Chapter 7:
Back porch of John's rental house in Martha's Vineyard, late afternoon.
Margo is curled up under a blanket, sitting on the porch swing and reading. The back porch faces the beach and the Atlantic Ocean. It has become a favorite place of Margo's to come and read one of the detective novels she bought while there or just to come and watch the waves splash up onto shore. She found something about sitting out there to be very peaceful and relaxing.
Margo has been up in Martha's Vineyard for the past week. She took John up on his invitation to get out of Oakdale for a while, basically to get away from everything that had been going on—work, being alone at home, away from Tom and Casey, Doc's trial, Chris and Alison's wedding.
John walks up to the doorway and gazes at his daughter, sitting there all curled up under the blanket.
"Hey, are you feeling any better? What did Alan say?" John asks walking over the porch swing.
"He thinks it's still the morning sickness that's making me nauseous. He reminded me that every pregnancy is different. Alan did a checkup while I was there and he said that everything looked good as far as the baby was concerned." Margo replies.
"Since you've been up here, you have started to get some of your color back. You're not looking as pale as you were when you first got here. The only thing is that I'm going to be very concerned about you when you go back to Oakdale." John says.
"Ah, John," Margo sighs, "I wish I could stay up here forever. I'm really dreading going back to Oakdale. It's so peaceful up here. I've actually been able to relax while I've been here."
"What about Tom and Casey?" John asks.
"I don't know. Tom and Casey pretty much haven't had anything to do with me since they moved out. Casey told me that he pretty much wants nothing to do with me and I overheard Tom tell Jessica that just the thought of him being in the same room with me makes him sick." Margo replies and turns her head so that she can look out at the ocean.
"Does Tom or Casey know about the baby?" John asks.
"No. They don't. They both moved out before I even got the chance to tell them. Besides, after what I went through with Tom the last time I was pregnant before this—when Tom accused me of the baby I was carrying at that time being Eddie's and I lost the baby the night Tom was sleeping with Emily. I don't think I could deal with Tom accusing me that this baby is Doc's and going through that all over again. Besides, after what happened with Tom, I don't think he's going to want anything to do with this baby—or me." Margo replies.
"What really happened the night that Tom confronted you about what happened with Doc?" John asks.
"Tom told me that Jill had told him that she caught Doc and me in the locker room at the Oakdale Country Club, making out. I told him that wasn't the truth and that Doc had tried forcing himself on me after I kissed him and told him that I couldn't go on with this anymore. I never got the chance to show him the bruise on my arm that I got from Doc grabbing me and slamming me up against the wall. I tried telling Tom what really happened, but he said something to the effect that he's had it and that he's done with me. After that, he stormed out and never came back. He came the next day while I was at work and packed some clothes." Margo stoically tells John. "He even went so far as to have me served with separation papers."
"Margo, I am so sorry." John tells her as he puts his arms around his daughter.
"You want to know the rough part about this, for two weeks after this whole thing with Doc happened and then Tom moving out—it's brought everything back from the rape, and then my last miscarriage. The hardest part is that I had to deal with it—alone." Margo says, trying not to break down. "Everything I have had to deal with that's been really painful—the rape, the miscarriage, Tom's night with Emily, everything that I thought I have dealt with and thought was behind me—the memories, the pain, the hurt, it's all been coming back."
"I wish there was something I can do to take away all this pain." John says. "Have you thought about staying up here after I go back to Boston to teach in a week?"
"I would love to, but I don't think I would be able to. I have an appointment scheduled with Dr. Martinez for tests right after I am supposed to go back. I wish I could stay up here until after the baby is born." Margo says.
"Dr. Martinez? What happened to Dr. Bartlett?" John asks. "I thought you were still seeing Dr. Bartlett for follow up to your liver transplant."
