A/N: This chapter may be upsetting but things will start improving from here...eventually. Laura

Booth stood dumbfounded at the unbelievable news he'd just received, silently watching as the ultrasound technician got his equipment ready in order to do the scan. Thoughts swirled frantically through the agent's mind as he tried to make sense of what Brennan had just told him.

Finally, he ventured a question. "So, um...I guess this means you used my donation, huh, Bones…"

"Yes, of course, Booth. I haven't had sexual intercourse with anyone recently, if that's what you're asking." Brennan avoided eye contact with him, studying the cast on her right wrist as she continued. "I'm...well, sorry isn't the correct word to use in this situation, I suppose. Perhaps 'disappointed' is a better choice, or 'disturbed' or 'upset'. I'm not sorry for making the choice to bear your child when I thought you were dead. As we discussed, I've always considered you to be an exceptional donor. I do feel that it's unfortunate that you found out this way, having it thrust upon you as it was under these stressful circumstances, but I had no reason to believe you were still alive…and now it looks like my choice was not appropriate...and for that I am very sorry…" She sniffled softly. "and very sad..."

"There's no reason to apologize, Bones." Moving to stand closer to her, Booth took her hand to soothe her. "There were no strings attached to my donation, okay? It was my decision to give it to you as a gift, with the idea that you could use it whenever you wanted…"

"Yes, I understand that, but I fully intended on telling you when I decided to do so, and now…" Tears filled her eyes as she watched the sonographer make his preparations. "It seems like it was a terrible mistake…I feel as if I've let you down..."

"Listen to me, Bones..." Booth swallowed hard, trying to control his overwhelming emotions. "...no matter what happens with this pregnancy, I'm gonna be here for you, okay? If things turn out bad this time, you can try again…and anyway, you didn't let me down, alright? What happened to you was completely out of your control..."

"Excuse me." The technician moved to a place opposite of Booth. "I need to begin the exam…" To prepare his patient, the sonographer squirted some warm gel on Brennan's abdomen and ran the probe through it. "Let's see what's going on here…"

Brennan, Booth, and Angela all fixed their eyes on the video screen as blurry images began to appear. "Hmm…" Frowning slightly, the sonographer moved the probe to a different angle and ran it across Brennan's lower abdomen before trying a third and then a fourth angle. After processing some stills of the ultrasound, he glanced at his patient and shook his head slightly before wiping up the excess gel. "I need to talk to Dr. Morrow…"

Watching the technician leave, Brennan gripped Booth's hand tightly as she whispered to herself. "There was no heartbeat…"

"What?" Booth turned to her in shock. "No heartbeat? What does that indicate? I mean, it's kinda early, isn't it?"

"No, not really." Brennan bit her lip, hoping to fight off her tears, but it was no use. "It's not too early. A fetal heartbeat can often be heard as early as six weeks…but it wasn't there...there was nothing..." She wept bitterly. "It looks like I've lost the baby…"

Her murmurings were interrupted by Dr. Morrow's arrival. "How are you feeling, Dr. Brennan?"

Trying to compose herself, she wiped her eyes. "As well as can be expected, considering the extent of my injuries. However, I don't want to discuss that right now. Tell me what the technician said about my sonogram…"

The physician was grim as he sat on the foot of the bed. "Well, unfortunately, based on the preliminary exam, I'm afraid the news is not good." Sighing softly, he shook his head. "It does appear as if your fall has caused you to miscarry. However, we're still waiting on the final report from the radiologist. Tell me, have you been to see your OB-GYN about your pregnancy?"

"No, I haven't had a chance...I took the pregnancy test quite recently...and then I was assaulted almost immediately afterwards…" Trying to be calm, she spoke quietly. "So no heartbeat?"

"No, I'm afraid not. However, based on the initial sonogram, it doesn't appear as if your uterus has been compromised, so you should be able to conceive again after you've had time to heal." He shrugged sadly. "I know that information doesn't really help you feel better right now, but it's my understanding that this was your first pregnancy, correct?"

