We headed south, toward the highway. Autriel and Gusoyn got along fairly well. The former didn't like being called lizard, while the latter didn't like being called a dog. They were in no way small people. Autriel kept her wings tucked in when she was inside, while Gusoyn didn't flick her tail everywhere. Autriel preferred to sleep on the roof, Gusoyn wanted to curl up on the rug or a couch. It was all about compromise. Stops every three hours of travel were necessary.

The personalities of Autriel and Gusoyn manifested in their territorial claims. The hellhound the interior when we weren't moving and the passenger seat when we were. The speed at which we moved seemed to astonish her and she demanded the window be rolled down so she could stick her head out of it.

The dragon preferred the highest ground, regardless if there was a roof over it. I tied(eventually bolted) a beach chair to the roof and she seemed content to be there. If bored or forced due to inclimate weather, she would climb down(ruining the paint with her claws) and get in through the side door. She did this regardless if the vehicle was in motion or not. That door didn't lock after the first two times this happened.

Now that things had relatively calmed down(only one snake-thing had to be scared off), I figured out how to connect my phone to the radio and started playing music. There was a mixed reaction. Autriel came inside to investigate(that was the time the lock broke). Gusoyn responded by leaping over the headrest, running a lap around the table, and eventually attacking it with her teeth, all the while screaming, "Where is it coming from?! I don't know where it's coming from!" I gave a crash course on modern music and the magical things that made the noise. Gusoyn released the table and calmed down, eventually coming to accept it. Autriel was indifferent at first, but sometimes would peek her head into the driver's window(terrifying the first few times) and make a request. They mostly went along the lines of, "Play that one you played an hour ago that went 'lah de dah doo dah'." We ended the day by stopping outside a university town and would decide tomorrow to go around or go through. Despite both riders claiming to have excellent navigational skills, neither were capable of handling the map without tearing it in multiple places. The GPS on my phone isn't very helpful if there's no cell service. My carrier didn't cover the southern half of the state. Autriel's survey flights were helpful, but she was having a rough time describing things. "These crossing black roads with dots in the middle" and the "crude metal bird sculptures". I noticed she was one of those people who talked with her hands. I wondered if she could speak if we tied her hands together, assuming we could find rope to actually hold her.

Gusoyn was interesting to be around. Despite her… moody attitude and resistance against a command, I got along with her. To keep myself in shape(and sane), I would jog or walk every morning(but in this case, afternoon). Gusoyn joined, keeping pace. Normally, I would stay on roads, but she insisted on performing a territorial sweep, private property be damned. I didn't care, so I went along. She would always keep pace with me and would never stray outside of eyesight. I wanted to call them walks. I really did, but if I explained the context to her, she'd probably bite me, so I just called them "patrols." She took satisfaction in doing them.

The sense of comradery was unexpected during those times. Everything just sort of worked out and I didn't want to rock the boat. Tension was high, but it didn't break. During one of our "patrols", Gusoyn said she smelled something funny. I followed out of curiosity and we came to a roadside diner. No one was there. I followed her sniffing around back and we came upon a locked back door. That didn't stop her. It didn't for her to get through hollow metal door. She threw it aside and yelled, "This is almost worse than the fumes of human alchemy! What did they cook in this place?". She jumped inside and I stopped dead in my tracks because I started smelling it, too. It was gas. Someone must have run in a panic and left it on.

I tried to scream "Stop!" as loud as I could, but it was too late. The very nature of a hellhound was heat and just the sparks of her claws on tile could have set it off. The entire kitchen area became an inferno with a deafening "FWOOM". Every part of exposed skin on my body burned and my eyes immediately dried. The pressure wave threw me backward. As the fireball subsided a little, I could hear Gusoyn laughing, "Ha! Nice fire trap, b-", before she immediately stopped speaking. She stood there, holding her hands onto her throat and turned to me with a look of panic on her face.

The fireball was nothing, yes, but it had consumed all of the oxygen in the area. It doesn't matter how tough you are, everyone needs to breathe. She passed out, so I ran inside and dragged her out. She was out cold, so I just propped her against the brick wall. At first I was worried, but a poke from a stick in the stomach and a groggy growl from her told me she was just snoozing.

