Chapter 12:
Monday morning, Tom and Margo's house 11:30 am.
While at Casey's pre-op appointment, Tom had decided that he and Casey were going to move back to the house from the Lakeview, even though Margo was real apprehensive about the idea. After the appointment, Tom and Casey went to get their things from the Lakeview to move back to the house. After helping Casey bring his things in the house and up to his bedroom, Tom starts bringing in his suitcases and his things.
Casey walks out of his bedroom to go downstairs when he notices his dad putting his things in the guest bedroom.
"Dad, your room is down the hall. What are you doing in the guest bedroom?" Casey asks.
"I told your mom I would take the guest bedroom for the time being." Tom explains.
"Is Mom really okay with us moving back home?" Casey asks.
"I don't know, Case. She did seem to be a little uneasy about this. However, I told your mom that I am going to make sure she follows the orders from her doctors for the rest of her pregnancy, not only for her sake, but also your baby sister's. I also told her that it would be good for both you and Daniel to be back home and not living in a hotel. I also told her that it would be good to have some sense of normalcy again after the past several months. Besides, it would also give you and your mom opportunities to talk and try to work things out. I know it's going to give your mom and me that chance too." Tom explains.
"What do you mean a baby sister? You guys can't find that out already, can you?" Casey asks.
"Yes, you're going to have a baby sister. As a matter of fact, your mom and I found out that you were going to be a boy when she had the ultrasound when she was pregnant with you. That's when we told both your Grandpa Bob and Grandpa John that we had already picked out a name for you and that your name was going to be Casey-after your mom's stepfather, and Katie's dad." Tom explains. "Your mom and I found out yesterday that the baby your mom is carrying right now is a girl—something your mom has always wanted after having both you and Adam."
"Wow, a little sister. That is going to take some getting used to. When is the baby expected to be born?" Casey asks.
"Yes, it is. Around February 26th. Your mom has always wanted a little girl for such a long time." Tom says.
"Wow, that's close to my birthday. What about Lien?" Casey asks as he and Tom head downstairs.
"We didn't find out about Lien until she showed up here in Oakdale and that was by total surprise. By then, she was already in her teens." Tom explains
"How come you didn't know about her until then?" Casey asks.
"It's a long story, Case. I didn't know that Lien's mother was pregnant when I left Vietnam. By the time that Lien had showed up here in Oakdale, her mother had passed away and your mom and I were trying to have a baby at the time, and we had already lost two at that point. Your mom had a hard time adjusting to Lien being here at first, but then Lien and your mom got to be really close, which they still are. Lien actually considers her to be a second mother." Tom explains.
"Do you think things are ever going to be okay again with Mom? Casey asks. "She seems kind of withdrawn, like she doesn't want to be around us—or at least me."
"Casey, why don't we sit down?" Tom says as he and Casey walk over to the couch and sit down. "Listen, your mom has been through an awful lot in her life and everything that has happened with Doc, you and me moving out on her, the pregnancy—it has brought up a lot of bad stuff for your mom and she has had to deal with basically reliving some of the really painful stuff that she put behind her. The hard part of it is that your mom had to deal with it this time around alone. There were a couple of incidents that could have cost your mom her life. And then, there is the stuff that I am responsible for that has painfully resurfaced for her."
"What do you mean a couple of incidents that could have cost Mom her life? What are you talking about? Casey asks, with a confused look on his face.
"Remember when Mom had her liver transplant a couple of years ago and we told you and Adam that the reason why she had to have it was because of something that happened to her when you and Adam were little." Tom says as he looks down at his hands.
"Yeah, you said that was the reason why she got so sick." Casey says.
"We didn't tell you what really happened to her. We weren't trying to hide anything from you guys, it's that it's still hard to talk about—let alone explain to you guys." Tom states quietly.
"Dad, was that something that happened to Mom really bad?" Casey asks.
"Yes, Casey, it was really bad. It was something that no woman should ever have to go through in their life. To be honest with you, I am still amazed that she was eventually able to get through it. There is really no easy way to explain this except that your mom was raped. She was at a liquor store picking up a bottle of wine when it was held up in a robbery. Your mom tried to go get the license plate of their vehicle when the back door locked behind her and the two guys saw her. One of them held your mom down while the other one raped her. We didn't find out until after he was arrested that he was HIV+. Luckily, your mom ended up testing negative both times she was tested for HIV, but we did find out when your mom got sick that he did pass on the Hepatitis C virus to her. The virus attacked your mom's liver and that is why she had to have the liver transplant." Tom says as he tries to maintain his composure, remembering that night they came back from Cape Cod that basically changed their lives forever.
