I own nothing.

Chapter XXXI

May 1994

Danny walked slowly down the hallway to Sirius's room. He could already hear the soft hum of magical medical equipment.

They had been forced to take Sirius to St. Mungo's when their efforts to revive him failed. The head healer had explained that wounds caused by werewolves were extremely vulnerable to magical infections and, coupled with another severe head injury, it had placed Sirius into a perilous state. As with his previous medical emergency, Sirius was placed into a coma to allow his body to heal. After a week at the hospital, they were permitted to bring Sirius back to Potter Cove once it was determined that the only thing Sirius would need is time. How long, though, no one could say.

Danny pushed the door open and was not surprised to see Peter sitting by Sirius's bedside. There was rarely a moment that Peter didn't spend watching over his best friend, patiently waiting for the first sign of consciousness. Danny came to stand on the opposite side of the bed.

"Anything today?" he asked, as he had every morning. His eyes traveled to the floating display over Sirius's head that monitored his progress. The amount of red, signifying damaged parts of his brain, was still the primary color.

"Just a little," Peter replied with a soft smile. It was what Peter said every time, but it was his unwavering optimism that helped make the news less bleak. Peter got up from his chair to stand closer to the display. "You see this area here." He pointed to a small patch of blue, which represented healthy brain activity. "That wasn't there yesterday," Peter explained with a bigger smile.

Danny looked closely at the blue speck, and though it wasn't very large, Peter's excitement filled Danny with hope.

"That's good, Uncle Peter. I hope it gets bigger."

"It will. Just you wait and see." Peter returned to his chair.

"Has Mum seen it yet? Or Dad?"

"Aye, I think it really helped James to see how much progress he's made."

Danny didn't say anything. His father hadn't been the same since that night. He had been locked in a deep depression, most likely blaming himself for what had occurred. No one else did, of course. Lily had examined the leftover Wolfsbane potion and had found no signs of a defective brew. Her theory that Remus's system had built a tolerance to the Wolfsbane's effects proved to be the most likely reason for the night's events.

Danny looked out the window to see the gravestone marker underneath the tree by the cliff. The same tree where Danny first discovered that his magic was different. In a way, it felt like an appropriate final resting place for his teacher.

Peter, having noticed Danny's silence, turned to him.

"You know, before Lily joined us, it was Remus that took care of the Marauders. Whenever our ideas started to get too big, it was always Remus that would help reel us back in." A small grin appeared on his face. "He just had a way about him, you know, he could always make you see your faults without you realizing it." He and Danny met eyes. "He anchored us. I learned that when I went away. It wasn't easy, and I made mistakes, a lot of mistakes." Peter tapped his head. "But I eventually started to hear him in my head, telling me what I should or should not do. That's why I know Remus will never truly be gone. He'll always be here," he said, tapping his head again before doing the same to his heart. "And here."

A tear fell down Danny's cheek. What he would give to hear Moony's voice again?

"James just needs time until he starts hearing him, too." Peter turned back to Sirius's sleeping form. "And hopefully, Sirius will be back with us by then."

After some time sitting there with Peter, Danny left Sirius's room, with the promise to come back later, to head downstairs. He found his mother in the kitchen, standing beside their tea kettle, which was quickly gaining steam.

"Hi, Mum," he said, just as the kettle started to whistle.

"Oh, Danny, come here." Lily removed the kettle and started pouring into two teacups. "Here," she lifted the tea tray for Danny to take. "Help me take this to your father."

"Did he sleep at all?" Judging by the strength of the tea he was holding, Danny didn't expect very much.

"More than yesterday." It was clear from her tired voice that Lily hadn't slept that much, either.

They walked in silence to James's study, the place where he had watched his friend die. Lily had often tried to convince James to leave, to move his study to any other empty room, but James always refused without an explanation.

They found him sitting in front of the Potter Family Crest that was missing one of its ceremonial daggers. Neither Lily or Danny commented on it.

"James, Danny's here with your tea."

James didn't immediately react, but Danny noticed him quickly tuck away a wrinkled piece of parchment into his robes. He then turned himself around and wheeled to join them at his desk. Danny picked up one of the teacups and held it for his father. "Here you go, Dad."

