a/n: This chapter has sex in it. Before you ask why, it's because I'm the author of this AU and I do what I want, lol.
7. virtue
In the end, they all came to her side, and her heart swelled with a fond affection for all of her soldiers. Loyalty had always been a hard thing to buy, a paradox in a city where temporary dreams were sold and consumed. And though she would have been the sort of woman that courtesans would have distrusted had she became one of them, there was a toughness to her as a guardian of Yoshiwara that attracted female solidarity. In warriors there'd been an intrinsic trust that comes from heavy scarring.
"Right," Tsukuyo said. "Two of you must head to the rooftop." Without wasting any time she gave the instructions to the rest of the warriors, mapping out a strategic plan to maximize the surprise.
Nobody realistically will ally with Hosen. He's burned too many bridges in Yoshiwara for anybody to hold favors, save for Jiraia - whom was luckily incapacitated for the moment. For years there had been talks of mutiny in Yoshiwara, but fear holds back anyone from challenging his rule.
-x-
Gintoki wiped his mouth as Hosen calmly walked towards him. They had been fighting for thirty minutes, and Gintoki knew if someone did not come, he would die. Hosen on the other end seemed to have boundless energy, as was expected from a Yato.
"Enough of this foolishness, human," he said. "Bow to me, and I will not kill you."
Blood was slowly dripping down his forehead, his eyesight was increasingly blurry. Gintoki was beyond tired, stretched to his physical ability as he stood in front of the Yato.
He laughed hoarsely. "You think this can go on forever? That... that you weren't gonna deal with this someday?" Leaning on his sword, Gintoki swore as a pain attacked him from his ribs.
"No country... shall be mined on the back of slaves... " he said, coughing again.
"To which I disagree," Hosen said slowly, his eyes glinting with anticipation as he lifted his enormous umbrella once more for a final slam, intending to obliterate this samurai that had vexed him for so long. Gintoki looked up helplessly as his muscles froze, certain that his life had finally come to an end.
And then someone had thrown a kunai in his eye.
-x-
"Tsukuyo!"
She was bandaged. There were bruises on her neck and arms.
But she was alive. And furious.
"DON'T - " (she threw knives at Hosen's wrist, bloodying them further)
"YOU - " (now his neck bled)
"DARE - " (and Gintoki saw his knees giving out)
"KILL - " (another kunai pierced his forehead)
"THAT - " (things were happening too quick now)
"MAN!"
Gintoki scrambled out of the way as Hosen stumbled, roaring with pain.
"Tsukuyo..."
"FIIIIIIIIIIIRE!" she screamed. All at once, thousands of kunai came out of nowhere, striking Hosen's back.
And then, the King of Yoshiwara finally fell to his knees.
-x-
The dust had cleared. Hosen was plucking the knives embedded into his body.
This is fine. My skin and body will heal.
But now, his arm faltered, as the first beams of sunlight hit his back. "What the... "
Gintoki looked up weakly, grinning like a madman. Blood seeped from his teeth.
The roof had opened.
"Joke's on you, monster," he said, and with the last of his energy, punched the Yato hard in the stomach, making topple all the way to the ground.
-x-
Gintoki handed her his sword as Tsukuyo met him in the middle of the square. "It's for you," he said. And then collapsed at the feet of the monster in front of her.
She stood three feet away from Hosen, whose skin was burning from the sun, peeling away. He was gradually turning into dust, and his moans of pain could be heard in the midst of a silent, but anxious crowd of courtesans. Both Gintoki and her were bruised, bleeding.
"Behold!" Tsukuyo roared, her eyes snapping with righteous anger. "Here lies a monster who has enslaved us women for his entertainment! He has torn away the legs of Hinowa, and locked her away in a tower for her crime of raising a baby!"
And with three steps, she cleanly lopped off his head. Tsukuyo raised the sword in utter triumph.
The roars of the crowd was deafening.
-x-
Gintoki woke up in a hospital a few days later. Takasugi was the first thing he saw through bleary eyes.
"Finally, you've woken up."
