he was only twenty. But not even that compared to the pain he felt now.
[And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.]
He knew that there was no way out from what he had done, even though it wasn't really him. How could he articulate to Shepard, or to Tali that it was another creature, a different personality that did all of those atrocious things? He had to stand accountable for what he had done.
[I find it hard to tell you. I find it hard to take, when people run in circles it's a very very, mad world. Mad world]
Kerris, despite all that had happened had maintained one thing though, protecting Tali from himself. Tali was only ten or twelve when he got exiled, she saw him try and kill Han'Gerral after they found out about his secret. A secret that would save the Quarian race once and for all, but it was breaking his heart that all of it came to not.
[Children waiting for the day they feel good. Happy birthday, happy birthday. And I feel the way every child should. Sit and listen, sit and listen.]
He probably should see if Shepard was around, it would only be prudent of him. So much had to be sorted out if there was going to be any hope. But the last thing he remembered kept flooding his mind. Tali's shocked reaction to his existence. It drove a spike into his soul so deep that it snapped to another place. He could only imagine what the others had to tell her.
[Went to school and I was very nervous, no one knew me, no one knew me. Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson? Look right through me, look right through me.]
"I can't set things right…" Kerris muttered.
"That is why you have stayed locked away in our brain you incompetent fool! My way is the only one that works" growled the Kerris that the galaxy had known for the past decade. A shiver ran down his spine.
"No! You…you can't take control again! Go to hell you bastard!" whimpered Kerris as he clutched his head tears forming. He wouldn't let the man he had become take control again.
[And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. I find it hard to tell you, I find it hardtop take. When people run in circles it's a very very mad world. Mad world]
"I have to protect the Normandy, from me…EDI. Are you there?" asked Kerris with a weak voice.
"Yes. Can I be of assistance?" asked the AI.
[Enlarging your world…]
"I need to talk with Shepard-Commander" he said in his distorted mechanical voice.
"He has been notified" said EDI quickly. Kerris nodded as he tried to block out his other him in his own head.
[Mad world…]
Shepard's POV
"What happened to my crew!" screamed the Commander as he threw his model SR-1 against the back wall of his cabin. John couldn't see straight he was so furious. Everything was falling apart around him despite how hard he tried.
"I'm fucking tired of finding out the darkest shit in the galaxy! I for once would like to see people triumph and persevere, but no! What do I find in the Geth consensus? That the Quarians were committing god damn genocide! At least the Krogans' had something to account for, but the Geth intelligence was only an infant by technical terms!" he continued to shout as he paced his cabin fuming about how dismal the chance of peace for the two warring factions. John glanced over at Garrus who was staying very still on the couch. The Turian was watching him very closely with his always scrutinizing gaze.
"To make things worse! We are down an Admiral who was a key element in securing a peace and keeping the others in line. Now all of the weight is on Tali's shoulders, she has been through enough. God fucking damn it!" he shouted as he kicked an already thrown lamp across the room towards the shower.
"John, all of this rage is useless. You need to calm down for you own sake" said Liara who had been quietly listening from his desk.
"No I won't fucking calm down! Since when in the history of ever has being told to 'calm down' ever worked? Never, I fucking swear I wonder if I should have stayed and ignorant country hick back in Virginia. At least then I knew people were fucking useless and was awright with it. But oh hell naw! They have to go and fuck the galaxy over with shitty ideals!" he continued to rant as he punched the wall.
"Commander…" said the disembodied EDI from the comm.
"Yes…" Shepard breathed trying to bring himself back to his center.
"Kerris is now awake and wishes to speak with you" announced EDI.
"I'll be down in a few minutes thank you" he snapped causing Liara to glare at him.
"I will…" EDI responded before going quite.
"That wasn't necessary" said Liara who was clearly agitated. John snorted for he was past a point in his mind. He hadn't been this angry since the council refused to listen to him about Saren.
"Kerris is its own problem. He is a damned distraction that is not needed right now. Fuck it I'll get this done just like I always fucking do" John snapped again, but he caught sight of Garrus once again. He had brought the Turian up here for a reason. John pointed an angry finger at his friend.
"Don't think you are in the clear for one second" Shepard snarled at Garrus who glanced at the ground with anger very obvious on the Turian's face.
