October 2008
Maybe he was feeling vulnerable and avoiding her, or maybe he was pulling away because he was still worried she would up and leave him, but either way things had felt different since their heart-to-heart. He hadn't brought it up, but he also hadn't been around much. She couldn't pinpoint what changed, but it was just a feeling he was keeping her at an arm's length.
She considered talking to Hap about it, but she knew if she brought it up, he'd just roll his eyes and say something like, 'ain't like that; just been busy'. He kept blaming his long hours and general scarcity on club shit. Since he never told her details, she just had to trust him. All she knew is she was spending a lot of nights alone and even when he was there, it was like he wasn't. She and Hap hadn't even figured out if they were going to get a new apartment in Tacoma. She was still planning to go up around Thanksgiving, but the one time she brought it up, he'd deflected and said they'd figure it out when it was closer. All of the unknowns made it hard to commit to grad school. She needed to finalize her academic commitment if she was going to start classes in January but she found herself wanting to defer to next year so she could focus on her and Hap's relationship. Maybe she was just overthinking it. It had happened before.
She'd finally gone for drinks with Tara, but the brunette was private and shrugged off her past other than a few stories of Jax and Opie when they were younger. Unfortunately, she kept dodging questions about Chicago, why she was back, and her current involvement, if any, with the club meaning Sara couldn't get answers to questions she had about life outside the club without coming off like it was the Biker Inquisition. Either way, she'd had a good time.
Otherwise, things in her life had been quiet. Needless to say, she'd been surprised when she'd been summoned to come into the Sheriff's office on a weekday afternoon.
"Sorry for the wait; I'm Agent Stahl." The blonde agent paused but when Sara remained silent, Stahl took a seat across from her and continued, "So, Ms. Harris, I see that you were born into the biker life…" Stahl paused and again stared at Sara expectantly. "Your father and brother are both members of the Sons of Anarchy motorcycle gang."
"Club." Sara corrected smugly. The agent had made her wait nearly two hours before coming into the room, which had given Sara plenty of time to steel her nerves. It wasn't her first questioning, but nonetheless her belly was twisting with uneasiness. What was this all even about? She knew about Cameron Hayes being shot, and that the club was taking him out of country. She also knew Cherry had been snuck out of the jail. What did that have to do with her though?
"…Three different misdemeanor charges brought up against you by your twenty-first birthday including…" Stahl looked down at the page before her, "supervising or aiding prostitutes."
"Do you have any questions for me, or are you just reading me my biography…" Sara drawled indifferently.
"How does an 18-yr old girl from San Bernardino start pimping whores?"
"I ran an escort service, and it was a family business." She corrected with a shrug. "And I was never convicted of any of those charges, because I wasn't doing anything illegal."
"Is that so?" Stahl asked with a scoff. "Did the Sons of Anarchy make you run that brothel?"
"Escort service." Sara corrected again, with a smirk.
"Right, escort service." Stahl chuckled with an eyeroll.
"And no, like I said, it was the family business."
"Most teenagers work at the mall." Stahl countered.
"The Gap didn't pay as good." Sara joked with a bemused smile.
"Have the Sons ever threatened you if you didn't work with them?"
"No." She answered simply.
"What about after your father flipped on the club? Did they threaten you if you tried to do the same?" Stahl pressed, and Sara's face fell for a moment.
"The only person who ever threatened me was my father, so I'm not that torn up that he cut tail and ran."
"Even though he got your fiancé arrested? I'd imagine that would make you pretty mad." Sara remained quiet as Stahl smirked. "How is Mr. Kinsella? Hm?" Sara shifted in her seat. "I don't see a ring on your finger… Guess it wasn't really forever. Is it true that you're currently dating another Son… Happy Lowman? He okay with another brother's sloppy seconds?" Stahl asked rudely. Sara bit her cheek to stop the outburst that threatened to come out. She knew the agent was trying to provoke her. If she was fired up, she'd be more likely to let something slip.
"Tell me, what are the rules about Old Ladies when their men are locked up? Can you just hop on the next biker dick that rides by, or is there some kind of bartering that goes on for you? Like trading commissary money in exchange for fucking you? Are you on loan or is this a serious thing? I mean, girl to girl, I get it; some hot guy with a motorcycle, we all have that fantasy but…come on, a smart girl like you has to know there's no future here for you…" Stahl scoffed carelessly, and Sara did her best to put up an icy façade, but the words hurt. More than she'd ever want to admit.
"Nice try." Sara taunted back with an eye roll.
"If not to buy time with you, what business would Mr. Lowman have for visiting Mr. Kinsella in Chino?"
"Bullshit. They've never met." Sara scoffed. Stahl's grin widened making Sara take pause. With a slender hand, Stahl pulled out a page and slid it across the table before pointing to the line on the photocopied sign-in page where it clearly showed Happy's name. She'd have recognized his handwriting even if it hadn't clearly said his name.
"You might wanna rethink your choices in men…" Stahl offered with a shrug, tucking the page daintily back in the file in her hand.