James didn't respond. He just took the cup and turned back to return to the spot in front of the crest. Lily gave Danny a sympathetic look before she walked over to James and rubbed his shoulders and whispered into his ear. Danny couldn't hear what she said, but James turned to looked at him.

"Thank you for the tea, Danny."

"You're welcome, Dad."

James then turned back to the crest with a sip of his tea. Lily looked at Danny sadly. She had hoped for more and could tell that Danny had wanted the same. Danny started to leave and when he reached the door.

"I love you, son."

Danny turned around. "I love you, too, Dad."

Lily smiled and gave James another affectionate rub of his shoulders.

The last person Danny would find each day was his brother and it was always in the same place, the training room. Danny had long understood that Harry took more to training then he ever did, so it didn't surprise him at all that Harry would use it to cope. It was the intensity and frequency, though, that did.

Harry was hammering away at the punching bag and, judging by the sweat stains, he'd been at it for a while. Danny came around to hold the bag. The expression he saw on Harry's face was the same one since that night. While Harry's eyes were focused on the bag, his entire face made it seem like he had no idea where he was or what he was doing.

"Hey Harry."

"Hey," he responded without looking at him.

After a few moments of silence and a few grimaces from Danny as he absorbed Harry's impacts to the bag, he said, "Peter says Sirius is making progress."

"Good." Harry kept pounding away at the bag.

"It's only a little, but it's a good sign."

"Good," he said again.

This is how most conversations between the two of them had gone recently. All Danny could ever get were one or two-word answers. At first, Danny was happy that Harry was, at least, speaking, but Danny almost wished that his brother would fall into one of his silent brooding states. That would have, at least, been a familiar response. Instead, Harry spent most his time acting like it was just another summer before another year of school.

Harry held back his next jab and stared momentarily at his blood-soaked bandages with a perplexed expression. Almost like he hadn't realized he had broken through his calluses. He gave them a few shakes and stretched them out. He looked up at Danny.

"It's your turn," he said, pointing at the bag before he went around and pushed Danny to stand in front of the bag. He gave the bag a few pats. "Come on, Danny."

"Can't we just talk?" Danny offered instead. Training just didn't feel like the thing to do right now.

"We are talking."

"You know what I mean."

At first, Harry acted like he didn't, but he eventually let a long-exasperated sigh. He stood up straighter and walked over to a nearby workout bench.

"What do you want me to say." Harry started unwrapping his wrists. "If I hadn't done what I did, then all of you would be dead," Harry said with too much ease. He slowed down his unwrapping when get got to his blooded knuckles. He held back a soft grimace as he stretched out his ripped calluses and wiped away the blood.

"I know that," Danny didn't want to say it, but he had to. "And so does Dad."

Harry let out a joyless chuckle. "Which is why he can't look or speak to me."

"He doesn't blame you."

"Of course, he does." He looked Danny dead in the eyes. "I killed his best friend." Harry took a step closer to him, his face was completely devoid of all emotion. "I killed Remus to protect Mum and Dad and Peter," Harry's voice got very low, almost resentful. "And you. It's my job to protect you, remember."

They stood in silence. Danny was struck speechless by Harry's words and the tone in which they were said. Danny was already suffering from a tremendous amount of guilt when his failure forced Harry to do what he did.

"You really should get in a few sets, Danny," Harry said as he made his way out of the room. All traces of resentment gone from his voice. Almost like it hadn't happened.

"I-I don't—" Danny stammered, still reeling from what Harry said.

"I have to study for my O.W.L.S and you really should get some work in. You can't slack off during the summer. If you fall behind, I'm not going to go easy on you when we're back at school." And just like that, Harry was gone.

Danny thought about following him, pleading for him to come back. But his feet and voice failed him. Usually, by this point, he would either go back to his room or seat with Peter for a while. But today, he made a different choice. He walked to stand in front of the punching bag. He balled his fist and gave it a half-hearted jab. He punched the bag again, this time, with more force. He punched again, and again. The pain in his unwrapped knuckles felt good. He kept punching until he noticed streaks of red appearing across the bag, mixing with Harry's. Tears were now streaming down his face. He continued to punch, putting all his pain and anguish in each strike.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" he sobbed over and over again.

