Chapter 9:
Tom had just come down the stairs at the same time that Margo was walking through the front door. Margo looks up and is completely surprised to see Tom standing there.
"Margo?" Tom says, his voice cracking with emotion.
"I signed the separation papers and sent them back to you. You should have gotten them by now." Margo tells him as she looks away, trying to avoid making any kind of eye contact with Tom.
"I did get them, along with your note and your wedding ring. That's not the reason why I'm here." Tom replies.
"What are you doing here, then?" Margo asks as she walks over to the couch to sit down.
"Casey told me about everything being packed up. I had to see for myself." Tom states as he walks over to the couch.
"When did Casey come by?" Margo asks as she takes off her shoes, trying anything to avoid making eye contact with Tom at all costs.
"Casey and Chris came by here yesterday to get Grandpa Chris's pocket watch for the ceremony. Casey told me about everything being packed up when he and Chris came by my office. I came here to see for myself. You didn't have to pack everything up." Tom says.
"What, and have everything around here be a constant reminder of you walking out, that Casey doesn't want anything to do with me? I realize that you have no intention of ever coming back. I am finally beginning to accept the fact that our marriage is over. What's the point of having all the pictures, mementos, and other things when all it really is a painful reminder of that? Yes, Tom, I had to pack all of that stuff up." Margo tells him still looking away from him. "I was planning on making arraignments through Annette with you for you and Casey to come get the rest of your things—unless you would like me to leave and you can take whatever now."
"First of all, slow down. You just got home. What makes you think that I want you to leave?" Tom asks.
"For starters, knowing that you can't deal to be in the same room with me. You made it clear to me that night you walked out that you want nothing more to do with me. So, what do you really want and why are you here? I signed the separation papers because that is what you wanted; Casey's living with you because he doesn't want anything to do with me either. So, there's really nothing left to talk about. "Margo states.
"Yes, Margo, there are some things that we do need to talk about." Tom replies then sits on the couch next to Margo.
"What is there to talk about? You don't believe me about what I told you about what happened between Doc and me in that locker room. There is no way now to convince you that I was telling you the truth. So, what's the point?" Margo asks as she gets up from the couch and walks away.
"The point is that we do need to talk about it. You might not want to believe it, but we do need to talk about." Tom states.
"Why? Is it so that you can remind me that our marriage is over? Is it so that you can remind me that you aren't coming back? Is it so that you can remind me that you don't believe me, your now-estranged wife? That you believe some waitress/bartender that you barely know? What is there to talk about?" Margo asks.
"Margo, first of all, please try to calm down. You don't need to be getting yourself all worked up and stressed out about this. Something happened last week during Doc's trial that you need to know about. I know that is the last thing that you want to talk about. Please, let me explain, Margo. Please, hear me out." Tom implies. "I know that I am the last person you probably want to see, or even talk to right now. Will you please give me the chance to explain what happened? You do need to know about this. You need to know what happened."
Margo reluctantly walks over to the chair on the other side of the couch and sits down.
"I don't think what you have to say is really going to change anything—you don't believe that our marriage can be saved. You proved that to me the night you walked out, then when you had me served with separation papers. I know you don't plan on coming back." Margo states as she looks down.
"I'm here now. Doesn't that say something to you?" Tom asks.
"I don't know." Margo replies. "I really don't know what to believe anymore."
"Margo, I know about what happened that afternoon in the locker room." Tom states.
"No, you don't. What you know is what Jill told you—which was a big lie. I tried telling you the truth about what happened and you believed Jill's version of events." Margo interjects.
"I had to call Jill to testify last week in Doc's trial. She stated in court about another incident of Doc trying to force himself on another woman the week before he assaulted Cami Gaborik. Jill stated what she walked in and what she saw. When I asked her if she knew the identity of the woman Doc tried forcing himself on before he raped Cami Gaborik, she stated in court—on the witness stand—that she knew the identity of the other woman and she said it was someone I knew very well. When I asked her who it was, she stated that the other woman that Doc tried forcing himself on was you." Tom states.
"And do you honestly believe that she told you the truth on the witness stand? After what she did, after I told you she was lying about what she saw? Did you even see the bruise on my arm from that?" Margo angrily asks.
"Jill handed me the videotape she stole from the surveillance system at the country club. She stated that the whole incident was recorded and it's on the tape. I watched it because Hal, Tyler, and I discussed the possibility of filing assault charges against Doc for what he did to you. I recused myself from this because of our marriage. Doc pled no contest to the new charges." Tom tells Margo as she gets up from the chair and walks over to the island.
