A/N

So yeah, this shit is a bit wild. But it will all come together.

Enjoy.

Chapter 20: Decompression

Kyson's POV

He could hear noises, mostly the shuffling of feet. He almost could say he heard his named call but it was fuzzy. What did bring him to his senses was his body being dropped to a stone floor. His breathing was labored, he could barely see but a few dull bluish lights could be seen. The voices began as his vision began to clear.

Red eyes were surrounding him. They all varied in hue but they were there. A few memories came back to him. Being dragged through tunnels, swearing upon his mother's grave how he would roast the overgrown cats for food. Then a punch to the head. The cat that had been dragging him gave him only a love tap but it made him see stars.

Then it talked. Kyson began to smile as he listened to the female cat tell him she was trying to save his life. Kyson had laughed like a damn hyena. He had gone completely crazy when he had sat down and smiled at the cat.

Eat me, he had said to the cat. Even if it was a giant leopard they couldn't talk. The cat had just rolled its large red eyes at him. He was told not to be so dramatic and follow. With nothing to lose he obliged, fully expecting the hallucination to stop and find his chest ripped open. He was in for a shock. He was met by others, they had begun to talk as well. They knew who he was.

Kyson had figured that the flash bang, Shepard and Tali...they had been nothing but his dying mind giving him one last hope as his leg was being ripped off. He was led directly to a small room that was a comfy temperature. If this was to be his hell, he would ask question. He was met with no answers. Finally, food and drink was given to him.

He spat at them in contempt. He knew he had to be dead. So why not have some bread and water. It was then he figured he had blacked out. They had given him a drug.

"Kyson Sorley you are awake at last." said a giant cat standing at least fifteen feet tall. Kyson saw the pure white fur with the braided mane. It was truly a sight to behold, even if it was a dream caused by shock.

"You...you drugged me, you fucking fur ball." grunted the Human as he tried to find his voice. The lion somehow managed a soft, sympathetic smile. Kyson didn't want any of it. He spat at the giants feet.

"I won't be lured into a false sense of security. You are nothing but strange demons in my head. If I'm dead, I'll see hell my own way thanks." snapped Kyson. The cat looked at him with amusement.

"I can assure you, you are not dead. Look up behind you left shoulder." said the giant. Kyson eyed the cat with suspicion. He quickly looked, a window with many cats in clothes were watching him. And so were his family. John was there with crossed arms. Liara looked like she was going to jump through the glass.

"That's Tali. Hey, let me see her!" he demanded as he looked back at the giant.

"Not yet, my friend. For you are in danger that far exceeds your ability to fight." said the lion.

"Oh yeah? And who are you to know this? You wanna know what danger looks like? Try watching a galaxy burn as giant machines destroy all known advanced life. That is danger." rebutted Kyson.

"I am Asa-fum. And my people before you, are the Oomari. And we have a great deal of experience." was the response.

Kyson glared at the cat holding him prisoner. He was about to curse more until his brother appeared, staring up at the giant Asa-fum. The figure had clenched fists that were trembling.

"I don't like this one bit Kyson. These creatures are shifty looking. Whatever they say, it is to keep you here." Said Kevin through clenched teeth. Kyson chuckled.

"What is so funny?" asked the giant cat.

"I have this little voice that says you can't be trusted. Normally I ignore that voice, but he sounds pretty sure of himself this time." laughed Kyson.

"Kyson, keep your mouth shut. If you want to get out of here alive. Be quiet!" snapped Kevin who was staring at him now.

"Shut up Kevin. I'm already dead damn you." said Kyson not caring anymore if anybody heard him replying. He was still convinced he was dead.

"You fucking fool! You will be tortured! You see that chamber behind this jackass? Huh? That is where they want you to be a little experiment!"screamed the older Sorley. Kyson just shook his head. He was tired of fighting. His bones hurt. His mind was getting more tired by the day.

"Let them experiment on me. I don't care anymore. Just shut up Kevin and let me burn in hell. Let me burn in peace." Kyson began to plead. The Oomari around him began to move uncomfortably as they seemed to grip their guns more securely.

"Don't do this Kyson! If you do everything you have done is for nothing! Think of Tali damn you!" said Kevin. Kyson laughed like a madman.

"Now? Now you worry about Tali? You, who told me that my relation with her made me weak. You, who made her broken corpse fill my mind as I wondered if she was dead or alive. You have even told me time and time again to end my life! Now you dare tell me to fight back? To try and run away? You always were a selfish cocksucker Kevin! I will no longer listen. I will suffer, I will go through pain my way!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. Kevin seemed to warp with anger. His face changed to almost black with the red eyes coming back.