Immediately his body was racked with pain. Upon seeing Gintoki grimace, his friend stood up quietly. "Easy. You've just healed from a few broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and a shit ton of bruises." And upon a quieter admission that he hoped none of his soldiers would hear: "Thank God for Amanto medicine."
"But the war - "
"Our troops are here," Takasugi said calmly, his arms crossed. "In civilian clothing. Speaking of which, your girlfriend really is something, I've got to say."
"She's not my girlfriend."
"Sure. In either case, that red spider of hers is locked in my captivity. Katsura and Sakamoto are on guard; I don't trust my men to suppress him if he tries something funny."
"You mean Jiraia?"
"Mm. I think he might know something about Shoyou."
Gintoki leaned back into his pillow. "Right. As soon as I get out of here - "
"You're going to leave so soon?" The voice did not belong to Takasugi.
-x-
His friend stood and bowed to the woman, leaving the room to allow the two some privacy. "Tsukuyo-san."
"Thank you, Takasugi-dono."
Even with a half-bruised eye, Gintoki couldn't stop looking at her, sitting casually at his bedside next to him.
He thinks about how he's gotten to know how to get under her skin. Knows what makes her tick, knows what makes her smile. And he thinks she's worth a gamble or two in this fucked up little world, a wild card in a sea of monotony. She was the sort of woman who could make a man like him - a devil, harborer of destruction - fall to his knees.
"I'm sorry I look so fucked up," he said, his voice raspy.
And here, she looked stricken. "No. No, I'm the one who should be sorry." And she turned her head away. Gintoki was quietly touched to see a solitary tear run down her cheek out of sheer relief that he was truly alive.
"Are you all right?"
"Nothing that can't be healed. What about you?"
"I've had better days," he said wryly.
She wiped her eye quickly, and turned her face back to his. "I can't believe you did so much. For me. For... Hinowa. For all of us. You could have been killed."
"Yeah, well - " Gintoki grinned now, even though it came with a twinge of pain. "Don't you remember what you told me? Us samurai are like that, you know. We love throwing our lives away for stupid causes."
Tsukuyo looked at him straight in the eye now, even though her eyes were watering, threatening to spill into tears once more. "It wasn't stupid to me," she said quietly.
"I know," he said, just as quietly.
She was closer to him now, and he could see that her mouth was trembling. From what, he could not tell for certain.
He lifted his bandaged hand slowly and placed it reassuringly on hers. The gesture did not go unnoticed.
"Gintoki, I just wanted you ta know..." She paused, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "... That if Hosen had killed you, I would have never forgiven myself. Ever."
"I know."
"And you'd still be a greater man than any that I've met."
He cocked his head sideways. "Does this mean... you're warming up to me?"
"I might be."
At this, he had to smile. "Because, the person I remember a week ago would have, ah, forgive me, Shinigami Dayuu - loathed me. Maybe for a good reason, but I digress."
"I'm afraid I might be a complicated woman."
"Ah. Now, that is something to be afraid of. And yet, you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
She laughed softly. "I bet you say that to every woman you've been with." Her hand hadn't moved from his.
"Oh, do be quiet," he replied, smiling, finally leaning forward to press his lips against hers.
-x-
The only reward Gintoki wanted, in the end, was to be poured a drink by none other than the Courtesan of Death herself. Once he had healed appropriately, they had let him go from the hospital. Now he sat contentedly in a dim room while the sounds of Yoshiwara whirled around him. The laughter of courtesans would pique his ears occasionally. A lone shamisen not too far away played into the normal cacophony of the red light district.
She had dressed in traditional oiran garb at his request, and a lacquered ornament tucked into the bun of her golden head. A flower hung delicately on top of her hair, complimenting her blue courtesan outfit. It was a pleasant change, he thought, to see this normally fiery woman to be so utterly feminine. The silk doors had been opened to let the savior of Yoshiwara enjoy the view of the city, and more remarkably, the sight of the night sky.
After his second drink, he stood up. "Come," he said, opening his hand. She took it.