"I thought after all of watching Kyson tearing himself apart would be enough. I know you are scared for Teagann, but right now, it's nose to the grindstone time" said John calming down just a tad. He couldn't fault his friend too much.
"Understood" said Garrus without flinching a muscle. John stormed out of his cabin and into the elevator with Liara running in right before the door closed. But he wasn't done venting.
"Where the fuck is Kyson anyway? I think I understand the crazy now! No wonder Xen and Kerris spaced him…" began John through clenched teeth.
"John! Don't you dare think that!" yelled Liara furious that he had said such a thing. John was about to say more when he got pulled by his shirt collar to be pulled down to eye level with Liara. Now she was all rage.
"Don't you dare continue that thought, do you hear me? Get yourself under control John Shepard!" said Liara. The Commander saw that he had crossed one to many lines in his tantrum.
"I'm sorry" he said quietly as he felt his blood pressure subside. Liara turned her back on him crossing her arms.
"Don't you ever talk about our friends like that again. It's not you" replied Liara as she pressed for the crew deck. John sighed as he rubbed his temple. Another headache was coming along. The rest of the ride was spent in silence as he tried to focus on the task at hand.
The mess was vacant as the angry couple made their way towards the medical bay. Tension was high all across the board making the Commander grind his teeth more than normal. He just wanted this war done with. He wanted to be back home on Earth on a beach somewhere lost from civilization. But as the door to the AI core opened those thoughts were sundered to the corners of the galaxy.
Kerris was sitting on the bench patiently waiting. He's just sitting there. No twitching, no bravado just sitting. Every type of warning bell and red flag went off in John's head as he closed the door behind Liara.
"It's good to see you again Shepard-Commander" said Kerris as the Quarian slowly got up to address his visitors.
"Why did you just call me that?" asked a very perplexed Shepard.
"Habit, but if you would please restrain me I think it would be most appropriate" said the Quarian who held one organic arm next to the metal monstrosity that was his right appendage.
"You have to be joking" this was getting too weird for him now. And he knew weird.
"I am not joking. My calm state is very…tenuous at best. I don't know how long this will last" said Kerris with fear evident in his voice.
"I don't follow" replied John as he glanced at Liara who shrugged her shoulders.
"How bout we start with why you went full tilt on Kyson?" asked the Commander. Kerris dropped his arms back to his sides before shaking his head.
"I was hoping for Tali to be present for this. I owe an explanation for my actions to you Commander, but most of all to her" said the shrunken form of the Cyborg. John just couldn't grasp what had happened to Kerris. The once feared bounty hunter of the Terminus had been reduced to a sad little man. Something big was about to happen.
"EDI, where the hell is Tali?" asked John his anger rising again for this was going to be another mess. He just knew it.
"I just notified her. She is on her way up from the hanger bay now Shepard" said EDI. John nodded.
"Thank you EDI. I'm…sorry for snapping at you earlier…" he replied feeling like a massive dick all of a sudden under Kerri's gaze.
"You are under stress. We all are Shepard so it is understandable. Thank you none the less for the apology" said EDI before falling silent.
"Why did you snap at EDI? She is one of the nicest people I have ever met" asked the cyborg. John grunted as he looked at the deck.
"My patience is very thin" he replied making sure the Quarian knew he wasn't in the mood for whatever game he was playing.
"Oh…I'm sorry" said Kerris apologetically. John just stared at the Quarian as he waited for Tali to show up. What game was the cyborg playing at? It was only another minute before Tali showed up, but she wasn't alone. As the door opened Tali walked in with Kyson holding onto her hand still in full armor, they must have just gotten back, that made it almost three hours since the mission.
"Kerris!" gasped Tali as she let go of Kyson who had a sour look as if he was washing his mouth with lime juice. Tali ran up to the cyborg, but stopped short clutching her hands nervously. The cyborg slowly reached up and removed his visor causing Tali to take a step back in shock. Next the helmet was removed allowing Kerris's long black hair to fall down his back. John noted that all Quarians had much thicker hair almost dreadlock like in nature yet looked silky soft the way it draped loosely. If memory served right, Tali's hair was only slightly longer.
"It…how? Kerris how did all of this happen to you?" asked the shorter Quarian as Kerris seemed to study her.
"You kept it" was all the male replied.
"What?" asked Tali glancing around at herself.
