The next morning at the Jeffersonian, Angela couldn't hide her concern as Cam gave her the sad news.
"Brennan came home early? Why? Was it because..."
"I'm not really sure...something about feeling like her work at the dig had become tedious, which surprises me. I think it was more likely that she simply missed Booth." Cam bit her lip, sniffling as she turned away from the artist. "Unfortunately, she didn't know anything...about his death…so..."
"Oh, my God! Seriously?" Angela slumped into the chair next to Cam's desk. "I thought Sweets was going to contact her…that's what he said right after Booth died, right?"
"I thought so, too, but I guess he couldn't get through to the expedition for some reason. It seems internet access in that region of Costa Rica is spotty at best. Anyway, she showed up at his office yesterday, and he had to break the news to her about Booth's death. Of course, it was quite a shock for her, as you can imagine."
"Poor Brennan! I imagine she was looking forward to seeing Booth and then...wow, that's terrible. I can't believe no one told her until yesterday. Why didn't he send a telegram to the expedition's director or something? Surely there were ways to contact the guy running the dig if it's an emergency…" Angela brushed away a tear. "And she's probably angry with us, wondering why none of us contacted her, either."
"I know. I guess we shouldn't have relied on Sweets. He let us down again, right?" Cam reached in her desk drawer and pulled out the program from Booth's funeral. "She sent me an email last night saying she'd be in later today. Do you think she'll want to look at this?"
"Who knows?" Angela ran her fingers gently over the portrait of Booth that had been printed on the front. "She doesn't put much stock in the whole funeral thing, but she did care for him...a lot." The artist shook her head as she stared at the program's cover. "This whole thing just sucks, you know? I mean, I think if Booth had recovered from his surgery, they might've finally gotten together. I think Brennan was becoming more open to a relationship with him, and he was so crazy about her…and it's just not fair."
"You're right...it's not...not fair at all, but we can't do anything about that now." Cam stood up and smoothed her dress. "I'm going to inform the staff of Dr. Brennan's return...and maybe give them a heads up about how to act around her. I feel sure she won't want to discuss this issue with anyone…she'll want to act like it's business as usual..."
"True...although I may see if I can break the ice with her." Angela sighed as she rose from her seat. "She hasn't had time to grieve. She'll tell me she doesn't need it, but…"
"But she will. We all will." Cam tried to smile as she brushed away a tear. "You're a good friend, Angela."
"Thanks, Cam." Angela followed Cam out of her office, wondering just how good a friend she was since she hadn't contacted Brennan immediately after Booth's death. I just assumed she knew...you wait 'til I see that jackass Sweets…he should've done more...I can't believe he dropped the ball like that...
Ooooooooo
Walking purposefully across the lab, Brennan barely acknowledged greetings from the lab's staff members, avoiding eye contact if she could. She didn't need small talk or condolences right now. What she needed was to get back to work. Working would help her focus...it would keep her mind off of her pain.
Reaching her office, she paused to unlock the door. By simple muscle memory and force of habit, she switched on the lights, shut the door behind her, powered on her computer, and pressed the button next to the flashing light on her desk phone.
"Hello, Dr. Brennan. This is Dr. Pendergraff from the fertility clinic. Your test results are in, and everything looks good, so we can go ahead with the procedure at your convenience. Call me back when you get the chance and we'll work out the specifics."
The voicemail ended and the machine asked her if she'd like to replay, call back, or delete the message. The blinking red light caught her eye again and she watched it pulse for a moment. In all the uproar over Booth's tumor and his subsequent surgery, it seemed she had completely forgotten that he'd donated semen so that she could undergo artificial insemination.
What a horrible parent I'd be...I've completely forgotten that I wanted a child, haven't I...and I won't have Booth around to teach me how to be a good parent…but he wanted me to do this, didn't he? And I'll be at the correct point in my cycle in a few days...
She stared at the phone, pondering her choices. Inhaling deeply, she finally made a call.
"Hello, this is the Compton Fertility Clinic. I'm Megan. How may I help you?"
"Hello. My name is Dr. Temperance Brennan, and I'm returning Dr. Pendergraff's call. I have a sample waiting. When is your earliest available appointment? Next Monday at 9 AM?" She paused slightly. One last chance to back out... "Yes, that's fine. Thank you."
She ended the call, and was lost in thought when a visitor appeared in the doorway.
"Hey, Sweetie."
Somewhat startled, Brennan stared at her best friend for a few seconds before turning away. "Good morning, Angela." Settling at her desk, Brennan accessed her email without meeting her friend's worried gaze. "How have you been?"
"Listen, Bren...I just want to say I'm so sorry…you know, about Booth..."
