Rain continued to pour down from the sky, and remembering how dark the sky was by the clouds when we flew back to the ship. I could even hear the raindrops hitting the top of the ship from where I was laying on my bed. The twins continued to have their backs facing me but I at least knew they were keeping themselves occupied with their toys.
How long are we staying on this planet? I thought Frieza said we were leaving here after the meeting with King Furry. The image of the commander ran through my mind and I turned to look at the wall, trying to think of something else. Forcing the image back like so many others. I don't think about that now…
"Maria," Travis's voice spoke behind me followed by a small tap on my back.
I looked back around, feeling a small amount of joy to have at least one of them acknowledge me, and was greeted with a blank look on his face. In his hand was my scouter that was beeping loudly.
"It's been beeping for a bit now," he said.
"R-Really," I said, feeling frantic inside for how long I was tuning out the sound. "Thanks for telling me."
He quietly said "Your Welcome" and walked back to where Lilly was sitting. His back facing me once again. I quietly looked back down to my scouter, trying to remember how to accept an incoming call. I put the scouter back on my left ear, my finger hovering over the button before pressing it.
"Maria," Zarbon's voice rang in my ear.
"Y-Yes sir," I asked quickly, tensing up on my bed.
"Lord Frieza requests your immediate presence."
I was about to ask why but the call ended. I sat there dumbfounded for a few seconds before finally getting up and heading out of the room. I muttered a quick goodbye to the twins as I walked out the door and made sure it closed and locked behind me.
What did Frieza want this time? As if meeting with him earlier and having to go along with him after seeing the destruction of the Earth's military wasn't already draining enough. But I shouldn't be complaining. Orders are orders.
You can't disobey him otherwise…
I stood in front of the door that I'm sure led to the room with the big window like in the Namek saga, taking a deep breath and finally opening the door. Stepping inside, I saw Frieza floating up towards the window as if looking at something outside. I couldn't help but grow curious as to what but for all I know, he could be staring at nothing in particular. I shoved those questions back and I bowed as expected and stood straight back up. My heart continued to pound loudly against my chest but I kept a false calm façade.
"You wish to speak to me again my Lord," I asked, cursing under my breath to hear the smallest amount of nervousness in my voice.
"What do you know of a symbol with a red bow and two r's," Frieza asked, glancing back at me.
Oh. He just wants to know more about this dimension. Great.
"…the symbol of the Red Ribbon Army," I said after a few seconds of silence.
"Is that so? Then I want you to tell me everything you know about them."
He went back to looking through the window. At least it was better than having his eyes staring right at me…
"Y-Yes…," I said carefully, trying to remember all the important facts about them. "They're a criminal organization run by a being who goes by Commander Red. Their power stretches all across Planet Earth but they were defeated by Goku who was still a child at the time. But before their defeat, they also shared your same desire of gathering the Dragon Balls to wish for world domination, except for the fact that the Commander wanted to use them to grow taller."
I kept explaining, mostly focusing my eyes around the room seeing he wasn't looking at me. I shot quick glances at him to see if he was paying attention and I assumed so by the way he was nodding his head.
"-he actually appears again after your death, seeking revenge after Goku and where he built a number of androids," I kept continuing. "Androids that were strong enough to be a match against Goku in his Super Saiyan form and he even created a biomechanical android with Goku and his friend's DNA including yours and your father's-."
"What," Frieza suddenly asked, snapping around to face me.
I jumped from where I stood and my body began to tremble as I feared I said something wrong to piss him off. Just stay calm, just stay calm. I began clenching my hands again and kept the fake calm face.
"Can you explain again who was even capable of challenging a Super Saiyan," he said but calmly this time. I sighed mentally but the fear still lingered.
"W-Well, only one member survives from the Red Ribbon Army by the name of Dr. Gero," I stammered a bit in the beginning and slowly regaining my confidence. "He created a series of androids and biomechanical android named Cell that contains the DNA of multiple fighter. S-Some of which were from your f-father and yours DNA…"
"And how exactly did this doctor even obtained my DNA if I never met him before he was introduced in your dimension?"
"…b-by little robotic remote tracking device disguised as a bug. It not only collected DNA samples of Goku's and the rest of the Z fighters and any enemies they fought, but it also recorded their battle data until they departed for Planet Namek."
