A/N: Thanks for the reviews, everyone! You all really motivate me to keep this story going and finish it off where I originally imagined it ending. Thanks for all of your questions and comments—it makes it really fun for me to see where others take my ideas. It seems that I put too much detail or something in just one chapter, because I almost always have to split it into two chapters—ugh! Thanks, and enjoy!
Chapter 59
Forgiven
Alex took a cab to the midtown restaurant she and Olivia had agreed to meet at. Today had been odd: she wasn't sure whether to look back on it with dread, or positivity. True enough, the encounter with Olivia in the bathroom was definitely unexpected and she smiled as she recalled the meeting. But, she couldn't forget the day's events in court: what did Trevor mean? And furthermore, what did Miranda think she was doing entertaining those accusations about Olivia from Conrad? She shook these thoughts from her mind—she had enough to think about before she met Olivia.
She was ready. She wanted, and needed to make things right with Olivia. She thought about the situation with Hope, and even though Alex didn't like it, she saw a few bright points that she thought were worth considering: for one thing, nothing had actually happened. Olivia was smart enough to tell Hope to stop, and Alex had to give her credit for that. And, Olivia had told Alex about it upfront—what more did she want? Sure, it would have been nice if Olivia would have ignored Hope, or just flat out told her to stop, but Alex wasn't going to hold it against her. She had forgiven her and knew, deep down, that the detective loved her.
Alex had gotten back to the apartment and knew she had to go all out. Olivia would say it wasn't fair, how Alex was dressed, but the attorney wanted to look as good as possible for Olivia—they both had been through a lot in the past week, especially Olivia. And, since Alex thought she knew how this meeting was going to go, she thought she'd make it as hard as she could for Olivia to resist her. It wasn't often that she was purposefully this scheming, but she was tonight: she just hoped that her 'grand plan' would pay off.
It was 8:12 when Olivia glanced at her watch—Alex usually wasn't late. She opened the message on her phone to confirm that they agreed on 8pm. As soon as she put her phone down, though, she looked up and her mouth ran dry. It was Alex, but she had never seen her look so sexy. Olivia watched the attorney in slow motion: she located Olivia and began to walk down the hallway toward the table Olivia was seated at.
Alex flipped her perfectly wavy blonde curls over her shoulder as she removed her purse from her arm. Her toned runners legs were painted over with black leather pants and her breasts were accented by the green, ¾ sleeve scoop neck shirt that clung to her every curve, as if it were made for only her body. She began to say something as she set her purse in the chair next to her, but all Olivia could focus on was her hips leaning over to hook her purse on the chair. When she sat down, Olivia's attention turned to her bright lipstick and her darker than usual eyeliner. She was a vision: her glasses rested just below the bridge of her nose, and she quickly readjusted them, looking towards Olivia. Slowly, the setting came back into focus for the detective. The radiant glow that engulfed the attorney quickly spread out, revealing many other people, including the waiter standing at the end of their table, looking down at Olivia, awaiting an answer to a question that she hadn't heard.
She turned her head, but didn't take her eyes off Alex. "I'm sorry, wha…" her voice faltered, but she heard the waiter respond with something about drinks. "Water." She responded quickly as Alex met her eyes with a small smirk.
"Thirsty?" She raised her eyebrows and smiled across the table. She knew she looked good. Olivia cleared her throat, and blinked the arousal and shock out of her expression in order to reply.
"You know," Olivia pointed to Alex, wagging her finger toward the blonde's ensemble, "that is NOT fair." Alex smiled and blushed as she tucked her head down, avoiding Olivia's gaze. "You um," the detective paused, with a huff of a laugh, "you look great, Alex."
"Thanks. You look good too." Alex wasn't lying—Olivia wore a pair of torn jeans, and a men's grey and blue color block sweater. Her usual brown leather belt was secured around her waist where her shield and gun rested. Alex hadn't had enough time to really admire her short hair, and as she did so, she noticed how sexy it was. Olivia wasn't wearing any makeup: she was truly was the definition of natural beauty, her flawless skin glowing in the dim light of the restaurant. The waiter returned to take their orders and both women hurriedly picked something from the open menu in between them, not really caring what they chose.