As she nodded, Dr. Morrow continued. "I see. Well, occasionally women have difficulty maintaining their initial pregnancy, and, in your case, the rough fall you had certainly added some difficult complications. However, when you've sufficiently recovered from your injuries, if you and your partner want to try again, there is every indication that you would be successful in bringing your next pregnancy to term." He stood up and smoothed his lab coat. "I'm sorry I didn't have better news. I'll come by tomorrow to get your gynecologist's name so we can inform their office about the loss of your pregnancy. They'll most likely want to see you in a week or two to make sure you're recovering properly. We can also discuss discharging you from the hospital after the surgical repair on your wrist. The orthopedist has planned to do that early tomorrow morning, and if everything goes according to plan, you can go home the day after tomorrow. "

"Thank you." Blinking back her tears as the doctor left, Brennan squeezed Booth's hand. "I'm so sorry, Booth…I know you wanted to help with the baby, and now...there won't be a baby..." Closing her eyes, she shook her head. "I wanted this so badly...and now...it's gone…"

"Oh, Sweetie...that's awful news. I know how upset you must be..." Dabbing at her eyes with a tissue, Angela cleared her throat as she glanced at her distraught friends. "I"m gonna go get a cup of coffee...and give you two some time to talk…"

As the door closed behind her, Booth pulled a chair close up to Brennan's bed and sat down, hoping he could console her. "You don't have anything to be sorry for, Bones. None of this was your fault." Clenching his fist, he ran a knuckle under his eye as he growled softly. "Sweets on the other hand...he's gonna pay…big time..."

"Why would you blame Sweets? That seems irrational…," she asked in surprise. "He had nothing to do with my abduction and subsequent injuries…"

"Yeah, actually he did...he lied to you, saying I was dead...and that's why you went ahead and used part of my donation, right? And if you hadn't thought I was dead, you wouldn't have gone out to Arlington...and maybe the guy wouldn't have nabbed you..."

"But Sweets wasn't the reason I fell down the stairs…and if someone really wanted to kidnap me, they would've followed me to some other place...I'm sure the cemetery was merely convenient." She sniffled slightly as she heaved a deep sigh. "I don't even know if I was pushed by my abductor…it could've been a simple misstep...or perhaps I tripped over something…it all happened so fast, and I don't remember all the details..." She paused slightly. "I know you want to blame someone, but Sweets didn't cause my injuries…"

Hesitating for a few seconds, Booth crossed his arms over his chest. "I suppose that's true, but the way he's lied to both of us has caused all sorts of problems, both in the past as well as in the present, and I'm tired of it. I'm not gonna let it go this time. If nothing else, I'm gonna talk to Cullen to see if we can get that sneaky little bastard fired from the FBI, especially since he keeps fucking with our lives by sticking his nose where it doesn't belong." He nodded slightly as he changed the subject. "So, anyway, did you see the guy that nabbed you from Arlington?"

"Yes...I got a good look at him when he pulled me out of his van after we arrived at that abandoned warehouse. Let me see…" Her brow furrrowed as she recalled the man's face. "...he's between 5'9" and 6 feet tall...a stocky, broad shouldered build with a robust bone structure and of average weight, and he's probably in his late forties or early fifties. He has brown eyes and dark hair with a slightly receding widow's peak hairline, and dark thick eyebrows...no mustache or beard..."

She paused, trying to recall some more details. "His zygomatic arches are quite prominent." Smiling faintly, she gently ran her fingers across Booth's cheek. "Even more prominent than yours. He's not very attractive...his features are asymmetrical with irregular sharp angles...he has a square jaw with a prominent mental protuberance, and his brown eyes are deep set and rather close together. Also, he has some sort of accent…Austrian, I think,,,"

"Oh my God…" Booth stared at her in horror. "Are you sure about that? Because that sounds just like Dick Vorstenbach…"

Brennan was surprised at his strong reaction. "You mean the man from your coma dream? I don't understand…"

"Yeah, I know you don't...and I guess since I chose not to tell you everything that's related to that son of a bitch, that makes me as big a liar as Sweets is." Embarrassed, Booth pulled his hand away from her and turned away. "It's a long story, Bones…"

"Well, it's not as if I have to be anywhere within the next few days…" Wincing slightly as she shifted in bed, she took his hand again. "I need to know what's going on, Booth…" Tilting her head as she gazed at him, she sniffled slightly. "I hope you had a very good reason for playing dead, Booth. I was quite...devastated...when Sweets told me that you'd died from an embolism while I was on my expedition to Costa Rica. I believe I deserve an explanation as to why you broke your promise to me. You said you wouldn't do this sort of thing again, remember?"