"So, what now, Tom? Now you supposedly believe what I was telling you that night? That still doesn't change anything. Our marriage is over because of Jill deliberately lied to you and you believed her lies over me. You believed someone you barely know over your own wife. How do you think I feel about that, Tom? You never gave me the benefit of the doubt at all. I was your wife, Tom. I thought you would believe me and believe in me. Boy, I found out the hard way that you never did." Margo says, trying to choke back the tears.
"Margo, you're still my wife. I never filed those separation papers and I'm not going to. I am so sorry that I never gave you the benefit of the doubt that night. I am so sorry for walking out like that without giving you any kind of a chance to talk about this. I am so sorry for snapping at you like that. I thought I saw a bruise on your arm. I know I didn't ask you about it. I realize now that I acted so impulsively that night. I kept hearing what Jill told me over and over in my mind. I know there's no excuse for what I did. I honestly wish I can go back and change what I did, but I know I can't. Ever since I found out about all of this, I have been feeling so bad and guilty about how I treated you and what I did. I believe you. It's my mistake for not believing you from the start." Tom states as tears are beginning to well up in his eyes.
"You now believe me after Jill confessed to lying to you. You now believe me after watching the videotape." Margo says loudly.
"Please calm down. I don't need you to get all worked up over this. I know that you haven't been feeling well the past several weeks. I know. I called you to find out if you were okay and you never bothered calling me back." Tom states.
"I didn't call you back is because it doesn't matter to you anymore." Margo says. "I know it doesn't matter to you."
"Margo, it does matter to me. You're my wife, you're Casey's mom. How could it not matter to me?" Tom asks.
"It didn't matter to you the night you walked out. Why should it matter to you now?" Margo asks as she walks away from the island over to the windows.
"Because I know you're pregnant, Margo. I know that you couldn't bring yourself to tell me. I know that you wanted to be the one to tell me about the baby—our baby." Tom tells Margo as a tear starts to roll down his cheek.
Margo turns around and looks at Tom in disbelief after hearing him tell her that he knows about the baby.
"You know?" Margo asks.
"Yes, I do. Why couldn't you tell me about the baby?" Tom asks, his voice cracking with emotion, "How long have you known? How far along are you?"
Margo walks over to the couch and sits down. She wipes away the tears that are spilling over, not wanting Tom to see them.
"I'm about four and a half months along. I found out the day before Doc attacked me in the locker room. I couldn't tell you because of the last time I was pregnant, when you accused me of that baby being Eddie's. All of those painful memories—you accusing me of Eddie being the baby's father, the abortion appointment that Emily set up, knowing that you didn't want anything to do with that baby or me at that point, suffering the miscarriage alone—all that came back to the surface, especially the miscarriage because of finding out later that you were with Emily when it happened. I knew that if I had told you about the baby when I found out that you were going to assume that Doc was the father of this baby and I couldn't go through that again." Margo replies. "On top of that, I overheard you tell Jessica something that confirmed to me that you don't want anything to do with me or this baby."
"Margo, we wanted to have another child after having Casey for the longest time. Now, we are finally having another child together. I still remember to this day how emotionally shattered you were after having that last miscarriage. I still can't forgive myself knowing how I treated you beforehand or not being there when you needed me the most. What makes you think that I don't want anything to do with our baby?" Tom asks.
"Shortly after you walked out on me and Casey moved out, I went over to your office to drop off a case file for possible charges. I was going to give you the file, tell you about the baby, then leave. You were in there talking to Jessica at the time. While you two were talking, I overheard you tell Jessica that the thought of you being in the same room with me makes you sick. That statement right there confirmed to me that you didn't want anything to do with me or this baby. I just left. There was no point in me telling you about this baby. It just brought up everything from the last miscarriage and I couldn't go through all that again." Margo replies, averting her gaze away from Tom so he wouldn't see the tears rolling down her cheek.
Tom bites his lip, feeling the pangs of hurt stab him when he hears Margo tell him that she overheard him tell Jessica about the thought of him being in the same room with her made him sick and that it confirmed for her that he didn't want anything to do with her or the baby and when she tells him that the painful memories of her last miscarriage were drudged up again because of all this.
"Margo, I am here now and that is the important thing. I am so sorry that you overheard what I said to Jessica. I didn't know you were there. I was heartbroken to find out about the baby from Jill. I was heartbroken to hear that you didn't know if you were ever going to be able to tell me. I am so sorry that all the painful memories of the last miscarriage were brought back to the surface for you and you had to relive all of that and I know that is entirely my fault. If I could take the pain away, I would do so in a heartbeat. I know how bad you wanted to have a little girl of your own for the longest time. I also remember that you were resigned to the fact that we weren't ever going to have another child together and I know that hurt you a lot. I want this baby with you. I want our baby." Tom says as he walks over, crouches down by where Margo is sitting and gently places his hand on her stomach.