"No!" howled Kevin so loud it made the room shake. Every single cat snapped its attention to the spot Kevin was standing. It almost seemed like they could see him. Something that wasn't lost on the figure of Kevin.

Tali's POV

She gasped as the figure of Kevin suddenly materialized through her visor. The Oomari in the room jumped out of their seats, some hissed in fear with the apparition's appearance. Jekko, had his hackles raised revealing long and very sharp teeth.

"He is too far gone. If it can manifest like that, it has too much of a hold on his mind." said Jekko in fit.

"What?" asked Tali not believing what she was seeing. Kevin looked around the room before giving the middle finger all around.

"The fuck you lookin' at, filthy flea bags." snapped the apparition. Tali couldn't understand what was happening. These people could see all of this unaided. Asa held out a strange looking device. It looked like a flash light. Kevin puffed up his chest.

"You wouldn't dare..." said Kevin with contempt. Asa punched the head of Kevin with the baton making Kevin dissolve into a black mist resembling Khoshekh.

"Quickly, get Kyson into the camber." snapped Asa. Kyson didn't put up a fight. He was in too much shock to resist. The glass chamber was opened with the two cats who had brought in her bondmate carried him in. The door was sealed. Kevin kept appearing over and over screaming how he and Kyson were going to kill them all. Her love, he just leaned against the back wall with his head hung low so she couldn't see his face.

"We can go down now." said Jekko. Tali allowed herself to be led down to the train terminal. Only a single cat was there. Standing almost thirteen feet high with a gray coat and it was gorgeous to say the least. Black splotchy circles were scattered everywhere and instead of red eyes, it had the richest gold ever seen.

"Hello, Dehara." said Jekko in a polite tone. Before Tali followed the giant stopped her with a look.

"Don't worry ma'am. He will pull through." said Dehara. Tali was convinced it was a female due to the soft tone of the voice.

"I hope you are right." admitted Tali. Dehara craned her neck to the side as if stretching and flashed a wild looking grin.

"He will. I have a feeling." said the gorgeous cat. Tali thanked Dehara before walking into the room where Kyson was being held. Many of the cats were talking about how crazy it was that someone with Khoshekh would just appear on their planet. When Tali walked in the voices fell silent. Tali kept a tight fix on the chamber holding Kyson. She still had her visor on and Kevin was still banging at the glass with fury. She was cut off by Asa.

"We need your help, Tali. We will need you to guide Kyson in this process. We developed long ago a way to remove Khoshekh from its hosts. But, without something for him to hold onto he may not make it." said Asa-fum in a sad voice.

"Why? Will it kill him?" she asked. She felt sick for this was all so insane. But, if these giants knew a way spare Kyson from the same fate as Kerris...

"If he fights but doesn't win. We are obligated to kill him. If Kyson wins but his mind is shattered, we will kill him out of mercy. But there is one other option. He fights, and wins. He rejects the influence if the darkness and he is the man you fell in love with. You know what Kerris looks like." reminded Asa at the end. Tali nodded glumly.

"All three of you please go up to your friend. Ignore this 'Kevin' person. It is the form Khoshekh chose from Kyson's mind to manipulate." said Asa-fum. Tali looked past the cursing and screaming figure and saw Kyson was not moving a muscle.

"And commander, this thing. Khoshekh. It is the creature we have been hiding from all of these years. You should be more afraid of this than anything else." said Asa as he gently pushed Tali forward. She looked at the great cat who had a very regal way of standing. He nodded in understanding.

"Enough of this Asa, he is obviously too far gone. Look how the Human trembles in that back? Look how much control the darkness has?" said one of the elders. Asa growled with irritation.

"Our scouts who brought him here say he can still be saved." replied the regal lion. The woman who had her doubts chuffed loudly.

"They are mistaken. He should be put down so we can be rid of this piece of Khoshekh." said the woman who got several agreements from the soldiers gathered. Tali felt like it was her trial all over again, but she was literally on the other side of the glass it seemed.

"We do not believe we are wrong. I saw something happen between Kyson and Tali. You know as well as everyone here how Quarians can bond. It is even more so with these two. What if I told you they can speak just as loudly with their minds as us?" asked a soldier. Tali couldn't recall if it was a cat she had seen before.

