It took a whole month for Ryder's discharge to be finalised. Stepping off the Normandy for the last time was bittersweet. She had said all her goodbyes, she had drank all the booze she could possibly drink without getting alcohol poisoning. There was nothing else left to do but to get her ass off the Normandy, turn in her Alliance issued armour and weapons to the quartermaster and sign her discharge papers.
Ryder hefted her bags onto her shoulders and looked at the others. Teo, Solarin and Díaz were expressing varying degrees of bittersweet happiness. Teo stepped forward, she dropped her bags and let him wrapped his arms around her. "It's been good knowing you, Corporal."
"Not a Corporal anymore, it's Ryder now."
"Not till you sign those papers," Díaz pointing out, engulfing both Teo and herself in his big bear hug.
"Too tight," Teo choked.
"Don't be a pussy, Teo," Solarin teased and jumping into the pile.
Despite it being a little too tight for comfort, Ryder tried to etch this feeling into her memory. She wouldn't be seeing them again, ever. Andromeda and 600 years was a long way away.
"All right, all right, it's my turn," someone called out as they walked over.
The others released their grip on her. Hands clapped her back as they headed back into the ship. There were supplies to load and plenty of other things to do. Williams walked over, arms folded across her chest. "What? You're going to go without saying goodbye to me?"
"How could I?" she replied. "Chief."
"It's Ashley, remember that," Williams reminded her.
"Ashley, thank you," Ryder smiled, a lump forming in her throat, "for everything."
She shook her head and snorted. "None of that. You're going to head out into the unknown, discover new things and see new horizons. You'll be fine and you'll do great." A hand gripped her shoulder tightly before releasing when they heard someone else cleared their throat.
"What is this maudlin display on my ship? Is someone dead?" Shepard asked, chuckling.
"Come on Skipper, don't be like that," Williams teased. "It is a little sad. Our baby bird is leaving the nest."
"That she is," Shepard laughed. "That she is."
Williams tightened her grip on Ryder's shoulder one more time before releasing it. With every goodbye, her heart sunk heavier and heavier against her chest. With every hug, touch and smile, Ryder felt the finality in her actions. The last time she'd see the Normandy, the last time she'd speak to Ashley, the last time for every single damn thing she was doing. The launch date was fixed. She had training before that. It was highly unlikely they would ever cross path before she left the Milky Way for good.
This was it.
"Take care of yourself, Sara," Williams said.
"I will, Ashley. Thank you."
Shepard picked up one of her bags. "Come on, walk with me, Ryder."
Ryder picked up the second bag and followed, dashing away the tears gathering at her eyes.
Shepard stopped at the edge of the ramp. Ryder's boots made the transition from clanking against the metal ramp to thumping on the concrete floor of the docks. One stood on the Normandy, the other off. A line drawn between them, tangible and solid. Ryder stood before Shepard, facing the Normandy. Eyes wide, mouth open as words attempted to make an appearance on her tongue. They got stuck at her throat instead. Those green eyes regarded her even as a playful glint danced across them.
"You've come a long way, Ryder."
She nodded.
Shepard huffed softly, a smirk tugged at her lips. "I dare say you will be a great asset to the Andromeda Initiative."
She nodded again, grip tightening on the bag in her hands.
"Don't let your father push you around. Remember your time on the Normandy, your time on Janus and everything else before that. You earned all of it on your own. Whatever you do after this, over in another galaxy, just remember that."
"Commander…" her voice broke.
"Come on Corporal, straighten that spine. Nobody's dead. You are going to embark on the greatest adventure of all time." Shepard put a hand on her shoulder. "And, it's not Commander to you anymore. It's just Shepard, Riley Shepard."
Ryder bowed her head for a moment to master her emotions. When she looked up, she took a deep breath. "Shepard, thank you." Her face crunched up despite her efforts not to cry. "Thank you for everything."
"Do us proud, Ryder."
"I will, I will."
And that was that.
Scott had gone on ahead of her. He sent almost daily messages. The messages were filled with details of the various people on the Pathfinder team, telling her about the training they went through with their father, how cool the new gear were. On and on and on it went. And he, by the way he was talking, Ryder knew he had his eye on their father's second — one Cora Harper, the ex-asari commando.
There must be a story there. How does a human get to join the Asari Commandos?
Her smile slid off her face as she shut the screen off. Apprehension curdled in her gut, she didn't relish going back under her father's heel. Her autonomy since enlisting was the best thing about leaving home. She pulled on her boots and walked out of the tiny hotel room she had booked for the night. Her shuttle out to Theia station wasn't till tomorrow. With their family home listed, her stuff packed and shipped ahead to the station, she was at loose ends.
It was strange to be dressed in civvies. She missed the weight of her pistol strapped to her thigh. Thankfully her amp was her own, unlike some biotics who had to turn in theirs. Her hand rubbed the small lump at the back of her head. It was her mother's gift to her.
This was her last night on the Citadel. She was going to make it count, she had goodbyes to say to the only real home she ever had.
"Lie still," Carlyle said.
Ryder took a deep breath and keep herself as still as possible. Orange scan lights swept over her body a couple of times.
"All done."