"Yeah...okay. You're right...it was a lousy thing to do to you, and I'm sorry." Shifting nervously in his chair, he found it difficult to meet her intense gaze. "But I gotta say this first, okay? Sweets was supposed to tell you the truth...that I was actually alive. I made sure he understood how awful it made you feel last time we pulled this stunt, and he said he'd tell you, but when all is said and done, I made the mistake of trusting him instead of taking care of it myself. Now, obviously he fucked that chore up again for some stupid reason, but...anyway…" Booth exhaled slowly. "I guess I fucked up big time, too, because I helped Sweets and Cullen cook up a scheme to get you to leave the country." Hearing her shocked gasp, he shrugged. "Just let me explain, okay? See, in addition to my regular FBI job, I've been doing some RICO work on the side for Cullen and Deputy Director Hacker, helping out a task force that's been trying to break up a mob that calls themselves the Council, and their shady real estate buddies, a group that the FBI has given the code name of 'the Persians'. Unfortunately, the Council figured out that one of their 'employees' had ratted them out to the FBI, and they made an example of him by having the Persians torture the poor guy to death. It seems that before he died, the guy gave them my name as the agent leading the investigation into their activities."

"Booth! Why would you do something so dangerous?!" Brennan shook with anger as she regarded her partner. "You might've gotten yourself killed!"

"Yeah, I know. It was pretty stupid, but Cullen needed a favor, and so, because he's done a few big favors for me in the past, I decided to help him out. At first it was supposed to be simply reconnaissance and surveillance work...checking out places the Council and the Persians were using for their illegal activities without actually going inside or talking to anyone, so it should've been relatively safe. Unfortunately, things got complicated real fast, and I became involved with managing the task force's confidential informants. That's when things went to hell in a big hurry. Somehow one of my CIs was compromised...and the Persians took him out. I don't know how his cover got blown. I was trying to figure that out when all the shit came up with my goddamn brain tumor."

He shrugged slightly, embarrassed again as he realized how stupid the plan they'd developed was going to sound to his partner. "Anyway, that's where Vorstenbach comes in. He's the mechanic for the Council and the Persians...you know, their hired gun. Unfortunately, his MO isn't to just go gunning for his target right away. He's a real sadistic bastard, and he likes to play with a guy's emotions for a while before he does the deed...as a way of taunting them, I guess. He prefers to have the target come to him...he wants the target to fall into a trap, so he normally kidnaps someone close to his target and uses them as bait...someone the target cares about…a lot...and then he uses them to get a guy's attention...and so when the target shows up to help the 'bait', he kills them both."

"That's...terrible. I can't imagine…"

"Yeah, it is. Anyway, I had already warned Rebecca, and she'd sent Parker to stay with her parents for a while." Booth faltered, hoping to find the right words. "But I knew...that, in reality... if he was gunning for me, he'd come after you first, because he knows...everybody knows...how I feel…how much I care about you...so I had to get you out of town...out of harm's way. I couldn't let him find you…I just couldn't take that chance, so..."

Springing from the chair, Booth began to pace the small hospital room. "So that's why Sweets and I pushed you into going to Costa Rica for the dig. I hated it, Bones...I wanted you to stay home so badly so you could help me recover from my surgery, but…I was also desperate to keep you safe..."

"So instead of being honest with me about the situation, you pushed me away instead.," she said quietly, obviously upset. "But if you wanted me to stay, why did you ask me to leave? Is it merely because you wanted to protect me? It was because you were afraid he'd injure me, correct? So it turns out that my leaving had nothing to do with your emotional rehabilitation...it was just a convenient way to avoid having to worry about your partner!" She shook her head in disgust. "It would've been so much easier just to tell me the truth instead of creating such an elaborate lie! Besides, I can take care of myself, Booth. I don't need your protection…"