"You are making this up. It is not possible, despite the similarities the Quarians have to our ways." said the obstinate leader. Tali had heard enough.

"What do you have to lose if we try?" she asked as she moved towards the chamber. The female elder looked down at her like she was nothing more than a toy.

"A waste of time and resources. If we are to try and save him, the power required could jeopardize our secretive existence." answered the angry woman. Tali understood the gravity. A race didn't stay hidden like this by taking risks.

"We are going to try. I trust the judgment of my scouts. I will take full responsibility if anything happens." replied Asa. The woman scoffed and held a hand to her chest as if she had been moved by his words.

"Well now, that surely settles all of my doubts. As we are found and eradicated I will rest easy that you take the blame." the woman snapped. Tali was starting to reach for her shotgun. The way the other cats were beginning to growl made her think that one well-placed shot would stop the bickering and get this 'process over with.

A loud crack was heard by the old looking cat with the staff. He had smacked the stone so hard a crack had formed in the stone floor. Tali moved her hand away from her gun. It wouldn't do a damn thing.

"We will proceed. I wish to see this evil our ancestor faced so long ago." said the old man with a high crackling voice. The female looked at the old man before bowing and stepped back. That didn't stop the angry look Tali received. Tali was motioned by the old man and she wasted no time. She walked right up to the chamber. She was met by Kevin.

"Hey, Tali! Why don't you let these kitty cats get what they deserve and open this here chamber. I will never bother Kyson again if you do..." whispered the apparition quickly. Tali looked back at Asa for she wasn't sure what to do next. One of the technicians spoke on her right.

"They can hear everything you say in there. We have learned that Khoshekh relies on powerful memories in order to manifest. Our chamber here can pinpoint the ones Kyson has attached this creature to. We will be jogging his memory and seeing those memories for ourselves." explained the tech. Tali was amazed at what he was suggesting.

"You are telling me we are going to watch Kyson's thoughts?" she asked in amazement. The tech nodded.

"Yes, but for this to work we need a guide. Someone who knows him better than most. That would be you. When we reach the vital memories you will need to keep him on track. Are you ready ma'am?" asked the second tech. Tali looked back at the chamber. Kyson was shaking his head muttering something.

"Kyson, are you ready?" she asked. His head popped up with a thousand yard stare. He looked like a cornered animal who was about to be devoured. Fear and despair were the only words that could be used to describe him now.

"Tali, if...if this is real. If you see what I think you might...I am sorry." said Kyson with a trembling voice. Tali felt sick. This process was what Kyson would fear the most. He always said that the mind was the most sacred place of any person. Free will was the most important thing ever to happen. But more than that the ability to be free of mind and soul. No one was entitled to another person's thoughts. And here he was, about to have his mind on display.

"Whatever it is, it is nothing compared to letting you die." she said trying to be brave.

"Beginning mapping." said the first tech. Tali watched as a red glow came from the top of the tank. It seemed to fall on Kyson in thick layers as the tank filled with this sticky light. Kevin walked up to her again. With a scowl so fierce she took a step back.

"So be it. But Kyson will always be mine even till death." said the figure. The machine was causing more colors to wink into existence like the fireflies back on Earth flickered in the night. Kevin laughed chuckled softly as he looked at Kyson. (The frail-Remix version: By Nine Inch Nails)

"You can't have him. And even if he does make it out of here, I'll make sure you never want to touch him again." laughed Kevin as the colors began to swirl like a vortex. Kevin just kept laughing as he was swept away. All the colors Tali had ever seen and more began to flash before her. Sound came as white noise at first but then became a blur of voices, music, gunshots, and any manner of things.

"We are nearly there. We have five main points showing where Khoshekh has a hold. We can coax his mind in the general direction but you need to ask him to point out what he remembers and what Khoshekh has changed. We are coming on the first memory." said the tech as the colors seemed to freeze. Slowly an image was forming. She could see a figure sitting.

"Locking in...now" said the second tech and the chamber became like a giant move screen. Kyson was sitting on a chair in the dining room of the old Sorley house. Tali could see that he was very young, maybe ten years old. Both of his parents were there for he could remember the pictures of Mrs. Sorley. Luke was leaning against the back wall with a glass of whiskey in his hand while his mother leaned against the sink.

"I told you to clean up your act. But my word isn't good enough is it?" snapped the woman in a shrill voice. Kyson just stared at the wooden table with a blank stare. Tali looked at the techs, they nodded for her to reach out to him.

