Chapter 4

Encounter

It was late Saturday night when Alex awoke from her nap. She had only intended to sleep for a couple hours, however, blinking her eyes open, she noticed the clock had read 10:24. 'Guess I needed that,' the attorney thought, as she stretched her arms above her head, stood up, and straightened out her hair and clothes. 'What to do…'. Alex hadn't actually been out and around The Village yet, seeing as how she had to lay low after returning from WITSEC and signing her new lease. Since then, she had been staying in, moving her furniture and belongings, and following local cases through emails from Cragen and Judge Donnelly. She wanted that to change. Although she knew the area, she never spent much time in this particular part of New York, and was eager to make The Village her home.

After reading about a club in an email, Alex thought that tonight would be a good time to just walk by, maybe stop in, and see what was going on—if nothing else, she could stop in and relax with a drink by the bar. She pulled on a pair of skinny jeans and a light, cream tank top. After slipping on sparkling gold pumps, she headed out the door, slipping her keys and credit card into her pocket. She didn't really like carrying her purse when she knew she would be out and about. She didn't want to have to worry about putting it down and forgetting it.

Alex approached the front door of the club and was greeted by a bouncer. She knew it was a lesbian club and thought it was funny that it needed a bouncer: there were usually no unruly men pushing people about, but apparently he had his deal of troubles. He collected her cover charge and opened the door for her. She had almost immediately regretted the decision to enter. It wasn't that she felt uncomfortable, after all, she was bisexual, and this environment shouldn't bother her. It was only after a few seconds that she realized why she felt a sharp pain in her chest—it was Olivia. At least, she thought it was Olivia.

The brunette was standing tall, leaning against the bar. Her medium-length hair fell lightly onto her shoulders, and highlighted her normally rounded breasts, suppressed under a white dress shirt by a sports bra. She was wearing painted on black pants with light grey suede Chukka boots. Her ensemble was masculine, but she looked so confidently feminine, even as an unfamiliar woman separated the black skinny tie, pulling it towards her to wrap the detective into a kiss. Alex had never seen Olivia wear menswear quite like this, but it was a complete turn on for the attorney.

Olivia leaned away from the blonde, severing eye contact, but the blonde insisted on keeping her close. She tugged at the tie and led Olivia out onto the dance floor, pulling her tie over her shoulder while the detective followed closely behind, studying the blonde's swaying buttocks. Alex had to hand it to Olivia—the woman was striking. She wore a small, shimmering golden dress that was cut about 5 inches above her knees, and hugged her small curves all the way up her body. She was a little shorter than Olivia, although her heels made the two almost even in height. Olivia slinked behind her on the dance floor and placed her hands on the blonde's hips, slowly grinding her pelvis into the blonde's backside. The young blonde craned her neck backwards as Olivia grazed her lips over her neck. Olivia was a great dancer—Alex had remembered that, but this type of dancing was not the detective's style. The young blonde was grinding her ass into Olivia and the detective had her hands wrapped around the woman's hips, just going with the flow.

The blonde turned to face her, and things got heated: she whispered something in Olivia's ear and the detective's eyes widened, accompanied by a sly smile. Alex knew that smile. Olivia wrapped her hands around the blonde, caressing her back and moving her hands down to grip the blonde's cheeks through the dress. They stopped dancing and the blonde took Olivia's face in her hands and started to kiss her. Soon after, she wrapped her hands over the detective's shoulders and hooked her arms around Olivia's neck. Olivia gripped her hips slightly, and pulled her into a strong embrace. They continued kissing passionately for the rest of the song.

Alex knew she had stopped in her tracks, halfway to the bar to watch the scene unfold. She also told herself not to be so surprised—she knew Olivia frequented The Village, but she was surprised to see her in the exact place Alex had ended up. Whatever the reason or cause, she was momentarily shocked, and happy that she saw Olivia like this. Not only did Olivia's physique change while Alex was gone, but apparently her style and taste in women had changed as well. Before, Olivia had sworn she wasn't into blondes, but Alex always thought she, herself, could change that. It was nice to see that Alex was right all of those years ago, although, this woman looked very young, and obviously had a hold on Olivia.

