Chapter 10

Recovery

"Alex?"

A voice came from the door and Alex opened her eyes and stretched out from the chair she had been sleeping in.

"Hey Elliot," she said as she yawned. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly 7PM, and Olivia was still sleeping.

"How are you? How is she?"

"Everything seems ok. The ride back was good and now we are just waiting for her to sleep some pain off."

Elliot breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. "That's great. She will be just fine."

"Elliot. Tell me. You were up there with her—what happened?"

"Well, I think she saw it before I did. I was talking to Carlson, but I knew he was getting mad. He let go of his rifle but raised his arm with his handgun in it. I thought that he was just rearranging himself so he could hold Kaley tighter, but he raised his arm up and pointed in my direction. Liv was to my right, and you were further back and to the right. He was turning to face Kaley when I said something that must have pissed him off. He fired, probably just trying to scare someone, but I saw the flash in Liv's eye. I think she jumped before he even pulled the trigger…Alex you've gotta know that this isn't your fault."

"I get that, but I just wish she wasn't in pain because of me," she paused. "God knows I've already caused her enough of that."

Silence hung in the air. After a few minutes, Elliot walked over to Olivia in the bed and touched her cheek. A devout catholic, Elliot closed his eyes and mouthed a silent prayer. He crossed himself, squeezed Olivia's hand and smiled at Alex.

"Try to relax. She will be ok. Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm ok. Everything ok with IAB?"

"Yeah. It was a clean shot they say. Probably the fastest a case has ever been closed with them," he said with a chuckle. "Helps that there were about 13 cops there to verify my story. You sure you'll be ok? I'm gonna head out."

"Yeah, I'm ok. Thanks. I'll tell her you were here."

Elliot left and Alex turned her attention back towards Olivia. The detective was sleeping soundly, and Alex got out of the chair and walked towards Olivia's bed. She grabbed an extra chair and slid it towards the bed. She held Olivia's uninjured left hand, tracing her thumb over the healed scar over her knuckle and began to think. After a few minutes, she started to speak.

"I wish I could tell you everything, Olivia. When I sent you that first email about getting dinner, I thought it would make our relationship a little better, but it just pushed you away from me, and I'm sorry for that."

The attorney paused. She normally had an army of words at her command, but at this moment, she was speechless.

"I don't even know where to start with you…I love you Olivia. I've always loved you, and I think I knew from the beginning that our relationship was something that was very special to me. I was scared to be outed in the DA's office, but now I understand that I was just intimidated, and I'm not afraid to be who I am anymore. The time I spent away from you was worse than any pain I have ever felt. And, when they let me return from WITSEC, my first thought was to come running to you, hoping that you would have me back in your life, in any capacity. But, I wasn't allowed to have contact with anyone for a while, just to make sure that there wasn't a price on my head still."

"I know this may sound weird, but I went back to your apartment and watched you a little bit. I just wanted to see you. But, then you stopped going around. I assume that was when you moved. I had to see you—I've never felt more like a stalker in my life." She laughed a little at this comment, but then looked back to the detective.

"You are my life now, Olivia—if you'll have me. I want nothing more than to be with you. You are a wonderful, beautiful, strong woman, and let's face it—you saved my life, Liv. I owe you everything, and I'm ready to give you all that I am. I can't be away from you again. When you were down earlier, I thought I had lost everything. I know it's wishful thinking on my part, that I thought you were saying 'I love you' to me. And then when you were looking into my eyes, I was so lost in you…but I know what you said was meant for Elli—"

"It was meant for you."

Alex's eyes widened in shock—her breath caught in her throat and she couldn't speak. She stood up and moved closer to Olivia, rubbing her hands up and down Olivia's left hand and arm. Her right arm and shoulder were still tied up in the black brace and sling.

"In case things din turn out so good." Olivia's words slurred and she was in and out, between awake and asleep. Alex could tell the pain medication was affecting Olivia, and she reminded herself that Olivia may not remember what she was saying, or hearing, tomorrow. Nevertheless, tears welled in Alex's eyes. She leaned down over Olivia's bed and placed a soft kiss on the detective's forehead as tears ran down her face. Olivia reached up with her good arm and held Alex's arm behind her elbow as she closed her eyes. Alex pulled back and looked into Olivia's eyes. Alex felt a vulnerability that she had never known, and knew she had to speak to Olivia honestly.