"I was. I switched doctors after Dr. Bartlett told me he wants me to terminate the pregnancy. I talked about it with Bob and Dr. Samuels and she put me in touch with Dr. Martinez." Margo says. "Dr. Samuels said that terminating the pregnancy was going to the extreme and Dr. Martinez said that I could continue with the pregnancy and I would just have to be monitored closely to ensure I have a healthy baby. My meds would have to be adjusted as the pregnancy progresses and to make sure that the risk is minimal to the baby."
"That's good that you found a doctor that's understanding and is going to do everything to make sure that this baby is healthy. Have you thought about going to talk to somebody about the pain with this whole thing with Tom and all that has been drudging up for you?" John asks.
"I did speak with Bailey at the Rape Crisis center when I was dealing with the nightmares. She's a new volunteer there. She was great when I needed someone to talk to about the nightmares. Talking with her helped that. As far as the memories and the pain of the last miscarriage and Tom accusing me of that baby being Eddie Silva's—I don't know if there's anybody out there who would understand what I went through with that. You'd think that after having dealt with the rape and the aftermath with the HIV tests and the trial, that Tom would believe me when I told him that Doc Reese tried forcing himself on me. That's what has hurt the most during this whole thing is that Tom didn't believe me then. I know that there's no way to get him to believe me now. Whatever that waitress, Jill, told him really got to him because he believed what she told him over me—his own wife. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if Tom and I can get past this to be honest with you." Margo says.
"Have you even talked to Tom at all? John asks.
"No, I haven't. I went to go drop a case file off at Tom's office and I was hoping at least to tell Tom about the baby. But that didn't happen. I didn't get the chance." Margo says.
"What stopped you?" John asks.
"When I got to Tom's office, he was in there talking to Jessica. I heard Tom tell Jessica that the thought of him being in the same room with me makes him sick. I left after I heard that. I didn't even leave the file that he wanted. I decided at that point that I was better off on going through this pregnancy by myself and not deal with the possibility of Tom accusing me of the baby being Doc's." Margo replies, looking away from John and at the ocean.
"Do you honestly think he meant that? He could have said that out of anger." John implies.
"No, John, I think he honestly meant that. I have never heard him be so angry and I do believe he meant that when he said it. I haven't even bothered trying to talk to him ever since. To make matters even worse, Casey's even told me he doesn't want anything to do with me either and he also moved out. He's staying with Tom—wherever he's staying at. I haven't talked to either one of them." Margo replies. "I don't think either one of them really plan on having anything to do with me ever again."
"Margo, you aren't one to give up. You and Tom managed to reconcile after what happened with Emily. If I would know you better, you two would find some way to get through this, too. Not just for your sake, or Tom or Casey's sake, but also for this unborn baby. Promise me that you aren't just going to walk away from your marriage because of this. This is unlike you to think about giving up like this." John says.
"If I wasn't pregnant, I would definitely fight for my marriage right now. But I am pregnant, and I have to be careful of stressful situations right now. I have this baby to worry about. I am hoping that Tom and I can get through this, but I can't do it know. I can't deal with the stress of that now. After the baby's born, hopefully I will get my chance to fight for my marriage." Margo says. "We've been through so much together and—I don't know, John. I thought my marriage was over after Tom was with Emily and had a child with her. We worked our way back to each other. Now after this, I don't know if he's going to want to—or if we even can."
"What are you saying?" John asks.
"If, and when, Tom finds out about the baby, I don't want this baby to be the sole reason we get back together. Besides, I signed the separation papers and sent them back to Tom—along with my wedding ring." Margo says.
"Why did you do that?" John asks.
"John, I did it because right now I don't know if my marriage can be saved. What I'm hoping for is to buy some time until after the baby's born so I don't have to deal with the stress of fighting with Tom over this. Maybe, it will give Tom enough time to think about this and figure out if this is what he truly wants. I figured he might want them signed. In the note with my wedding ring, I told him that I couldn't hold onto the ring because I feel like I now know I mean nothing to him and that it serves as a painful reminder that he now wants nothing to do with me. Maybe as time goes on, there might be the possibility where Tom and I can talk about this—but right now, I just don't know." Margo replies. "Besides, I didn't tell you that he called shortly after I got off the phone with you."