Just as Tom places his hand on Margo's stomach, the baby moves.
Margo looks down and sees Tom's hand on her stomach when she feels the baby move.
"That's the first time I've really felt the baby move." Margo says quietly as a tear rolls down her check and Tom continues to gently rub her stomach.
"You okay?" Tom asks.
"Yeah." Margo says quietly as she wipes the tear away from her cheek.
"I know that this separation has been hard on you. Hal told me that you were working an awful lot and barely taking any time off. When I saw you at the police station for the first time in two months, looking all pale and withdrawn—my immediate thought was that your HCV was bothering you. Seeing you like that immediately reminded me of when you were first diagnosed with HCV. I thought I would never have to see you like that again and when I saw you looking like that-that scared me, Margo. That's why I called you that afternoon. I had to find out for myself if you were alright. It was killing me not knowing if you were doing alright, not knowing how the baby was—or even if everything is okay with the baby. I am also aware of what happened with Doc and my walking out might have drudged up other painful memories for you—like the rape. I know it's my fault if those were brought up and I know telling you how sorry I am isn't going to change that." Tom says.
"I had to deal with that too. I don't know which was worse. For two weeks after you walked out, I couldn't even sleep. The nightmares came back and they were just as bad as when I first had them. It just seemed every bad memory I have was brought back to the surface when you walked out—even Bart." Margo says then gets up out of the chair and walks over to the island.
"What do you mean Bart? You haven't seen him for years." Tom replies somewhat confused about what she said about Bart—her former stepfather.
Margo walks back over to the chair and sits down.
"It's things that he told me when I was growing up." Margo says quietly as she looks away, "I don't want to talk about it."
"Listen to me, I told you that I acted impulsively that night I snapped at you and walked out. I told you that I couldn't get what Jill was saying out of my head about what she told me supposedly happened in that locker room. There's more to that and it's something that has been resurfacing for me too. When Jill told me about what she supposedly saw happen in the locker room, before she admitted to lying about the whole thing, I was reminded of bad things that have happened to me before I met you. I thought that after we got married that I would never have to deal with that ever again. It all came back to me and I took it out on you. I realized that after Jill testified on the stand, then all the guilt hit me then. What made it worse was when I saw that you signed the separation papers and I read the note that you wrote, and you included your wedding ring." Tom says as he moves over by the chair where Margo's sitting.
"When I saw how angry you were and the anger in your eyes that night you walked out, it was like Bart was standing right there. You gave me the same angry stare that he would always give me before he started in on me about how I wasn't good enough, how I was a mistake and that I don't ever deserve to be happy or loved. It was like hearing and seeing Bart all over again." Margo says as she looks away from Tom, not wanting him to see the hurt in her eyes and the tears welling up.
Tom is taken aback by what he just heard. He was aware of Bart and how emotionally abusive he was towards Margo when she was growing up, but to hear her say that he reminded her of him that night—Tom felt like his heart was breaking. He was still feeling bad about what he had done and how he treated Margo that night. But to hear that his anger that night reminded her of Bart, was crushing him.
"Margo, I didn't mean to." Tom says as a couple of tears roll down his cheek. "I never meant to be a reminder of Bart. I screwed up big time here—when I snapped at you like that, when I walked out without asking you questions, without trying to make any kind of sense of the situation and what happened with Doc in that locker room. On top of all that, finding out that a lot of painful memories and reminders have been brought back to the surface for you and you having to deal with that all alone—that's my fault. Ever since I found out about all of this, all I wanted to do is talk to you—to see you. I am so sorry that you've had to go through all of this. I've told you before, if I could go back and change all of it, I would. I know I screwed up here, I'm the one that made the mistake of not giving you the benefit of the doubt, and I made the mistake of walking out on you— and our unborn baby. I want to be here for you, and for the baby. You don't have to deal with this pregnancy by yourself. You have already done that once, please, don't put yourself through that again—especially with this one being a high-risk pregnancy."
Margo gets up from the chair, confused by everything that has transpired since she's come home. As she walks over to the island, she feels a sharp pain in her stomach and collapses to her knees. Tom, seeing this, immediately rushes over to her.
"Tom?" Margo says as Tom catches her.
"I'm right here. What's going on?" Tom asks as he helps his wife over to the couch.
"I don't know." Margo says, all scared.
"I'm not going anywhere." Tom says as he grabs the cordless phone and calls for help for his wife….