Leading her to the balcony, he gestured to the large window in the ceiling. "There's a whole new world out there, Tsukuyo. Come with me. You could be free of this city, of all that you've been through."
"You know I can't," she said, shaking her head, knowing full well she was giving up what most courtesans considered to be a lifelong dream. "Not when Hinowa is here. Our city... will be chaotic. I have to take responsibility."
His hand still gripped hers. "I see." He smiled sadly.
"What about your master?" she asked, even more quietly. "I heard from Takasugi that you were looking for him."
"Yes. Tomorrow I must leave at dawn," he confessed.
Now it was she who was disappointed. "I see. Well, in that case... I understand."
She tried to calm herself, but suddenly her eyes were beginning to collect tears. But Gintoki had never been a coward, and so she blinked them away furiously, clearing her throat.
It was silly to expect a man like him to remain in one place. And still, why did she feel compelled to beg him to stay?
Her hand still grasped his. "Isn't the moon beautiful today?" she asked. "And yet... I hate it so, for it once the dawn comes, it will sweep you away."
She looked melancholy. "I used to wish that one day, I would escape this never ending night. But this might be the one time where I wish the moon would never go away."
Gintoki could hear the meaning behind her words. Her sincerity sparked a tenderness that reached deep into his heart; she had touched him on a level that he knew he would never find again, anywhere else.
"... Me too."
She turned to him, smiling in the way that made it seem as if their separation was inevitable.
He couldn't help it then, finding it to be too lonely for words. He leaned towards her and kissed her deeply, hungrily - and found himself wanting more than what he already received from her. She sensed this, but not before reciprocating her ardor in full measure.
"We should go back inside," she said, breaking away from him, breathless and pink.
"Right..."
Amazingly, it was she who slid the doors closed. He dared not make the first move, awaiting her permission. The two stood in relative darkness before she sighed.
"If it would break your resolve, I would do anything to make you stay," she said finally. "But I know better than that. Nothing will stop you from leaving. And yet... for one night, I want to give you a beautiful memory, Gintoki."
She kneeled on top of her futon, slowly untying the knot of her obi. "I am yours, if that is what you wish."
He smiled. "Well, when you put it that way, how can I refuse, Shinigamu Dayuu?" He walked over to her slowly and kneeled across from her as well. In a gentler tone, he asked her, "Is this your first time?"
She blushed, but nodded.
He kissed the knuckles of her hand. "I'm honored. Truly."
Tsukuyo looked away, her cheeks still pink. "I figured it would be proper payment for what you've done..."
"Maybe." He grinned slyly. "But what if... I want to be with you more than once? What then?"
"Then... you'd have to come back, of course."
"I see," he said, neither promising nor declining anything as of now. Still, she would let him continue to do what they had been doing on the balcony. His mouth explored hers while his fingers deftly undid the ribbons holding her courtesan outfit together. Another hand of his pulled out her hair ornaments one by one, dropping them onto the plush carpet.
Before she knew it, he was already kissing her neck, which made her throat hitch at the unexpected contact. Tugging her clothes down slightly, he exposed her creamy shoulders and proceeded to shower it with light, feathery kisses which made her gasp for breath. She was startled when she suddenly felt his fingers brush against her firm, taut nipples through her clothing.
"Gintoki…"
"Don't think," he whispered. "Just let it be what it is."
She was about to reply before he silenced her with another deep kiss, tugging at her clothes once again, finally exposing her lush, full breasts. He cupped her left breast with his hands, savoring the feeling of her hard nipples beneath his calloused skin. Her breasts were just the perfect size for him— under his hands, he took exquisite pleasure in kneading it up and down skillfully as he pinched her nipples in between his fingers and circled them with his thumb.
No one had touched Tsukuyo like this before, in places that were usually covered and private. A spark of electricity - or was it fire? - shot straight to her loins, making her tremble underneath Gintoki's hands.
The kept on kissing each other, knowing that all that mattered was the sudden urgency to bring them closer than ever before. Their desire for one another would only increase as they found themselves becoming more aroused by the second.