"How is my personal life any of the FBI's business?" Sara finally deflected snottily when she felt she could trust her voice. Inside, her pulse was racing as she tried to stay focused at the task at hand but couldn't help her mind from wandering. Why the fuck would Happy visit Ryan and not tell her? Stahl had pulled the page back before she'd been able to register the date or any of the details on the page. She briefly wondered if she was allowed to smoke, but the thought went out the window with the agent's next question.
"Have you heard from your father lately?" Stahl sidestepped coolly, and it was Sara's turn to scoff again.
"WitSec doesn't allow outside contact, you should know that." Sara sneered.
"So you haven't spoken to him since…?"
"I haven't spoken to or seen him in over two years." She answered mundanely.
"Of course, my apologies." Stahl responded demurely. "I suppose then, you haven't heard the news…" Sara fidgeted in her seat, brows furrowed in confusion as Stahl just smirked at her, smugly dangling the figurative carrot.
"What'd he do this time?" Sara asked curiously although she managed to keep her façade disinterested.
"You see, apparently… Your father has disappeared from witness protection." Sara froze, her heart dropping into her stomach. "Currently, the Sons of Anarchy are the only suspects in his disappearance… Can you tell me where Happy Lowman was for the past few days?" Stahl pressed. "No? Not with you then?" Sara steeled her features, pressed her lips together tightly, and turned her head away.
"Seems you frequently can't account for his whereabouts. Guess he keeps more than a few secrets." Stahl stated, holding up the closed file to indicate her previous reveal. "My guess is your dad is dead by now; probably brutally tortured before either he bled out or they finally killed him." Stahl stated tediously as if she were talking about bad coffee, but her piercing eyes bored into the little blonde across from her, and Sara hoped to God that she was able to keep her features under control. Maybe she was just being a sneaky bitch; Feds do that. They stir up shit and put things in your head to make you waver. Maybe none of it was true.
"So, you're trying to get me to flip, while also telling me in the same breath you can't keep your witnesses safe?" Sara managed with a snort, although she heard the quiver in her own words. She knew the blonde agent before her probably did as well.
"Did you ask your boyfriend's club to seek out revenge against your father?" Sara couldn't stop the disbelieving laugh that burst from her mouth.
"What? You're out of your goddamn mind with that asinine theory." She had to bite back a comment about how no woman told the Sons what to do, other than maybe Gemma. Stahl looks furious at the young blonde's amused outburst.
"The Sons of Anarchy are a violent group that sells guns to every drug lord and gangster they can get along with long enough to cut a deal. They are not the heroes. They are not Robin Hood keeping this sleepy little town safe. Bloodshed, pain, and death follow them. That is their only legacy." Stahl warned boldly, and Sara forced her eyes to roll in response, but inside she was starting to hyperventilate. The cold fingers of panic wrapped around her spine, chilling her. Stahl was pursuing this way to har to be false information. Had something happened over the weekend? Had her father actually been found and killed? Surely, they would have told her.
Happy would have told her. Wouldn't he?
"I would hate for the crimes of the Sons to spill over and affect you… I know you've been looking into grad school. I would hate for those programs to hear that you've been connected to the death of a protected witness in a federal crime associated with a crime syndicate." The warning in Stahl's tone was clear and it nearly made Sara shiver. How would the FBI even know she was looking into grad schools? Sure, she'd filled out a few applications, but it wasn't like she was shouting it from the rooftops.
"If you don't have any other questions for me, I'd like to leave now." She forced out; her words thick like peanut butter in her mouth.
"But we're just getting started…" Stahl pouted, and Sara fought the urge to claw out her eyes. She'd just blown Sara's life up like it was a fun little game over drinks. Fucking bitch.
"You can't keep me here unless you're charging me with something; I know my rights." Sara stated as she rose, gathering her purse and moving towards the door. Stahl countered and blocked her path.
"I will take them down. And if I find out you are protecting the Sons of Anarchy; you will go down with them." Sara just stared coldly at the older blonde before the agent finally stepped aside.
"Well, let's at least keep in touch, shall we?" Stahl stated with a sickly smile as she held out her card. Sara scoffed and moved past her, knocking the card out of the thin hand when she brushed past. "You know where to find me if you find the courage to do the right thing…" Stahl's words faded as Sara stomped down the hall.
"Oh hey—" Deputy Hale started cheerfully, but she simply held up her hand and stormed past him and out of the station.
With shaking hands, she started her car and pulled out of the parking lot. After a few glances in her rear mirror assured her that no one was following her, she let out a ragged breath. She'd always known it was only a matter of time until the Sons found her father, but Happy had been on the road running Cherry and Cameron up to Canada, so he wouldn't have had time to deal with it. Right? He'd been gone near a week at this point, but he'd told her he was going to stop in Tacoma and check-in before heading back down. It was very possible he'd lied to her. He'd lied to her before. She knew the bitch was shady, but the Feds didn't falsify prison visitation records. Her lip quivered and her eyes welled as she realized that her father was dead. If the Sons found him, he was dead.