As he left, Olivia piped up. "So, I saw George today and I think there are a few things that I think I should tell you." She reached across the table for Alex's hand. Alex shuddered when she felt her hand rest in Olivia's, and she knew that everything was right in the world, even if only for that moment. They smiled at each other for an instant before Olivia continued speaking. "I know I've said this before, but I want to say it again. I'm so sorry, Alex, for my part in all of this. I never wanted to hurt you, and I know I did after how I acted about the press conference. I was hurting, and upset, and I didn't really consider the fact that you were in a tough place and it probably hurt you to answer like that about our relationship, too." Alex admired Olivia—the vulnerability and exposure the detective displayed was admirable. "I'm sorry about Hope, too, Al. Looking back, I don't know what I was wanting to accomplish. I should have known that I couldn't gain anything I didn't already have, because with you, I have everything."
"Liv," Alex sighed. Her heart melted, and she could feel the familiar warm wave surge through her body that she hadn't felt in a few days. She squeezed Olivia's hand as tears filled her eyes. Olivia brought her casted hand to the table and held Alex's single snow-white hand between her two worn ones.
"I'm so sorry for everything that has happened. I love you, Alexandra. I always have. And I'll do anything to make this right again." She took a breath and held up her hand towards Alex, as she noticed the attorney starting to speak. "Sorry, I just want to finish this thought." Alex nodded, and waited for Olivia to continue. "When I saw George today, we were talking about forgiveness and I was saying that I think the press conference was so hard for me because I couldn't forget it. And, he told me that it didn't matter if it was forgotten or not, but it was forgiveness that was important. And, I never really looked at it that way before. I think I was trying so hard to forget it happened that I couldn't focus on forgiving you. And, really, forgiving myself for how I acted afterwards. The same thing with my actions at Fin's the other ni—."
Alex stopped her this time, squeezing her hand. "Olivia, I told you—you don't have any reason to apologize to me about that."
"No, Alex. I do. I shouldn't have touched you like that—I wouldn't want anyone else—."
"I wouldn't want anyone else to touch me like that either, Olivia. But that's why it's different. Because it was you. Honestly it was…" Alex paused and Olivia waited with bated breath. Alex blushed a deep shade of red and turned her head toward the wall, away from Olivia. "Pretty sexy." Olivia cocked her eyebrow as a suppressed smile spread across her face.
A minute later the waiter returned with their dinners. Alex's remark hung in the air between them as they stared at each other, the food passing through their peripheral vision. The waiter asked a question that neither of them heard, but Olivia nodded and gruffly answered, "no," not really knowing what he had said. He walked away with a somewhat confused look on his face, before Alex began talking.
"We can pick up that conversation later." She took Olivia's hand, as they had separated for the waiter to deliver their food. "Anyway…" she smiled and then became serious. "I need to apologize to you, Liv. I shouldn't have said what I did at that press conference—there was a better answer there. I never meant to hurt you or deny you, Olivia. I hope you know that." She nodded. "You are the love of my life, and I know that. I've known it for a while, and I'm sorry that I couldn't just come out and say that."
"It ok, Alex. I understand." She winked at the attorney, and hesitated a bit. "So…are things ok between us?
"Yeah. We're good." Alex smiled and squeezed Olivia's hand. The detective winked at her and Alex felt herself shiver. They both began to eat, Alex digging into her chicken pasta and Olivia into her vegetarian flatbread.
Alex couldn't help but admire Olivia. Her golden eyes traced the outline of Alex's blouse, and the attorney had a hard time not ducking her head down to meet them. She watched as Olivia watched her, like a lion stalking its prey. Slowly, Alex took a sip of her wine, arching her neck and back a little more than she usually would. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Olivia, and she knew the detective had noticed. She put down a piece of her flatbread and took a drink of her water. Alex watched as her casted hand wrapped around the glass and she couldn't help but look sympathetically at Olivia's injured hand.
"What's that look for?" Olivia curiously asked. She had seen Alex's eyes shift from her face to her hand quickly and as she did, her face softened.