"Kyson, its Tali. Can you tell me what is happening?" she asked. The little boy looked in her direction. In a still high voice of youth he replied.

"This was the night I realized my mother was someone I couldn't trust." said the child who looked back at the table.

"I had to get your father back here from deployment. Do you even recognize how much trouble you are in? My son, saying the things you did! You are the child, and you do not talk back to your teachers. But you just can't keep your damn mouth shut can you?" said Mrs. Sorley. Kyson just stared on. The woman slammed a fist on the table.

"Answer me damn it!" screamed the woman.

"It's not my fault my teacher can't handle an eleven year old." replied Kyson.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" asked the woman.

"It means she asked me why I wasn't doing my homework. I told her it was pointless. I already knew the material and had found better uses of my time." answered Kyson. The woman looked shocked.

"She told me that I didn't know any better. That I needed all of the extra help I could get. Then I told her she was the one who needed help." continued the child. The woman asked what he meant.

"I overheard her talking to another teacher how she was getting divorced. And how my teacher had cheated on her husband just for attention. So when she got in my face I reminded her that she was in no position to lecture me if she couldn't even control her own actions and selfish impulses. She left that part out didn't she?" asked the young Kyson. The woman looked mortified. Luke began to laugh.

"Serves the bitch right." said the young looking Luke Sorley. The woman slapped Kyson across the face making him almost fall out of the chair.

"Amelia! What the hell do you think you are doing?" asked Luke who had become more focused on his surroundings. Tali could swear she could feel the hand print on her face.

"Kyson, did this really happen to you?" asked Tali. The boy nodded in response.

"You don't know why she did it, you are a child and you do not talk about other people's business!" screamed Amelia. Kyson looked his mother directly in the eyes.

"So you are saying it would be acceptable to do the same to dad? That it is okay what she did? I know you can't stand that he stayed in the military. All the time alone with us kids." said Kyson who sounded very cold for a child.

"How dare you!" said Mrs. Sorley in a trembling voice full of disgust and anger.

"I have heard you say how much you resent us being born. That we are more trouble than we are worth. I know you hate Teagann most of all, for making you so sick when you were pregnant." said Kyson with hate in his eyes. Amelia Sorley grabbed a pan from the sink and lunged at Kyson right before she hit the child Tali spoke up.

"Kyson! It's just a memory! Move!" she snapped. The boy tried to but Kevin appeared and held him in place. The pan collided with his right shoulder and a loud popping noise could be heard. The boy passed out on the floor. Luke had dropped his glass with a loud shatter.

"Kyson! Wake up! Please, I'm right here this isn't real." she said in a panic. Kevin laughed at her, but the adult Kyson, wearing Jeans and a ratty T-shirt walked into the scene. He looked at Tali with a cig hanging from his mouth.

"My teacher got fired. She was not only cheating on her husband and sleeping with another teacher. My mom was never one to listen to facts. My dad tried to cover as social services asked about my dislocated shoulder." said Kyson as he looked at Kevin who was smiling.

"Kyson. Kevin is not real either. Not in the way you think. You have to see him as Khoshekh. For what he really is." she said. Kyson looked at the figure of Kevin.

"See, I'm just Kevin. Nothing special to see here. Don't forget that it was me who threatened mom that I would kill her if she ever touched you again." said Khoshekh. Kyson Looked at Tali, then back at the monster.

"I know you ain't my brother." snapped Kyson. And with that admission Khoshekh took its real form. The cats behind Tali gasped in horror.

"I have known for a while, but I didn't know what to do. So I just went along for the ride. But..." Kyson stopped as if something was keeping him form talking.

"Kyson, if you can tell the difference, why does it have such a hold on you?" she asked trying to keep him on track.

"Because I have felt like I have deserved it. I have earned a place in hell a hundred times over. I guess I can't let go." he replied with a wry smile.

"Then fuck your mom! She was a horrible person. She belongs in the past Kyson." said Tali who was full of anger.

"She wasn't all bad. Not at first...they say having children changes you. In her case it made her worse." said Kyson sadly.

"No. She made that choice. You tell me that we all have choices, and she chose to let life become too heavy on her heart." she said. Kyson looked at Khoshekh. Kyson smiled at the monster before walking out of the scene. The tank became rapidly changing snap shots of Kyson's life. None lasted long enough for any of it to make sense.

"Good work, it almost seems like he knows the way to freedom. I have never seen that in any race outside of ours." said one of the techs.