Shocked by her own emotional reaction, she wiped her eyes before the tears could fall but felt the burn in her sinuses as she fought sobs. She'd been convinced she hated him as much as the Sons, but suddenly, she was flooded with all the good memories she had of him when she was little.
Of him sitting her on his lap while he rode around the block, her mother in a tizzy that she would fall off the motorcycle that seems gigantic at the time; the loud bellow of his laughter as she shrieked with childhood excitement as the wind whipped through her hair.
Of him trying to explain football to her even as she rolled her eyes and shook her head, begging to go play with her friends. Of him tucking her in night after night after her mom left and kissing her on the forehead as she cried. Of him standing proudly with her out on their front lawn as Jason took shitty pictures of them on as disposable camera before she went to prom – her dad had insisted she go. She ended up ditching and going to Ryan's, but she'd always loved those pictures. She'd never seen him look so proud of her, his eyes shining as he looked down at her in her tight dress and now out-of-date updo.
The barrage of memories bombarded her rapidly, until it was all she could think about. All she could hear was the rush of her own blood in her ears, thumping loudly. Through blurry vision she pulled over to the side of the road and she slammed her car into park before it was fully stopped, probably stripping a few gears in the process. Her hand crashed angrily into the steering wheel repeatedly as she felt tears start to fall.
Why the fuck was she so mad? She'd been mad when he was alive, and now she was mad that he was dead. Mostly she was mad she'd been lied to yet again. Endlessly they'd fought about the face he didn't owe her an explanation or a head's up for club shit, so she couldn't wrap her fucking head around why she didn't see it coming: Happy'd chosen the club over her again. He'd done it so many times before; how many times did it need to happen before she would learn?
She cried for a while; it could have been a few minutes, could have been an hour before the onslaught of tears finally slowed. Her throat burned and her hands throbbed from her assault on the steering wheel.
"Goddammit!" She hissed, wiping her eyes and sniffing. "Get ahold of yourself."
She took a few deep breaths and forced her emotions under control before pulling back onto the road and heading toward the clubhouse. She knew she'd be in deep shit if she didn't tell them about the interrogation and she needed to know if Hap was in trouble.
"That fucking bitch." Juice spat, pulling Sara into a hug as she debriefed the guys. She hardly returned it but didn't pull away. She was exhausted and didn't have the energy to be a bitch.
"It was only a matter of time; they've been going after all the women…" Jax stated with a heavy sigh as he rubbed his chin.
"Thanks for the heads up." Sara grumbled; the guys either didn't hear her or just let her comment slide. "So, is it true?" She asked hesitantly, "Was there a hit on my father?"
The men shared a glance and that's all she needed to know. Her face crumbled a little, but she forced it back under control before any of them seemed to notice.
"We can't tell you anything." Jax stated with an apologetic sigh.
"Of course not. Heaven forbid I know anything about what happens in my own goddamn family." She spat, startled by her own acidity. This time, the men recoiled at the response.
"The less you know, the better." Jax reiterated with a sad half-smile, but firm enough it was clearly intended to be the final word on the topic.
"You guys should have told me. I shouldn't have found out from a goddamn FBI interrogation. Not only is it fucking bullshit, it was risky as fuck." She pressed, refusing to be silenced. "It fuckin' threw me, I'm not gonna lie. I didn't say anything, but she got in my head. Like really got in there with some shit she was saying."
The men all nodded sheepishly, unsure of what to say. She wasn't wrong, but they didn't have any good responses and they surely wouldn't apologize. She wanted to roll her eyes. Fucking club politics bullshit. These stupid fucking men and their stupid fucking rules. Shaking her head, she sighed.
"Look, do I need to know anything or say anything if she pulls me back in again?" She asked exasperated. "You know, toe the company line or anything…"
"Nah, more of the same. Deflect and deny. Besides, Happy kept you in the dark on enough details you're not going to be a priority for the Feds. You did a good job. Just be careful saying anything over the phones; you know the drill." Jax assured, although he looked edgy and tired as he swept a hand through his blonde hair. The long club hours, drama with Wendy, and everything with Abel was starting to show on his face through dark circles and weariness.
"Can I go home now?" She asked as her own exhaustion hit her hard. Her eyes were dry and stung from all of her tears; she was sure they were bloodshot. It had been a long day and the sun was nearly setting outside.
"Yeah; Hap should be back tonight." Jax informed, and Sara bristled a little. She saw Jax and Juice make wary eye contact at her response and she knew they'd noticed her lack of inquiry about him.
"Don't tell him, please. He'll probably get mad and go all postal on Stahl, and I want to talk to him in person about it first. I just… I need that." She stated firmly. The men shared another unsure look but nodded; they owed her this at least and she wasn't wrong about him going postal. She excused herself and despite her protests Juice tailed her home just to be safe. She waved him off as she walked inside, settling into the quiet apartment but still feeling unsettled inside.
Maybe a drink would settle her nerves.
A/N: Pt 2 will be up soon, including the fall-out of Happy yet again keeping Sara in the dark about club business that directly affects her. Review and let me know how you think she should react!