"What? What did he have to say?" John asks.
"I let the answering machine pick it up. I didn't feel like answering the phone when I saw it was him calling. He said that he was calling to see if I was alright and that he needed to know if I was alright. He saw me darting off to the ladies' room at the station when I was leaving with Hal." Margo tells him.
"Did you talk to him at all?" John asks, curiously.
"No, I didn't. Hal was over because he brought me home from the station. I shrugged it off as a pretense about the separation papers. I didn't even call him back." Margo replies. "I didn't want to bother him with it, besides—like it's really going to matter to him anyway."
"You never know…he might actually be concerned." John says.
"I don't want to sound callous, but I really don't want to think about that right now. I want to concentrate on enjoying the time I have up here and spending time with you before you go back to Boston and I go back to Oakdale. Is that okay?" Margo asks.
"Yes, it is definitely okay." John replies as he gives Margo a hug. "You know as your father, I am going to worry about you."
"I know." Margo says as she returns John's hug. "Isn't that a parent's job?"
"Yes, it is, even if my children are adults—you're my daughter and I am going to worry about you and your brothers." John says. "Why don't we go for a walk and figure out what we want to do about dinner tonight?"
"Sounds good to me. Let me go change out of my pajamas, since I've been in them most of the day." Margo says as she gets up from the swing and heads over towards the door to go inside.
Oakdale Police Station—Hal's Office, mid-evening.
Hal and Tyler are sitting there in Hal's office watching the surveillance tape that Jill handed Tom in court earlier.
"From that angle, you can definitely see that Doc grabbed Margo forcibly and then slams her into the wall." Tyler observes.
"And you can tell he slammed her up against the wall quite hard." Hal states.
"So, what did I miss and what's this about?" Tom asks as he walks into Hal's office and towards where Hal and Tyler are watching the TV.
"From looking at the tape, it's evident that Doc was trying to get his way with Margo. There could be enough here to recommend assault charges to be filed against Doc for doing this to Margo." Hal states. "You should take a look at this and tell me what you think."
"How far do you want me to rewind this?" Tyler asks.
"Why don't you go back to—there, where Margo looks like she's trying to push him away." Tom replies.
As Tom watches what transpires on the tape, his feelings of guilt come back—guilty about how he treated Margo that night he confronted her about this and that he didn't give her the benefit of the doubt or even question her about this.
"You can stop it, Tyler, I've watched enough." Tom says as he walks away from Hal's desk, running his fingers through his hair.
"Tom, are you alright?" Hal asks.
"Tyler, can you excuse us for a couple of minutes so I can talk to Hal in private?" Tom asks.
"Yeah, sure. I was hoping for a break to go get some coffee. You two want anything?" Tyler asks.
"No thanks. I just came from my dad's and had dinner there." Tom replies.
"I'm fine. Thanks." Hal says as Tyler walks out of Hal's office and shuts the door behind him.
"What's going on here, Tom? Are you alright?" Hal asks.
"No, I'm not. I find out today when I had Jill Anders on the stand that Doc tried forcing himself on Margo, that Margo was telling the truth about this the whole entire time. Jill stated that she came up with the lie she told me about seeing Doc and Margo at Doc's urging. Jill hands me the tape—which is obviously the proof that Margo wasn't lying—which she stole that night. So, basically, I left my wife because someone had to lie about this whole thing. On top of that, Jill tells me that Margo's pregnant and couldn't tell me about it—along with my dad telling me that her doctor wanted her to terminate the pregnancy because of her liver transplant and HCV status." Tom angrily states.
"You found out about all this from Jill?" Hal asks.
"Everything except Dr. Bartlett telling Margo to terminate the pregnancy. I found that out from my dad. I called Jill to testify against Doc Reese today. She told me that Doc tried forcing himself on Margo about a week before he attacked Cami Gaborik." Tom states.