"The knife I brought you…from my Pilgrimage…" replied the cyborg in a soft yet still mechanical voice even with his mask off. John saw the cybernetics coursing across the cyborgs face making John subconsciously rub one of his cheeks.
"I…it has been very useful" replied Tali shyly. It was as if time was reversing. The strong brash Tali he had gotten used to was gone. Now he was seeing the girl he met back in a dank back alley scared out of her mind.
"I'm glad. I must apologize for not seeing you sooner. Much has happened since my exile Tali" said Kerris with what sounded like great pain. A shuffle behind the Commander made him whip around. Liara had an arm in front of a very angry looking Kyson. And this is where it all goes downhill…
"Not now" warned Liara as she stood in front of Kyson. The engineer twitched, but nodded once before lighting a cigg. The boy still had a heavy bruise under his right eye, but that didn't hide the overall sunken features. The ordeals the younger N7 had been through were tearing him apart. Tali also didn't miss the close call.
"Why? Why did you try to kill Kyson?" asked Tali with a strong voice returning. Kerris went back to the bench and sat quietly collecting his thoughts.
"Well, answer her" snapped Kyson who was staring down the cyborg who couldn't meet the engineer's fiery gaze.
"I think to answer all of the questions, I must start way back…" said the cyborg.
"Kyson, grab us some chairs" ordered the Commander. Kyson left only to return seconds later with four simple collapsible chairs. Once everyone was seated, John being the closest to Kerris, nodded for the Quarian to continue. At least I'm going to possibly get some answers about this. It looks like Kerris might have a weak spot after all.
"First, I'm sorry Kyson. I'm so sorry for what I helped do to you and Tali. I hope both of you will find it possible to forgive me one day for my transgressions" said Kerris shakily. John glanced at Kyson who was scowling.
"Kerris…" Tali said with a glance back at Kyson who had sat with the chair facing backwards directly across from his nemesis.
"Right. Let's see um…how I know Legion. Well it's the same reason I got exiled. I made it my mission to find peace with the Geth so I flew almost directly to Rannoch" said Kerris with a soft smile. John noticed the almost innocent look behind the grin causing him to see something that must have been lost for years.
"Before you go any further, how many people have you told your story to?" asked Shepard trying to get a feel for the information to come.
"Two. Daro…and the Geth. Only they truly know who I am, Tali did long ago" replied the now scowling Quarian. The bare faced Kerris was unnerving Tali for she sat transfixed at each moving muscle not comprehending how he could be so free.
"I thought you were dead…father said you made it to Omega, but died a few weeks later. Mercs…" said Tali.
"Figures he told you that, but I do not blame him, too much. You see Commander; I was shot down as I got to Tikkun. But as I would later learn, there had been two factions of Geth for almost twenty years before me. Legion…was the one who found me after I got shot down by the Heretics…gave me my new arm" said Kerris. John watched as the merc rubbed his metal appendage out of habit along with a flash of pain across the face.
"So you were truly the first to make contact with the Geth?" asked John now wondering why Legion hadn't said anything. Shepard was told that he was the first to have peaceful relations towards the machine race.
"Yes. They saved me…became my family really for outside of Tali I had none to call family. But about two years after my mishap I had to return, but not without a gift. Something to show for my Pilgrimage" said Kerris ominously causing Kyson to roll his eyes. Tali seemed to lean in even closer though for what Kerris was saying about the two of them was true.
"Tali, the reason you stare at me so is because I do not need to wear my helmet or visor. The Geth did more than give me a new arm. They gave me back my immune system" said Kerris with a hint of pride. Tali gasped not believing such a thing was possible. John would almost agree after Tali's explanations of how long it would take for her people to be re acclimated even if they took back Rannoch itself.
"How? Kerris, how could you hold this amazing discovery from our people? It will save us!" yelled Tali as she jumped out of her chair. John looked at Kerris who was now grimacing. Something was eating at the cyborg and from what Kerris said earlier…it wasn't truly him, it might soon be showing itself soon. He hoped whatever was going on didn't turn ugly.
"Because!...because your father found out about it before I could properly reveal it. He never said anything, but…it led to my exile. Tali, the Geth uploaded their intelligences into my suit. They simulated infections and disease tricking my body into building a resistance" said Kerris. This made everyone in the room gasp slightly.