Somehow during their exchange, Gintoki's own yukata had loosened. Tsukuyo couldn't resist from moving her hands everywhere in order to feel more of his body. She caressed her fingers against his stomach, memorizing every contour of his body, tracing every curve and scar of his torso. And yet, she stopped moving as soon as she felt his other hand move its way towards her thigh, making her crave for more of his touch. He brushed his fingers all the way to her sex, and she belatedly realized that she was already aroused and wet... for him.
Their tongues still entangled upon each other, Gintoki pushed her back further against the futon, which made her arch her back in order to meet his fingers that were now caressing her womanhood. She became addicted to the foreign feeling on her sex, letting out a loud gasp when he had deliberately stroked his finger on her clitoris.
With the sin of desire clouding her senses, she did not think of anything else anymore as she focused on making the two of them as close as possible.
She had never expected sex to resemble anything like this. The courtesans often made it seem like a performance, even a chore at times; this was anything but that. This was primal. Instinctual. Whatever felt good, she did without thought to whether it was right or wrong. Though she had no experience, her desire for him had shed any anxiety she might have once held before tonight.
And the pleasure coursed through her body once more when Gintoki had finally freed himself from her mouth and began to suck on her breasts, stimulating her already-hard nipples with every flicker of his tongue. She then moved her body towards him in order to meet him; she arched her back even more in order to give him more access to her body while she gripped on his hair as tight as she could. Her pleasure was intensified when his finger languidly stroked her clitoris, sending her to an edge that she had no name for.
But she felt, somehow that this was judiciously unfair. She wanted to be even closer to him. She wanted to close the distance between them, for him to be inside of her. She wanted to make him feel the way she felt right now.
Realizing this, Gintoki wasted no more time as he removed the last piece of fabric that shielded him from her entirely nude body. Just when his length was positioned at her entrance, he stopped and looked at her, as if asking for permission. Realizing this, she gave a slight nod and smiled.
It stung as soon as he entered her, gently pushing himself deeper inside her. He was trying his hardest to be careful in order not to hurt her, but he stopped moving once he heard her let out the smallest cry of pain. He then looked at her sympathetically after seeing her grimace.
"Fuck, you're tight— " Gintoki exhaled, trying to maintain his composure. "... You're not okay, are you?"
"It's so big," she said, wincing. "How does... how does this even work?"
He laughed awkwardly. "We can stop if you want. I'm really not that big, you know."
"No! Just... just stay there," Tsukuyo said, taking deep breaths. It was going to feel better eventually, she reasoned. And yet... part of her hesitated. It had originally stung and now it was reverting into a dull ache deep inside her. Even though she was wet and ready, would it always feel like this?
"Don't pressure yourself," he cautioned, still not moving. "I don't want you to do something that you don't want to do."
"No, I - please, don't get the wrong idea!" she said, almost panicking. "I want to do this," she said quietly. "Please?" she added.
"As you wish, Shinigami Dayuu," he teased her. "Let me pull out? I'll try something that I think will make it easier for you."
"Okay."
Wanting to make it up to her, he withdrew slowly and then pushed himself inside her more carefully this time, his length moving back and forth, shallowly entering her one inch at a time until she gave signs that it was acceptable to continue deeper inside her.
"Better?"
"Mm-hmm."
There were intervals, still, that he would have to stop to let her adjust to his girth. But eventually, she was starting to meet him halfway as her earlier discomfort turned into pleasure, her movements finally matching his own, their bodies moving in a steady rhythm.
"Tsukuyo," he whispered hotly in her ear, as he thrust inside her, hitting a spot inside her that made her knees weak. "How does this feel?"
"Like... I'm on the edge." He did it again just to see her gasp in unexpected pleasure.
"Good. Me too."
In the moments where he paused, just to kiss her while choosing to slowly thrust inside her and producing in her a simmering, slow burning pleasure - a vague thought would pass through in her mind like a flitting butterfly. How much of him did she really know? Was she simply another notch on Sakata Gintoki's belt?