Alex walked over to the bar and started to order a drink when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Jen?" A slim woman with curled, flowing red hair removed her hand from Alex's shoulder and smiled when Alex turned around.

"No…Alex. I'm sorry you…."

"Oh. I'm so sorry! I confused you for someone else from behind. You know, you look like someone I dated last year. She was…" the woman looked into Alex's face, "just absolutely stunning. I'm sorry…Alex, you said?"

With a smile, Alex quickly turned on the lawyer segment of her brain and suspected this woman didn't confuse her for anyone, but was actually hitting on her.

"Yes. Alex. And you are…?"

"Lauren."

"Nice to meet you, Lauren." Alex placed her open hand out, and without a second's hesitation, Lauren seized it carefully and placed a small kiss on top of the ivory skin.

"You too, Alex. Let me buy you a drink—and before you say no, I know that you were already ordering one when I walked up, so let me at least do that for you."

Alex rolled her eyes a bit, but suddenly found the woman extremely charming. She smiled widely, ordered a merlot and slowly raised the glass to her lips.

"Thanks," she nodded and tipped the glass to Lauren, who smiled at Alex.

"My pleasure. I had you nailed for a wine drinker, but I would have guessed white."

They both laughed and the conversation came very easily between the two women. Over the next hour, Alex had learned that Lauren was a marketing genius—she didn't say this, of course, but Alex could tell that she was as smart as a whip. Lauren was working with her friends who owned a local start up company. She had recently left her high-end job with one of the biggest companies in New York, tired of the 'male-driven hierarchy' in the workplace. She told Alex that although she was in the business world, there were more important things than pencil pushing and profit shares. It was admirable, Alex thought.

For some reason, Alex lied and told Lauren that she worked on Wall Street. It flowed out of her mouth so naturally that Lauren didn't even question it, but it bothered Alex that she was able to lie and deceive her so easily, but she brushed it off, knowing that she would probably never see Lauren again. She wasn't interested in starting a relationship with Lauren, but, even Alex had to admit, she was extremely intriguing, and Alex was having a good time. Before she knew it, she glanced at her phone to check the time—12:55. As her phone illuminated, though, she noticed she had 4 unread text messages.

Someone bothering you?

Not gonna lie, surprised to see you here.

Seriously, Cabot. I know u can hold your own, but if she is bothering u just yell.

Guess you're enjoying yourself. Have a good one.

She smiled slightly as she read the messages from Olivia. Lauren must have sensed the fondness that Alex harbored for the sender and gave a weak grin.

"Someone special missing you?"

"Oh. No, nothing like that. I'm not in a relationship." Alex wondered why she just volunteered that information, but continued. "Just a friend here texting me to ask if they need to come get me out of…" Alex motioned her pointer finger between the two of them, pointing to herself and then to Lauren, "…this." Alex finished the remainder of her wine, returned to her phone, and started to reply.

I'm good. Just having a dri..

"Oh. That's funny," Lauren responded with a chuckle. "You should keep them around. That's a nice thing to do." Lauren's voice trailed off and her smile faded as her eyes darted directly behind Alex, a questioning look on her face. Alex turned just in time to see Olivia walk up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Hi. How're ya." It was a statement directed at Lauren, not a question. She understood this and quickly nodded towards the brunette woman, understanding that she was not waiting for an answer, and was most likely going to continue. "I see you've met my friend, Alex…?" Now this sounded like a question. Lauren opened her mouth to speak, but Olivia jumped back in, putting a second hand on Alex's other shoulder from behind, almost possessively holding the younger woman, with both hands firmly gripping her shoulders. "That's nice," Olivia said.

"Yeah, we were just talking," Lauren said, nodding and smiling at Alex. What was this that Alex saw in Olivia's eyes? Possessiveness? Jealousy? As Lauren spoke, Alex looked into Olivia's eyes, piercing through Lauren without any emotion written on her face.