"What do you mean?" asked Liara.

"We have always fought with this darkness. Other races long ago fell prey as well. We developed this last ditch effort to save our people. We knew that if we started to become corrupted we would come here and separate ourselves. The other races who tried this couldn't see past their memories and only let Khoshekh guide their minds down its twisted path." replied Asa.

"First point is clear. We are about to move to the second." said tech one.

"Just because the first memory was so easy doesn't mean you are in for simple ride. Be cautious. If you are to forceful you could drive Kyson away. His memories are only his perspective. He has believed his own assumptions like any other person does." said Jekko who had shown up. Tali nodded.

The next scene was very familiar looking. It was an apartment on Illium. A much more recognizable Kyson walked in from a hallway on the right. A red headed woman with long curly hair could be seen dancing to music. The look on Kyson's face showed that he was in love.

"Is that...Cynthia?" asked Tali. The woman was beautiful. The way she twisted and turned like it was nothing but her natural state.

"Yes, it is." said Kyson who seemed lost in his memory. Tali could see how he looked at her and felt slightly jealous.

"Hey babe, did you just get back?" asked Kyson. Cynthia quickly sprung over to Kyson and wrapped herself around him.

"Yes. I had a great time shopping! Did you get the new job?" she asked. Kyson smiled like an idiot.

"I did! We made it babe. We are completely legit! No more scummy Earth! No more Tenth Street Reds, no more of living in the gutters! We are free now!" laughed Kyson as he picked up Cynthia and twirled her around the room. Tali watched as the two laugh and kiss each other for several minutes. She looked away from the chamber. She was clenching her fists in anger. She knew she wasn't the first for Kyson but seeing that he said such similar things to her; she found herself becoming resentful. A person came to stand next to her. It was Shepard.

"Keep watching." said John calmly. Tali had to force herself to look.

"Come on, I have a surprise for you!" said Kyson. Tali watched as the young couple went to the master bedroom. Kyson had set up a small table. A white cloth was flowing in the breeze of the open window with a bottle of wine waiting to be opened.

"Kyson! You are such a romantic." laughed Cynthia as she stepped gracefully into the room.

"They all say that..." said Kyson as he smirked. Cynthia put her hands on her hips and gave a fake pout.

"You're mine now. I won't' let any woman get in my way." said the red headed woman. Kyson smiled.

"Open the wine babe and let it breathe a little. I will get the steak." said Kyson.

"You got actual steak out here? How did you do that?" she asked. Kyson just winked as he walked out to the kitchen. Tali saw how happy he was as he got the food out of the oven. He prepared the plates and began to make his way back. The next scene took Tali's breath away.

The plates fell to the floor with a crash. A blond woman was with Cynthia. There was a gun against Cynthia's head as tears washed down the freckled face. It was Samantha.

"Samantha...what are you doing?" asked Kyson. The woman smiled back.

"You didn't think you could take money from the Reds and get away with it did you?" asked the blond woman. Kyson just stood there frozen in fear. Cynthia cried as she looked at Kyson. She wanted to be saved.

"You didn't think you could leave me? Did you?" asked Samantha who now had a face full of anger.

"Samantha, please don't..." began Kyson. Samantha turned Cynthia to the side so the barrel of the gun was at the back of the head. She pulled the trigger. Blood and brain matter showered over Kyson's face. Tali felt like she was going to throw up. She could hear Jekko exhale sharply as he turned away from the chamber.

"That was for the Reds." said Samantha before she hopped out of the window. Kyson fell to his knees.

"No...Cynthia?" he called out as he picked up her body. She lay in his arms with a face frozen in fear. A blood rose had been formed by the bullet leaving her forehead. Kyson howled. Vessels could be seen bursting in his eyes from the strain. Tali couldn't take it any longer.

"Kyson. Can you hear me?" she asked. This time Kyson didn't walk in on his own memories. The still horrified man in the chamber looked at her.

"Yes." he said weakly. Tali didn't know what to say. She kept looking at Cynthia who had been slaughtered.

"Is...is this what Khoshekh keeps showing you?" she asked. Having such a scene playing over and over again would drive anyone mad.

"No. I do this to myself. I must never forget how unprepared I was. I can't let myself forget her. It would be wrong to her memory. I was the reason she died." moaned Kyson. Tali began searching for the monster to show up. He wasn't showing himself.