"I'll be damned…" muttered Kyson.
"But Kerris, you tried to kill Han! I saw it with my own eyes, then you fled!" said Tali shakily once again. It had to have been a very traumatic experience for her it appeared.
"I was trying to figure a way to reveal my gift, but Tali; do you even know what our people did to the Geth? Of course not, they have the whole fleet brainwashed" replied Kerris shaking his head sadly.
"That we can agree on" grunted Kyson. Kerris looked at the still disgruntled looking engineer. John saw some sort of understanding between the two.
"That's partly why you got set up Kyson. You threw things back into the Admirals faces. You were a threat to the way of living; you promoted freedom and a sense of self. Not a drone desperately trying to contribute to a dying dream" said Kerris.
"Damn Kyson, how much did you stir up on the fleet?" asked Liara.
"Did you even know you were doing it?" asked John for Kyson tended to get into things before he knew he had arrived. The engineer took a deep drag on his cigg before responding.
"I knew I pissed them off with the whole Reaper thing. But otherwise I figured Xen was just a cold hard bitch" said the young N7. John smirked despite himself.
"Kerris, why did you almost kill Han'Gerral?" asked Shepard trying to move things along. Besides, it seemed like half the galaxy had problems with Han. Giving the Turians grief along their border along with every system the fleet moved into to scavenge resources for their fifty-thousand plus fleet.
"Han was around me for some reason talking with Rael. He…bad mouthed my family the Geth. I couldn't take it anymore for I knew the truth of the Mourning war. I knew who the real enemy was…us. So I snapped and went to run through Han like the bastard he is…but a Marine jumped in front of him. I killed an innocent man who was just doing his job…" lamented the cyborg who shivered in place.
John heard Kyson rummage for something and saw the same flask he always carried. John shook his head still pissed about the amount of abuse of the stuff he had allowed. That was going to stop, soon.
"I came too with that man's dying scream. I panicked and ran before anyone knew what was going on. I went to Omega, that's where they all go, Zaeed had gotten that nailed on the head" continued the Cyborg.
"You know a lot of our sayings…Human ones at least" noted Shepard.
"I have spent a lot of time studying everything Shepard-Commander. I have been on every home world for months at a time even your friend Captain Anderson knows me. I have helped the Alliance before, but that is in the past" replied Kerris. John was quiet as he tried to get a bigger picture of who Kerris was, not just what he had done.
A man seeking to save his race despite the possibility of utter destruction didn't become a notorious mass murderer for no reason. Something big had to have happened. But did there? A man who held a hope for his people, a beacon of a life so crazed for if shunned in such a manor could be disastrous.
"But what did you bring that my father knew about?" Asked Tali still yearning for more about her lost brother.
"I had three active Geth programs in my suit ever since I got back on the fleet. I was to be an emissary from the Geth, but as you can see that never happened" said Kerris sadly.
"The admirals have a habit of screwing themselves. You would think surviving your ordeal on Rannoch would have made you a hero" commented Liara who glanced at Shepard. John nodded, it still didn't explain but so much.
"So how did that little sob story make you a psycho killer?" barked Kyson with an angry glare. John sighed heavily in response. Damn it Kyson just shut the fuck up and listen. Why must you jump the gun and provoke everyone?
"That…that is something that is hard to explain" said the cyborg as he hung his head in shame.
"Why do they keep calling you a mass murderer? Tell me it's not true Kerris!" begged Tali. John could feel how much Tali was hurting at that moment. Her father had torn her about all of her life; Kyson freed her from that demanding life only to have him taken as well. Now, two ghosts from her past were back. One was now a wanted war criminal, the other a broken version of the man she loved. Despite her excitable loving nature, she had the hardest life of them all. It was as if nothing she did mattered, no matter how hard she tried.
"I…it's true Tali. I have taken the lives of so many…but that wasn't me I swear!" shouted Kerris with tears forming in his eyes, even his voice cracked causing an odd pitch due to his once damaged throat.
"But why? You told me that there is always another way!" said Tali as she walked up to him. Kerris hung his head burying his face in his hands.
"I tried so hard to fight it! For so long…but time buried me. It…it took over" sobbed Kerris. Tali laid a hand on her brother's shoulder trying to comfort him.
"What took over?" asked Liara wanting to know the obvious question hanging in the air. Kerris coughed trying to clear his throat.