"What the Hell? Why are you giving me so much grief, Bones?" Booth clenched his fists in frustration, glaring at Brennan. "Yes, of course, whether I wanted it or not, I needed you to leave the country so you'd be out of harm's way! I was trying to protect you! It's not that hard to figure out, is it? I mean, yes, you're my partner...but believe me, Vorstenbach is completely unlike anyone you've ever dealt with. There's no way you could defend yourself against him. I mean, he's kidnapped you once already, right?! He's not gonna give up! He'll try again! You can count on that!" He stood at the foot of her bed, brushing away his tears as a torrent of frustrated words tumbled out. "And besides, I'm in love with you, Bones, alright? I'd do whatever it takes to keep you out of danger, even if it meant sending you as far away from me as I could, because the thought of something happening to you is my worst nightmare...it would literally kill me, okay?! So, yes, I was willing to push you away...to even risk making you hate me forever by lying to you, if that was what it took to get you to leave the country. That's why the FBI had to fake my death. They wanted to take the heat off me, and they thought that if I was 'dead', Vorstenbach would leave you alone as well." Groaning softly, he shook his head. "You know, when Sweets told me that you'd taken a permanent teaching job in Costa Rica, I almost lost it, okay? I mean, at that point, I didn't care if I recovered from my surgery or not, but at least I knew you were safe, and that was all that mattered to me. You're all that matters to me, Bones."

As Booth fought to regain his composure, Brennan thought over his tirade for a few seconds. "So Sweets lied about both of us? Hmm…It seems that I need to have a stern word with him as well." After considering everything her partner had said, she eyed him intently. "You do realize that you just told me you're in love with me, correct? Did you mean that, or are you just irritated because I keep asking pointed questions? Perhaps you're simply experiencing the remnants of another nightmare..."

"What?" Rolling his eyes in exasperation, he threw up his hands. "Of course, I mean it. What kind of question is that? I love you, okay?" Meeting her gaze, he sighed quietly. "I think I've been in love with you for a long time, but that coma dream...well, I guess it brought everything to a head, okay? Whenever I remember what it felt like to be married to the woman I loved so much…it was so wonderful, and that's exactly what I want...with you...someday." Booth exhaled slowly. "I mean, I know what I feel for you is real, but Sweets keeps saying it's just the after effects of my surgery…that I don't really love you and my romantic feelings will fade with time...but I've had these feelings for you long before I had the surgery. I just didn't have the guts to act on them, I guess…"

"Booth...come here." Brennan stretched her hand out to him. "First of all, I would take anything that Sweets says about your recovery with a grain of sand…"

Taking her hand, he did a slight double take before laughing softly. "You mean a grain of salt?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Alright then, I would take Sweets' explanation of your feelings for me with a grain of halite. It appears that he feels no compunction about lying to either one of us, so there's no reason to believe him when he tells you that your romantic feelings for me will eventually fade, correct?"

Booth nodded as he ran his thumb gently across her knuckles. "Well...yeah...I guess that's true."

"Therefore, even though I know that what we call 'love' is merely a rush of chemicals in the brain, it's quite possible that I stimulate that intense chemical rush for you, and you identify that feeling as 'love'." She smiled to herself as she watched him consider her statement.

"Whatever...I'm not sure it's all brain chemicals, Bones…"

Clearing her throat, she continued. "Do you know why I came home early from Costa Rica?" Seeing his bashful shrug, she giggled softly "It's because I found it difficult to concentrate on my required daily tasks, since I was constantly thinking about you. Everything...even digging for artifacts in the dirt...seemed to remind me of you, and I found that I dreamed about you as well, much to my frustration." She hesitated, tilting her head to one side. "One of the guards at the site had his family with him at the camp. His young daughter is very bright. She's hearing impaired, but that doesn't keep her from learning everything she can. She told me that she wants to be an anthropologist, just like me. I enjoyed teaching her about bones, and being with her...helping her learn...and that experience made me realize that I really do have the innate ability to be a parent. I suppose it's part of the biological imperative, but…"

"I keep telling you, Bones...you're gonna be a great mom, okay?" Booth smiled as he rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. "It's gonna happen one day...you're gonna have a child of your own…I promise…"

Brennan seemed to ignore him as she spoke softly. "That's why I'd decided that I would conceive a child when I returned from my trip. My plan was to allow you to help me raise our child, but when Sweets said you had died...I grieved deeply for my loss." Her voice broke into a sob. "I couldn't bring you back, so I decided that having your child would be a fitting memorial for you...a way to retain a part of you in my life...but now even that plan has been destroyed…"

"I know it seems that way right now, and I'm so sorry…" Booth handed her a box of tissues. "But Dr. Morrow thinks you can still have a baby someday…if you want to..."

