A/N: Chapter 10 is up. Thank you so much for all the reviews.
I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or its characters. Please review.
It had been a month since Meredith's clinical trial had started. She hadn't been successful yet, but was keen on learning from each patient. Derek hadn't told her anything negative about her trial, but she was starting to doubt herself. Meredith standing in the balcony in Mark's apartment, overlooking the dock, with a coffee mug in her hand, when her boyfriend's hands snaked on her waist, pulling her towards his chest.
"Hey, what are you thinking about?" Mark asked, kissing her hair gently.
"What if I'm not cut out to be a surgeon?" She asked him.
"What? Where did you get that idea?" Mark asked confused. She was one of the best he had seen, even if his judgement of clouded by their relationship.
"My clinical trial. I'm just not succeeding, Mark. What if I made a blunder thinking I could do this? My mom was right... I'll just be ordinary." Meredith replied, slumping her shoulders.
"Hey... Hey... It has just been one month and four patients. Calm down." He said, rubbing his hands on her shoulders and embracing her tighter.
"What if this clinical trial was a mistake. I'll have made a fool of myself and Derek. As well as proved, everyone right that I only get chances because of you or Derek."
"Listen to me. That is absolute bullshit. You are an amazing surgeon, never forget that. As for the clinical trial, tell me is Dr. Derek Shepherd, one of the finest neurosurgeons in the country?" Meredith nodded. "Then, he wouldn't approve your trial if he didn't see potential. You do not stop until Derek tells you to. Alright?"
"Yeah... I just..." She started saying something but couldn't find the right words.
"What happened?"
"There was a surgical case in the E.R. today, I was assigned to that patient. Chief took lead in the O.R. It was a rare case, so most of the other residents were asked to observe. There were no complications during the procedure, so Dr. Webber asked me to stitch him up, he wanted to teach me the parallel pulley stitch. I was able to do it easily, as you had taught me something similar to it. Well, he appreciated me and told that I was leading in the race for solo surgery."
"Mer, that's excellent! This should have boosted your morale; how did it do the complete opposite?" Mark gave her a big hug from behind and a kiss on her neck.
"After the surgery, we were sitting in the resident's lounge, when Izzie started ranting again." Meredith started. As soon as she took Izzie's name, Mark started rubbing his hands up and down her arms, guessing what was coming.
"Oh god. I feel like killing that woman. What did she say?" He asked concerned.
"That I was at an advantage because I live with a plastic surgeon who can teach me stuff at home, which I use to get ahead in the hospital." She concluded, turning to fully embrace her boyfriend. He soothed her, by lightly kissing her hair and rubbing her back. Meredith loved that Mark was so tall and well built, which made his hugs, bears hugs, completely enveloping Meredith, making her feel safe.
"That is so not true. She cant decide who you live with. Even if she goes upstairs, she has no leg to stand on. You need to block out her comments from your mind." He murmured after sometime. At times, Meredith needed her confidence in herself to be restored. A lifetime of negative comments from her mother along with the recent jealousy from one her best friends, troubled her more than she showed to the world. "Come on, let's eat and then I'll make you forget about everything."
Meredith chuckled and swatted her arm on his chest. "One track mind."
"Only with you, babe. Come on, now let's feed the beast." He replied, moving his hands down her sides.
"Did you just call me a beast? No sex for you." She looked at him pointedly.
"What? You're gonna withhold sex? I've such a supportive boyfriend and that's what I get?"
"You called me beast! So, no sex. Let's eat." Meredith said, walking towards the kitchen and effectively ending the conversation.
Mark was standing in front of the O.R. board, when Derek and Addison joined him. "Hey." Derek greeted.
"Hey." Mark replied, unenthusiasticly.
"How is your day going?" Addison asked.
"Just peachy." Mark replied flatly.
"What's wrong?" Derek asked
"Nothing. Everything is perfect." Mark denied. Now wanting to say stuff he might regret.
"No, it's not. So speak." Addison pressed. She knew him since her med-school days. This wasn't fine.
"Mer is withholding sex." He answered in a low voice.
"Oo, What did you do?" Derek grimaced. Meredith didn't usually do that. He must have pissed her off.
"How do you know I did something?" He asked, pretending to be offended.
"Because..." Derek started only to be interrupted by his wife.
