I don't own Star Trek Voyager.
Please let me know what you think, as this isn't a Janeway friendly one-shot.
I was going to post this on Halloween, but the site would not work.
Why didn't you tell me you were setting up a sting?
Chakotay was enjoying punching the living daylights out of the boxing bag, although he wished instead of a blank leathery surface he was punching somebody else. He had a plethora of targets, really; Janeway, Tuvok, to a degree Tom Paris although truthfully the other man was more or less off of the hook given how Paris had personally come to see him as soon as the Doctor had cleared him after Voyager had gotten him off of that Kazon shuttle, and told him the story of what had happened.
Apparently, Janeway and Tuvok, both of them proving the near limitless lack of trust they had for him, had told Paris not to say a word about the sting, but Paris had argued, saying the saboteur didn't necessarily have to be a Maquis, unfortunately, the pair of them had both been thinking 'of course it's a Maquis, heaven forbid one of our holier-than-thou fleeters be spies,' forgetting just how many times a Starfleet officer had been betrayed or let down by another. They had twisted Paris' arm and they had apparently threatened him although truthfully what they could threaten Tom Paris with was anybody's guess; Paris was one of the few members of the crew who didn't give a damn about returning home.
His family, not knowing if he was alive or not after the Caretaker had dropped them in this part of the galaxy, had disowned him after he'd made that stupid mistake in the shuttle before lying officially and he was drummed out of the service, and they weren't able to stand the shame although there was a history of bad blood between them and it was unlikely Paris cared about them beyond a few members.
No, whatever they'd threatened Paris with it must have been big. Only Paris wasn't talking, and truthfully Chakotay didn't want to know.
But more importantly, he wanted to have Michael fucking Jonas in front of him, so then Chakotay could pummel the bastard to death. Unfortunately, he didn't even have that. Jonas was dead, killed during the struggle between himself and Neelix, his body had been vapourised in a plasma fire. But he wished Jonas was here; thanks to him, things between him and Janeway were worse, and his already non-existent trust in the bitch from hell had gone down a few more notches.
What the hell had made Jonas turn on them all? Why the hell would he begin trusting Seska who was a Cardassian agent lost in the Delta Quadrant, 70,000 light-years from home and in a place where the mess in the DMZ didn't even really matter? Was Jonas like Lon Suder, a man who just wanted to fight for the sake of it, and truly didn't care about the cause? Somehow Chakotay couldn't really see it, and as he repeatedly punched the punching bag, his blows augmented by his rage, he realised something important.
Some of the Maquis had been having many troubles adjusting to life on a Starfleet ship, following rules and regulations whereas before their primary job on a ship was to show up, contribute, and fight. Many bemoaned the way their lives had bene turned upside down, and it was made worse because Captain Janeway was born and raised fleeter who didn't have a clue of how to live outside of the uniform and could recite the Prime Directive protocols off by heart.
Jonas hadn't. He had kept his head down and he'd decided the best thing to do wasn't to fight it. In many ways, he had done precisely what Chakotay had wanted the whole time. They were going to be on Voyager for a very long time, and even if they did find some faster means of getting back to the Alpha Quadrant, there was no guarantee at the same time, so they'd need to adapt to a different way of thinking and living. Some of the Maquis hadn't liked it, but they'd needed to accept it and quick. Unfortunately, some of them just lacked the mentality to make it all work; before being promoted to Chief Engineer, B'elanna had provided the biggest headaches, and it wasn't helped when Garvin and Seska had told him they'd mutiny against Janeway and take the ship.
Did they really think mutiny was the key to getting home? They seemed to think if they raised a phaser towards Janeway and the rest of the fleet crew, they'd magically open a wormhole, and get home. It wasn't going to happen; some of the Maquis might think he'd become indoctrinated by his past again, his Starfleet past, the truth was he hated it. He hated being in that damn uniform and he hated being forced to remember what it represented.
Ever single time he looked at the uniform, felt the replicated material it was composed from, and saw that damn badge, he wanted to throw it into an airlock and flush the bloody thing out into space!