"That's not necessary. You've done nothing that makes an apology necessary." Pinching her lips together, Brennan focused on her monitor. "Do we have any active cases at the moment?"
"No...it's been pretty quiet around here since...you know, since we don't have an active FBI liaison..." Angela came into the office and sat down in front of Brennan's desk. "Anyway, I wanted to say that I'm sorry I didn't call you to let you know about Booth's passing. If I'd had any idea that Sweets hadn't told you…"
"Evidently, the timing of the call, no matter who it came from, wouldn't have made any difference, given the sudden nature of Booth's demise.," Brennan said, trying to remain calm. "It seems that there was nothing anyone could've done to prevent his death. I suppose even if I had been with him at the hospital…the results would've been the same." She choked back a sob, struggling to maintain her composure. "However, what's done is done, and it's time to move on." She stood up suddenly and took her lab coat from its hook. "I'm going down to bone storage to work on the unidentified remains from World War I..."
"Brennan, wait…" Angela quickly followed her best friend out of the office. "You need to take some time...you know, to grieve for Booth…"
"Taking time to grieve won't bring him back, Angela. Nothing will. I can't change what has happened, so I must accept it and adapt as best as I can. Now, if you'll excuse me…" Turning, Brennan hastily walked away, leaving Angela standing alone in the middle of the lab.
Oooooooooo
Entering her silent apartment that evening, Brennan threw her purse on the table and walked over to the window, watching the stream of cars moving along the street below. She found it amazing that people could still go about their daily business when her world had been completely turned upside down. But that's how it works, isn't it? Another good man is gone, and no one seems to care...and things are quickly back to 'normal', such as it is. How do people function after such a loss? Am I the only one who feels his loss so keenly?
Normally Booth would be the first person she'd go to when she wanted to discuss some sort of philosophical dilemma...but, of course, that was no longer possible. Walking to the kitchen sink, she filled a kettle to heat up some water for tea. She hadn't bothered to go to the grocery store...she hadn't had time, and she wasn't hungry, anyway. She just needed to be alone...to think...to contemplate her future...
She groaned in frustration as her solitude was interrupted by a knock on her door. After peering through the peephole, she sighed loudly as she opened it. "I'm busy, Angela. What do you want?"
"We need to talk." Ignoring Brennan's protests, Angela bustled in and put a bag of Thai takeout on the kitchen table. "I know you haven't been out to get any food, so I brought some with me. You need to eat, Sweetie. Starving yourself isn't going to bring him back."
"I don't want to talk…or eat anything..." Tapping her foot anxiously, Brennan stood in the middle of the kitchen with her arms wrapped around her body. "I don't want to…do...anything..." Suddenly sobbing, she sank to the floor, rocking back and forth in anguish. "I don't want to think about...life without Booth…I don't want to think...about anything...I just..."
Shocked at Brennan's tears, Angela hurried to comfort her friend as she sat huddled on the floor. Enveloping her into a hug, she let Brennan cry as she crooned softly. "I'm so sorry, Bren...I'm so sorry…I'm here..."
"What am I going to do now, Angela?," Brennan whispered. "What am I going to do?" She wiped away a tear. "I'm sorry. This outburst isn't helping matters, but it seems that I just couldn't stop it from happening…I feel so overwhelmed...and you know I don't always handle strong emotions well..."
"Sweetie, you don't need to apologize for anything. You're grieving, okay? Believe it or not, this is exactly what you need to do. There's no reason to hold all your pain inside anymore. Let it all out." Angela sighed quietly. "It's okay to let yourself be sad...and I'll be sad with you, if you want…"
"I'd like that." Biting her lip, Brennan sniffled as she wiped her eyes.. "Can you stay with me for awhile?"
Angela nodded. "I'll stay as long as you want."
"Thank you, Angela. Thanks for being here..."
"You bet."
##########
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Angela glanced at her friend as they sat in the fertility clinic's waiting room. "It's a big step…especially considering everything that's happened recently. Maybe it's not wise to make such a big decision so soon after losing Booth..."
Brennan nodded as she scrolled through her phone. "Yes, I'm sure." Sighing softly, she smiled at Angela. "I know why you're concerned about the timing of my appointment, but I assure you, I'm not being impulsive. I'd considered this when Booth was alive, remember? And given that I wrote a pregnancy into Booth's coma story...I think having a child has been on my mind for a long time." Shrugging, she put her phone in her purse. "Before Booth went into surgery for his brain tumor, he said that if he didn't survive, he wanted me to use his donation so I could have a child. Now that he's actually dead...it seems like the best way to honor his wishes is to go through with the insemination…"
Angela's brow furrowed in concern. "I understand, Brennan, but you're going to be raising the baby alone. That's a huge responsibility."