He stayed quiet for a moment, as if trying to think what he wanted to say next.
"…how exactly is strong is this Cell compared to my final form," he asked slowly. Digging his nails a little bit into his arm.
"He is far stronger than you even if you were to go fully 100% of your power," I replied.
I prepared for any commentary about these news and what he wanted to do about it.
"Very well. That will be all," he said, turning his back towards me. "Do inform Zarbon I am ready to meet our guests."
"G-Guests-," I began to question but I stopped myself and quickly put two and two together. "I-I mean, right away my Lord!"
The door opened and shut again, and I was out of that room faster than I ever have been. So that's why he was looking outside the window. There probably are some Red Ribbon grunts outside the ship but what could they possibly want from him? They had to have seen the broadcast unless they saw it as a motive to gain an upper hand over the rest of their kind. Argh…why should I even care anymore? Earth is under Frieza's control anyway…I have no control to what happens to it.
I stopped walking and kept tapping my scouter as I ran through my memory from the book on how to activate a call myself. I pressed the button and cursed to see the scouter begin to read power levels where I pressed the button again. A menu of sorts popped up and I slowly read what each was saying. It probably took me a good five minutes before I found the option to make a call, and connected with Zarbon's scouter.
"U-Um…hey Zarbon," I said awkwardly, unsure on how to even begin this conversation. I don't want to do this. "Uh…Frieza is ready to meet the visitors…"
"Yes. I'll do so right away," Zarbon merely responded and the call immediately went silence.
…I guess I'll go back to my quarters then.
I turn back around and started walking in the direction my quarters was. My eyes were mainly focused on the floor the majority of trip. Occasionally I would look up to make sure I wouldn't run into any soldiers…and specifically to make sure I don't see a particular soldier. I don't think I can handle seeing him…I barely managed standing next to him earlier today.
I arrived back inside my room and headed straight for my bed. The twins silently watched as I laid down before their heads turned back to their toys. My exhaustion throughout the day hit me the moment I laid my head on the pillow but I didn't fall asleep right away. I laid there as I finally heard the ship begin to creak and groan before feeling the pressure increase as the ship shot out of Earth's atmosphere.
Everything quieted out after that as the ship sailed course to Planet Frieza No 1. Soon the room was covered in darkness as the twins now were fast asleep on their bed. I kept staring at the wall, my eyes growing heavy and closing them.
"…I couldn't do anything…"
I don't want to be weak anymore…
SOME. ANYONE. HELP ME!
I snapped awake and sat up straight up from my bed breathing heavily. It was just a dream…it was just a dream…
"…damn it," I cursed quietly, hugging my knees tightly and hearing Appule's last words to me play in my mind.
"Get plenty of rest tonight…"
I bowed my head down in defeat. So much to doing that and as if I hadn't enough to deal with from today…
I snapped myself awake after finding myself dozing off again. I didn't dare look up to see Appule's reaction to seeing me about to sleep during our training session and tried again to focus. One thing was for sure, it felt strange going back to my old training regime again.
I was sitting on the floor of the training room again and as usual with Appule sitting right across me, watching as I had my eyes closed, hands drawn close together as I tried drawing out my ki. Once again, I tried to continue to focus but the annoying buzz of the ship flying through space was slowly getting to me. Slowly, I was beginning to grow frustrated again and I kept spewing out curse words in my head, trying to stay calm from my lack of focus.
Okay, I can't afford to get frustrated right now, I just need to be able to control my ki. Simple. I just need to relax…When was the last time I had even slept throughout the entire night? I feel exhausted- no! I need to focus on trying to find my ki! Do I even have ki or latent energy residing inside of me? Stop! I need to stay calm too. Stop thinking about that stuff. Just focus on- what if I still can't find it when we get back to the base-?
"I think that will be enough for today," Appule suddenly said.
My eyes opened to find my hands shaking. I gritted my teeth, gripping my hands tightly into fists and almost about to punch the ground.
"Hey there is no need to look like that," he said. "You haven't trained in a while so don't push yourself so hard already. Besides, I'm sure you'll get a hang of it eventually!"
I glared at him, picking myself up and once again adverting my glare down towards the floor. …he did have a point though…as much as I don't want to admit it myself, but I did feel a little bit better about it. I still have time to learn.