He eventually collapsed, hugging the bag to keep himself upright.

July 31st, 1994

Today was Harry's birthday and Lily was putting forth every effort to make it a proper family affair. She realized that the pain of Remus's death would not fade easily, but there must come a time when the mourning process must give way to acceptance. That's what Remus would want, for them to continue with their lives. But as natural as that was, Lily was still dealing with two very stubborn Potters.

She had attempted to speak to Harry to assure him that James didn't blame him, but the longer the two avoided each other, the more she began to feel that maybe that wasn't true after all. James wouldn't talk about of it, of course, and neither would Harry.

'Like father, like son,' she thought disappointingly. Still, she had become adept over the years at breaking down Potter stubbornness and this family dinner was just the next step.

"What can I do, Mum?" asked Danny.

Lily turned to her youngest and smiled. 'At least one of them has taken more after me.' Danny had progressed the best with handling his grief. It had taken time, of course, as Remus had always been Danny's first source for counsel, but Lily had stepped in and they helped each other grieve.

"Go tell Harry and Peter that dinner will be ready in ten minutes."

Before Danny left, he asked, "What about Dad?"

"You leave your father to me," she said seriously.

She walked quickly and purposefully to James's study. She entered without knocking to find James behind his desk reading.

"James?" she asked loudly.

"Yes, dear," he responded without looking up for his book.

At his lack of reaction to her tone and presence, she placed her hands at her hips. "You know what day it is?"

James stopped reading to look up at her. A wave of recognition washed over him at her clear agitation.

"Yes."

"Then I except you at the dinner table in five minutes." Her tone left no room for disagreement. Thankfully, James didn't give sign of protest and closed his book.

Lily returned to the dining room just in time to meet Harry, Danny, and Peter as they arrived. Harry looked over the crowded dinner table with all the food and presents meant for him. He looked at Lily and said.

"It looks great, Mum." His facial expression didn't give away much excitement and his voice didn't sound enthusiastic, but Lily hoped by the evening's end, that Harry would find some joy during his birthday.

"I'll say." Peter stated. His mouth was already watering over the assortment of food in front of him.

"Happy birthday, Harry." She walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. Harry was slow to return it. "Sixteen already." She pulled back and looked in her son's sad eyes. "Where did all the time go, huh?" she asked with a smile.

Harry returned it, but only for a moment.

"Bobby and Gretel made everyone's favorite and a surprise for dessert."

"What is it?" Danny asked.

"You'll just have to wait and see," Lily answered with a smile. "Come, come, Harry, everyone, have a seat." She ushered Harry by the shoulders to the seat next to hers.

It was when they were all seated that James arrived. Harry stiffened for a moment before he relaxed again. James took his place at the head of the table and looked over the table.

"Everything looks wonderful, Lily." James reached forward to pick up his glass of wine. "To Harry." Everyone, except Harry, picked up their glasses and raised them. "To Harry," they echoed.

"Happy birthday, Harry," said James. His eyes flickered towards Harry only for a second.

Harry looked across the table at everyone, except James. "Thank you," he said stiffly.

Lily watched the exchange closely. She decided to take it, despite the awkwardness, as a positive step forward for the two.

"Well everyone tuck in before it gets cold," she ordered.

Silence followed except for the clanking of silverware. Lily continued to observe the table as she ate. It broke her heart to see her son so emotionless just by being in his father's presence. And James, he was either ignoring it or was completely unaware. No matter the case, she wasn't going to let it ruin the dinner.

"So, Harry, Danny, who do you think will be Hogwarts's champion?" she asked.

"I don't know," Danny answered. "I mean, there's a bunch of people I can think—"

"Cedric Diggory," Harry interceded.

"Amos's boy!" That surprised Lily. She remembered Amos Diggory from their time at Hogwarts. They only interacted a few times as he tended to stick mostly with his fellow Hufflepuffs. She did recall, though, a few occasions where he had attempted some light flirting with her, but she always found him to be rather…dull.