"I'm so sorry for everything Olivia. For leaving, for not coming back to you right away when I came back to New York, for…"

"Stop." Olivia held up her hand and from the look on her face, Alex could tell she meant it. "It's ok. We talk about it later. Don wanna to talk bout anthing now."

At that moment, a doctor walked through the door with a soft knock.

"Detective! I didn't expect you to be awake when I came by. It's great to see you awake and alert." The doctor wore a small, comforting smile and spoke in a gentle, surprising voice.

"I'm Dr. Howell, do you remember seeing me earlier?"

Olivia shook her head with a slight frown.

"That's ok. I just want to let you know that, especially since you're awake now, you seem to be making great progress. Do you remember what I told you about your surgery?"

Again, Olivia slowly shook her head.

"No problem. Well, one bullet went cleanly through your trapezius muscle up here," he motioned, but didn't touch, halfway between the detective's shoulder and neck. "The only trouble that caused is that it skimmed over a pretty major vein, so they patched that right up quickly, and that's where you lost most of your blood."

"The other bullet lodged into your shoulder, shattering part of your clavicle. They removed the bone shards and repaired that with a small plate. You'll need physical therapy for that—treat it as a sports injury. You are very lucky, detective." He smiled at both women in the room and Olivia returned a faint smile back.

"So, I'm going to move you upstairs in a few minutes and we will make sure everything heals correctly—you'll see the physical therapist in the morning…are you feeling ok? How's your pain?"

"Ok." Her eyes shifted towards Alex and her lips separated in a weak smile.

"Ok." The doctor understood the smile. "I'll order up a little more pain medication and we will get you moved right away."

"No, I don't want any." Her voice trailed off and she began to pout, still a little loopy from the medication.

"Are you sure? You'll probably be in a considerable amount of pain, especially for physical therapy in the morning."

Alex took over from here, looking towards Olivia. "She seems to really not want any. If she is in any more pain, I will find you or the nurse. Is that ok?"

"Ok," Doctor Howell said. "We'll move her right away."

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A few hours after Olivia was settled in her new room, she was awake and quickly struck up a conversation. The pain medication seemed to be wearing off, as Olivia's speech was much more formed and dictated. She watched for a few minutes as Alex was curled up in the chair next to her bed. She was reading a magazine, and Olivia couldn't help but find her astoundingly beautiful, as she watched her ocean blue eyes bound over each word on the page.

"Alex," Olivia started. "I need to talk to you." Olivia took a deep breath and waited for Alex to respond.

Alex jumped a little at the words—she didn't know Olivia was awake. She placed the magazine down, folding it down onto her lap. "Ok," she said as she readied herself.

"Please don't feel guilty for what happened last night—let me finish," Olivia noticed that Alex had opened her mouth to respond, and held up her hand to stop her. "Please, Alex, listen. I don't want you to think that it was, in any way, your fault. That's all I'm asking of you…ok?" Alex noticed the pleading look in the detective's eyes.

"Ok."

Olivia fell asleep shortly after the conversation and Alex was left to her thoughts. She looked through Olivia's bag and found her bloodied clothes, spare deodorant, and a book. 'A book,' Alex smiled at the thought. She opened the same book she had seen in Olivia's apartment a few weeks before—it was still marked on the same page with the same section underlined. Alex read it and smiled as she looked over to Olivia. She knew things would be ok.

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The detective winced as the black brace and splint were taken off. The physical therapist was helping the detective as his assistant came through the door. Immediately Alex recognized the blonde. She felt a pang of jealousy, but wanted to gauge Olivia's reaction.

"Olivia?!" The physical therapist's assistant walked quickly to the detective and placed her hands on Olivia's face. "Oh my god what happened to you?"

"Hope." Olivia's eyes were tired and Alex could instantly tell that she wasn't up for Hope's shit. Alex didn't know much, but she knew enough to understand that Olivia wasn't serious about this relationship, and she knew that Hope was basically using Olivia.