"Chaos" the cyborg managed to choke out. John looked at Kyson who seemed to twitch in place.
"It's me, but not. When I went to Omega, I kept thinking about what the Quarians did to the Geth. I grew to hate them, my own people. I was always stigmatized since my own parents were exiled. I was branded the child of negligent people so I was never to be trusted. All of this gave birth to another me; he fights for control even now in my mind. It is so loud!" growled Kerris at the end causing Tali to recoil. John looked at Liara. He motioned for her to meet just outside the door.
"Kyson, keep a watch on him…" John stopped as he saw Kyson's face. He was stalk still with beads of sweat forming on his brow. The engineer nodded slowly as he walked past. The door shut with Liara giving him a worried look in the med bay.
"I figured something out" he said to Liara causing her to sigh.
"That the galaxy can be very cruel to those hoping to do a good deed; that is a constant. Kerris is clearly suffering from a split personality. It is not uncommon for Quarians sadly" said Liara who was on the same page. John rubbed his temple.
"How common?" he asked. Liara shrugged.
"Less than humans, but it is more common than the other races. Despite the dextro part, Humans and Quarians share the closest relation. I have often wondered if this is why it was so easy for Tali to bond with Kyson" said Liara glancing back at the door.
"So what? Kerris is no longer responsible for what he has done? I can understand the Geth taking the Reapers code, I can reason with the Krogan and even the Rachni Queen, but one man not being able to control killing almost a million?" said John with his voice rising a bit in frustration.
"I know, but he might be the key to reaching peace with the Geth. If he considers them family then he can talk with them" said Liara with hope.
"You are a genius Liara" John smirked. He was getting so wrapped up that he missed the obvious.
"Someone has to be. You just take care of the big picture, I'll get the littler day to day stuff what do you say?" smiled Liara. John rolled his eyes with a large smile.
"You got it, let's get this figured out and catch some sleep as we figure out our next move" Liara took his hand giving it a firm squeeze.
"Of course I think you could use some personal attention to help you think" replied Liara with a devilish little grin she had somehow learned. John tried not to laugh as the door opened back up to the AI core. Tali was leaning against the back wall awkwardly while Kyson was still in the same spot. His cigarette had burned to nothing but ash yet the left over carbon had not been tapped away. A ghostly remnant of the cigg just clung on like Kyson's death grip on his chair. The N7 hadn't moved a muscle as he stared down the cyborg.
"Please continue Kerris, You were saying that it wasn't you who killed all of those people over the years?" asked John directly. The Quarian twitched as he stared at the floor.
"I am not of sound mind. The other me could take control any second…so please try and understand that I am horrified of what my body has done. I cried out for years as I watched my hands destroy the lives of people across this galaxy. There…there is no redemption for me" mumbled Kerris. John had heard that line of thinking before; he stole a glance at Kyson who was still staring at the cyborg. John swallowed hard. The engineer had been sounding just like Kerris ever since Mars…even longer. Oh no…Kyson, don't go down that road. I see it now! Everything you buried will lead to the fate Kerris has suffered. Fight back against it! John saw Kyson's eye twitch confirming his fears.
"There has to be a way, Kerris this can't be…as an admiral I can…" Tali began only for Kerris to snap his gaze upon her looking fearful.
"No! You mustn't do such a thing! It would ruin your standing for peace with the Geth. I have sown my own fate" said Kerris.
"I can't just accept that someone I call my brother was responsible for all of this! Like you said it wasn't you!" said Tali trying to grasp any hope for the man she once knew.
"Tali, I'm so sorry. It is because of you I have spied upon the Normandy for the past three years" said Kerris.
"What?" gasped Tali. John remembered when Kerris explained about how he had seen Tali on their mission on Noveria. She wasn't present for that conversation.
"He's not lying Tali, he saw you with me. He was there to take out a hit on Anoleus, we beat him with Parasini. He had bugged the Normandy ever since. He knows everything about what has happened on this ship since then" said Shepard. Tali glanced at John before going back to Kerris.
"Then you knew…you knew that I was with Kyson. You knew we were bonded yet you tore us apart? You had almost three years to contact me!" Tali yelled now furious with the cyborg.