"He's a good wizard," Harry stated simply. Danny appeared to be considering what he said and eventually nodded.

"Well, hopefully he's better than our champion," said Peter. "Do you remember Ernest Wellington, James?"

"I remember him coming in last," replied James with clear disappointment.

"That's what happens when a Ravenclaw gets chosen," said Peter. He looked at the boys. "The fool actually thought that he could outsmart the tournament! Thought he had a plan for every scenario, so he wouldn't face any surprises!"

"Which the Triwizard is famous for," said James, stating the obvious.

"Did any of you try to enter?" asked Danny.

"We didn't get a chance to. Our tournament was in Durmstrang," said Lily.

Harry's face scrunched up in confusion. "Wait, why was it in Durmstrang? Wouldn't it have been at Hogwarts?"

Danny appeared to be calculating the numbers himself. The tournament rotated from school to school every seven years which meant that it would have taken place at Hogwarts during their fifth year.

Lily nodded. "It should have been, but—"

"Voldemort," Harry said, answering his own question.

Lily nodded again. "The other schools didn't think it would be safe to travel—"

"—Not when there was a xenophobic madman on the loose—" Peter interjected with disgust.

"—So, it was decided that Hogwart's turn would be skipped which meant it went to Durmstrang." Lily paused to take a sip of wine. "And given their particular politics, it wasn't advisable for Muggleborns to attend."

"And since Lily wasn't going, there was no way James was going." Peter said with a teasing smile at his friend. "And if James wasn't going, none of the Marauders would either."

"Which one of you would have been chosen, you think?" asked Danny.

"Your mother, no question," James answered instantly. Lily's and his eyes met, and they shared a loving smile. "And from the Maruaders—"

"Me!" Peter suddenly declared loudly. Everyone, even Peter, burst out with laughter.

"You would have given them hell, I'm sure, Peter," Lily said with a warm smile.

"It would have been Remus," James said evenly, breaking the playful tone. "He was best of all of us."

The room went silent. Harry's face lost all emotion. He just placed his utensils back on the table, pushed his chair up, and stood. "May I be excused, Mum?"

Lily couldn't find the words to speak, and if she had, her voice would have cracked from holding back her emotions. She just nodded, and Harry turned around and left. Danny was quickly to his feet to follow him.

Peter wiped his mouth with his napkin. "I'll go check on them."

"Thank you, Peter," said Lily. She turned her attention to James, who stoically sat there as if he had done nothing wrong.

Lily's sadness for her son quickly gave way to anger towards her husband.

She waited until Peter was out of the room before she angrily slammed her utensils on the table. James flinched only slightly.

"Do you have any idea of what you're doing to your son?"

"I—"

"No! You are going to sit there and listen to me before you get to speak."

James closed his mouth and looked away.

"Harry, your son, was forced to make an impossible choice. Merlin knows what it's really doing to him because, like you, he won't talk about it!" Lily's desperation grew. "Do you know what Danny said to me? He said that Harry thinks you blame him for what happened. I thought that was absurd, but you know what, I think you actually do."

James still didn't look at her, but she could see that he was fumbling with something in his hands. Tears started welling up in her eyes.

"Say something, damn it!" she cursed. "Say that I'm wrong! Say that's not how you feel! Say anything!"

But James remained silent. Tears had started to fall down his cheeks, but he said nothing.

Feeling emotionally overwhelmed and, for the first time in their marriage, disgusted by her husband's behavior, Lily rose from her chair. As she walked past James, she saw a crumbled-up piece of parchment in his hands.

"Until you're capable of being the man I fell in love with, you can find somewhere else to sleep." And with that, she left the room.

James remained at the table, long after Lily had left him. In his hands, he continued to rub his fingers across the piece of parchment. He had had it for well over a decade. As he sat there, his mind drifted back to the night it came into his possession.

Flashback

May 1978

It was their fifth year at Hogwarts. After months of trial and error, the four members of the Marauders were celebrating their well-earned success. James, Sirius, and Peter had finally achieved their Animagi transformations. Sirius had managed to nick a bottle of Ogden's Firewhisky and the four inexperienced drinkers were getting truly sloshed. Luckily, they were in one of the unused classrooms in one of the more isolated parts of the castle, so the fear of discovery was, at least, a small one.