"We'll begin with the usual stretching and warm ups, and then we can finally start on basic fighting techniques."
He surely sounds oddly optimistic but I shrugged it off and started the same routine. About halfway did I realize he was also doing the same thing. We made awkward eye contact for a brief moment before I quickly looked away and put extra effort just to focus on what I was doing and be fully awake. Why am I even surprised that he is also warming up? It makes sense before beginning any serious workout such as fighting.
"Now to finally begin," Appule said after we finished the warming up. "The first thing I want you to do is punch me."
"…w-what," I asked, the request catching me off guard.
"Punch me," he simply repeated.
I shot him another confused look but I obliged and rushed towards him. I shot my fist towards him with all the force and perhaps some anger I could muster. I shouldn't have felt so much disappointment in myself when he easily caught it.
"Not bad but you're not exactly, let's say "throwing", it correctly," he started explaining, letting my fist go. "It's not that hard really to throw a regular punch. Just watch what I do."
He took a few steps back so he stood a few feet away from me. He got in a generic fighting position and raised his arms up. I watched as the heel of his right foot raised up as his right knee bent forward followed by his upper torso and waist twisting. Immediately I flinched back as his fist came towards me but he obviously stood away so it wouldn't land on me.
"You got that," he asked, lowering his fist down.
"…y-yes," I said, praying my voice wouldn't crack as the weird feeling came back.
It continued to linger in my body a little bit after I began to practice but I did my best to ignore it, and forced all my efforts to practice how to punch as he instructed. I have to learn how to fight too just as much as trying to use ki. At least it was something I can actually improve and learn faster compared to the other.
Eventually we moved onto punching with both fists and working "on my aim" as he quoted. He actually was using himself as my target as I focused on my punches on either side of him. I would be lying to myself if I didn't want to punch him on "accident".
The rest of the training was uneventful with the only other basic fighting I learned was kicking properly and using the same routine as the punching one to practice. At the end of it, Appule was going on about bringing some sort of equipment to use for training when we landed back on Frieza Planet No. 1 but I didn't pay much attention.
"Hey Maria," Appule said. "Are you alright?"
"…I'm fine," I responded bluntly. Annoyed and confused for him asking me.
"Are you really sure because anyone can take one good look at you and see you clearly haven't slept in days-."
"I said I'm fine," I snapped at him.
My heart skipped a beat after realizing what I just did and I panicked a little bit but it went away quickly as it came. He stood there with shock but he opened his mouth to say something before stopping and looked away as if he was annoyed. He muttered a goodbye and I returned one back before leaving the training room and heading back to my room, and slapped myself on the head.
What I did was just stupid. I can't afford to snap at him seeing he outranks me and I'll be on the floor again if I do it again. Remember, I just need to deal with him during training and he unfortunately is my ticket on getting stronger to his level. That's if I can even manage to control my stupid ki in the first place.
My exhaustion from last night lack of sleep, and probably the lack of sleep of previous nights and today's training hit me like a truck. Argh…I can worry about my ki another time. I just want to sleep for once.
I managed to get back to my quarters without seeing a particular soldier in peace. Lilly and Travis quietly said their hellos to me when I entered the room. I quietly returned one back before getting on my bed with my armor still on and immediately falling asleep once my head laid on the pillow.
It was dark when I woke up again. I shifted around my bed to see the twins fast asleep.
"…shit," I cursed silently, plopping my head back down on the pillow and letting out a long yawn. "I overslept."
I grabbed my scouter which slipped off my ear as I slept and did my best to quietly press the button to check the time. Uh, let see, that number is a six, and this one is a three and the hour I think is four- it's 4:36?! What time did I fall asleep?! Crap. I haven't paid much attention to when I wake up and seeing I didn't eat anything before I trained- wait. I mentally panicked when I looked over at the twins again. Shit! What kind of guardian am I?! Not only am I a soldier who can't control my ki, but I can't even take care of two little kids! They probably didn't get any dinner today because of me! Is the cafeteria even open this late at "night"?