"Ok good. Good. Well, I'll be moving along then. Unless you need anything, Alex?"

In that moment, Alex arched her head back near Olivia's shoulder. She expected to smell the old, familiar scent of Olivia's shampoo and light aloe and coconut body lotion, but instead smelled a citrus and sandalwood mixture that drove her wild. She slowly closed her eyes and wished time would freeze. As she reopened her eyes, she smiled at the detective. She didn't know whether it was the wine, or just Olivia's protectiveness that made her feel so happy in that moment, but she would have been content to look at Olivia like that all night.

"No, I think I'm ok, Detective. Actually, I should get going anyway," Alex said as she rose from the barstool. Both Olivia and Lauren had reached out to help her, and she was confused in that moment, as Olivia cupped her arm and elbow and helped ease her out of the stool. She stood to face Lauren, still feeling Olivia's presence closely behind her.

"Thanks again, for the drink, and the company. It was nice to talk to you."

"Don't mention it. You have my number if you want to do it again," Lauren said with a flirty smile. Alex had to admit, she would be a great catch: beautiful, smart, and idealistic.

"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind," Alex smiled and turned to walk out of the club, but Olivia was directly in her way, and was wearing one hell of a determined look on her face. Her blonde dancing partner suddenly reappeared and placed her hands on Olivia's pectorals, above her breasts. After a minute of whispering, they broke apart.

"I'm gonna get out of here." Olivia shouted over the music.

"Ok baby. I'll see you soon?" She placed a soft kiss on the detective's lips. Olivia never directly answered that question, and the woman knew that she wouldn't. She had turned to walk away before Olivia would have been able to answer at all.

"Everything OK?" Alex asked, watching the exchange between the two women interestingly.

"Of course. I just want to make sure you get home OK. I'll get you a cab."

Remembering what had happened the last time they left a bar together in a cab, Alex smiled. They turned and walked together, as Olivia opened the door for Alex to exit into the night before her.

"Actually, I only live a couple blocks from here," Alex commented as she passed Olivia out the front door.

"Jesus Alex. You moved back to New York to live in The Village?!" Olivia couldn't suppress a chuckle. After all, Olivia had always known Alex to live in the ritziest parts of Manhattan, and even though the Village was expensive, she didn't expect Alex to live there. But she had to admit, something about Alex was best suited to live in The Village.

"Yeah. And I don't appreciate the attitude," Alex gave Olivia a smile and a light shove on the arm. "I just know what I want now. WITSEC taught me so much about myself, and I'm going to make my life how I want it."

"Well yeah, no problem. At least let me walk you home. I just want to make sure you get there alright." Thoughts of O'Malley's and Alex being shot usually arose in Olivia's mind in situations like this, so she thought it would be best to walk with her.

With that, both women began walking. Alex asking about Olivia's 'date' consumed the eight-block walk.

"It wasn't a date, Alex."

"Well, she had to be someone special to get you to dress like that."

"What does that mean?" There was a small amount of hurt in Olivia's voice that Alex didn't expect to hear.

"Oh, Liv, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. But, you just never wore clothes like that before. Nothing wrong with it—I actually think you look great, I just didn't expect you to be wearing that." She hoped her explanation had covered the original snotty remark.

"Yeah. Some things have changed Alex. Didn't know I had to run things by you right when you came back, to let you know what's different and what's not. Not everyone has to go into Witness Protection to figure out things about themselves." The hurt was evident. Alex had done a number on Olivia when she left—Alex knew that for sure, however, she didn't expect the coldness and harsh reality of her words, especially after how protective she had acted in the club.

"And, her name is Hope. We come out on some Saturdays when I can get away from the precinct. She likes to dance. She bought me the outfit." Olivia's answers had become very matter-of-fact as they reached the entrance to Alex's complex. As the attorney reached for her keys in her pocket, she heard the soft padding of Olivia's suede boots walking away from her, toward the street. She loosened her skinny tie, put her hair in a ponytail, and stepped off of the curb to hail a cab. As she opened the door, she leaned against the side of the cab and yelled over to Alex.