"Jill knew about the tape? I'd like to know why she didn't say anything about it when Margo was interrogating her for the stolen property and the thefts from the Oakdale Country Club." Hal states.
"She handed it to me when she was on the witness stand in court. She stated that she lied to me about Margo and Doc because he suggested that she lie to me about what she saw so that he would have a better chance with my wife. She also said that Doc threatened her if she went and reported what she saw." Tom states.
"Now, you've seen the proof that Margo wasn't lying to you about what happened." Hal says.
"I should have questioned what Jill told me when I saw the bruise on Margo's arm—looking like she had been forcibly grabbed, similar to the bruises she had from when she was raped—but no, I didn't question her. I got really angry with her and left the house." Tom states.
"Unfortunately, I have to change the subject here. There's enough to look at assault charges on Doc. The only thing is that I don't know how Margo's going to feel about that and about possibly dealing with having to testify. I know for a fact that she's been deliberately ignoring what was going on with Doc's rape case and that she wasn't aware that the start of the trial had been moved up." Hal says. "Plus, she doesn't need to deal with the stress of that at all right now."
"Believe me, I already know about this. I have already had that talk with my dad earlier about this." Tom states.
"The other thing is that if I can find out when exactly she found out about the pregnancy, I might be able to mention it in the report to your office." Hal says.
"That shouldn't be hard. My dad told me that she had seen Dr. Samuels." Tom replies.
"So, do you want me to go ahead with the report to file the assault charges against Doc for what he did to Margo?" Hal asks.
"That's your call to make. I am going to have to recuse myself from this because I'm married, or should say was married, to Margo." Tom states then turns away from Hal.
"What are you implying by 'was married' there, Tom?" Hal asks.
"You remember what you told me about what Margo said about my calling her at the house was just a pretense to bug her about the separation papers?" Tom asks.
"Yeah, that was her opinion." Hal says.
"Well, she signed them Hal. They were delivered to my office today while I was in court for Doc's trial. Not only did she sign and send the papers back, she also included her wedding ring and a note that said that I believe my marriage is over and there's no chance in saving it. She's out there, I don't know where—alone and pregnant, and convinced that our marriage is over." Tom states.
"Listen, I have talked with her about this. Tom, she's hurting—really bad. It's not just about you not believing her and walking out; she's hurt that Casey told her he doesn't want anything to do with her. Margo told me herself about the pregnancy before she left. I told her that you have a right to know about the baby, but she told me that she couldn't deal with you accusing her of the baby being Doc's. This whole thing is bringing up some pretty bad memories to the surface for her—the last miscarriage. I wouldn't be surprised if the pain and the memories from the rape came back to haunt her, too. I just hope that she doesn't have another episode of PTSD. She told me that she made the decision to deal with this pregnancy alone, knowing that you're the father." Hal says.
"Hal, I know she's hurting. It's my fault. I didn't believe what she was telling me what happened that night. I believed a waitress over my own wife and I walked out on her. Now, I have a child on the way that I don't think she had any intention on being able to tell me about. She's alone, she's dealing with a high-risk pregnancy, and she's convinced that I don't believe our marriage is worth saving. I need to see her and try to talk with her about this. The only thing is that I don't know where she is—if she's even in Oakdale right now." Tom says.
"First of all, I will tell you that Margo is out of town. She promised me not to tell you where she went. I encouraged her to go, get away from things for a while, and take it easy. She desperately needs that right now considering all that she's had to deal with." Hal states.
"Hal, come on. I know that you know more than you're letting on. I would just like to know where she is." Tom states.
"I told you that she promised me not to tell you. I am going to keep my word to her on that. Besides, I don't think it would be a good idea for you to try to track her down if I were able to tell you. She doesn't need to deal with this. You know that she must keep the stress level down because this pregnancy is high risk. She needs the time right now to get away from all that stress she has had to face here in Oakdale. Do me a favor; just give her this time away for right now. Hopefully, you can try to convince her to talk after she gets back into town." Hal states.