I groan and slap my hands over my face. It's probably too late now and I don't want to wake them up either. As if in cue, my own stomach gurgled as I realized I also hadn't eaten either. Great, so much of taking care of myself too. I glanced down towards the ground next to the bed where I still had the box laying around as I didn't know where to throw it away. Sitting right on top of it was a tray of food with utensils alongside them.
I quietly sat up from my bed and carefully grabbed the tray of food. No way had the twins gone in the cafeteria by themselves and actually thought to bring me back food when I woke up. Unless…damn it! I frowned a little bit on who else it could possibly be and took a bite into my food. It was cold by now but I didn't care as my hunger took over and I ate away at it in seconds.
I should probably thank him…
But why should you?
He didn't have to help me with the twins or get me food. I know I was rude to him earlier but he did help…
Why are you suddenly wanting to be nice now? You know this world doesn't function like that. You haven't forgotten what he did…
I didn't want to think about that anymore. I moved my mixed emotions away and set the tray back down. I sat there quietly for a moment before getting up carefully and slipping out the door. Paying no attention to the cold floor or the random stares thrown my direction from soldiers who were still up, and finding myself walking in the same rest looking room.
I sat down at the couch at the same window. Hoping to look out at the vast sea of space only to see a fast blur zoom by. After a few minutes of doing nothing, I held my hands close together and tried to focus seeing I wasn't falling asleep again any time soon.
Okay…just focus your ki into a small light between your hands. It shouldn't be hard this time. You're alone with zero distractions, just focus. Focus-.
A loud knocking from the door startled me awake- wait, awake? Crap, I must have fallen asleep again! I sat up from my bed- wait. When did I get back in here? Wasn't I in a completely different room before? How did I…? I grew deathly silent and quickly looked all over my body to see if I had any marks or if I was feeling pain down there. Hm…I don't see anything nor do I feel any pain so I think I'm good. Whew…
I silently thanked the Lord for watching over me but before I got up from my bed, I held my hands close together and tried to create a small light to see if I managed to pull it off.
Nothing.
I grimaced from where I sat, trying to feel anything in my body that would indicate to be my latent ki. Why…? I've already gotten used to my physical training, why can't I do this simple concept? I covered my mouth while I let out a yawn before going back and trying harder to focus. My eye lids feeling heavier but I kept telling myself inwardly to not be dozing off. I can't afford dozing of right now-!
"Tired again huh," Appule's voice rang in my head. I woke up from my doze and grew embarrassed for getting caught by him.
Damn it, not only did I doze off but why can't I still do it?! Sure, I didn't sleep well last night but the other night before I did! I'm not as tired as much so why can't I do it?! Why can't I control my ki?! It shouldn't be this difficult!
At the worst moment, I suddenly remembered Frieza's warning before we landed on Earth. I need to control my ki…I'm useless without it. I'm weak without it. I don't want to be either of those things…I don't want to die, I don't want to die- stop it! Calm down…Frieza won't tell someone to hurt me as long as I obey and get stronger…I still have time to learn. I…just need to get used to training again…that's it.
But you couldn't even do it for the month you have already been here.
"Are you even listening to me," Appule asked, raising a brow at me.
My thoughts froze and I stayed deathly still, staring directly down on the floor. I still have time to learn…I still have time to learn…
"…n-no," I whimpered weakly and growing smaller to my lack of attention. Grabbing tighter to my bodysuit's leggings.
"I would suggest you work on that. Not paying attention can usually get you in trouble here," he said after a few more seconds of silence. "Are you even alright right now? You're looking paler than usual."
I continued to stay quiet. I don't want to tell him, that's my own problem, not his despite the worry in his voice on that last statement. I don't want to interact him any further than I already have with training under him.
"…I'm fine," I finally said, a part of me growing guilty that I was lying. Why do I suddenly care now? I didn't care a couple days ago if I lied. "Just… a little embarrassed on the fact I dozed off."
I hesitantly glance up at him to see him giving me a suspicious look before sighing.
"I've been noticing that a lot lately," he said and started getting up. "But I'll cut the energy training short today seeing you'll probably doze off again and we'll try another time when you're actually awake" I laughed weakly as he said that last part even though something inside me felt crushed. "We'll just start working with your fighting now, but if something is troubling you or keeping you up, you know you can tell me, okay?"