"Then where does that monster fit into this. Kyson, you have to think. Where is Khoshekh?" she asked. The image in front of her went black. The sound of rain could be heard on metal. Lightning flashed showing the slums of Washington D.C.

"It's home." said John in shock.

"You know this place?" asked Liara.

"Yeah, I lived there once. When I was an orphan. We didn't have a single clean drop of water. No food to speak off." said John.

"Kyson, why here?" asked Tali as people began to move around in the memory. The moved in and out of buildings with something.

"This is how I met Cynthia. I was eighteen I think. We had finished a raid for easy products to sell. And a contractor wanted the people gone so he could develop the land." he replied as the image came into focus. A pile of bodies was being put into the middle of the street. A skinny looking red headed man was smiling with an assault rifle in his hand. Tali recognized him.

"Finch." snarled John with fury. Sure enough it was. He was smoking a cigar as the rain came down.

"Good work ya'll. Round em up. Take everything of value. After this is all over we are getting paid big time! Man, street sweeping...who ever knew it paid so damn well?" asked the gang leader. Many people laughed as they ransacked the buildings made of trash.

"Get up here you pussy! Hey finch, get a picture would ya?" asked a woman. It was Samantha who was leaning against Kyson. They both stood on top of the pile of bodies.

"Look like a bad ass Kyson. We are going to be in the magazines in the terminus for sure!" laughed the blond woman. A bright flash showed Kyson holding his shotgun in a pose. His face showed a scared boy who had lost his innocence.

"Nice one guys. Kyson, you are shaping up good. Glad we had our little talk. If my old partner were her he would be the first to buy you a woman!" laughed Finch. Tali saw John flinch.

"That old parnter was you wasn't it?" asked Tali in horror. John stayed silent. Kyson had lighted up a cig before wondering off to gather valuables. He turned through several trash filled alleys before ducking in a shanty at random. He saw a small camping lantern light up a small room filled with partially torn pieces of art on the walls. He shook his head and the sad state of things. Tali saw it then.

"This is where you sealed Cynthia's fate. If she had stayed hidden...well. Maybe she would have found a prince charming that had enough brains check their backs?" asked Khoshekh. The monster had begun to ooze out of the walls and surround the image of Kyson. A noise could be heard behind an old torn sofa against the back wall. A young girl jumped up with a rock in her hand.

She banged her head on a board used as a shelf and grunted in pain. Kyson fumbled with his shotgun as he nearly jumped out of his skin. If the girl had been experienced, Kyson would be dead. The girl was nothing but a ball of dirt and matted hair. She had bright green eyes that shone in the light.

"Please, I...I don't want to die." said the girl as she looked at the shotgun in fear. Kyson slowly lowered the gun.

"Kyson! Where did you go, love?" came the voice of Samantha. Kyson quickly looked out the door before approaching the scared girl.

"If you run, they will find you and kill you. You need to hide. Quick, get under the sofa." hissed Kyson. The girl did as she was told right before the blonde Samantha walked in.

"Find anything?" she asked. Kyson shook his head.

"Nothing but useless crap. None of these stained paintings are salvageable. Too much water damage." replied the young Kyson. Samantha nodded with a broad smile before leaving. Kyson waited several minutes before giving the girl an all clear.

He quickly shoved a fistful of credits into her hand.

"What is your name?" he asked. The girl hesitated at first, but she replied 'Cynthia'. Tali couldn't help but be a bit proud of her lifemate. He was a merciful man at heart.

"Was this when you met Cynthia?" asked Tali.

"Yes. She was so scared, and so was I. I couldn't shoot her if I wanted too. I just couldn't...she deserved to live." said Kyson. Tali watched as the image of Cynthia changed. She had the bullet hole in her head she would get several years later.

"You killed me. I was safer in the slums, Kyson." said the manipulated memory. Kyson shook his head.

"I know. And there is no way I can save you. I never could. I was a kid who bit off more than he could chew. And you paid the price." lamented Kyson.

"You killed me!" screamed Cynthia as she lunged at Kyson with the rock. Tali could see the red eyes of Khoshekh as it attacked Kyson.

"Can you forgive yourself?" asked Tali quickly. The memory froze. Kyson looked back as if he could see Tali.

"How can I?" he asked in a monotone. Tali looked at Shepard who was lost in thought. She had to help him.

"After I lost my team on Haestrom, I had to write to the families of everyone who had died protecting me and my research. Their deaths were because of me. Or, that's what I told myself. But, I knew that they chose to go on the mission with me. They wanted to go. And Cynthia, she took a chance on you. You took her out of the slums didn't you? You fell in love." said Tali. Kyson looked back at the frozen imaged of Cynthia.