"How long is she going to be gone for—for the rest of her pregnancy?" Tom asks.
"All I know is that she did find out that the start of Doc's trial got pushed up and that she didn't want to be around for Chris and Alison's wedding. She left the day before the start of the trial. I think she's going to be back sometime after the wedding. Tom, you look exhausted. Why don't you call it a day and go home? I'm sure you're probably going to want to talk to Casey about this. I'll talk to Tyler about the possible assault charges against Doc for what he did to Margo." Hal states.
"Fine, I'll go home—or back to the Lakeview." Tom says as he grabs his briefcase.
"Tom, I hate the fact that you had to find out about the pregnancy this way. Margo told me that she really wanted to be the one to tell you about the baby, considering that she told me that you two wanted to have another child after Casey for the longest time. But with everything that has happened, she couldn't bring herself to tell you." Hal says.
"Thanks." Tom says as he turns to walk out of Hal's office.
Walking out of the Oakdale Police station, the feelings of hurt and guilt begin to resurface stronger for Tom. He can't get over what he did to Margo—the love of his life. He gets into his car and sits there for a minute after starting it, still beating himself up over what he had done to Margo. Tom turns up the radio and hears the beginning strains of Richard Marx's "Until I Find You Again,"
Lately I've been trying
To fill up my days since you're gone.
The speed of love is blinding,
And I didn't know how to hold on.
My mind won't clear.
I'm out of tears.
My heart's go no room left inside.
How many dreams will end?
How long can I pretend?
How many times will love pass me by,
Until I find you again?
Will the arms of hope surround me?
Will time be a fairweather friend?
Should I call out to angels,
Or just drink myself sober again?
I can't hide, it's true.
I still burn for you.
Your memory just won't let me go.
How many dreams will end?
How long can I pretend?
How many times will love pass me by,
Until I find you again?
I'd hold you tighter,
Closer than ever before,
Yeah.
No flame would burn brighter,
If I could touch you once more,
Hold you once more.
[Guitar interlude]
How many dreams will end?
How long can I pretend?
How many times will love pass me by,
Till I find you again?
Till I find you again…... (Richard Marx, Greatest Hits, 1997, written by Richard Marx)
As the song ends, Tom leans his head back in the headrest of the car seat.
"I will find you again, Margo" he says to himself then grabs his cell phone out of his pocket and dials his dad's house.
"Hello?" Bob says when he answers.
"Hi Dad, I'm done here at the station. How's Casey doing?" Tom asks.
"He's asleep upstairs. He went to go lay down after you left. He didn't want to talk much after you left." Bob replies.
"How's Daniel?" Tom asks.
"Emily came and picked him up. She asked me to tell you that if it's easier for you, she can drop him off here tomorrow around 6 for your weekend with him." Bob says.
"That would be great, if you don't mind. He doesn't like the Lakeview much these days." Tom says.
"That's not a problem, son. Do you want me to go wake up Casey?" Bob asks.
"No, don't. Just let him sleep." Tom replies. "I'm going to head back to the Lakeview and try to get some work done for the trial tomorrow."
"How are you doing?" Bob asks.
"I don't know right now, Dad. I guess I am still somewhat in a state of shock over what happened today. I do need to talk to Margo, but I found out she's out of town for the time being and Hal made her a promise not to tell me. He doesn't know when she's going to be back." Tom says.
"Maybe a break from everything is what Margo needs right now. Remember, eventually, you will get your chance to talk to her about this. Just give her some space and time right now. Margo's probably not even aware of what's transpired today and that's going to be quite a shock for her when she finds out." Bob implies. "Why don't you go back the Lakeview and try to take it easy yourself for a while—don't get to stressed out about this either."
"I will try, Dad. Good night." Tom says as he hangs up the phone then heads back over to the Lakeview—alone.