Alex's eyes moved from the clear cast to Olivia's face before she answered. "I was just looking at your hand. How's it feeling?" She winced as she asked this question.
Olivia scoffed a little, a small barely audible sound escaping her lips. "It's fine, Al. I'm fine. Just waiting for the stitches to dissolve." Alex listened and nodded her head. She knew that Olivia was being dismissive because she didn't think it was a big deal, and Alex had to agree to disagree with her on that. She didn't want to bring up Conrad, but the sight of that long red stitched scar down Olivia's pinky made it difficult.
"Alright. You know I just worry about you."
Olivia rolled her eyes and smiled a bit. "I'm good, Alex. Trust me. I can take care of myself." Their eyes connected, and in that moment, Olivia saw the sympathy in Alex's eyes while Alex saw the love for her in Olivia's. They both smiled hesitantly and turned their individual attentions back to their food. Alex picked up her utensils and twirled her linguini around the bowl, balancing it on her fork. Olivia watched this tango Alex played out with her pasta, noting the dexterity of the slender hand across from her.
"Are you not hungry?" Olivia was startled by Alex's voice, as she was mostly watching the attorney's hand, and not paying any attention to her mouth. She thought for a moment about how to answer the question, and decided to answer honestly.
"Well, I'm hungry…" Olivia paused and Alex wondered where she was going with this. If she was hungry, she should have eaten her food—was there something wrong with it? As she was running these thoughts around in her head, she heard Olivia explain. "Just not really for this." The look in Olivia's eyes froze Alex—the attorney hadn't ever seen anything like it. A naughty smile tugged at Alex's mouth, but Olivia was steadfast: she didn't even try to hide the fact that she was eyeing Alex's breasts as the attorney's skin grew hot with desire. She wasn't able to say anything before Olivia continued, sighing and folding her napkin into her lap.
"But, I guess I can wait a little longer for what I really want." Alex blinked herself back into the conversation—she had never seen Olivia come onto her as hard as she was at the current moment. Alex could admit that it was usually her idea to get Olivia into bed. Before she could fully gather herself, she heard Olivia's voice.
"So, how was your day?" She gazed across the table, swirling her cocktail in her hand waiting for Alex's response.
"It was good…well," she clarified, with a sigh, "it was alright—it had its bright spots." Alex swore she saw a hint of a smile on Olivia's face before the detective took a swig of her drink. "How was yours?" Alex wanted to change the subject while Olivia couldn't stop her. The detective swallowed her drink and looked up at her.
She thought for a second, rolling the question around in her brain. "Mine was pretty much the same." She took a second and thought it over. "I told you that I saw George…" Alex nodded as she twirled more pasta onto her fork. "So that was good. Opened my eyes a lot, I think." A smile passed between the two women as she continued. "And, I'm happy about that…Um," Olivia thought for a moment, recounting her day in her head. "You'd probably be happy to know that the first thing I did today was see Cragen and sign our disclosure papers." Alex's mouth was full, but her eyes told the whole story, wide with surprise. Quickly, she chewed and swallowed, hurrying her response.
"You did?" It was soft, unassuming. Olivia nodded and smiled a warm smile toward Alex. "Well, good." A content silence hung in the air as they both admired the other across the table.
"Yeah, it was good." Olivia paused, not knowing exactly how to approach the next topic. "What wasn't so good…" Olivia's eyes glanced up to meet Alex's as she sighed and crossed her legs under the table. "Was when Cragen told me that Conrad's attorneys are saying that I was the aggressor and I used excessive force." Olivia traced her hand over the top of her glass and waited for Alex's input.
"I know, Liv. I don't know what's going on there. Casey and I were completely blindsided by it today in court." Olivia shrugged a bit and quickly shook it off.
"I can't worry about that tonight." She shook her head and focused on Alex, making eye contact with the blonde. "I want tonight to be about us."
"I couldn't agree more." Alex tipped her wine glass to her mouth and emptied the last few drops that had settled at the base. The waiter returned and brought Olivia a box, where she hurriedly placed her leftovers.