"I did. I found her again a few days later. She knew what I had done down there. She forgave me when I knew no god would. Over a few months, we fell for each other. Samantha never knew. Well, until I fled and my fellow gang members sold me out." said Kyson.

"That had to be difficult. Yet you fought back." said Tali trying to appeal to his feelings about resilience.

"No I didn't." growled Kyson. The memory instantly changed to an empty building. It looked like a warehouse.

"Whoa, he just shifted and destroyed a link of Khoshekh by himself." said one of the Oomari Techs in amazement.

"No he didn't. The two must be linked." said Liara in a worried tone. Tali looked on. She could see Kyson standing alone smoking. He looked like he was waiting for someone the way he kept looking at the bay doors. And sure enough people arrived. It was Finch again. With several other people.

"Kyson! Hey bud, glad you made it." said Finch in a brotherly mood. Kyson hugged the man like it was just another day.

"Hey boss. You have those boosted bikes you want me to check out?" asked Kyson. Finch laughed.

"Nah, I want to see how well you can shoot a pistol actually." said Finch. Kyson stared at Finch before shrugging.

Better than you possibly could." said Kyson with his signature shit eating grin. Finch laughed and handed him a pistol.

"Okay hotshot, show me what you got. I want you to shoot those boxes fifty feet away." said Finch.

"I'll do you one better, I will call my shots." said Kyson as he sighted down the barrel.

"A regular Babe Ruth over here! Well do it then!" teased Finch. Kyson called every hole he made in the boxes making the other gang members silent.

"What the fuck do we have him fixing bikes and cars for?" asked one guy. Finch was rubbing his chin. The gang leader whistled loudly. Tali watched as two people were led in the warehouse. They had hoods on their heads and bound in rope. Kyson who had been smiling stopped.

"What the hell is going on, man?" asked Kyson nervously. Finch smiled like a shark.

"We had a deal go bad last night. We lost six guys and need some new muscle fast. And with that fine shooting you did, I think you are a contender. Ever kill a person before kid?" asked Finch. Kyson turned white as the hull of the Normandy.

"I didn't think so. Now, it's really simple." said Finch as one of the prisoners was put in front of Finch. The hood was ripped off and it was a woman in her late twenties.

"You remember her right? I've seen you tipping her at the Copper Pot. The strip joint we own. Well, she tried to take some more money than she was worth from us." said Finch. The girl just sobbed through her gag. Finch blew the girl away right in front of Kyson.

"Holy fuck! Oh shit! Shit you just killed her!" screamed Kyson. Finch laughed like the wretched devil he was. He put the gun in Kyson's hand replacing the empty one. The other prisoner was put in front of Kyson.

"Your turn. No more chop shops for you. We need a talented guy, and you have talent. But you are a pampered middle class pussy. Time to change that." said Finch as he took a gun off a lackey. Kyson looked at Finch with tears almost in his eyes. A gun was raised to the boys head.

"Your turn Kyson." said Finch in a serious tone. Kyson was sweating as the hood was removed from the other hostage. It was a man in his late sixties.

"Look him in the eyes boy." snapped Finch.

"See the fear? The way his tears of regret fall down his face? That could be any of us at any time. Just make sure you fight. Always fight. Never back down and this won't be you one day. Now pull the trigger." instructed the gang leader. Kyson just stood there for over a minute. Finch cured before he racked the slide on his own weapon and returned it to the base of Kyson's skull.

"On three then. It's you or him." said Finch as he began to count down. Tali was at a loss for words. The cruelty of this gang was horrible. She had heard stories about such initiation rites, but this...it was wrong! Savage. Khoshekh made itself known once again. Its full black smoky form coated Finch. It smiled as its corruption seeped down Kyson's neck and down his arm. It made the young man pull the trigger. A single shout rang out as the body fell to the floor.

"No!" screamed Shepard in rage as Kyson just stood there in shock.

"Yes, John. I shot that man dead that day. I had never taken a life before. It was me or him. That was the day I knew I had to leave." said Kyson calmly.

"Why, Kyson? Why did you join those horrible people?" asked Tali in horror. Silence, then a deep sigh.

"I ran away. I couldn't stand home anymore. I thought I had gotten a simple job fixing cars, but that road led me to the Reds. They make it feel like family, like you have a place and a home. Then, this." said Kyson mournfully.