"Hence why I am past redemption…my other self cares for you as well Tali, but where I applaud that you have found such a wonderful man…it sees him as a threat to the galaxy" said Kerris ominously looking Kyson in the eyes for the first time. John didn't hear a threat, but a warning for the young man to be on his guard.
"Tell that other you to piss off, for I will not have the drop on my again" said Kyson. John looked at Kyson after the strange tone he had used. It wasn't anger, it was not compassion, but there was understanding that had occurred. Kevin…John remembered. Kyson was too smart to ignore this blatant warning of the fate that awaited him if he didn't accept help.
"Understood" said Kerris with a slow nod. Tali stood between the two men while doing a double take at both. John had heard enough for now.
"Kerris, I think you need rest. All of us do in fact so Kerris, I don't know what part you play in all of this yet, but right now you can stay in here. If you need anything grab it now while you can before lock up in an hour" said John as he got up. Everyone stood seeing that the grill session was over.
"Thank you Shepard-Comm…Shepard. Sorry I have been conversing with only the Geth basically for over ten years…" said Kerris nervously. John nodded before walking out. He had EDI call Private Ashe along with another Marine to gear up for guard duty. They were no match, but EDI had also promised to keep the troubled Quarian in check so there really was no need. But others on this ship had seen Kerris before. They would want a guard…but now was time for a regrouping with Admiral Raan then sleep.
Tali's POV
She couldn't feel her stomach anymore due to how tightly strung she was. Here was her brother! The boy who was Shala's aid turned protector, back from the dead. She was at a loss once again as Shepard left the AI core leaving her alone with the two men she had loved beyond all else. Yet they had been in a battle of wills over her. How in the name of the Ancestors could she find a way through this? Kyson just stared at Kerris and vice versa.
"Is…there anything you need?" asked Tali trying to break the silence.
"I'm fine, thank you…" said Kerris awkwardly as silence ensued once again. Kyson finally shifted his stance.
"You do one thing out of line, one thing to mess with her…" growled Kyson who was glaring again.
"I…I won't. Kyson, I'm sor…" Kerris never got to finish.
"I'll be around" grunted Tali's bondmate as he stormed out of the AI core leaving the med bay open. Tali had watched as Kyson became more and more despondent as Kerris told his tale. Something was vastly more wrong than the two of them having different points of view over the Geth or her future.
"Kyson! Wait…" she was about to run off when she glanced back at Kerris.
"I am not going anywhere…I promise" said Kerris nodding towards Kyson. Tali shivered as she heard that phrase. She had been told those same words so many times only for the promise to break.
"Thank you" she said as she sprinted after Kyson who had almost made it to the elevator.
"Kyson, talk to me…there is more going on than what you have said" she said knowing nothing else to say but to be blunt.
"Ask Kerris. He can explain all of this better than I can" said Kyson as he stared at the door waiting for the elevator. He had a hollow tone that seemed devoid of all emotion.
"Please help me…" she begged. How could she deal with Kerris alone? Didn't he see that she needed him more than ever?
"I am, by staying out of the way. I will only make what he has to say worse, I'm sorry…" said Kyson as the elevator opened.
"Stop saying that!" she shouted now angry. Kyson stood motionless half way into the lift.
"I'm tired of people being sorry! I just want to know what is going on! My father did this to me all of my life, now everyone is doing the same. Ignoring me…" she said as her fists trembled in rage. She would not stand for being treated like a child once again! She could handle things on her own damn it! Kyson turned around with a cold critical gaze. His eyes were dark green orbs that almost seemed to look through her.
"I am not ignoring you Tali. I am doing what is right, not complicating things. I can't be around that thing. He has caused me too much pain even if he has some sort of alter ego. I can't see past the Kerris that want's me dead and the Kerris you call brother" said Kyson as he turned his back on her. Tali felt her blood run cold as the elevator closed followed by a numbing silence. He had just left her there. Tali wrapped her arms around herself as she slowly made her way back to Kerris. He was standing exactly as she left him.
"Is everything alright?" he asked with a worried expression. Tali just stared at the mechanical lower half of her brother trying to figure out what might have happened for such a massive repair.
"Tali, how about you show me the Normandy while you clear your head" suggested her brother causing her to nod slowly still caught between his mechanical lower torso, and Kyson being so distant after what they just had down on Rannoch.
"Sure, but don't you know everything already?" she asked.
