Chapter 5

Work

Monday came and went. Olivia and Elliot spent most of the day going blind on paperwork, while Much and Fin were working on a case they caught over the weekend. Olivia checked her watch-6:22. There hadn't been any big developments in any cases and almost all of the DD5's were completed when she heard the familiar clacking of heels on the hard floor of the 1-6. At that moment, Olivia realized that she hadn't told Elliot that Cabot was back, but she didn't think he would have a reaction either way—they weren't the best of friends when she left. Olivia often thought that the only reason she let Elliot in on her WITSEC secret was because he was there when she was shot. They had conflicting personalities, to say the least.

Elliot glanced up at Alex and then looked directly at Olivia, waiting for a reaction.

"What?" Olivia asked Elliot this question with attitude in her voice. Elliot took enough of this from his teenage kids, so he knew exactly how to handle it.

"Nothing," Elliot shifted in his chair and smirked annoyingly at Olivia, as his eyes narrowed. "Did you know about that?" He nodded his head towards Cabot, who walked into Cragen's office and took a seat in the chair across from his desk.

"Well I came in to work out on Saturday and she was here, so yeah I guess I knew."

Elliot sat back in his chair and studied his partner. He knew how she felt about Alex. After all, it was Elliot that she came to when Alex left. He had spent many sleepless nights with Olivia: talking, drinking, or just sitting together. He had never really figured out that relationship. He knew that Olivia and Alex were friends, but he also knew that Olivia had it bad for Alex. The entire squad at the 1-6 took bets that Olivia not only helped Alex get into a cab after they left a bar one night, but also helped the attorney into her own bed. When Elliot got around to asking about that encounter a year or so later, his partner looked down at the floor and smiled. He knew then that he was right: Olivia loved Alex. It wasn't just a typical Olivia Benson relationship. Elliot knew that she would have waited for Alex to feel comfortable with whatever kind of relationship they would have and Olivia would give anything for her—Elliot saw that and was not happy with how Alex left.

The attorney, however, Elliot wasn't sure about. There were rumors that she had dated women in the past, but Elliot always thought that she was involved with some of the male ADA's, and he knew for a fact that she had been out at least once with Trevor Langan. His questioning mind was quieted after the night at the bar, when Elliot knew that Alex had a hard time resisting Olivia-who didn't? Maybe it was just something that happened one time. There was no way for Elliot to know, but at the moment, he understood Olivia's cold response concerning Alex, and he didn't blame her one bit.

"Thanks for telling me partner," Elliot said with a smirk. He knew that she didn't deliberately omit this information, but laughed at her reaction.

"Sorry El." Olivia dropped her pen on the stack of papers on her desk and ran her hand over her forehead, losing the attitude. "I was totally surprised—especially after I saw her out last night too."

"Hm. How wa-"

"Don't, El." Olivia's eyes were pleading. "Nothing happened. I was out with Hope, we were in The Village, Alex walked in. That's it."

"So she saw…wait… you were out with Hope? I thought you stopped that, Liv? Seriously, I don't mean to harp on you about her but do you really think that's a good idea?"

"Yes, you do mean to harp on me. And no, I know it's a horrible idea—I'm not stupid. She's unstable, she's married, and she's way too young. I know Elliot, I know." Olivia paused and took a breath. "It's just easy," she said with a sigh, as she sank back into her chair and put her arms over her head, bending her elbows and resting the palms of her intertwined hands on the top of her head.

"What's easy?" A familiar voice rang out from behind Olivia. As Alex walked up behind the detective, Elliot made quick eye contact with his partner.

"Nothing. If only life were perfect, huh Counselor? Then everything would be easy." Elliot was usually great at jumping into conversations and changing the subject without anyone noticing, however, Alex Cabot always noticed. Elliot flashed her a shit eating grin and winked at her, effectively dismissing her from the conversation.

"Ok detective. I guess what you and your partner talk about is privileged. I was just leaving anyway. See you later." And with that, she turned on her stilettos and exited the squad room.

Elliot focused back on the conversation about Olivia and Hope. "Liv, seriously, how old is she? 25,26?"

Olivia barely heard Elliot as she watched Alex walk past Munch and Fin's desks, and march decidedly out of the squad room. She was wearing a charcoal grey suit and a light blue button up shirt tucked into her pants. The brunette detective focused her eyes on Alex's platinum hair, then her shoulders, her defined yet slender back, her swaying ass, and then her eyes fell on her favorite part of Alex: those legs. They were sky high, and her calves flexed and stretched as she walked out of the squad room. Her black heels could be heard all the way down the hall, when Olivia's eyes finally snapped back to Elliot.