"Finch was a cock sucking bastard the little shit! He always was Kyson. He was the biggest pussy ever and used others to do the real dirty work." swore Shepard who was pacing back and forth.

"I wanted to go home. I wanted to right every wrong in the galaxy that day to amend what I had done." said Kyson as the gang members patted him on the back before walking away.

"That wasn't you, Finch made you do that. You had a gun against your head." said John. The memory grew dark. She couldn't see anything but she could still hear.

"When I met Cynthia, it was on my second raid with the Reds. The thing I have never wanted anyone to ever see, that happened on my first." said Kyson as the memory shifted again. This time, it was dusk. It was hard to see in the dim light. Kyson was in a different area of the slums moving as quietly as possible. He was shaking violently as he clutched his pistol. Gunshots rang out in the background. He could be seen taking a deep breath before lunging in the small plywood home.

Inside the dark shanty was a man with a shotgun pointed at Kyson. It was a rusty old thing that looked like it couldn't fire a round without blowing apart.

"Git! Git outta here! You fucking piece of shit. You punks come in here killing and stealing like we have something!" shouted the man. Kyson looked rooted to the spot.

"Last chance, punk." snapped the man. Kyson began to back away slowly, but a person jumped into the room. A young girl. Kyson tripped over some trash causing the incinerate blast he had primed on his Omni-tool to go off, and hit the girl.

Tali began to cry silently as the girl screamed. Kyson just sat there on the ground as the man screamed for his daughter. Kyson shot the father in the head as the shotgun barrel came to focus on him again before fleeing. He ran for over a mile before he collapsed on the ground and began to throw up.

"I stayed there all night in the woods. I couldn't feel anything. I had gone numb. I couldn't...I couldn't..." Kyson's voice stopped. Tali saw that the chamber had nothing but the red glow from the beginning of the process. Kyson was right in front of her.

"I should have been brave, but I wasn't. I am a murderer, a coward, and the gutter slime of this galaxy. No matter where I have turned I have brought only misery." said Kyson. Tali was horrified of him. The fact that she had found a man like him.

A dark figure began to caress Kyson from behind.

"Good. We are not done. You see, Tali? You were right not trusting him the day you met. I do so love it when I'm right." said Khoshekh. Tali could see the resignation in Kyson's eyes as he was led back to the center of the chamber.

"No!" she shouted as she beat her fists on the tank.

"Kyson! How many did you kill?" she asked quickly. Silence met her.

"Hey, don't give in damn you. You have made it this far, do you want to be like Kerris?" asked John loudly.

"I only killed those three people on Earth. Every day I think of those people I killed and know one day I would pay for it." said Kyson. Tali saw how the only thing in the chamber was Khoshekh trying to talk to her lifemate. Kyson kept trying to run away but found nothing but walls.

"How close are we?" asked John. The Tech was so busy watching the chamber he fumbled a bit.

"I...I uh, there is one more link between the two. It is not letting us access the memory. I'm afraid Khoshekh is blocking it." said the Tech glumly. Kyson was looking at her now, his eyes were glowing red just like the monsters.

"Could you really love him after this, Tali? Look how damaged and poor he is. Bereft of a conscience for others he will always look out only after himself. He only knows how to hide the truths. Numb the pain and bury the bodies. Could you be his keeper?" asked Khoshekh who was using Kyson as a vessel now. The evil creature smiled at her. Even if it did die, it knew Kyson would go with it and bring her pain. Even when trapped it would find a way to spread malice. This made Tali furious.

"I would. And I always will be for I have my own story. My own bodies that I have hidden. And you know what you sick fuck?" asked Tali. She could feel the anger coming inside, it was ready.

"He isn't guilty of anything. His only crime was trying to find a way out. Each time it got harder than the last. Bad things happen, and they always will but you will not be the one to take him from me. He is mine, only mine. And I will be damned if I let you take him! Now, Kyson, what the hell is this thing holding onto?" she snapped in a strong tone. She was taking a gamble with her rant. It might make things worse.

The shadow creature began to laugh before it seemed to fall out of the Human. Those intense hazel eyes were staring at her with a soft smile.

"My brother. I think that is when it all began." he said.

A/N

This is why I started writing. I had to find a vehicle to represent my worst fears and I found it. The next chapter will show you what really happened not just to Kyson, but to myself. It has been a rough journey for me to recall some of the events but it had to happen.

Review as you will as always.

~RJ