The med-bay was small, just two beds, a treadmill, some equipment and a wall length screen with images of body scans and all kinds of other information thrown up on it. She spotted a few other technicians and doctors working at the other end of the room. An asari doctor in a white coat caught her watching and smiled. Ryder, feeling self-conscious, nodded back.
Turning back to Carlyle, the scanner was building a 3D image of her body on the holo-screen. Layer by layer, bones, muscles, nerves and skin. He came around and touched her amp with a hand. "How's the amp? Still working well?"
"Yeah, it served me well in the Alliance. There were a few close calls, but it had never let me down."
"I remember how brave you were when you had it put in," Carlyle remarked.
Ryder chuckled. "I don't really remember that day. All I remember was the constant bed rest and fever."
"I don't expect you to, Sara," he laughed. "But gods it makes me feel so damn old. You're already 22."
It was whiplash not to be referred to by her last name. After all, she spent four years being Ryder and now there was only one Ryder, her father. She was just Sara again.
Ryder eyed the doctor. Sure, there were lines across his forehead and finer ones at his eyes but there was a spark of amusement clear in his eyes. "You're not old, Doc."
"Call me, Harry, please," he mock-pleaded. "For my sake."
"Sure thing, Harry," Ryder said. "Am I cleared? I'm sure all my old wounds have all healed up nicely."
"You, Sara," Harry said, "are at the peak of your health. A elevated cortisol level but I'm guess it's from the stress of making such a big decision." He swiped his finger across his datapad and her omni-tool buzzed. "There, all your medical paperwork has been submitted."
She hoped off the bed and pulled on her boots. Harry grinned and stretched a hand out at her. "Welcome to the Andromeda Initiative."
"Thank you."
Ryder glanced over her shoulder. The head of Nexus security eyed her with a frown that folded her brow in half. The deep scar cutting across her face made her look intimidating. Kelly reminded Ryder of the instructors she had at boot camp. All of them were sure she wasn't there on her own merit, leaning on the Ryder name. This, she understood. And it all felt too familiar.
One week on Theia station, she moved from trial to trial. Medical was the first, that she passed with flying colours. The others were mostly familiarising herself with Jien Garson's vision, learning about the ten year plan they had once they arrived, discovering the various jobs available and still needed to be filled.
Ryder knew she wasn't going to be a colonist. She didn't have the know how for it. She was no scientist. Unlike her mother, she just had no head for it. She couldn't grow plants to save her life, she couldn't tell you how ships flew beyond the cursory knowledge she had from the Alliance. She was going to be one thing and one thing only — combat. Outposts needed firepower and to be defended, Nexus needed security. When she learnt the Nexus was going to be launched a whole year earlier, she set her sights on getting on Nexus security. Biotics was her ticket, and she was going to lean on it hard. By securing herself a position on there, she'd be able to work apart from her father. Sure, leaving a whole year earlier than Scott would suck, but this was far better for her mental health.
This was a special try out of sorts. Kelly had made it clear she had the team she already wanted. "But do you have the team you need?" Ryder had countered.
Kelly's answering grin made her second guess the tack she took with who would effectively be her boss. Kelly's mismatched eyes hardened. "Go on, what are you waiting for?"
The combat simulator was ready. Ryder tugged on the helmet and clomped over to the starting point. Kelly would be able to see everything she did, plus Kelly had the aid of the computer to track her hit counts.
"Go."
Rifle in her hand, she entered the arena, a grin on her face.
The course wasn't big but with virtual enemies manifesting quickly, flanking her, Ryder had to be on her toes. Her rifle beeped, the heatsink spent. A quick depress of a button, and it popped and clattered to the floor. She popped a fresh one in, pressing her back against cover. The unmistakable whirl of a fresh enemy alerted her. Her hands jerked outwards, and it was caught in a stasis. Her finger tugged on the trigger, it flashed red and disappeared.
There was no scenario for this run unlike other training runs she had before. There was no hostage to rescue, no intel to retrieve. It was merely to show how she reacted in combat, how quickly she could react to ever-changing situations.
Ryder reaching into her utility pocket again. There weren't many heatsinks left, she had to conserve them. An enemy whirled from behind cover. She turned, arm raising as she pulled a barrier over herself. Bullets thudded harmlessly against it. As the enemy reloaded, she pulled at her core. Teeth gritted, she Charged.
Reality warped as space rushed around her. She extended her arm, omni-blade flashing to life. Buzzing and bright orange, she punched it through the enemy. It died with a flicker. Panting, she dove for cover. A series of enemies flared to life around her. They were attempting to flank her. Shit. As she stood to fire her rifle, the simulation died around her. The enemies winked out one by one. The virtual walls that formed the maze in the simulator disappeared.
Ryder pulled her helmet off and pushed her sweet sleek hair back into a pony tail. As she stepped out of the simulator, her heart sank.
Alec Ryder, her father, was speaking to Kelly. What the fuck is he trying to do? Her feet were rooted to the spot. Did she want to know what he was telling Kelly? Maybe it had nothing to do with her. After all, it shouldn't be odd for the human Pathfinder to speak to the Nexus head of security right?