"How come you and Mom didn't tell Adam and me any of this?" Casey asks as he looks down at his hands.
"Case, you and Adam were little kids when she was attacked. You were only about 18 months old at the time. We had a hard time explaining to you guys about all the bruises she had. There was really no way to explain it to you guys at the ages you were at when this happened in a way that you guys would be able to understand. There really isn't an easy way to explain to two little kids at the time that their mother was raped by a stranger. When your mom was diagnosed with having HCV because of the rape, she was reliving that whole nightmare all over again." Tom explains.
"Is Mom dealing with this all over again because of us moving out like we did?" Casey asks.
"Yeah, unfortunately, she is. Not only has she had to deal with the rape all over again because of what Doc tried to do to her, but she's also had to deal with some things all over again that are directly my fault. And because of that, your mom felt like she couldn't tell me that she found out she was pregnant—or if she was ever going to be able to tell me." Tom quietly states.
"Why wouldn't Mom tell you about the baby?" Casey asks. "Did she think that there was a chance that the baby isn't yours?"
"No, there is no doubt in my mind that the baby your mom is carrying is mine. I found out when exactly she found out about the pregnancy. She found out the day before Doc tried to force himself on her. I put two and two together and there is definitely a good chance that this baby was conceived when your mom and I had the house to ourselves while you were out in Los Angeles with Adam and Lien when you and Lien were invited to be extras in that movie project that Adam was working on at the time—not long before Doc came to town. The reason why your mom couldn't bring herself to tell me about the baby—it probably has to do with the one night I was with Emily that resulted in Daniel being conceived, when your mom suffered a miscarriage alone. I treated your mom pretty bad right before then and I made some accusations against your mom that I shouldn't have made." Tom explains, ashamed of how he treated Margo then the last time she was pregnant.
"What do you mean you made accusations against Mom?" Casey asks.
"When your mom was pregnant the last time, I accused your mom of sleeping with Eddie Silva and the baby being his. That wasn't true. The baby was mine. In addition, Emily had set up your mom to make me believe that she was going to have an abortion shortly before she suffered the miscarriage. The worst part of that whole ordeal was that I let your mom down that night when she suffered the miscarriage by herself. That was the night I was with Emily and that night resulted in Daniel. To be completely honest with you, Case, as long as I live, I will never be able to forgive myself for doing that to your mom."
"But Mom's fine around Daniel now." Casey states.
"Yes, and that took quite a while for that to happen. When Daniel was a baby, he was a constant reminder to your mom of the baby she lost. She had a real hard time with it. She couldn't be around him for quite some time. It was almost a good two years before she was. Then she was resigned to the fact that we weren't going to have any more kids together and that I know bothered her a lot." Tom says dejectedly.
"What about this baby now?" Casey quietly asks. "Mom has to be excited for this baby, right?"
"I don't know. Yesterday before the ultrasound, she told me that she can't get the thought out of her mind that there's something wrong with this baby." Tom explains.
"Is there something wrong with the baby, Dad?" Casey quietly asks.
"No, your soon-to-be little sister is just fine. She's developing normally. Your mom and the baby are going to have to be monitored closely in case of any complications arise from this condition your mom now has." Tom states.
"Remember that condition I told you about yesterday that we were waiting to see if she has-the intrahepatic cholestasis?" Tom asks.
"Yeah." Casey replies.
"We got the test results back yesterday and she has it. One of the complications of this condition is that the baby's heartbeat can become real erratic and could result in mom having her prematurely. That's why it's real important for the remainder of this pregnancy that your mom has to take it easy, and that's if Dr. Martinez doesn't order your mom to bed rest for the rest of it. We'll know more sometime today when we speak with Dr. Martinez. Are you all done bringing your stuff in the house?" Tom asks as he gets up from the couch.
"I was going to hook my game console back up to my TV and maybe hang out here for a while—get used to my bed again." Casey says.
"Okay, I have a couple of things I have to take care of here and then I am going to head over to the hospital and hopefully sometime later today, I'll know more about when she's coming home. "Tom states as he heads back upstairs.