But then again, did it matter? This was Yoshiwara, wasn't it? Was this not a city of dreams, a city of ephemeral pleasures where a man could escape from his troubles? She wouldn't be the first woman to give herself to a man, and she sure wouldn't be the last, either.
"Don't think. Just let it be what it is."
And as soon as she found herself forgetting these complicated thoughts and kissing him once again, she took into consideration all this:
Her tongue, battling with his own; her breasts, pushing against his chest; her nipples, brushing against his skin; their sweat, dripping on the futon and their bodies, the sensation of him buried so deep inside her, twisting it further and deeper that she was melting underneath his body; the sounds, their bodies slapping and grinding against each other, their ragged breaths, their moans and whimpers and tiny gasps of hedonistic pleasure—
The whole experience of it all only confirmed on how badly she wanted him to remember her. Giving her own chastity to him, she felt, was the only way she could give thanks. Because in the end he'd risked almost everything just to save Hinowa and her son. He had done it for Tsukuyo, and no one else.
And even though one could barely call what they shared a relationship, much less a coupling stemming from the relief that they were both alive, and vindictively happy to be that way too - it was okay.
If this was the closest thing to true love that one could attain in a city like Yoshiwara, she was fine with it. She knew she wouldn't be ashamed for giving up her womanhood to its savior. No matter what Jiraia thought about her, and no matter the oath she had taken to protect her city, she knew she would have no regrets. All of her admiration for him swelled out of her chest as she locked gazes with him, staring deep into his eyes; their bodies were still connected as they continued to push against each other. As his thrusts turned even faster and deeper than she could've ever thought she was able to tolerate, she knew that she was closer to the edge that she'd never reached before.
"Gintoki - I'm gonna - "
His lips dragged to his, suppressing her moan in lieu of a frenzied kiss. Instinctively, she knew he was close to the edge, judging the way his hips were bucking so hard to meet hers. He was thrusting in so deep that she could only open her mouth in a silent cry, barely able to breathe herself.
All of this proved to be too much and finally, her own body came at its climax as she felt her whole body spasm. Everything blanked out for a few seconds, her muscles contracting as she felt her body milking his length. She mouthed explicit words too filthy to say out loud; it was far more intense than she had expected it to be, with pleasure so piercing she felt as if she were going half mad from it all.
A second later, he pulled out, spurting his seed across her breasts, groaning languidly as he came. As soon as he finished, he collapsed into the futon next to her side.
Only the sounds of their heavy breathing followed shortly after, although the taciturnity was more comforting than not.
Still, Tsukuyo wasn't sure how to break the silence before he offered to get her a damp towel.
"Um, sure."
There was a moderately sized bathroom with a tub big enough for two in the room they were in. Gintoki, completely unconscious of his nudity, reached out for a silk towel and turned the faucet for hot water, submerging it thoroughly before twisting all the moisture out. He returned to the room next to her.
He turned to her. "Stay still," he said, carefully wiping away his semen from her body. "There, you're clean now."
"Thanks..."
"Not the most romantic thing post-coitus, but..." Gintoki shrugged. "Now I know you won't be pregnant."
Oh.
She'd barely given a thought to such things. Somehow she hadn't even planned for that possibility even though she knew, of course, that sex led to conception.
He read her expression and chuckled. "See? I'm not a deviant to knock up a woman senselessly." Shrugging, he pulled her on top of her while reaching for the blanket to keep her naked body warm again.
"I never said you were," she grumbled, but rested her head at the crook of her neck anyway. They laid peacefully like this for a while while he stroked her blond hair absentmindedly.
"Hey, Gintoki."
"Yeah?"
"Will you come back someday?" she asked seriously.
"Of course I will."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
-x-
a/n: Tsukuyo chose not to kill Jiraia in this AU, but she chose to defy him by losing her virginity, as he believed that her embracing her femininity would lead to weakness. I think the environment in Yoshiwara is neither bad nor good, but I doubt that it allows for little illusions of love, which is a theme I hope pervades through this story. Next chapter, I think, will revolve around Jiraia as Tsukuyo deals with a post-Hosen city.
As always, remember to review! Thank you for those who have been so patient.