Her father's voice was gruff and curt, his words punctuated with jerky hand gestures. Kelly's frown fixed, confusion rapidly turned to frustration. When Kelly's mis-matched gaze were levelled on her, Ryder's breath hitched. She was the subject of conversation. Of course.
"Sara, come here," her father called.
Like a leashed dog she had always been, she slung back towards them. No matter how far the leash was strung out, no matter how hard she tried to flee her chains, she was never really free.
Taking a deep breath, she stopped equidistance between the human Pathfinder and the head of Nexus security. Kelly squeezed the bridge of her nose as she grunted. "Ryder here, says you're being inducted into the Pathfinder team."
Her eyes snapped to her father's. Those grey eyes pinned her to the spot. "But—"
"He insisted," Kelly spat. Eyes glaring, her head jerked to face her father. "Next time, you two fucking talk to each other before she drags me out here to show me what she is capable of." Her fingers jabbing in both their directions. "If she wasn't your daughter, I'd would have taken this to Garson."
With that said, Kelly spun on her heels and headed back to her office, leaving the two Ryders standing alone.
Ryder frowned. "What the fuck is this? I did not want to join the Pathfinder team."
"I want you on my team, where I can keep an eye on you."
Anger ignited in her chest, her hands clenched tight by her side. "No matter, what I do, you just want me to be kept in my place. I'm never going to live up to your lofty expectations, why can't you just let me live my own life?"
Alec Ryder stiffened. Something flashed across his eyes. Grief? Resentment? Anger? Ryder couldn't tell the difference. She didn't know this man who stood before her. The uncaring, unfeeling man who didn't bothered to spend his time with his dying wife, the man who only confessed his fear for her when he thought she was asleep. This coward of a man who kept everything hidden and suppressed.
"Isn't it enough that Scott is on the Pathfinder team?"
His lips parted, and Ryder's chest tightened. Half expecting to be scolded, to be sent to bed with no dinner, to be belittled until she wanted to disappear into the floor, her shoulders rose towards her ears as she braced herself. For a long moment, daughter stared at father. His mouth opened and closed and eventually he said, "It's been decided. Report to the gym at 0700 tomorrow. I'll introduce you to the team."
And Alec Ryder fucking fled.
Ryder stared at his receding back, blinking at the sudden turn of events. It was whiplash. She didn't know what she was expecting from him, but this was definitely not it. Unspent anger just went nowhere but inwards. She growled deep in her throat and marched off in search of her brother.
"Come on, the Pathfinder team isn't that bad," Scott coaxed, bumping Ryder in the shoulder.
The cup in her hand jostled, sloshing juice all down her lap. She glared at her brother. He promptly raised his hands up in mock surrender.
There was limited space on the station, what with each and every Pathfinder training their teams on the station. Scott and her were bunking together in a single tiny little room. There were two small desks, one chest of drawers shared between them and a bunk bed, Scott got the top bunk. "First dibs," he announced when she came in to drop off her stuff. She just rolled her eyes.
Most of the other teams had been finalised for months now. Nobody but the Ryders could decided that they wanted to come on a one way trip to Andromeda on a whim. The turians, asaris and quarians teams were already working with each other for the better part of a year. Even Scott had a head start of a couple of months. She was the new girl, again. It was familiar if nothing else. The ground beneath her feet hadn't stop shifting yet.
"The others are really cool, Kosta, Fisher, Kirkland, Greer and—"
"Harper, I gather is the coolest right?" she interjected, she couldn't help teasing Scott.
The blush that crept up his face was telling but he frowned half-heartedly. "Of course she is, she's a biotic and all that."
"I'm a biotic."
"But you're different!"
"How so?" Her grin just grew wider and wider.
"You're… you're my sister," he blurted. "And she's an asari commando. There. That's why she's cool."
"Not because she's hot?"
"No."
"Not because she can and will boss you around?"
"No!"
"Not because you're attracted to her?"
"No, Sara! No!" He fumed, pacing in the tiny space between the door and the tiny window their room afforded. Ryder pulled her knees towards her chest as she perched on her chair, enjoying the way Scott was vehemently denying everything she said. "She's Pa's second in command, at least Pa wants her to be. So she's like our NCO. You don't fuck with your NCO. Well, I hope she joins, Pa says she hadn't decide yet."
"This isn't the Alliance you know, there are no fraternising regs," she pointed out.
"Fuck, Sara. Here I am trying to make you feel better. I think you are fine if this is how it is."
Ryder chuckled but her smile slid off her face. She had no doubt working with an ex asari commando would be a great learning experience. Plus, Kosta and the others sounded like great teammates. Her only problem was their commanding officer, their father.
Take care of your brother…
Scott hadn't noticed her change in demeanour and went on. "I'm beginning to rethink this whole joining the Pathfinder team for you. I'll never live this down…" His voice trailed off as he looked at her.
Take care of him…
There must have been something on her face because he came over, sinking down onto his knees to put himself level with her. A relaxed hand reaching out towards hers. She took it. "Hey, it will be fine. You've got me here. It will all be fine, you'll see."
She took a deep breath, her hand tightening over his, "I hope so, Scott. I hope so."