After Tom finishes climbing the stairs, he walks into the guest bedroom and grabs the bags from A Child's Place and Sleepwear. He then walks down the hallway to the master bedroom. He walks in and places the bags on the bed and takes out the pink polar fleece blanket, the white polar fleece blanket with pink teddy bears, a pink bear, and a pink Chicago Cubs outfit. Tom takes those items and carefully places those items in a large pink and white gift box, then attaches a white bow on the top of the box. After fixing the bow on top of the box, Tom takes out a smaller, white box from the bag and removes the cover. In the box, is a white frame with pink lettering that says "Our little girl" with pink foot and handprints all over it. Tom takes the frame out of the white box and places it on top of the pink and white gift box. He then takes the pair of green maternity pajamas out of the Sleepwear bag and places them in the gift box from the store and places the other box on top of it.
Tom takes the card out of the bag, and then walks over to the desk and starts looking for a pen. After finding one, Tom opens the card that reads "Although I don't always tell you, I love you in so many ways." Tom writes "We are not perfect, but we are perfect for each other. I love you. You may not believe it, but I do love you. Love, Tom"
After Tom slips the card into the envelope and writes Margo's name on the envelope, he gets up from the chair and slips the card underneath the bow on top of the box and places the two boxes in a large gift bag.
Tom goes downstairs and makes sure that the bouquet of African violets is watered and the "Welcome Home" balloon is tied to the bottom of the vase.
Casey comes downstairs and heads towards the fridge.
"I see that Mom hasn't gone shopping in a while. The fridge is almost empty. There's nothing to eat here." Casey says as he's looking around in the fridge.
"I noticed that earlier. I called Kim earlier this morning and asked her if she wouldn't mind running to the grocery store for me. Between your mom's appointment, her possibly coming home from the hospital and your surgery getting moved up to tomorrow, I just didn't know when I was going to have time to get to the store. Kim should be here anytime now." Tom replies as a car pulls up in the driveway.
"I think that might be Kim now." Tom says as he looks out the window. "It's her. I am going to help her bring in what I asked her to get."
"Wow, there might actually be food in the house?" Casey asks.
"Yes, Case." Tom says as he opens the door.
"Hi guys. How are you both doing this morning?" Kim asks as she walks in.
"We're getting settled." Tom replies.
"That's good. When's Margo supposed to be coming home?" Kim asks.
"Hopefully within a couple of days. She has an appointment with Dr. Martinez this afternoon. Dr. Samuels wants to keep Margo in the hospital to monitor her blood pressure. Tom states.
"Did she say where she went?" Kim asks.
"No, I haven't asked her yet." Tom replies.
"I know I am looking forward to sleeping in my own bed." Casey interjects.
"I know you are. You complained about the bed at the Lakeview since day one." Tom replies.
"I just wonder how Mom's going to take us moving back here after everything that's happened. When I talked to Mom at the hospital, I felt like I made things worse and she doesn't want me around." Casey quietly states as he looks down at his cast.
"It's going to take some time, Casey. This whole situation with your mom isn't going to resolve itself overnight. It's going to be an adjustment for everybody for a while, but hopefully, things will get back to normal." Kim implies as she puts her arm around Casey.
"Kim, I am going to start bringing in the bags from your car." Tom says as he walks over towards the door. "I'll give you two a few minutes alone."
"Okay, dear." Kim says. "Are you okay, Casey?"
"I don't know. When I saw Mom at the hospital yesterday, I thought she might be somewhat happy to see me, but I don't think she was. I know what I said to her hurt really bad, but you would think after not seeing me for a couple of months, she would be somewhat relieved to see me." Casey dejectedly tells Kim.
"I think your mom might still be feeling hurt about what you said to her about not wanting anything to do with her. I can't personally speak for her, but I think that she feels like everyone's abandoned her. There have been times where she's felt like that before, and she's probably feeling that again. Grandpa, Lisa, and I have tried to tell her that she'll always be apart of the family, no matter what happens, but I could sense that she didn't believe us. I could sense that she didn't believe me when I told her. Your mom is going to need some time. She's probably has had a lot to deal with alone and she's probably hurting over that, too. She's going to need time to heal. You and your parents are going to need time to get through this. I know you don't like hearing this, but, you're going to have to be patient with your mom." Kim replies.