"Just wanted to make sure you got home ok."

And with that, Olivia was gone.

"See you Monday," Alex sighed, half-heartedly, knowing that Olivia couldn't hear her. She lifted the electronic badge out of her pocket, scanned into the complex and made her way to the elevators, ignoring the doorman. Once she reached her penthouse and had locked the door behind her, she slumped down on the couch, thinking that it was a good enough place to sleep for tonight.

She felt utterly depressed. She knew that she had spoken out of turn, and had hurt Olivia once again. She thought back to her relationship with Olivia before leaving for WITSEC. They were friends—best friends. But, they were more than that, and they both knew it. They never admitted those feelings, but they flirted constantly, stealing glances at one another in court, in the precinct, and in interrogation. Except for that one drunken night, nothing had ever come of anything. Back then, Alex was too afraid to be outed by anyone. But now, she had realized that there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for Olivia.

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Olivia rattled her address of to the cabbie and relaxed down into the back seat. She loosened the tie that Hope had bought her the day before and unbuttoned the top 3 buttons of her white shirt. She didn't really care about dressing like this, but Hope liked it, and Olivia wanted to make her smile. She knew it was a mistake to get involved with Hope. She was married, and was significantly younger than the detective, but it was a guilty pleasure that made Olivia feel young again. After seeing how she looked in the reflection of the glass in the bar, she had to agree with Hope—she actually looked pretty sexy.

Olivia climbed the flights of stairs to her apartment. She threw her keys down on the table and continued into her bedroom. 'What was up with Alex? Why did she go to the club that night? Was she interested in Lauren?' All of these thoughts crept into Olivia's mind as she threw her body, face first, down into the bed. She hadn't bothered undressing, and just removed her shoes, tie, and pants. She pulled the covers up over her back and snuggled into the bed. She let out a long sigh and started to relax when she heard her phone buzz.

U looked SEXY 2nite! Wish I could've seen it all.

She picked up her phone to respond to Hope.

Thanks. That dress you had on worked wonders for me, too. Goodnight, beautiful.

It was a rule—whenever one of them said goodnight, the conversation was immediately over. Olivia couldn't have her phone waking her up in the middle of the night if it wasn't work related, and Hope didn't want her husband to be suspicious of her phone buzzing at all hours. Olivia knew it was a messed up 'relationship,' but she kept herself sane by telling herself that nothing really happens when they get together. They dance, they kiss, and they occasionally rendezvous in the bathroom—all completely shallow and meaningless. Knowing she wouldn't get a response from Hope, she plugged her phone into the charger and placed it on her nightstand. She rolled over onto her side and was immediately surprised by her phone vibrating.

Olivia—

Did you get home ok?

I'm sorry if I made you upset tonight. That wasn't my intention.

It's been so long since we've been around each other. I guess I just forgot how our playful banter used to be. I know that things can't be immediately the same and I can't just pick up where I left off.

If you don't want to text me back, it's no problem. I will see you on Monday.

Alex

Olivia always thought it was funny when Alex put a signature on the bottom of her text messages. She thought for a while, but then decided to respond.

I know who you are—you don't have to put your name at the bottom.

It's whatever.

See you Monday.

With that, she rolled over and put her phone back on the charger. She knew it had been a cold response, but that is what she needed to do now that Alex was back. She knew that she wanted the attorney—she always had. And it seemed as though Alex was warming up to her again, but Olivia could not have that. She would not, and could not enter into any kind of relationship with Alex Cabot, friendly or otherwise. She refused to be hurt like that again—couldn't be hurt like that again. Their relationship would never be the same as it was, or anything more serious for that matter: Olivia knew that was just asking for a painful letdown. Olivia wasn't even sure if Alex felt the same way she did, and even if she did, if Alex wasn't comfortable being an out lesbian, it would just be hurtful in an entirely different way. Olivia decided that she must never let herself be as vulnerable to Alex as she was that night. She closed her eyes and tried to stop the thoughts of the blonde attorney that permeated her brain.