"I do not want to hear that answer. But, Mark you did do something, so..." Addison that zero interest in knowing about her husband's knowledge of the resident's sexual behaviour. Even though they had moved on and forgiven each other, some things are better left unsaid.
"I might have called her a beast." He replied.
"You called Meredith beast?" Derek asked, having a hard time controlling his laughter.
"Seriously, Mark!" Addison admonished. "No wonder she is doing that. Who calls their girlfriend a beast?"
"I know... I know... I'll make up with her, hopefully." Mark said, rubbing his face. "By the way, how is her trial going. Medically speaking." He asked Derek.
"She is making progress, learning from her mistakes. It's going as expected. Why?" Derek replied, not needing to sugar-coat anything for his friend.
"She was having a mini- breakdown yesterday, over her capabilities as a surgeon." Mark explained.
"What? Why? She is at the top of her class" Addison asked, not understanding.
"Izzie Stevens." Mark replied flatly, answer enough for the two other attendings to get what he was talking about. He then told the two of them about his and Meredith's conversation last night.
"She has nothing to worry about. Everyone in my department prfers working with her, even over third or fourth year residents." Derek told Mark.
"Tell her that, will you? I can encourage her as her boyfriend, you're her attending.. so..." Mark requested. She was working directly with Derek for quite sometime, words of support from him would therefore do more good than from Mark.
"Of course. I am to meet her in..." Derek glanced towards in watch, "Now. I'll be on my way."
"Hey, how is it going?" Derek asked Meredith as he entered the lab and sat beside her.
"Fine, I guess... I think that the virus would be better if we inserted it from two sides, at the same time." She said, starting the video demonstration of her plan.
"Okay, then. Do you want another resident with you?" He asked after the video ended. He agreed with her thought process, and that she was medically correct.
"Will you do it... I don't want to involve other people." Meredith said nervously. She thought none of her friends would want to get involved with her trial as they thought it was going to fail.
"Of course." Derek replied. He then recalled what Mark had told him regarding her confidence. "Meredith, the trial is going as it should. No one achieves success with these so early. Give it time."
"Are you sure? I mean, are you confident that this has potential." She asked.
"I wouldn't approve it if it didn't." He gently told her. "People are jealous, let them be. Concentrate on your abilities, your strengths. Everything else is gibberish."
"I'll try." She told him truthfully. She understood where Mark, Derek and Addison were coming from and knew that they were right, but she still couldn't completely shake the feeling of under confidence from within her. "Let's go meet the next patient."
"Dr. Yang, Dr. Sloan has requested you on his service today." Bailey told the second year resident as she entered the lounge.
"Plastics? No! Bailey, please." Cristina pleaded.
"Do I look like I'm interested in hearing your pleas? Karev, Montgomery; Stevens, Ortho; O'Malley, Cardio."
"Again OB?" Alex groaned.
"Can I exchange with Alex?" Izzie asked her superior.
"Did you not hear me. I do not make changes to the schedule according to your wishes." Bailey retorted.
"But I'm not getting Plastics, or Gynae or Neuro, or Cardio. I don't get anything worthwhile." Izzie whined.
"You should have thought about that before you went about to jeopardise your fellow resident's reputation and career." Bailey replied, almost disgusted. She was livid when she was told about Stevens' behaviour and wanted the Chief to immediately suspend her form the program. After much discussion with Addison and Derek, did she only relent.
"I was banned from neuro. They can't not teach me Plastics and OB. And what problem does Burke have with me?" Izzie arrogantly half-shouted.
"No problem that I'm aware of. He just doesn't want you, like most other attendings. You are free to go to the Chief." Bailey replied, ending the conversation.
"Honestly Izzie, you think Mark would have you on his service?" Cristina asked shocked by Izzie's expectations.
"She can't do that, mess with my career. I-"
"You did that." Alex interrupted her. "Meredith didn't do anything to you. You did that to yourself. I'd rather be with Montgomery-Shepherd than listen to your whines." Saying that, Alex left for his attending, Cristina following behind.
"This is not Mer's fault. Don't blame her. If anything, you should apologise to her for what you did last month." George calmly told his friend, to which Izzie snorted. After that, he too left the room.
Cristina walked to the Plastics wing of the hospital, and asked one of the nurses there to point her towards Dr. Sloan. The nurse directed her towards one of the pre-op rooms on the floor.
