James was wide awake, he had wiped the tear away that fell from his eye and looked at the top of the casket in determination. It had once been fluffy white fabric, now it was torn to shreds, with cotton dangling by strands. There was dried blood staining the white sheet, making it look like an ugly rust color. Through the tears in the fabric there were scratch marks, and looking at James's bloody nails and knuckles, it was easy to see where they came from.

James's nails had been broken down to the quick, and on some nails, even past there. His pants had been worn down at the knees and his shoes were nonexistent. He had kicked, kneed, and scratched at the wood every day to try and get out. Nothing worked, the wood never budged, but that didn't stop James from trying. He was determined to get out. As James laid there, his mind took him back in time.

James Potter walked into Alastor Moody's office to give his transfer papers. It was early morning and no one was in the office yet, but James knew Auror Moody came to work earlier than anyone else.

Alastor was in his usual raggedy grey robe and underneath, James knew he would be wearing a raggedy grey suit. He never wore anything that would make him stand out in a crowd. But it didn't matter what the man wore, wherever he went people took notice of him. He held himself with an air of command that no one could ignore. James had seen people higher up the chain unconsciously wait for his orders and do what he said. And yet the middle-aged man never took advantage of it, never made anyone do something they didn't feel comfortable doing. He was a man James respected and he hoped he could be like him one day.

James knocked in the open door. Alastor was writing in a piece of parchment and without looking up he spoke. "You finally made up your mind, eh?"

"Sir?" James asked. He hadn't told anyone except Lily of what he was wanting to do, not even Sirius knew.

"I saw that look in your eye after you came back from the Magical Abuse Crime Division. I only know a few who have ever had that look and they all had to make a hard decision, their career and reputation or helping those who need it."

James sat down across the desk. "That doesn't sound like a hard decision to make."

"Maybe not to you, boy, but for others… It can be life changing to make that choice." Alastor's blue eyes had a distant gleam in them for a moment before he coughed. "So have you told your young wife? This will be effecting her as well."

James smiled and a small laugh came out, "She was the one who told me to do it."

The supervisor's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "And she knows what comes with the job?"

"Yep, told her before she could make a decision, and she still told me to take it." James sat up straighter in pride. Both him and Lily were on the same page when it came to protecting those who couldn't protect themselves. And even when the majority of the ministry would think it was a waste of time, she would stand right there with him in the line of fire, all to protect someone who needed it.

"Well she has always been a strong woman, that will help. And knowing what she wants to do at school, you two might actually change the world." Alastor meant that. Many people came through those doors had dreams of changing the world for the better, yet very few had the drive to do the work of turning those dreams into reality. But he knew they moment he met them… they were different.

I don't know about me, but I know Lily will. She isn't even a teacher yet, and her and Mcgonagall are already getting together and making plans." He wasn't allowed to know the plans yet. At least not the full extent of them. But he knew it consisted of changes that most purebloods would not like. But she didn't care and Mcgonagall had told him more than once that it was a long time coming.

"You got lucky James, getting a girl like her. I wish you both the best of luck."

With that, Alastor stood up and moved around the desk. "I'm not gonna lie, you going to work for the Magical abuse Crimes is gonna be top news before the day is out. You and everyone there are gonna receive some unwanted attention for some time. But I'm proud of you for what you're doing."

They shook hands, standing eye to eye to each other and James stood a little bit taller with the compliment. "Thank you sir."

"And if you tell anyone I told you that, I will deny it and make sure everyone thinks you're incompetent."

James couldn't be certain, but he thought he saw a glimmer of humor in those blue eyes before it was hidden behind the usual hardness. "My lips are sealed." James said with a smile.

James walked out and gathered his things from his desk. He was half way done when Sirius Black came walking in whistling. He was dressed impeccably in black dress pants, a white shirt, and he had his black coat held over one shoulder. He looked like a model from a muggle magazine, which, James was sure of, was what his best friend was going for.