"I do, but I'd rather you show me" Kerris said managing a soft smile. Tali motioned for him to follow, as they entered the mess she saw James Vega talking with Ashley by the kitchen. They were laughing over something when they walked up.
"Ash heads up!" said Vega as he forgot what he was doing bringing his fists up with an angry face. Tali saw Ashley reach for her pistol.
"I'm not here to cause a problem. Truly I'm just here to make amends" said Kerris. Both Marines looked at each other astonished.
"So far you have played both sides of good and bad…" said James.
"I know…time for me to make things right. Tali is showing me the Normandy before I am under guard for the night" said Kerris calmly. James still had his guard up.
"If Tali is in charge of him we'll be fine" said Ashley who nodded warmly towards her friend. Tali noticed James relaxed at her words.
"If you say so…" he grumbled yet didn't stop staring at the cyborg.
"So…how's it going?" asked Kerris awkwardly.
"James is just convincing me that his enchiladas were only a warm up. He has tamales in the oven now that are apparently to die for" said Ashley trying to smooth out the tense moment. Tali was thankful when James went for it.
"They are, hey Kerris, you ever have a tamale before?" asked Vega with a smug look. Tali didn't like it; he had to know Quarians couldn't eat Levo amino based food.
"I have. They are quite good" replied Kerris causing Tali to do another double take.
"How?" she asked not believing him.
"The Geth did more than fix my immune system. Human food is up there with Asari cuisine. Turian and Salarian food doesn't come close" said Kerris as if it was a simple fact. Tali just stared at him slack jawed.
"So that's how you got all freaky? Geth captured you huh well at least they didn't turn you into a husk" said Ashley. Kerris just nodded not wanting to go through his story again.
"Hey, has Tali showed you the wicked awesome Thanix cannons yet?" asked Vega. Kerris shook his head.
"No she hasn't…" Kerris stopped as the door to the main battery opened. Garrus stood there boring into Kerris. He was in Jeans like Kyson wore and a white T-shirt custom tailored for him. He looked like an absolute wreck just as Tali remembered when Kyson tried to talk to him.
"Fuck you" was all the Turian said before the door shut again. Tali was shocked at such a rapid, harsh response. She looked at Kerris who looked beaten.
"I deserved that…" he said sadly giving a weak sigh.
"Damn, Garrus has been around Kyson too much…" said James.
"Come on Kerris, let's go to the observation room" she said leading him away. But as they got to the bar Luke was in the middle of a heated debate with Benalia.
"I don't care how badly he hates it! We lose people in war every single second! I never thought losing his fiancée would cause so many traumas after surviving three gangs trying to kill him on Omega!" snapped Luke as he slammed an empty bottle of beer on the bar.
"Damn it Luke, how the hell can you be so insensitive to your children? That is your daughter Luke! Don't you dare pretend you are some tough bastard that can weather it all. You have lost one, possibly two of your kids now, yet you also sit here damning Kyson for trying to make a difference as well?" asked Beni who sounded absolutely repulsed by the founding N7 Commander. Tali felt a metal hand take hers as she was silently led.
"My children have caused nothing but strife for others! Teagann isn't innocent either…" shouted Luke, but was cut off by the door shutting. Now Tali couldn't breathe, everything was so wrong she had to be in hell. That was it! She did load that old rifle; she did blow her brains across the Kodiak that was the only way these things could be happening!
"Tali…these people are falling apart" said Kerris as he led her to the elevator.
"How? How could this happen? This is The Normandy! We have always done the impossible, no matter what" she said in the elevator. Kerris sighed.
"I have listened to almost every major conversation of each of the specialists over the years Tali, mostly out of my own curiosity…when the Quarians went to war they have failed to realize the grand scheme of things. The galaxy is falling. Thessia has yet to be hit, but it is only a matter of time. Aria T'Loak has lost Omega to Cerberus as well, we are losing" said Kerris.
"We tried so hard to avoid this day" she replied as the elevator door opened to the engineering deck.
"I know, everyone here knows, but their spirit is broken. After the crew helped Wrex cure the Genophage, support was sent to take pressure off of Palaven, but they are at a grinding halt with thousands dying or being harvested a day. I wish I had better news for you after all of these years…" said Kerris as they looked over the hanger bay.