"Donna, this is Dr. Yang. She is one of the top residents in her year. She will prep you for the surgery."
"Mark, she the one?" Donna asked, looking sceptically at Cristina.
"No. Meredith is busy. She has a clinical trial going on." Mark explained.
"Oh, that's great." Eliza gushed.
"Yang, prep Donna for a Sexual Reconstruction Surgery."
"We're doing a SRS?" The resident asked astonished and excited.
"Yes. Plastics isn't such a waste of time now, is it?" Mark smirked. He always teased Cristina by asking her to be on his service, but she never paid any attention to him and waved him off.
"Of course, not, Dr. Sloan. I'm thankful for the opportunity." She replied obediently.
"Big day, Donna." He told glancing at his patient and her wife. Saying this both the doctors left. "Yang, Donna has come all the way from New York to have me to od the surgery. Let's not disappoint, alright?"
"Of course, and thanks for the opportunity."
"Cristina..." Mark started.
"You did have a hidden reason behind me being on your service today, didn't you?"
"Yes. I need to talk. And this case is very good for your experience as well. So, we both win."
"Okay, what do you want?" Cristina relented.
"Meredith, are you being hostile towards her as well... I mean any discomfort in your friendship?" Mark searched for words to properly ask the question.
"What? No!. That's just Izzie." Cristina wanted to be offended as such a question form Mark.
"So, you don't support Stevens in her vendetta against my girlfriend?" He asked, point-blank.
"Of course not. Mark, Meredith is my person. Unless she purposely sabotages my career, like what Izzie did to her, I will not be against her. Alex, George, me, we're all on Mer's side." Cristina explained. Hearing this, Mark let out a big sign, truly relieved.
"Talk to her, will you? She thinks you all hate her."
"Don't worry. I'll knock some sense into your girlfriend. Now, what do you need me to study for the surgery."
"Here, go over her file. I performed a couple of surgeries back in New York as well on her. Read about them, then research about the possible complications and their prognosis." He told her, handing her the chart.
At the end of the day, Cristina, Alex and George found their best friend sitting on a gurney in the basement. Cristina had informed them about her conversation with Sloan and they knew they had to talk to her and clear any misconceptions between them.
"Hey." She greeted.
"Hey. How was your day." Cristina asked asked, jumping on, beside her.
"Not great. I lost my patient, again. I did get to know what exactly went wrong, though. What about you?"
"Good. Did an SRS with Sloan."
"Mer, you found out the problem in your virus, that's good right, you can work on it now?" George asked.
"I guess." Meredith shrugged.
"What, 'I guess.' You will work on it." Alex encouraged.
"And succeed." Cristina added.
"You all want that?" Meredith asked confused.
"For you to succeed? Of course we do." Cristina scoffed. Actually hearing Meredith be so underwhelmed made Cristina realise how right Sloan was and how serious the issue had become.
"Izzie is wrong, Mer. Ignore her." Alex told her. Alex was appalled at his girlfriend when he found out about what she did to Meredith. They got into a huge arguement which ultimately led Alex to break up with Izzie.
"You guys support me?" Meredith re-confirmed.
"Yes, Meredith." George said, with a tone of finality.
"So, stop presuming stuff and sulking now. Go home to that McSteamy of yours and then come back tomorrow and kick ass." Cristina ordered her best friend.
"We're counting on it!" Alex shouted down the lane as Meredith walked home.
"You talked to a lot of people for me today." Meredith said, as she entered their living room and saw Mark sprawled out on the couch.
"I guess I did." He replied, looking up form his game.
"Thank you." Meredith said, sitting beside him and resting her head on his shoulder. "What's for dinner?"
"I ordered some Italian. You want something else?" He asked her.
"No Italian sounds good. I'll open a bottle of wine?"
"Of course." He smiled and kissed her.
"What's for dessert?" Meredith asked, in the mood for something sweet.
"Well, I did order a tiramisu, but if you want the other kind of dessert, even that can be arranged." He told, pulling her on top of him so she was straddling him.
"Mark! Not now, maybe after dinner, if you're good." She said, coming off his lap and back to her original seat.
"Ugh! I'm always good." He said, kissing her lightly.
Maybe everyone was right, she didn't have to worry about any kind of negativity. She was grateful for what she had. A perfect boyfriend, amazing friends and one of the best mentors someone could ask for. What else did she need?