"What?! Who? Jesus, Elliot. She's old enough to know what she's doing. God! Let it go." She leaned forward out of her chair, picked up the blue pen and continued working on her papers.

Elliot relaxed back in his chair. He knew to drop it.

Ten minutes later, Olivia's chime of her computer meant that she had an email. It was rare that the detectives received emails, unless their contacts would rather communicate that way, but with most of their cases dealing with very sensitive material, most people preferred to speak directly with the detectives. Cragen would email every one once in a while to make sure all of their licenses and certifications were still updated, and to reach out and ask if anyone needed help with anything. Knowing that Cragen was talking on the phone in his office, and she didn't have any victims emailing her currently, she was curious to see who the email was from. She looked back at her computer and opened her inbox.

Olivia,

I don't mean to be presumptuous, but I was wondering if we could grab dinner. We used to in the past, so I didn't know if it would be a big deal or not. I know you're still in the precinct and I'm getting pretty hungry. Didn't know if you were going to come back and work some more or not, but it might be nice to get a break and get something proper for dinner.

Also, I think we should probably talk. I know the way I left when I went to WITSEC wasn't the greatest, but it was something that I had to do and I can't help the way that you're feeling (I'm not insinuating that I know how you feel) having me back around SVU. If you don't want to, it's no big deal, but I thought that maybe it might be easier for the both of us to work together if we got whatever it was out in the open. Again, if you don't want to, or can't because of your caseload, just let me know.

Alexandra K. Cabot

ADA 16th Precinct

Special Victims Unit

(646) 555-3928

Cabot.A

The email signature was so familiar. Years ago, just seeing that signature made Olivia smile because it meant that the wonderfully sexy ADA had emailed her about something, anything at all. But now, Olivia wasn't sure how to respond. As she clicked 'reply,' her hands hovered over the keys of her keyboard, tapping the keys without actually typing them. So many words got caught in her head. She typed words and then deleted them, before beginning to type again.

She was confused—she had wanted to apologize to Alex for being standoffish to her after the club the other night, but at the same time, she didn't want to see her more than she needed to. Every time Alex entered the squad room, Olivia couldn't help but look. Not only did she look, but she stared. She knew that she still loved Alex in her heart, but in her head she couldn't allow those types of feelings anymore. Olivia understood that being away from Alex was probably the best thing she could do for herself at the moment. Her hands began typing:

Alex,

Thanks for the invitation. I understand why you left—you had just been shot, and your life was in danger. You can't think that I'm mad about that. It was just hard to adjust actually knowing that you were out there somewhere, alive, and that I couldn't speak to you.

Olivia paused. Not knowing how to continue, she leaned back in her chair and looked at her partner. Elbow deep in paperwork, he looked up and smiled at her. She thought about the long nights after Alex left that she would knock on his door in Queens, just needing a shoulder to cry on. Elliot would invite her in, give her some coffee, and put his arm around her like a brother, wiping her tears and understanding her concerns. Although she hadn't ever explicitly said anything regarding how she felt about Alex, it seemed like Elliot knew what she was going through. Remembering that hurt, and knowing that she wouldn't be able to handle being out alone with Alex, she finished the email.

To be honest, I'm not really sure how to respond. I agree, and think that we probably should talk, but I don't think it's a good idea right now. I'm sorry-I'm just not ready for that. If this interferes with our working relationship, just let me know—but I don't see this being a problem.

PS-I want to apologize about the other night. I didn't expect you to ask questions that I didn't know how to answer myself. I'm sorry and I didn't mean to snap at you. You just caught me off guard. When we talk, you can ask whatever you want.

Olivia Benson

Special Victims Unit

Benson.O

Olivia hit the send button and put her face in her hands. She rubbed her eyes and sighed out loud.

"I think I'm gonna go. It's getting late—aren't you going home?" She knew, at that moment, that Kathy was probably home making dinner and assuming that Elliot, again, wouldn't be home early enough to eat with his family.

Elliot stood up, smiled, and grabbed his jacket, just as Captain Cragen bustled in to the room, flanked by Fin and Munch.

"Olivia! I've got a favor to ask," Cragen said as he looked at Olivia and Elliot.

"Damn. Two minutes earlier and we would have been home free," Elliot whispered to Olivia as they returned their coats to the rack and walked back to their desks. Somehow, they knew it would be a long night. Kathy and the kids would have to eat without Elliot after all.