"I can't remember when Mom was ever like this, at all. What if Mom doesn't want to be around me ever again?" Casey asks, trying to keep his emotions in check as he turns away from Kim and Tom enters the house carrying a couple of bags of groceries.
"Casey, I don't think that's going to happen. Your mom's going to need some time to figure things out. I can't imagine your mom not having to do anything with you. She loves you. It may not seem like it now, but she does. She's dealing with an awful lot right now and she needs time to figure things out. I know you don't want to hear this, but you're going to have to be patient with her as she works through all of this. She's going to need some time. And with her being pregnant right now—it's not making things much easier." Kim says as she tries to reassure Casey.
"We're all going to need some time to get through all of this, bud." Tom states as he places the two bags he was carrying in on the island and starts taking out the bag's contents.
"I'm just scared right now about the whole thing. I'm scared that something might happen." Casey quietly asserts.
"Nothing's going to happen. I am going to be reducing my caseload and passing a couple of cases to Tyler for the time being so that I can be here with your mom. When I do have to be at court, I will talk to Gram about her coming over and staying with your mom so she's not alone while I am gone." Tom states.
"But, what about me trying to talk to her? You saw how upset she got at the hospital yesterday when I tried talking with her. I told you that I made things worse with her." Casey says, upset.
"Case, just take things slowly with her. That's all you can do. Find something that you can talk to her with—about your day at school, problems with your homework, whatever you know that isn't going to make her upset. Let her set the pace on what she's comfortable talking about because we don't want her getting all upset or stressed out right now. And when you notice she starts to get upset or uncomfortable about something, take that as your cue to change the subject or take a break from talking. As time goes on, you'll both feel comfortable to talk about what has happened and how you both were affected by it." Tom states. "It's going to take time for your mom and me too. You're not alone in this."
"I know. I feel bad for what I did to mom and I don't know if that bad feeling is ever going to go away." Casey says.
"It eventually will, Casey. One of the things that will help in making that bad feeling go away is by talking to someone you feel comfortable with. It's not going to help anyone to keep that bottled up inside. Talking about it will help in the process of moving on." Kim states.
"I know. I just wish that this whole thing with Doc never happened." Casey quietly states as he put his head in his hands while standing near the island.
"Bud, you're not the only one" Tom says as he rubs Casey's back, feeling guilty over what he did to Margo. "I wish it never would have happened too."
"Hey, Casey. I've got an idea. Is there anything that you want for after your surgery tomorrow, since you're probably going to be cooped up for a while? Maybe you would like to come with me and get out of the house for a while-maybe get a couple new movies." Kim implies.
"Sure, if that's okay with Dad?" Casey asks, looking over at his dad.
"Yeah, bud. It's okay. I've got the last couple of things here to put away, and then I am going to head over to the hospital. I'll let you know about her appointment with Dr. Martinez." Tom states as he puts the groceries that Kim brought over away.
"Tom, do you want me to pick up some movies for Margo while I've got Casey with me?" Kim asks.
"I know that Casey brought Margo the new Ann Rule novel for her to read. I think she'd like a couple of the new crime dramas that have recently been released on DVD. I think that she would really like those." Tom says.
"Okay, we will see what we can find there. Casey, are you ready to go? Tom, what time does Casey need to be back for his pre-op appointment?" Kim asks.
"His pre-op appointment was at 9 this morning. He has to be at Memorial's Day Surgery Center at 7 am for his surgery tomorrow." Tom replies.
"How does this sound? I'll give you a call around 7 pm to see if Margo's home and settled, and I'll pick up some take-out for you guys and bring it on back when I bring Casey home. What do you think?" Kim asks as she puts her arm around Casey, trying to cheer him up.
"That sounds good, Kim." Tom replies back.
"Can Mom have pizza?" Casey asks.
"I'll ask your mom what she feels like having if I'm able to bring her home, okay, bud?" Tom asks. "I am going to go upstairs and grab a change of clothes for your mom, stop by the Mona Lisa to pick up the to-go-order for lunch, and head over to the hospital."
"Is Mom going to come home today?" Casey asks.
"I hope so. Keep your fingers crossed. I'll call you on your cell if something changes." Tom states. "Your mom has an appointment with Dr. Martinez sometime today and I really should be there for that."
"Okay, Tom, I am going to take Casey and we'll talk to you later." Kim says as she and Casey are about to walk out of the house.
"I'll talk to you guys later." Tom says as he heads upstairs.