Tali saw Cortez working again on the Kodiak while the rest of the support crew was busy running maintenance routines. There never was good news was there?
"After this war with the Geth we are going to help the galaxy however we can" she said as she thought of the Sorley's beautiful country home on fire, the mountains were barren and charred with the bodies of a resistance mutated into husks.
"If I can't have my home world back, it is no reason why Kyson should lose his" she said angrily.
"I know, Shepard had to get Krogan support in exchange for Turian backing. The Salarians tried to back stab Wrex through Shepard, naturally Shepard did the right thing. But no Salarian support" said Kerris. Tali growled furious that everything was truly falling apart.
"Then damn them! They have dug their own grave, what of the Asari? Surely they understand the price…"
"Closing their borders and preparing for the end. The highest evolved; the most graceful amongst us have abandoned all hope leaving the rest to be eradicated. Keelah, it makes me sick" said the Cyborg.
"This can't be happening; something has to be causing all of this! Kerris, you have to know a way…" she replied.
"I wish I did. All we can do now is fight. It is imperative that we fight and win" said Kerris strongly.
"I know…" Tali stood watching Cortez work when a man climbed out from under the Kodiak. It was Kyson wearing only his jeans and boots. Grease was smeared all over his body while he laughed at Cortez waving the wrench around. But where Cortez looked full of joy and amusement, Kyson was laughing out of habit, like laughing at an obvious Joke that had been told a thousand times.
"What happened?" she asked calmly as she watched Kyson smear the grease on his face like ancient war paint while doing some sort of odd dance that had him clapping his hand over his mouth.
"He was spaced. My other-self helped Xen with the cover up. He was a threat to not just you, but the fleet. In my delusions I saw what he was going to do to our people, give them hope where I wanted all of them dead" said Kerris.
"Why did you help her?" she asked now worried she was so close to her once loved brother.
"After I was deemed exiled, Xen had somehow figured out what I had accomplished. She recruited me a few months later. I technically could call myself Kerris'Vateevah vas Moreh, but I will not take that name. I have ever since been helping her with technological advancements as I find them in my travels" said Kerris.
"You have been close all of this time. Yet you never tried to talk to me" she replied sadly.
"I'm sorry…" Kerris tried to reply.
"Damn it, I would have understood, you have been the key to saving our people this entire time…" she lamented. If Kerris had fulfilled his mission, her father might've never had to die or all of those aboard the Alerai.
"You Quarians are a strange species…" came a deep voice causing Tali to jump. She saw the strangest being in her entire life at that moment yet, it was oddly similar to something.
"Javik, it is an honor to meet you once again" said Kerris nodding to the alien. Tali saw a blue face with four eyes with strange pupils that seemed to make no sense. Yet this was not a Batarian who also sported the extra set of optics. This had to be a Prothean!
"Y…you are a Prothean?" she asked lamely.
"Yes, I am. Like I said your species is very odd. You hide behind masks not only to protect your bodies, but intentions" commented the Prothean. Tali was too busy studying the marvelous looking armor the alien was wearing before the words sunk in.
"What do you mean by hiding our intentions?" she asked slightly offended. She had always imagined the Protheans to be a majestic, wise people. Parents to all those who would come after them.
"I cannot see your face therefore it might as well tell me nothing. You can tell in an animal's eyes what it is thinking yet you bypass this. How can you be trusted if you cannot converse in the open?" asked Javik not caring one bit that he was being a complete racist.
"I…I thought Protheans were better than this" commented Tali shocked.
"Kerris here I approve of. I have been doing much research on you Male Quarian. The way you deal with threats is quick and effective" said Javik before turning to leave.
"I'm not proud of any of it…" said Kerris with anguish. Tali couldn't believe what had just happened. She met a real live Prothean only to be insulted by him!
"Oh, and one more thing" said Javik as he stopped to turn slightly back towards Tali.
"What?" she snapped in anger.
"Why do you have sexual intercourse with that filthy example of a Human? You cannot not reproduce together it is futile" said Javik. Something in Tali snapped at that moment. She grabbed the knife Kerris had given to her years ago went to plunge it in the ancient aliens face.
"Tali! No!" shouted Kerris.
A/N
I have had sizz, serious shizz.
I will be trying to get back into the swing of things now that I have internet again. Thanks for the patience!
Review as you will as always.