He hated Starfleet after it had let down the colonists along the border separating Federation space and Cardassian space, and he especially hated the way Starfleet had dismissed his people on Dorvan colony; it was a repeat of how the Native American Indians had been driven from their own lands. They had given away so much, and for the Cardassians when they knew they'd just take take and take.
Unfortunately, he had to tolerate being Janeway's first officer. The woman was a contradiction in terms, she was forever telling both crews they needed to cooperate, and it was happening. In main engineering, B'elanna had settled down and she and the other Maquis who worked there had begun working with the Starfleet crew, leaving their ideals at the door. But Janeway lacked the mentality to put her ideals into action. She was forever hemming in the Maquis, she was constantly ignoring his advice such as allowing frequent shore leave to give everyone the chance to unwind, and even take advantage of the respite to repair parts of the ship.
But no, Janeway was so desperate to get home, she was willing to put all of their lives in danger by travelling into every trouble spot within range and it cost them more damage to the ship, the burning of so many resources and injuries or deaths. It was as if the woman just didn't care, but the truth of the matter was she did care, she was just incapable of accepting life without her precious admirals around to tell her what to do and where her precious rules and regulations were upheld by people like her.
And she had lied to him, held the truth from him for months. If she was truly interested in an alliance between Starfleet and the Maquis on the ship, then she would have told him what was going on, why Paris had been mouthing off for the last couple of months and had even assaulted him on public, he might have even gone along with it and given Tom an even harder time to make things more authentic while he used his insights into trying to find the saboteur.
What did they do instead? They had kept it all from him until the last minute when Neelix had found those traces leading to Tom's quarters, and the stupid Talaxian had nearly ruined the whole scheme. It was just typical of Janeway's thinking, really; the woman was just prepared to trust him and the other Maquis to a point so long as they didn't cross the line and fill in the number of people carelessly killed by the Caretaker when Voyager was yanked into the Delta Quadrant with the ship-less Maquis crew, and instead of using their ideas and knowledge and experience and combine it with her own, she was just pushing them away without even realising it. She was also ignorant of how hypocritical she even was, and that was even worse.
Chakotay was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the holodeck doors open distinctly, but he didn't turn around to find out who it was. He just walked to the towel and the bottle of water he'd left nearby, and he dabbed his face to get rid of the sweat before he did turn and he nearly groaned when he saw it was Janeway, dressed as usual in her pristine uniform. Her expression was stern.
"Captain," he greeted between pants.
"Commander," Janeway returned in that strange voice of hers he doubted he would ever like. "Why are you missing your duty shift?"
Stunned Chakotay checked the time on the chronometer he'd left nearby, and he cursed angrily when he saw the time. He'd missed a good quarter already of his duty shift, and he hadn't realised it. He had been so frustrated and angry with recent events, he had lost track of time.
"I'm sorry. I'll….," for a moment he was lost for words and he was breathless as well which didn't help, "I'll make it up after my shift."
"Very well," Janeway may as well have been a Vulcan for the emotion she had in her voice, but it was her annoyed gaze at having to come down here, leaving her precious bridge to come here and see him punching a boxing bag and sweating as he did that told him how she felt.
And…. He found he didn't care at all.
"Get cleaned up, and don't exercise like this again in the middle of your duty shifts again. Understood?" Janeway was about to turn away, deciding the bollocking was over, but he wasn't finished.
"Why didn't you tell me you were setting up a sting?" Chakotay decided to sort out this thing on his mind, once and for all. He had been so frustrated with Janeway and Tuvok's hypocrisy and how they didn't even bother hiding their lack of trust in the Maquis, and he wanted to know why.
Janeway stopped and she turned around, a quizzical look flashing over her features. "I believe it was made clear to you at the meeting," she said.
"I know, but I think you've forgotten something important," Chakotay picked up the water bottle and gratefully took a generous swig before he spoke again while he took a moment to collect his thoughts, "I've been let down as well. How do you think I reacted when Suder murdered Darwin just because Darwin gave him a funny look? How do you think I felt when Seska showed off her true colours? You keep seeming to miss the fact they hurt me as well; I thought I knew Seska, and I didn't know Suder was going to commit murders on the ship. If I'd known what they were going to do, do you really think I'd have allowed it?"