James sat back in one of the desk chairs, joyfully watching Sirius try to teach Peter the proper way to chat up a girl. James laughed and hiccuped whenever he heard Sirius sprout off one of his more ridiculous theories as to why girls often travel in groups, especially when they needed the loo. It was then that James's attention had drifted to Remus. The small ceremony James and the others had put on, showcasing their new Animagi forms, had left Remus in tears and he had embraced each of them like brothers. Now, though, Remus sat silently in a corner, looking rather pensive. James grabbed the bottle of firewhisky and shuffling over to his werewolf friend.

"Remus! My friend!" He slurred. "What's the matter, mate? We're celebrating, aren't we?" James held out the bottle.

Remus looked up at him and managed a weak smile before he took the bottle and set it down on the desk. James took a moment to look between the bottle and Remus in befuddlement before it dawned on him that Remus had never taken a swig when they had passed it around earlier.

James dropped himself in a chair next to Remus and tried to clear his alcohol-addled mind as much as possible.

"What's the matter, Remus?" James asked again.

It took a moment for Remus to speak. "I never thought I'd have this. What you guys did…?" Remus started to choke up.

James placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. "We're your mates. We're Marauders. We'll always stick together."

"It's not just that," Remus replied, shaking his head. "It was one thing you all saying that you'd become Animagi, it's another thing entirely for you three to actually go out there with me."

James started to understand. He leaned in closer. "Everything's going to be fine, mate. Werewolves don't feel threatened by other animals like they do with wizards. We'll be totally safe. You'll see."

"But what if…what if the wolf does attack one of you? How can I let any of you take that risk?"

"That's not going to happen. I promise."

"That's not a promise you can keep, James." Remus stared off stoically for a moment. He then summoned a piece of random parchment that had been on the floor and conjured a quill and ink. He placed the parchment in front of James and thrust the quill into his hands. He then stared as intensely as James could ever remember seeing.

"There is a promise you will make, James, and you're going to write it down, so you don't ever forget it."

James felt himself sobering up as he stared down at the blank piece of parchment. When he looked back up at Remus, his friend began reciting what he needed to write…

End of Flashback

James unfolded the old parchment and the mostly faded words. It didn't matter, though, he knew them by heart.

I, James Charlus Potter, hereby swear that should ever the day come that my friend, Remus John Lupin, while trapped in the mind of the wolf, threatens even a single innocent life that I will do what is necessary and end his life.

There had been no Unbreakable Vow made or any other form of oath magic cast that night. It had simply been a pact made between two friends. One that not even Sirius or Peter had known about. They had stumbled over right as James had shakily finished writing with the brilliant idea that they should each get a secret nickname that related to their animal forms. Remus had participated merrily. It was as if that piece of parchment resting in James's pocket had given him a new lease on life.

When that next transformation had come around, the four friends had danced through the Forbidden Forest without a care in the world. As the years went by and many full moons together, James had put aside any notion that he would ever have to fulfill his oath.

'I failed him,' he thought despairingly, his hands shaking the parchment out of his hands. He tried to grab it before it could hit the ground, but he ended up hitting his head against the table instead. He recoiled from the pain and wheeled himself away from the table. He shook his head to clear it and then sought out where the parchment had landed. He found it a few feet under the table, well out of his reach. He wheeled himself as close as he could and reached with all his might but to no avail. James refused to give up, though, but gave no thought to use his wand. He reached down again, desperate to just have his fingers touch it. He leaned his wheelchair onto one wheel to give him more room to reach, but all that accomplished was tipping his wheelchair over and on top of him. James ignored the pain as he crawled the rest of the way to finally grasp the parchment.

Breathing heavily and fighting back tears, he read the words over and over again. James eventually broke down in tears and openly wept. He clutched the parchment to his chest.

'I was supposed to do it, not him…not my boy.' James curled up into a ball, still underneath his dinner room table. 'I failed both of them.'