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Hours later, Alex read the email response in her office. It had been a long day and she had taken off her suit jacket, kicked her heels off, and placed her stocking feet up on her desk. She leaned back in her chair and reread the email, looking for any deeper meaning.

She wasn't surprised at Olivia's response—Alex knew she couldn't just come back and expect things to be the same as they were when she left, but that didn't mean she couldn't hope. She sighed and looked at the clock on her computer—it was 7:15. Alex resigned to sleeping on the couch in her office that night, because she knew she had enough work to keep her busy until at least midnight. She passed the next 3 hours searching case law, sending emails to Casey about their cases, and watching trial footage from the past 2 days. Although she was tired, she had a weird feeling about the precinct, and she needed to take a walk anyway. She quickly changed into her Harvard sweatpants and a t-shirt and slipped on her sneakers, climbing the two flights of stairs up to the 16th precinct.

The squad room was abuzz. Cragen was quickly handing papers to Fin, who was typing furiously on his computer, entering information into a criminal database. Munch was on the phone with the lab, asking about information on 'the suspect.' There were 3 or 4 uniformed officers who Cragen was dismissing, thanking them for their help, saying that if he needed any more information, he would call. The Technical Assistance Response Unit was searching through files on an unknown laptop and there were 2 more officers just hanging around running errands assigned by Fin and Munch.

"I know, but we have him here now! We can't just hold him for more than 24 hours without any hard evidence—I need your help ASAP," Munch was yelling into the phone. Cragen noticed the ADA standing in the doorway, taking in the scene.

"Alex, I'm glad you're here. I need you in interrogation, if you have time. Sorry, I would have called, but I didn't know you were here," and with that, he opened the door and stepped into the room connected to interrogation.

Alex followed suit and closed the door behind her. She could hear Olivia speaking to the suspect, but when she looked through the one-way glass her ears turned off. It seemed as if all of her senses understood that her eyes needed all of the attention. She could neither hear Olivia speaking nor smell the stale coffee aroma that usually circulated throughout the small room; her mouth ran dry and she dropped the pencil she was holding. Every single part of Alex Cabot was fixated on Olivia. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard Cragen speaking, but she did not make out his words.

Olivia was leaning far over the table, as she normally did, but it was what she was wearing that had the ADA practically drooling. As Olivia straightened up and walked around the room, she got a better view. The detective was wearing a bright red dress tied at the base of her neck, with her breasts pushed up and almost out of the deep V cut, showing a glimpse of an ivory lace bra underneath. Her hips swayed as she walked circles around the table where a man was seated. The dress was cut so high and tight on her thighs that Alex could see why Olivia didn't want to sit down. She was wearing 3" shiny, black heels that made her calves look spectacular, as she paced back and forth, still speaking to the suspect. Her hair was perfectly styled, as her bangs fell into her eyes. She was wearing thick mascara, eyeliner, and more makeup than anyone had ever seen on her, however, she still looked stunning.

"ALEX!"

Suddenly, Alex realized that she had probably been staring at the detective, and thereby not hearing anything Cragen had been saying, for a good two minutes.

"Sorry, Captain. I was just thinking," Alex said. "What…?" Alex motioned to Olivia and looked at the Captain. She waved her hand back and forth between Olivia and Cragen. "Why…?" Her voice trailed off.

"Munch and Fin have a perp who likes working girls. We thought we could catch him at it without sending someone on a sting, but each time he got away or didn't come around when we were watching. Fin thought Olivia could do it, and it's not like she hasn't done it before. So, she went home, found something" he watched his words here, as to not offend Olivia, or women in general "slinky, tight, and…revealing."

"Wow. Good thinking-sorry, I'm just surprised. So the suspect—he's been, what? Beating up prostitutes?"

"Alex, we know rape is hard to prove with working girls, but there still has to be consent. He's raping them and we like him for a murder of one this past weekend."

"Ok. We will check into—wait." Her face fell as she looked back to Olivia. She noticed a busted knuckle on her left hand and a bruising forehead, above and through her eyebrow. There were 4 small, grouped bruises on her upper thigh, tracing up into her dress. Alex knew that these were indicative of digging fingers. She could feel her blood beginning to boil, and flush her chest and face. "Don, are you serious? Murder? Did you purposefully put her into danger? Look at her!"