"I won't be alone, Angela." Brennan smiled as she took Angela's hand. "I'll have you..."
Their conversation was interrupted by a technician. "Dr. Brennan? We're ready for you now…"
As she rose from her seat, Brennan smiled fondly at Angela. "Thanks for being here with me…"
"Of course, Sweetie. That's that friends are for." Watching as her friend stepped into the inner office, Angela shook her head. "I hope she knows what she's doing…"
OOOOOOOOOO
Two weeks.
That was the recommended time to wait before taking a pregnancy test after artificial insemination.
Brennan had waited four weeks.
She wasn't sure what had stopped her from taking the test on the recommended time schedule, but when that second week began, she just couldn't bring herself to do it, fearing that she'd be sorely disappointed if the results were negative. Then she was asked to consult on an Egyptian skeleton found in a newly discovered crypt, and she was too tired for the rest of the week to think about the possibility of being pregnant...or so she told herself.
Soon she realized she was just putting off the inevitable. So one Saturday morning, approximately four weeks after the insemination procedure, she was sitting on the bathroom floor. leaning against the closed door, holding a small white plastic stick in her hands. It was just one of many scattered around the bathroom floor. Wanting to be sure, she had taken six tests, and all had the same result.
Angela tapped on the other side of the door. "Sweetie? What's the verdict?"
"Come see for yourself." Puffing out a deep breath, she moved to allow Angela to enter. "It's positive."
Nodding, the artist joined her friend on the floor and together they stared at the opposite wall for a few minutes before she asked, "Are you happy, Brennan?"
Furrowing her brow, Brennan responded quietly. "Yes, I suppose I am. After all, I did want this. It's just…"
"I know, Sweetie. It's hard to be happy when he's not here to see it...to share the good news with you I get that." Angela stood up and offered her friend a hand. "Come on...let's go." She pulled Brennan to her feet. "There's something we need to do...right now."
Confused, Brennan looked at her friend in surprise. "Where are we going, Ange?"
"We're going to go say hi to your baby's father."
oo0oo
Brennan's protests over the futility of visiting the cemetery went unheeded as Angela practically dragged her friend out to the car. "Trust me...you may not think so right now, but you need to do this. Get in."
Grumbling quietly, Brennan turned to the window and sat with her chin in her hand as Angela pulled out of the building's parking garage.. After a few minutes of silence, Angela touched her shoulder and she grudgingly turned to look at her friend.
"So you're four weeks along?"
Brennan shook her head and turned back to the window. "Six. It's measured from the date of your last menses. I'm six weeks along."
Angela nodded as she drove through the cemetery's front gates. "Go on, Sweetie. I'll go park the car and meet up with you in a few minutes."
"Angela, I don't see the point of this. It's not like he'll know I'm there..."
The artist reached over, unclipped Brennan's seat belt and gently pushed her out the door. "Just go, okay? For me? Please?"
"Angela, I don't even know where he's buried!" Brennan's protests fell on deaf ears as her friend drove away. Sighing, she turned to the cemetery and after looking at a nearby directory, headed towards the newest burials.
It took almost an hour, but she eventually found his grave. He'd been interred underneath a large oak tree. His headstone was painfully generic, with only his name, military rank, and birth and death dates engraved on the upright white marble slab. There was so much more that could've been said about Seeley Booth, like what a good father and friend he'd been, or how brave and kind he was, or that he was a brave, intelligent and resourceful FBI Special Agent, but instead, the positive impact he'd had on the lives of so many others had been reduced to a few simple facts.
Brennan stood silently in front of the grave for several minutes, eventually realizing that Angela was not going to join her. The wind was blowing softly across the grassy lawn, gently rustling the leaves above her head. It was so quiet...so peaceful there under the tree. He would be pleased with this spot…
Glancing up to admire the tree, she caught sight of a small camera attached to a branch, aimed at the headstones below. Shrugging it off as security in a military cemetery, she turned back to the grave in front of her and took a deep breath.
"Hi Booth. It's me Tempr- Bones. It's Bones." Suddenly embarrassed, she glanced away, shaking her head. "This is ridiculous."
After a moment to regain her composure, she quietly resumed the one sided conversation. "I wanted to tell you that...I'm pregnant. I, uh...I found out this morning. I'm only six weeks, so as of now, only Angela knows, but I suppose the others will find out soon, won't they? As you may suspect, I used your sample; it's your child I'm carrying...so thank you."
