Chapter 13:

"Maddie!" Deacon yelled as he came into the kitchen of Rayna's house. "Maddie James get your ass down here now!"

"What?" she yelled back coming down the stairs. She was doing her best to present a cold, angry front but inside she was shaking. Her dad didn't oven lose his temper with her or Daphne, but he was mad, and she knew exactly why.

"Don't what me young lady, you know exactly what you did. You wanna explain to me why?"

"What is all the yellen about?" Rayna asked coming out of her music room.

"I don't know, he just stormed in her shouting," Maddie said innocently.

"Don't Maddie, you know damn well why I'm mad and you're gonna explain to me why you did what you did." Maddie stood defiantly refusing to admit anything.

Rayna had never seen him so angry at one of the girls. This particular brand of anger was only one that was ever directed at herself. She knew that whatever Maddie did it had to be serious for him to get this angry. "Maddie," she cautioned.

"I didn't do anything," she said throwing up her arms. Deacon took a step closer to their daughter, but Rayna stepped in front of her.

"Maddie, your dad isn't in here yellen about nothen so tell me what happened," she demanded.

"It's not a big deal," she replied as if that was an acceptable answer.

"Not a big deal! I tell you what's not a big, your social life, cause after today you can kiss it goodbye. You are grounded for the rest of the summer young lady, no phone, no computer, no guitar. Nothen!" he hollered at his daughter.

'No guitar' Rayna thought, now this was serious.

"You can't do that," Maddie yelled back helplessly.

"Oh yes I can, now get up to your room!" Maddie turned on her heel running up to her room and slamming the door. Now Rayna was left trying to calm Deacon down and figure out what crime her eldest daughter had committed.

She gave him a few minutes to pace around the kitchen before she asked him what happened. "You happened Ray!" he spat at her.

"What the hell did I do?" she asked in agitation not pleased that he was now focusing his anger on her.

"Stacie came over today and outta the blue she was asking all kinds of questions about me and you and whether or not I still loved you, then she broke up with me," he explained.

"Okay and that has to do with Maddie how?" she asked confused.

"Well it seems she and Maddie had a little talk this afternoon…"

"Wait, Maddie was at school."

"No, she skipped school and she went to see Stacie. Seems she wanted to set her straight on a few things." Rayna looked up at him even more confused that she had been. "Maddie told her we slept together," he finished angrily.

"She what!" Rayna couldn't believe her fourteen-year-old daughter would even say something that outrageous let alone say it to Deacon's girlfriend. "Why would she say something like that?"

"Hell, if I know Rayna!" he yelled.

"Stop yelling at me," she yelled back. "Where did she even get an idea like that? Did you tell Stacie it wasn't true?" she shouted unable to bring her own emotions down.

"Of course I did!" he shouted back before apologizing. He paced the kitchen a few more times before stopping. He rubbed his forehead and when he looked up at Rayna he seemed so beaten. "I told her we didn't have sex but apparently having you ex sleeping next to you in your bed isn't that acceptable either."

"Oh…," she looked down unable to meet his eyes. She felt bad for her part in this whole melt down. She had gone to him for comfort and he was there for her, like he had always been and in true Deacon fashion, it blew up in his face. "I'm sorry," she mumbled still refusing to meet his eyes.

He let out a dark laugh. "I guess being a nice guy doesn't get you much farther than being a mean ol' drunk." She did look up at him then. The fact that he could think that let alone voice it out loud caused shivers to run up her spin.

"Don't…," she took a few steps toward him, their eyes remaining locked. His hands were resting on the kitchen island and she put her hand over the one closest to her. She began to shake her head. "Don't you dare, ever say that again. The man you are today is nothing like that man you were back then. I'm sorry this happened but don't…," she couldn't finish. She could feel the tears building up, but she blinked them away. The pain from the time when he was drinking was a wound that never quite healed for her. It was always there in the back of her mind. Most of the time she could ignore it or push it away but hearing him talk like this scared the hell out of her. He was healthy now. He was a good man and a great father and for him to think that he wasn't much different from the angry, lost, drunk he was once was triggering.

Deacon sighed. He removed his hand from under hers, placed it on top of her hand and squeezed. "I'm sorry Ray, I didn't mean…"

"Just don't say things like that okay, you shouldn't even be thinking them," she said as she swiped at her eyes with her free hand.

He pulled away then and ran his hands through his hair. His white-hot anger had subsided, and he was tired. He almost forgot how much that type of anger took out of a person. He nodded towards the den and she followed him. They sat on the couch a couple feet from one another but facing each other.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, at Maddie, I was just so damn mad." Rayna stayed quiet encouraging him to continue. "Things… for the first time in a long-time things were good for me, ya know? I mean… it felt like okay we were finally moving on and I met this great person and then it was taken from me just like that. I screwed us up. That first go around, I broke us and maybe so much that we never really could be whole again. I can accept that but this… I wanted this to work." He looked up at her trying to make her understand.

Rayna did understand but she wished like hell that she didn't. He was basically telling her that he had accepted that they were really over and moved on. Not just moved on but found someone he could build a future with. She did her best to hide her own hurt so she could help him through his but with Deacon it was never easy to hide. "I'm sorry Deacon."

"I guess it's only fair. I took Maddie's shot at happiness away from her, so she did the same to me."

"What do you mean?" Rayna asked not following his logic.

"I couldn't give her the family she deserved, the one she wanted so…," he left her to fill in the rest not sure he could keep rehashing it.