"Alex, she is fine. She was safe and covered the entire time. She knew what she was getting into and was able to defend herself and subdue the suspect. She's been evaluated and all is fine. Elliot conducted the first half of the interview, and she is just finishing up. Honestly, we couldn't have done it without her."

As he said that, Olivia entered the room, shutting the door to the interrogation room quietly, and moving somewhat slowly.

"You look comfy," she chuckled and motioned a circle between herself and Alex with her hand. "This is usually the other way around."

"You're funny. If I ever look like that, detective, tell me not to enter judge's chambers that day." They both smiled, Alex intriguingly, and Olivia half-heartedly. "All joking aside, are you ok?" Alex resisted the urge to caress Olivia's forehead, kiss her forehead, and tend to her cuts and bruises.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just glad we got the guy. But, I am extremely uncomfortable—this dress is 2 sizes too small. I'm gonna go change...that ok Cap?"

"Yeah, Elliot can take it from here."

Shortly after, Elliot entered and continued the interrogation. Cragen dismissed Cabot, telling her that they would have their information for her in the morning. As she was walking out of the precinct, she saw Olivia walking back to her desk, dress and heels in hand. She looked much more like the Olivia she remembered—she was wearing blue jeans, a grey t-shirt and her favorite pair of black gym shoes, which now had to be at least 10 years old.

"Hey you should really wear stuff like that the next time you're in the Village—people would be lined up around the block." Alex blurted this out without even thinking, motioning to the red dress.

"You're hilarious," Olivia said with a straight face. "I wouldn't be caught dead in this crap. Plus, it's too small, anyways."

"Where'd you even get it?"

Olivia's eyes darted around the room, not making eye contact with Alex. "From a friend."

"Ok. Well, this," she motioned with a nod of her head "is much more you anyway." She paused for a few moments and looked at Olivia. The detective sat down in her chair and put her head in her hands. She looked like she was hurting, but Alex knew she would never admit it. Alex walked into the locker area and opened the first aid cabinet. She located an instant ice pack and pulled up a chair next to Olivia's desk. She popped the circle inside the bag and shook it to make it instantly cool. She placed a hand on Olivia's upper back, putting the ice bag in her other hand and pressing it gently to the detective's forehead. "That looks bad."

"Well, it doesn't feel great, but I think I'll be ok." She placed her hand over the ice bag as Alex removed hers. Their hands brushed by each other, but neither was thinking about touching the other currently—Alex was too concerned about Olivia's injuries, and Olivia just wanted her headache to go away. There was no tension here, and it felt like they were old friends, as if WITSEC had never separated them.

"Detective Benson?" As voice came from the entry door of the precinct, Olivia raised her hand without looking up, as a younger, blonde man dressed in a lab coat approached Olivia's desk.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Simmons. Do you remember me from earlier?" Alex exchanged a confused look with Olivia and back to the doctor.

"Yeah, you gave me a concussion test and told me to take it easy," Olivia said with an exasperated sigh. She hated being treated like a victim.

"Exactly right. Now, about that test—I think you should probably be observed tonight because you may have a mild concussion." As the doctor said this, Olivia rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"I'm fine! You told me I looked ok and I was good to go! What the hell?" Alex could tell that Olivia's temper was boiling, and she probably just wanted to get home.

"I know, detective Benson, but I've been thinking a little more about your responses and there were a couple answers that you gave that are troubling me a bit, so I wanted to come over here and speak with you. I think you are fine, but I want to take all of the necessary precautions so that you are back as soon as possible."

"Alright, fine. I'll stay here in the crib and have someone come wake me up every so often."

"Well, I think it might be better if you go to your own home and make yourself comfortable. Your body needs good, quality rest, and I doubt you can get it here."

"Ugh. Fine. I will go home. I'll call…" she thought about Hope. There was no way she would be able to call her at almost 1AM. Her husband would definitely know something was up—he didn't even know his wife had any friends, much less any friends that she was close enough with to spend the night together. She started speaking again. "I'll call someone…" Her voice trailed off, growing quieter in thought.

Alex didn't want to impose, but this time seemed as good as ever to jump in. "I'll help you, Olivia. Let's get you home." With a wave of her hand, she got up from her chair and smiled at the doctor. He and Alex discussed concussion protocols and anything Alex needed to do while she was with Olivia. She notified Cragen and Elliot, as well as the other detectives and called for a cab. Alex knew Olivia didn't want any help, but she still offered to carry Olivia's bag, to which Olivia declined.

The cab pulled up just as they were exiting the building and Olivia opened the door and scooted across the back seat. Alex got in the cab, shut the door, and started speaking to the driver.