"…yes sir…"
I silently got up and followed along his instructions but it seemed more like background noise compared to the thoughts running in my head. Has it already been a month since I entered this dimension? I scowled at myself to admit I wasn't trying that hard throughout the past month because of my original plans. Why was I so stupid back then? I need to try harder or else it's only going to get worse. How could I nearly forget Frieza's warning?! I'm such an idiot!
So much for giving excuses but you'll never learn at this rate. If only didn't he cut that part of the training short today.
It's only for today though…I still have time.
But how can you be sure of that? You don't know if being able to focus better will be the key to unlocking your ki. It's only a matter of time before he cuts it out altogether and then what? You know what the warning entails. A soldier who can't fly nor use ki…how pathetic. To go through one nightmare only to end up in another nightmare.
I clenched my teeth at the thought as it occupied my mind for the entire duration of my training. The world around me seemingly nonexistent. I paid attention back to the present when we tried my ki training again and concluding the same way as earlier mince dozing off again. Nothing…
"You know what I said earlier," Appule said as I was putting my scouter on my ear. I looked over to see him standing next to the door. "I really mean it Maria. I know we got off the wrong foot but you have any questions or having problems, please, come to me."
"…I will," I said quietly.
I stood there blankly as he walked out of the room. The sound of the door closing barely registering in my mind as I slammed my fist hard against the wall. A clanking sound quietly echoing in the silent training room. My hand stung as I drew my hand back to my side. I glanced where I had punched the wall and gritted my teeth to see I had barely made a dent.
"Damn it…"
The following "days" seem to go by forever but then again, laying on your bed doing nothing other than getting up to make sure the two little kids under your care don't starve isn't exactly productive either. The place time felt like it was going fast was during my training and I was growing more scared and scared attending them. A week of training and I still continued to end with nothing but I need to find it.
I stared up at the ceiling of the room after another failed "day", finding for once comfort of the ship's engine to avoid any silence, and with sleep evading me again. I can't really complain though, oddly grateful the usual nightmares weren't the main reason as to keeping me up this time.
I checked the time on my scouter. If I was reading this correctly, it's probably a little bit past midnight. Terrific… I quietly got up from my bed and exited the room. Making sure to lock it this time and reminding myself not to fall asleep again outside of my quarters.
Why do I always come to this room anyways? Plus, if this was some lounge room, how come it's always empty at night? I mentally shrugged to myself as I sat down, my own reflection staring right back at me from the window. However, the once comfort of solace slowly turning to a heaviness on my chest.
"…damn it," I choked out, covering my face with my hands. "Why do I have to be so weak?"
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm only still alive and useful because of my knowledge but the moment I had nothing else to say...I don't want to think about it. The heaviness on my chest grew heavier and my back creaked with pain.
I hugged my knees up to my chest, resting my head on top of them. I wish I could confide to the twins but they're too young to understand and I haven't been the greatest guardian to them. I couldn't go to Appule either or anyone else really. I have no one but I guess I have no one to blame but myself for that despite what I was telling myself otherwise.
I truly felt alone.
Appule stared down at his empty glass, motioning over the bartender to refill his drink. The bartender took his empty glass and he rubbed his hands over his face. Why the hell did Lord Frieza choose him of all soldiers to teach?
"Back at the bar again," a familiar and annoying teasing voice said to his right.
He cursed under his breath and turned his head over to see Nabana sitting next to him.
"Aren't are you supposed to be on patrol," Appule remarked back, holding back his smirk when Nabana shot him a quick glare.
"Very funny but you know patrolling around the ship is hardly anything worthwhile for us low ranks. Besides, this is what? The fourth time I have seen you sitting here at the bar? Is your student giving you trouble or something?"
"What makes you say it's her," Appule grumbled, taking his refilled glass and taking a sip, looking away.
"Well I saw her sitting in the lounge area of the ship staring out the window for the past few nights and I actually just saw her before I saw you in here."
"Wait, every night," Appule sputtered, nearly choking on his own drink. Jerking his attention back towards Nabana.
"Not every night but every once and awhile I see her there. You sound surprise from hearing that."
"…take off your scouter."
"What?"
"Take your scouter off. I don't want anybody, especially you know who, hearing on this."