"Is this together?" The waiter asked this question as he stood at the end of the table, eyeing Olivia digging in her wallet.
"Uh, yeah. This should cover it. Keep the change." Alex saw her hand him a few folded bills, including a fifty and a twenty. She thought he'd surely be happy with his tip amount. Before she could think any more about it, she felt Olivia's hand taking her own. "Let's get out of here, huh?"
Alex couldn't move fast enough: she grabbed her purse with her free hand and jumped up out of the chair, trailing behind Olivia, hand in hand. The rain had just started and the detective noticed this as she turned to Alex at the front of the restaurant.
"Did you take a cab?" Alex nodded. "Ok. Wait here. I'll get us one." With that, she stepped out onto the sidewalk and looked down the street. Alex couldn't help but stare at her muscled body bounding towards the street with each step of her jog. After a moment, she stepped out in the street, hailing a cab for the both of them. Olivia shook her short hair to the side and motioned to Alex, who hadn't taken her eyes off the detective the entire time.
Alex opened the door and jogged toward Olivia, who opened the back door of the cab for her. She slid in and watched in awe as Olivia sat down and closed the door, shaking her head so the excess rainwater fell to the floor. She ran one hand through her hair and pushed it over to the side a bit, giving the cab driver the address to their apartment. When she turned to look at Alex, she saw a familiar look of desire.
Olivia played it off. "I know, it doesn't look so great without any product in it." She motioned to her hair but Alex sat motionless, save for her eyes darting between Olivia's eyes and lips. "Are you o—?"
"You are so sexy." Olivia didn't have time to react as she felt Alex's hand reach over to her thigh, pressing desperately. In the same moment, her lips crashed down onto Olivia's, the detective pressed against the door. It was only one kiss and Alex pulled away, leaving Olivia with a confused look on her face. Alex responded. "We can finish that when we get home." Knowing it would be a lengthy cab ride, Olivia sat back and smiled, as she felt Alex's hand rest on her leg. The blonde took advantage of Olivia's wardrobe choice by tucking some of her fingers into the torn part of her jeans, satisfying that skin-to-skin contact the attorney had longed for these past few days.
After what seemed like hours, the cab pulled up to the familiar building in Brooklyn and both of the women couldn't wait to get up to the fourth floor apartment they knew so well. Alex paid the fare, to Olivia's chagrin, and the two women walked into the complex and called for the elevator. Knowing her lover's weakness, Alex went to work quickly.
She leaned over and placed her hand on the small of Olivia's back, whispering in her ear. "You know earlier today in the bathroom," Olivia's eyes widened, "as soon as you walked in, I was hoping you'd do," she paused, moving her hand a little lower on the detective's back, "exactly what you did." The elevator doors opened and Alex noted the deep red color that engulfed Olivia's face as she walked through ahead of Alex.
There was a crowd behind them, so Olivia stood behind Alex and she couldn't help but notice the attorney pressing her body against her a little more than she needed to. Before the elevator started making its ascent, Alex spotted the illuminated buttons that had been pushed for floors 1, 2, 3, and 4 and knew she'd have time to continue her seduction. She took her phone out of her purse and hid it in front of her body for a few seconds before Olivia saw her lock it and place it back in her bag.
As the elevator doors closed on the second floor, Olivia felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She didn't want anything to distract her from Alex, so she left it alone, until the attorney turned around to face her. "Check it," she whispered with the sexiest look Olivia had ever seen. She turned back around and made room for three more people by pushing her ass into Olivia and shifting a little to the left, garnering a comedic scoff from the detective.
By the time the elevator stopped on the third floor, Olivia had taken her phone out of her pocket and readied herself to read Alex's text message. With a swipe of her thumb, she opened it.
You have no idea how wet I am right now.
Olivia felt her eyebrows dance and could feel her core moisten at the thought. Alex heard the sound of Olivia's phone locking and turned around to gauge her reaction. She was surprised when she saw Olivia with a straight-faced, determined look. Alex knew the next few hours would be exactly what she had been looking forward to for the past week.