She exhaled slowly. "I wish you could be here to see your child. I know you'd like that very much. I know how much you enjoy being a parent." A feeling of despair suddenly washed over her. "I, um..I didn't believe Sweets when he first told me you were dead...and in some ways I still don't, I suppose. Anyway, after I left him, I asked Agent Perotta. Forcefully." She smiled slightly as she remembered Perotta's stunned expression. "And she confirmed it...she said it was true...that you had died while I was in Costa Rica...and so here you are."
She stared at the headstone for a minute before continuing. "Angela says you died about a week before I got home, but I haven't been out here until today. She thinks it'll help me, though I'm not sure what she thinks it will help me with. I suppose this visit is supposed to help me process my emotions, but I'm not sure it's working...I stlll feel...quite confused about everything that's happened recently."
She bit her lip as her eyes filled with tears. She hated feeling this way...weak and unsure of herself. Shoving her hands into her pockets, she took a minute to blink her tears away before continuing. It seemed that once she had started talking to Booth, she couldn't stop. There were several things she needed to say.
She stared at the newly turned earth in front of her. "I know why you drew that line between us, Booth. I know you said we shouldn't cross it, but, just so you know, I wanted to. I really did. You were handsome and kind and loyal and supportive and fun. I couldn't ask for a better work partner, but I wanted more."
She wiped away a solitary tear. "I guess it doesn't matter now."
Sighing quietly, she turned away from the headstone, and took a deep breath before looking out over the rolling green lawn before her.. Raising her head and squaring her shoulders, she walked towards the visitors' parking lot.
As she passed another large tree, something hard hit the back of her skull, and her vision went black.
Oooooooooo
Booth was pacing the floor of his hospital room, madder than hell. It had been a week since he'd last seen Sweets, and the psychologist hadn't dared to show his shrinky face around Walter Reed after he'd left that day. One week had passed...that was the deadline, and still no word from that scrawny assed kid. Well, we'll just see about that.
Gazing out the window at the hospital grounds below, Booth made up his mind, knowing what he had to do. He was gonna break out of the joint and take care of Vorstenbach with his bare hands, if necessary, and then he was gonna fly to San Jose', Costa Rica, and when he got there he was gonna make Bones come back home…
That was the plan...but that was also the problem. Would he really be able to make Bones come back to the States with him if she didn't want to? And what if...his heart almost stopped beating as he considered another possibility. What if she wanted to stay in San Jose' because she'd met someone new? Someone who was at one hundred percent? Someone who could remember where he lived and how to tie his own shoes?
Almost as soon as the wave of self pity washed over him, he shook it off. Maybe Bones did have a new guy, but Special Agent Seeley Booth was still gonna have his say on the matter. He was gonna let her know how he felt, even if Sweets thought he didn't really love her. He knew for certain that what he felt wasn't because of some goddamn coma dream or the result of his brain surgery. He'd always loved Bones, and he wasn't about to give her up without a fight.
His mind made up, he pressed the call button for the nurse, and the guy showed up almost immediately. "You look like you're feeling better, Mr. Booth. I'm Nurse Redmond, remember? What can I do for you? Do you need me to help you into the shower?"
Booth scowled as he looked over the kid, who was probably even younger than Sweets. "I need you to call Dr. Jursik or whoever the hell is in charge of this fucking hellhole and tell them that I need to be discharged immediately." He held up his hands to stop the nurse's protest. "I don't care what you have to do to get the jackass off the golf course. Just get him to sign my release so I can blow this joint."
"I don't think that's a good idea, Mr. Booth. Here, let me check your vitals." The nurse reached over to grasp the agent's wrist. "Let's get your blood pressure…"
Pulling his hand away, Booth's voice rose in anger. "Listen, I already know my blood pressure if off the charts, and I don't give a flying fuck. You just get on the horn and get that mother fucker over here to dismiss me, or I'm walking out of here on my own and you can explain to your floor supervisor where your patient has gone off to without permission, okay? You've got about two seconds to decide…" He stood with his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at the young nurse. "Okay, now we're down one second…"
About the time he was ready to throw the nurse out on his ass, the door swung open. "Calm yourself down, Booth. We've got things under control." Director Cullen nodded for the nurse to leave before making himself comfortable in a chair next to the bed. "So you're breaking out of the joint, huh? Gonna go AWOL on me? Sweets told me you were upset…"
"Upset doesn't even begin to cover it, Sam!" Shocked to see that Director Cullen was actually visiting him, Booth sat on the edge of his bed and nodded slowly. "You know me, sir...I can't just sit around and do nothing. I'm going crazy and I can't take much more of this solitary confinement jazz..."