"Um I got shot. I'm fine. Thanks." Olivia pushed Hope's hands off of her face as she winced and looked at the physical therapist with pleading eyes. He must have sensed the tension, because he dismissed the blonde.

"Hey Hope can you go check on the guy in 1102? He needs a treatment and you can just do it while I'm in here."

"Sure, no problem. Feel better, Olivia." She said as she sauntered out of the room. Olivia rolled her eyes and turned her attention towards the therapist. "Thanks for that. Long story."

"It's no problem."

For the next hour, Alex watched as Olivia and the therapist worked on her shoulder, doing various exercises, explaining to both Alex and Olivia that she would have to continue to do these at least twice a day or else her shoulder would get stiff. Olivia nodded in agreement and finished the exercises set before her. After she was done, the therapist helped her put her arm back in the sling and brace, as she winced through the pain.

Hours later, Olivia awoke from her nap to find Alex speaking with Dr. Howell. She didn't open her eyes, but continued to listen.

"So, you think she will be ok to leave tomorrow night?"

"I think so. If not tomorrow, Thursday. Detective Benson is strong. As long as she continues to do her exercises and let those stitches heal, she should be just fine. But, she should probably be watched—I'm assuming you two live together?"

"Um no, actually. No, we don't." Alex immediately blushed at the doctor's assumption.

Suddenly, the doctor realized his error. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed…I mean, you've just been taking such great care of her, and staying by her side."

"No, it's ok—it's no problem. I'll make sure I keep an eye on her. Is there anything I can do to speed up the process? I know she will want to get back to work and normalcy soon."

"I don't think so—she will be just fine. Just make her do those exercises and watch the stitches."

With a smile, Alex nodded. "I can do that. Thanks for all of your help. I was scared we had lost her." Not wanting to sound too desperate, she covered herself quickly. "She is a great detective, and I know they want her back as soon as possible."

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It was late Wednesday night and an orderly was wheeling Olivia out of the hospital into Elliot's waiting car.

"Wow. That looks good on you, old lady." Elliot laughed as he opened the passenger door for Olivia, and helped her into the car. Alex climbed into the back and fastened her seatbelt. After Olivia was situated, she began to speak.

"For your information, Richard, it's standard protocol. Now take us to Alex's so she can get some clothes. She's gonna stay with me for a while." This was a surprise to both of them, but they both seemed ok with it. They stopped at Alex's apartment in The Village, and she got out.

"You need help?" Elliot asked this question, knowing that she would tell him to stay behind with his partner.

"No, I'm good. I'll be back down in a minute."

Elliot turned and looked toward Olivia. "You doing ok Liv?"

"Yeah. I'm sore, but I'm just happy to be alive."

"Liv…" Elliot paused, and Olivia knew what was coming. "Why?"

"I've realized what's important in my life, Elliot. I've spent too much time trying to deny what went on between Alex and me. I know what I need, and it's her. I've been thinking about it since I turned her down for dinner, and now that she's actually back for good, there are just so many things I can't deny…I've tried. I've tried to deny everything for the past few weeks, but I just end up feeling shittier than I did before."

"I'm not ready to tell her all of this yet, but I trust you, and I needed to tell someone." Olivia paused and thought carefully about her next sentence, as tears welled in her eyes and her mouth turned downward. "I am willing to protect her with my life, Elliot. Without her, I have nothing—I learned that when she was gone in WITSEC, and trying to deny it since she has been back has just been horrible for me. I think that's why I continued things with Hope for a little longer than I thought I should."

Elliot smiled and placed his hand on Olivia's back. "It's ok Liv." Tears rolled down his partner's face as he continued. "I'm glad you figured it out. And I know she'll take great care of you…now," he nodded at her shoulder, "and later." Elliot smiled and Olivia patted his leg with her left hand appreciatively as Alex walked out with a large bag. She opened the door and sat in the back of the car.

"Everything ok?" Alex asked, feeling that she had interrupted an intimate partner-to-partner conversation.

"Yeah," Olivia and Elliot said together, smiling at each other.