"122 West 4-," Alex felt a hand on her knee.

"Nope. Sorry. We're going to 589 South Broadway in Williamsburg," Olivia interrupted, and then readied herself for the questions that she knew would be coming.

"No problem," said the cabbie as he pulled away from the precinct.

"Williamsburg? You moved to Brooklyn? Are you becoming a hipster, detective?" Alex asked these questions with an amused grin.

"Long story short: I grew up in Brooklyn, I wanted to move back," Olivia said evasively.

"And long story long…?" Alex asked.

"Better saved for another day," Olivia said as she slid down into the back seat. She was feeling tired, and immediately had an overwhelming need to sleep. She rested her head onto the window with the ice pack in between the window and her forehead. She felt a light pat on her shoulder and looked back at Alex. She opened her arm and motioned to Olivia to lay back. She complied, mostly because she was too tired to protest, and relaxed her head into the crook between Alex's shoulder and head.

She dropped her arm onto Alex's lap with the ice pack in her hand—it was obvious that she was too tired to hold the ice onto her forehead. Alex took the ice pack from Olivia's hand and held it in place on the detective's forehead. For a moment, Alex felt very peaceful. Although she knew she was in love with this woman, and would give anything to tell Olivia, she was just happy to be caring for her. They seemed to be back to being friendly, at least at the moment. Olivia had let her guard down and was receptive to Alex's touch, letting the attorney care for her.

Olivia felt the cab jerk and opened her eyes. She smelled a familiar fragrance of Alex's perfume and realized that she was nuzzled into Alex's neck, with the attorney holding an ice pack to her throbbing head, her other arm holding Olivia around her back and shoulder. The cabbie was nice enough to get out and open the door for Olivia—she knew she must really look like hell. Alex took care of the fare and searched in Olivia's bag for her keys. They started into the complex and walked to the elevators.

"No more fifth floor walk up?" Alex laughed.

"Nah. I mean, I guess we could take the stairs if you want," Olivia chuckled as the elevator doors began to close.

The doors opened on the 4th floor and Olivia made her way down the familiar hallway. She made a left at the end of the foyer and she inserted her keys into the only door at the end of the hallway. They both walked in and Alex took in the sight of Olivia's new apartment. It was uniquely Olivia—minimalist design, with only one or two pictures of Olivia. Alex was surprised to see that of the two photos, one was Olivia and her mother, and the other was a picture taken by Elliot of Olivia and Alex at the bar for Olivia's 40th birthday. They were both laughing and smiling at each other, with their arms around one another's hips. Alex had never seen this picture before, but it warmed her heart.

Olivia was already walking down her long hallway when she started stripping her clothes off. Alex wasn't sure if she could handle seeing the woman who she had been fantasizing about stripping in front of her eyes, but she forced herself to remember that Olivia was feeling horrible, and just needed some help. Olivia removed her t-shirt to reveal a neon coral sports bra, dropping the shirt behind her in the hall. Alex followed her and picked it up, finally placing it in the hamper in Olivia's bedroom when they reached the threshold.

Olivia removed her jeans—they were so loose that she didn't even unbutton them, she just tugged a little to get them over her hips and they fell to the floor. Alex picked up the jeans and folded them neatly onto the bed. She couldn't help but see the size 6 tag peeking out from the waistband. She only ever remembered Olivia wearing a size 8, and now these 6's were too big. She thought back to earlier in the week when she saw Olivia for the first time in 3 years, and knew she was right—Olivia had lost weight, and had been working out like crazy. She was lost in thought when she heard Olivia mumbling.

"Thanks," Olivia sighed as she pulled on a pair of shorts and climbed into bed. "You can sleep in here if you want, or on the couch, or wherever you want. See you when you wake me up." The offer to sleep in bed with Olivia sent a shot to her heart, but she knew that Olivia didn't mean it that way, and was just trying to be polite before she fell asleep.

Alex knew it was paining Olivia to even speak, and her voice grew lower still as she sank into the bed. Alex chuckled. Even when she was in a bad mood, she was still startlingly cute. It was 2AM and Alex knew she would have to wake Olivia every 2 hours or so. Respectfully, Alex took a blanket and pillow out to the couch and came back in to say goodnight to Olivia.

"It's no problem. I'll be on the couch, but I'll come see you in a few hours." She placed a light hand on Olivia's forehead and caressed softly with her thumb.

"Goodnight Alex."

"Goodnight Olivia."