Sirius sauntered over to his own desk, a few feet away. He was not looking worried that James was packing his desk up. In fact, he looked relieved. James decided not to say anything, he wanted to see what Sirius would do first.

His best friend did his usual inspection of his desk, making sure it was tidy and nothing was out of place, then he walked over and James paused in putting his things away. "You finally put your transfer papers in for MAC?

"What… How did you even…" James was shocked. He had taken great pains to make sure no one knew about his plans until they were already set in motion. But apparently he wasn't any good at it.

Sirius just grinned as he sat down and put his feet up on the desk and tipped the chair back on its back two hind legs.

"I was trying to be silent about it until I had already made the move. Does everyone know about my transfer?"

Sirius laughed, "Why would EVERYONE know? Did you scream about it as you were leaving yesterday?"

"It's feeling that way." James said as he carded his hand through his hair. "I gave Moody my transfer papers and he already knew, said it was the look in my eye that gave it away."

"Well The Moodster has always been a perceptive bastard." Sirius said with a laugh.

James continued to stare at him. "Dude, we're brothers, did you really think you could hide something like this from me?"

Sirius scoffed, "I thought you were smarter than that."

James gave a half smile and shook his head. He should have realized.

"So going over there today?" Sirius placed his hands behind his head, looking as relaxed as could be.

"Yeah I figured I would make the move while most people weren't here. Make the transition as quiet as possible."

Sirius gave bark of laughter, "hate to break it to you brother, but you were the top rookie Auror. Hell you broke records for highest score in tests, was the best at interrogation techniques, AND you had Alastor Moody backing you. This is going to be anything but quiet." A smirk came on his face. "The chaos this will cause, will be hilarious."

"Chaos is my specialty." They both smiled, knowing that it was Sirius who was the true expert at causing chaos.

The smile dropped from his best friends face and the chair dropped down to all four legs. "But are you absolutely 100% sure this is what you want to do? This, this change will make you an outcast. That is something you have never been before."

James opened his mouth to disagree, but Sirius held up his hand. "Remus, Peter, me, even Lily, we are all outcasts in some way, shape, or form. I'm not surprised Lily has no problem with this, she has never cared about status or what people think of her. But James, being friends with outcasts is very different from being one yourself. You need to be fully aware of what you're doing. This won't end after a week. What you're doing, where you're going, it will follow you for the rest of your career, for the rest of your life. You won't be treated with the same respect that you're use to. So again I have to ask, Are. You. Sure about this?"

James didn't say anything. He knew Sirius was right. He had seen what his friends had to go through on a daily basis. He had always defended them, but he had never had to be on the receiving end of the ridicule. Being a Potter had given him certain privileges he had taken advantage of more times than he could count. As he got older he had become more aware of what his status meant and how it made his life, and now Lily's life, easier. Could he live without those advantages, could he allow his future children to not have the same advantages that he had? But could he also look his wife in the eye again if he chose a cozy life over helping the innocent? How could he teach his children to do what was right, if he couldn't do what was right himself?

"This change is going to be hard, harder than I can imagine. And your right I have never been an outcast. But there are little Sirius's out there who need protection from their own family, Little Remus's whose entire worlds have changed over night, Little Peter's who are to scared to stand up and open their mouths to say no, Little Lily's who are condemned just because of who they are. Those children need someone on their side. I have to protect them, I can help them. Being an outcast is something I am willing to undertake if it means I can help one child get out of the hell their in."

Sirius gave a sad smile. He stood up from the chair, "I'm gonna miss you here."

James came back to the present when the pain in his knuckles got too painful. He had been pounding on the wood above him until blood was running down his hand. He wished the memories would stop, he was in an endless prison of torment reliving everything that had happened that landed him in this hell. He wanted to apologize to Lily and Harry, he should have been smarter. He should trusted… it didn't matter now. He made the biggest mistake of his life and it cost him his family. The sadness he was feeling turned into anger and he started pounding harder on the wood. He screamed in anger wishing with everything he had that he could change the past.