Janeway didn't say a thing about Seska or Suder, and it said a great deal to Chakotay. In his mind the bitch in front of him had believed he wouldn't have done a thing, turning a blind eye. "It's not just Suder or Seska now, is it, Commander?" She asked, putting special emphasis on his rank which he didn't like; to some, it would sound like a reprimand, from her to him it was to say she didn't want him as her first officer and she wouldn't have even let him take over Cavitt's office and role in the running of the ship if she could help it.
In fact, if so many of the crew hadn't been killed by the Caretaker, and the Maquis hadn't lost their own ship, Janeway would never have allowed for the Maquis to join the crew.
He didn't care. He hadn't even wanted to put that damn uniform on in the first place. "Now its Michael Jonas, who passed on information to the Kazon Nistrim! Who knows what they've gleaned from the ship? He had enough time to tell them how our engines and weapons work, never mind the replicators!"
As much as he'd have liked to argue with her, Chakotay knew she had a point. Jonas had been on the engineering crew and he had access to the schematics to the ship and even files on Federation science and technology that bunch of miserable scavengers did not have available to them.
"You think I don't know that? You think I don't know what that bunch could have; with Seska's help, the Kazon might be on the way to cracking Federation technology, but you could have told me. I know the Maquis on this ship-," Chakotay began quietly but now he was speaking loudly and passionately.
But Janeway wasn't to be outdone. She knew precisely what to say to him in order to inflict pain. "Not very well, if people like Seska and Jonas got into your group, " she sneered.
Oh, that was low. Even for her.
"Can you vouch for every member of your own crew, Captain? No, you can't. You're just like me, just like Kirk, Picard, and Sisko, and so many other Starfleet captains who've had members of their own crew betray their oath to Starfleet. You're just lucky because it hasn't happened to you yet, you haven't placed all of your trust in them, only for one of them to take the law into their own hands. But let me tell you something, and I hope you listen to this advice," Chakotay stopped for a moment to see if she was listening to him for once, and to his delight, she was, "it's beyond painful. You placed your trust into their hands, and they threw it back into not just your face, but in the faces of everyone they'd worked with. Seska's betrayal hurt us the most; she was seen as one of us and the fact she appeared Bajoran gave her a credibility since the Bajoran Occupation. You know of that, yes, the sixty-year long hell the Cardassians placed on the Bajorans which involved slavery and genocide because the Cardassians felt justified doing because they were the ones doing it, the same people the Federation's so happy to have an alliance with even when some of them are aware the Cardassians will stab them in the back given the chance? And all that time I thought she was a Bajoran, only to find she was one of them.
"Ask B'elanna how it felt, Captain when she discovered the truth. I can tell you it hurts her now, and now Jonas has shown he didn't give a damn about all that, well I can guarantee she hates it even more," Chakotay picked up his things and he walked away from Janeway, just wanting to be left to his own devices so he could return to his quarters and have a short but brisk sonic shower, "Computer, save program and finish."
As the holodeck shut down and saved the program, Chakotay just walked out of the room without once giving a thought about Janeway's thoughts or even the stupid protocol she clung to and preached like a very bad religion, and he didn't care if she lashed out at him for leaving without being dismissed; that was the problem with so many of Starfleet's higher-ups from captains to flag officers, they were so sure when they were dominating the scene, nobody could or should do anything without their say so. Janeway was sadly one of them. She hadn't realised growing up surrounded by officers not everything had to be done the Starfleet way. Well, if she hadn't realised it then, she likely never would.
Chakotay needed to get out of there, knowing full no that no matter what he did or even what took place, he and his Maquis cell would never be accepted by the Starfleet crew barring one or two exceptions.
The strange thing was it was fine by him. Hopefully sooner or later, Voyager would be home, that way he and his crew could go their own ways and never see their Voyager shipmates again. Now that was something worth striving for.