Cullen pursed his lips slightly as he listened to the man's complaint. "But that was the deal, Booth. You know that. You're supposed to lie low until we can get that bastard Vorstenbach off the streets, right?"
"You're right, but I can't help but feel like it'd be better if I was back at work, trying to draw the son of a bitch out of hiding, Sam. It seems like that'd be a better use of my time…" Booth sighed heavily as he realized how pathetic he sounded, but he couldn't tell Cullen that he wanted to go to Central America to bring Bones home. He needed a more reasonable excuse to leave the hospital. "I'm a good investigator...I can use my skills to track the son of a bitch instead of sitting here in a fucking hospital room twiddling my thumbs, okay?"
"Well, it looks like you're gonna get your wish, Booth." Cullen nervously drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair. "You see, we have a problem…"
Suddenly Booth was suspicious. He'd never seen Cullen this anxious before, and it worried him. "What kind of problem?," he asked, not sure if he really wanted to know.
"It's about Dr. Brennan…" Cullen sighed as he shifted in his chair, and Booth wondered if the director could hear the way his heart was pounding in his chest.
"I know...Sweets said she's taken a job at a university out of the country." He waited for some explanation, trying to understand what Cullen was telling him. Seeing the Director's sheepish expression, Booth's gut instinct went into high gear. "Wait...you mean she's been in DC all this time, and nobody was gonna tell me? I'm gonna kill that rotten little son of a bitch…who made that fucking decision? Goddammit, Sam...tell me the truth!"
"That was the cover story he was supposed to give you so you'd be less anxious to leave the hospital, but it seems he didn't sell it well. He was afraid you'd leave town in a hurry if we let you be dismissed from the hospital, and that would lead to all sorts of unwanted complications. However…" Cullen cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable. "...unfortunately, now we have an even bigger complication to worry about. You see, Dr. Brennan has been back from her archaeological dig for several weeks, and, um, when she returned, Sweets told her you'd died from complications after your surgery."
"She's been back for weeks? Sweets told her I had died? Son of a bitch! He promised me he'd let her know! Goddammit! What gives the Bureau the right to fuck with our lives like that? She'll never forgive me when she finds out the truth!" Booth's eyes widened in horror. "And does she even know about Vorstenbach? She's a sitting duck out there…God, if something happens to her...I promise you...someone will pay big time..."
"I know, Booth, and I'm sorry. Things went to hell real quick." Anticipating several angry questions, Cullen continued slowly, trying to calm the furious man in front of him. "I've had a surveillance detail on her since she got back from Costa Rica, but something unforeseen has happened." The Director rose from the chair and turned away, walking over to the window. "She and her friend, Ms. Montenegro, drove out to Arlington National Cemetery yesterday, probably trying to find your headstone. The agent tailing Dr. Brennan said she was very upset, so he gave her some space, following behind at a respectful distance, but after Dr. Brennan passed by a large tree, it seemed that she just disappeared…"
"Seriously? How can someone just disappear from Arlington like that?" Booth's pulse was racing as adrenaline flooded through his body. "Has there been a ransom note?" He gasped audibly as another thought occurred to him. "You didn't find her...body…"
"No, nothing like that, Booth. We have no reason to believe that Dr. Brennan has been killed. We think that bastard Vorstenbach wants to use her as bait...that he's gonna use her to get to you. He's smart, and I'm sure he knows you're in love with her…" Chuckling at Booth's startled expression, Cullen interrupted the agent's frantic denial. "Can it, okay? That's not what's important right now. What's important is that you get out of this damn hospital room so you can come back to work and help us find her. Sweets will be there to assist you in case you still feel unsure about things, but, from what I can tell, your instincts are still intact. What do you think? Are you ready to come back to work?"
"Of course, I'll come back, but I really don't want Sweets around me at all, or I might throttle him. Nasty lying little rat bastard..." Seeing Cullen's displeasure, Booth sighed as he walked over and pulled his duffel bag from the tiny closet. "Yeah, you're right...I might need some help. Finding Bones is my number one priority, so Sweets can assist me with this situation...on one condition. After this is over, I never want to talk to that smug littel bastard again, okay?" Seeing Cullen nod, he continued. "But for now...call Sweets and let's get started. I gotta find Bones…I'll be ready in ten minutes."
"Good. I'll have the doctors get the paperwork together." Cullen gave him a pat on the shoulder, trying to smile, but Booth could see the worry in his eyes. "Glad to have you back on board, Seeley."
"Thank you, sir." Booth said a silent prayer as he threw his few belongings into his bag, hoping against hope that he''d quickly have his Bones back by his side, where she belonged.