"Deacon that is not true. Look at me," she demanded and he obeyed. The look on his face breaking her heart like it did a million times over their relationship. "You did not keep Maddie from having a family. She has a family, a wonderful family and we may not be traditional, but we are family. You are a wonderful daddy to both she and Daphne, don't ever doubt that. I couldn't imagine even doing any of this with anyone else. You're my partner and I am grateful for that." She paused waiting for him to acknowledge her words. When he finally did, he nodded at her in thanks. "And I gotta tell you, I am going to need my partner more than ever if this is going to be what Maddie's teenage years are gonna be like," she finished trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"Ray, I know I lost it, but I can't believe she would pull something like that."

"I don't think I've ever seen you lose it with one of them. If it's any consolation, I am pretty sure you scared the hell outta her," she finished with a chuckle, but Deacon wasn't laughing.

"I never wanted them to be scared of me," he said soberly. Deacon spent most of his childhood terrified of his father, scared about what he would do to him, his sister and his mother. He swore that if he ever had children that he would be different and when Maddie was born, he made that promise not just to her but to Rayna.

"Deacon it's not the same thing. She was wrong, more than that she hurt you. You reacted, you yelled at her, but you didn't hurt her. I know you would never do that," she finished confidently. They sat in silence for a couple more minutes lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Rayna's mind turned back to Maddie. "So, no guitar for the rest of the summer? That may actually kill her more than the phone and computer, actually it may kill me." He looked up at her, "I can barely handle her teenage mood swings now, the guitar is supposed to help her work out those feelings."

"Yeah well, we see how well that worked. Instead of writing 'Dad's Got a Girlfriend and I'm Mad', she took it upon herself to get rid of dad's girlfriend." They both laughed at that absurdity of their daughter's actions.

"I don't know where that girl got her nerve." Deacon just stared at her one eyebrow in the air. "What?" she asked defensively.

"I know you don't want to hear it but that is the Wyatt in her. That apple didn't fall to far from that tree." She scoffed at him, unimpressed by his comparison.

"Are you implying…"

"Not implying anything Rayna, you have just as much nerve as your daddy and your sister." She gave him a warning glare. "Difference is you use it for good, with one exception."

"Which is?" she asked dryly.

"When someone comes after someone you love. Lamar and Tandy are teddy bears compared to you protecting someone you care about. I would know, you had my back enough times." He smiled at her and she smiled back.

Before leaving, Deacon and Rayna talked through how they were going to handle Maddie. They agreed that there would be no phone, T.V. or computer for an entire month. They also agreed that there would be no guitar for a week. They both knew depriving her of music would be punishment for them as well as for her.

After Deacon left, Rayna made her way to Maddie's room. She was prepared to lay into her about what she had done to Deacon but when she opened the door, she found her curled up in bed, tears still streaming down her face. She broke Rayna's heart much in the same way her father had. She apologized to Rayna and explained what had happen. She told her mother how scared she was that her dad was moving on with someone else. She was scared that he was going to leave her and Daphne behind and start a new family with Stacie, in the same was her best friend's father had done to her. She knew she was wrong, but she panicked and acted out.

Rayna explained to her that Deacon would never leave her. She knew him better than anyone and she knew he could never walk away from her or Daphne. She also explained how much she hurt her father and that she was expected to take her punishment without any complaint. She also encouraged her to make amends with Deacon before hurt feelings could fester.

Once again she knew that Deacon was talking the brunt of the blame for decisions they both made. While Deacon's alcoholism may have done the original damage to their relationship, it was Rayna that couldn't move past the fear and the pain. Having Maddie was one thing, it wasn't planned, and it came at a low point for her and Deacon, but Daphne was conceived after his turn to sobriety. They were seeing each other; they were creating music with each other and they were sleeping together. After Daphne was born, she chose to let Deacon move in with them, she chose to be a family but there was always something holding her back and that nagging voice in the back of her head eventually lead to picking fights and lashing out. She was the reason they were moving on separately, but she could never voice that aloud. It was much easier for her to put all the blame on Deacon and he bore that burden out of his own guilt.

Later that night she also decided to tell Luke what happened the night of her father's heart attack. She was less worried about Maddie telling Luke directly, but Maddie was becoming close to Luke's son Colt and she didn't want Luke accidently hearing it from someone that wasn't her. He seemed to take it in stride when she broke the news, reassuring him that nothing happened between them. When he asked her why she didn't come to him instead of Deacon, she couldn't give him a straight answer. She mumbled something about wanting to be close to the girls and Deacon just happening to have them. He accepted that but they both knew it wasn't true. It was always Deacon she turned to when she was hurt or angry. He was her constant and Luke knew that without her having to admit it.

That night Rayna laid in bed curled up in Deacon's fourth favorite tee-shirt. She had been sleeping in it ever since the night she spent in his arms. She knew it was wrong, dating Luke and needing Deacon, but she did her level best not to think about it. She convinced herself that it was just a habit not so different from Maddie still sleeping with her favorite Teddy bear, though she had long outgrown the need. She didn't need to take his shirt; he was right when he said she had several of his shirts already. She didn't wear them often but every now and then she would slip one on, needing the feel of it on her skin. This shirt however had something the others no longer had and that was his smell. She spent the entire night in his arms and his shirt now had a mixture of detergent and his warm body. She wished she didn't need him so much, but she did.