She shrugged, almost as if she hadn't heard him. "The most unsettling thing about the whole situation was the rush of chemicals your memory had produced in my brain...you know, when I thought about your supposed death. That rush is even more pronounced now that I can see you in person. As it turns out, based on that evidence...it seems that...apparently...I love you as well."

Aggravated at her stubbornness, he scolded her again. "Bones, how many times do I have to tell you? Love isn't just a chemical reaction!" Suddenly, he realized what she'd said and his angry sputter trailed off. "Wait...what?"

"I love you.," she said simply, as if it was the most mundane thing in the world. "I do…"

Booth was speechless as he stared at the woman stretched out on the bed before him. After a few seconds hesitation, he cleared his throat. "So...are we talking about an 'atta boy' kind of love, or like brother and sister…or like French people meeting on the street…."

Shaking her head at his silliness, she smiled at him. "No...I mean in a romantic partnership way. I desire to have a monogamous emotional and sexual relationship with you." When he didn't respond immediately, she suddenly became embarrassed, blushing furiously. "I'm sorry. I must've misunderstood. I thought that's what you were referring to when you said you loved me."

"Oh, Bones…" Booth smiled as he bent down to kiss her. "...that's exactly what I was referring to, okay? Yes...I want to be in a monogamous relationship, or whatever the hell you want to call it...with you. And yes...I love you, and not in an 'atta girl' kind of way. Me and you...we're gonna be a couple...a couple in love...and we're gonna be together for the rest of our lives, if I have any say so about it." He arched an eyebrow at her. "I know you're sad now, about losing this baby and everything, but things are gonna get so much better...I promise..."

"You can't promise that…"

"I sure can." He grinned as he brushed her hair away from her face. "It also means to hell with my sperm donation and that stupid clinic, okay? We're gonna make our baby the old fashioned way...just you and me...together, like people in love do. When you feel better, we're gonna practice 'til we get it right!"

Giggling softly, she caressed his cheek gently. "I'm looking forward to that, but what will Director Cullen say about us being a romantic couple? Will he have a problem with us being together and working together?"

"I don't give a damn." Seeing her surprise, Booth gave her a careless shrug. "Nah, I think we're good. He's a practical man...he knows how well we work together. Our solve rate is high, and that's all he cares about. Besides…" He brushed a strand of hair away from her face. "...he already has a pretty good idea of how much I love you."

Much to Booth's surprise, Brennan's expression changed suddenly. "Oh no...Booth…"

"Bones? What's wrong?," he asked as he clasped her hand. "You're shaking like a leaf. Are you cold? Do you want a blanket? Listen, I mean it...Cullen won't care..."

"No...I'm not cold...and I'm not concerned about Director Cullen." Her eyes were wide with terror as she looked at him. "However...I just had a horrible thought. Vorstenbach must've come after me at the cemetery because he knew you were actually alive…he told me he wanted me to be the 'bait' for his trap..."

Booth nodded, unsure of what she was getting at. "I guess so…"

"But at the time I was kidnapped, everyone was still supposed to think you were dead...except for the people on Sweets' list. Surely you don't think Pops or Rebecca told someone…" She grabbed his arm in panic. "Booth, who else knows you're actually alive?"

He finally realized what Brennan meant. "Jesus! Okay, okay…let me think for a minute." He ran a hand down his face. "Okay...I'll call Rebecca and Pops to make sure they didn't accidentally spill the beans, but if they didn't…"

"Then someone in the FBI...someone you know and have trusted...is in league with the Council and the Persians…" She closed her eyes and lay back in the bed. "Oh my God, Booth…"

Sighing heavily, Booth nodded as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "...and they're still out there, gunning for us. Shit! This is bad, Bones...very bad…"'

His voice dropped to a whisper as the full force of that dreadful revelation struck him. "...and now I don't know who to trust..."