Appule sat there, gripping his glass tightly, waiting for Nabana to react. He felt a bit relieved to see him take his scouter off and press down on the button to turn it off completely. Nabana then nodded his head, signaling him to continue.
"I'm starting to get worried about her progress with her training," Appule said, lowering his voice. "She's been doing fine when it comes to the basic fighting attacks but it's her energy or the lack of any signs of it that I'm worried about. She's been here for over a month and there are still no signs that she even possess it! I'm almost at my wits end because before we landed onto Earth, I gave my usual report to Lord Frieza about her progress and he was displeased at the lack of progress in that aspect of her training. You can easily guess what he said to me next…"
"Have you tried using the arm cannons," Nabana asked. "I heard those help some soldiers to fly-."
"You really believe in that shit rumor? Those lumps of junk only help soldiers who can't throw an energy blast. I heard it so from the annoying duo that is Raspberry and Blueberry."
"On the contrary, it is not a shit rumor because Monrei has told me it helps him fly."
"Whatever but going back on topic, even if that is true, I don't know if it will work on her as she comes from a dimension that can't fly in the first place. I really don't want to believe that she doesn't have any in the first place but the more I train her, the more I'm starting to panic."
"Okay but it can't hurt to at least try what I suggested if you're starting to run out of options. Try to be optimistic for once as I heard everyone has latent energy so maybe she does have it but it's called something completely different from her dimension."
"Even if she does, she isn't in the right state of mind to achieve it and I mean physically and mentally. I've been catching her dozing off and her moves feel sluggish, which based off what you said earlier confirms my suspicions about her and the fact she's up late at night. Hell, I'm sure her tiredness is a factor of her lack of progress."
"Perhaps but in a way you sound like a hypocrite seeing you right now up late drinking on nights you have to train her whereas she's up because she can't sleep due to what happened to her," Nabana said.
"Gee, as if I didn't know that myself," he muttered, taking another large swing at his drink. "But you and I have been working here longer than she has. I'm sure you have your methods for stealing quick naps and still trying to get a good night's sleep in a room filled with five other idiots or an entire hallway. She still hasn't even dealt with the work we have to deal with-. Wait, how do you know why she can't sleep? Not just that, but how did you correlate her staying up to me being here?"
Nabana glanced away hesitantly and avoiding his gaze entirely. He knew something alright.
"Y-You see…," Nabana said hesitantly. "Two nights after the incident…that's when I first saw her in the room and I may have "talked" to her. It was short and I did most of the talking but she did manage to tell me she couldn't sleep but not the reason as to why but…I already knew even if she doesn't know I know. Ever since then, every time I see her in there, I think about the night I talked to her and leave her alone. I even found her fast asleep there one night near the end of my shift where I carried her back to her room before any others could get funny ideas but I don't think any would seeing she's doing business with Lord Frieza."
Appule found himself completely speechless and questioning himself how any drinks had he already drank to see if he was hearing correctly what Nabana said. He felt a bit hurt and jealous that she would tell Nabana of all people and not him, her own teacher but he can't really blame her. The image of her looking desperately at him burned in his mind for a moment before he moved it back in his mind. Perhaps if he tried harder then she wouldn't hate him as much…
Then again, he knew the incident was at best the main source to her tiredness and force as to why she hasn't unlocked her energy. He just didn't know how to confront her anymore and he was pissed at himself for wasting so much time by doing so. That and along with coming up for a reason to explain to Lord Frieza for the lack of progress but if only he tried harder… Giving her space and helping her with those two little kids isn't enough anymore and her continued avoidance of him isn't helping her case either.
"As to your second question, all the others know you hit the bar late at night to drink your problems," Nabana said jokingly as if that would do anything to lighten the mood but it did annoy him.
"S-Says who," Appule exclaimed, growing red with embarrassment. His own doubts and concerns turning into anger.
"Says any soldiers who happen to sit next to you when you drink."
"Bastards," Appule whispered under his breath, finishing his drink.
Before he could tell Nabana where he can shove those words up, Nabana spoke up again but very quietly and his tone changing completely.
"You haven't noticed any…symptoms of…you know what from her…have you," Nabana asked.
"…I have," Appule replied, staring down at his glass.
I forced myself to get up earlier to get ready although I was tired from last night. After walking inside the bathroom, I stared at myself on the mirror, and grimaced to see how I almost looked like a zombie. The dark circles were more prevalent than before and my eyes were bloodshot. Man, I almost didn't want to get out of my quarters but I don't have much of a choice…here's hoping I can fall dead asleep the moment I finish my training for today. I quietly leave the room just before I nearly crashed into Appule.
"You're up early," he said in a weak joking matter, rubbing a hand over his forehead. He looked oddly tired today. "Didn't get enough sleep either huh?"
I glance down on the floor and quietly nod my head. I'm too tired to argue with myself on how to deal with him. We walk towards the training room in awkward silence but I didn't mind the silence.
"I was thinking today that maybe we should start with your physical training before we attempt your energy training," Appule said rather slowly. I glanced over to him in confusion but I couldn't read his face as his eyes were locked straight ahead.
"…okay," I replied, relieved I wouldn't start off my training as a failure.
Entering the training room, and dropping off our scouters, I started warming up immediately after. Feeling myself waking up completely after doing so before we moved on to some drills Appule instructed me to do. It was the same typical punching and kicking drills that reminded me of something from my dimension but I couldn't remember.
Though as we went through each drill, my nervousness continued to rise as we drew nearer and nearer to the moment we will move on to the next part of my training. I silently panicked when the time came and I sat down. Retaining the position I always have been doing and tried hard to focus and clear my mind.
I've been doing this for over a week now. What's the use of hoping anymore to see if this is the day I'll finally be able to get it? But it's not like I have a choice either. I can either give up or die. I don't want to die…I didn't get the unholy scar on my back and beg for my life all for nothing. How could I be so stupid? How can I be so weak? I need to find it.
"…that will be all for today," Appule said.
I opened my eyes, and glared down at my empty hands. It didn't even feel like fifteen minutes had passed. I still can't do it and another failure. I quietly stood back up, trying my best to hide my frustration and anger from him as I walked over to pick up my scouter.
"I…," Appule suddenly said but stopping as if he was struggling to speak. Though it caused me to stop on my tracks to listen. "I think it will be best if we hold off your energy training until we return back to the base or longer if needed…"
"W-What," I exclaim and quickly turn around to look at him. My heart almost seemingly stopping. "W-Why would we need to do that?"
No…this can't be happening…
"Maria, I can see why you wouldn't want to stop but really think about it," he said, growing more hesitant to speak. "There hasn't been any progress or any signs of your latent energy for over a month now. I'm not trying to sound like as if you don't have any because I'm not sure if there is an equivalent to it in your dimension or anything really because you haven't spoken much about it."
This is actually happening…it's really happening.
My hands began to tremble and I practically could hear my heart pounding loudly in my chest.
I told you. It was only a matter of time.
"Plus I believe what happened to you is linked to your lack of progress and why you've been so tired lately," he said sternly, the hesitation gone from his voice. I stood frozen, my thoughts growing faster and clenching my hands harder as they continued to shake. "I know you haven't been okay for the past week or at all since that incident but your behavior and how you're acting is only going to make you worse! I've been giving you your space but it's clear to me you can't do this alone! And don't try to ignore me either! I've seen how others in the past have screwed themselves other by pretending!"
Shut up…I want him to shut up…just something make him shut up…
He sees you as a failure.
I'm not a failure…I don't want to be a failure…
I stopped hearing what he was saying altogether. My heart pounding and my screaming thoughts being the only noises I could hear. I stared at the floor wildly, clenching my hand harder and harder, and my anger rising.
I don't want to be weak…
I started seeing red.
I don't want to be weak…
I DON'T WANT TO DIE!
"I HATE YOU," I suddenly yelled at him. A warm sensation surrounding me and rushing at him and slamming my fist right across his face.
Hello, it's been awhile. Well, two months isn't that bad but I have a feeling updates are going to get hectic seeing I did publish this a day before I'm move back for college and classes starting very soon but I'm going to try. Plus while I was writing this chapter and having to split it up again, I really shouldn't have rushed chapter 3 as I did and what I wrote for it is starting to bug me so I'll most likely rewrite that and make some minor changes in previous chapters too in the future. Plus I also realized that I need to change the summary of this story because it doesn't represent this story accurately when I think about it.
Other than that, thanks and have a good day.