She was actually fairly tranquil asleep. Her eyes no longer gave off flame, just smoke. I just sat and enjoyed the forest view. That and the view of Gusoyn when she wasn't aware of me looking at her.

Big question here: What's the line between "Hey, that's exotic and hot" and "You disturbing deviant. Die in a ditch"? Similar to Autriel, her torso, head, and upper half of her legs were human. Only exception was the charcoal black skin and ears on her head. Out of curiosity, I checked the side of her head and there were no human ears. Slightly unnerving, but it made sense. Oh yeah, almost forgot the tail, but that's kind of assumed. I also noticed that it wasn't her eyebrows, but her eyes themselves that gave off fire.

I had convinced her to wear a shirt, but she wanted to wear the shredded polo of the sheep farm owner as a trophy. A hellhound in a neckless turtleneck was a match made in… I guess hell. Eventually, she woke up with a start. Her eyes re-ignited and she stared at me. I said with a grin, "Dumbass. For somebody who hangs around fire so much, you should know how it works." She narrowed her eyes.

"Did y-"

"Nope"

"How lo-"

"Half an hour."

"If you lie, I swear I will gut-"

"I dragged you out here and have done nothing, but sit and pick at my scabs this entire time. I would've tried to carry you back, but I think I've done enough to your pride as-is."

She woozily got up and we returned to the RV. Autriel asked what took us so long from the roof. I summarized, said I had to go to the restroom, and ran off. Autriel waited until I was gone, and then chuckled.

Gusoyn snarled, "What are you laughing at?"

The smug dragon giggled again, "Oh you know, fate works in mysterious ways."

And it's funny?

It's hilarious. It's hilarious to see how people react to the same thing I've gone through and take completely different outlooks on it.

At least I didn't take one swing to bring down. Richard told me you vomited all over the floor.

Such is the price of flight. While I am armored, my bones are lighter than most land animals'. Personally, I call foul and think it's something else. Normally steel doesn't harm me. However, the same problem applies to you. But, that is not what I was talking about. I'm talking about the piece of you that's been "lost." It seems to be troubling you greatly.

I don't remember telling you.

You didn't, but I was there when it was said.

Kind of underhanded from someone as prideful as you.

I'll admit, we are a very high-and-mighty species, but we are also very observant. Being at the top means you're always being watched. An ex-pack leader like yourself should know that.

If you know something's missing, then mind coming down off that metal box on wheels and telling me what it is?

I could. I could, but I think it'll be more fun to ask you a more pointed question. He's already humiliated you already. Why haven't you had your way with him as revenge?

I'm not stupid. I know that the instinct's gone. I feel hollow.

Then why are you still here? Why are you following him? What is your motive?

I might not understand it, but I think he still has it. I don't know why you're so smug. We both know what happens to dragons when they never get some. No amount of broken knees is going to fix that.

I'm not worried. I have plenty of time, as do you. You seem distressed to have lost something I've considered a burden my entire life. If you don't understand the amount of control that's just been bestowed upon you, then you have my pity.

Don't even think about sending me your sympathies. You're awfully confident in yourself after revealing something very delicate you value.

Careful there, hound. Whether he knows it or not, I owe him for releasing me from almost two decades of suffering. I'll tolerate the play fighting, the harassment, even the emotional outbursts, but you know what happens to those who damage the horde of a dragon. You may think you've lost everything, but I told you I was observant. With enough patience, I will find something.

Hey! A threat! I was worried you'd stay passionless forever.

I could say the opposite is true for you.

Maybe, but I didn't ask to change. I just embraced it and accepted myself. From the way you said it, you were practically begging to be let out. Even when not instinctively pushed to it, I'm still disappointed. This human male descends from on high, frees you from a "hormonal prison", and you do absolutely nothing to thank him for it. You barely respond! If anyone's scared, it's you. I can smell it. You're afraid it'll come back just as easily as it left and shatter your fragile little situation.

This is true. I will not lie, but unlike you, I can recognize some positive character development when it comes my way. He doesn't know the depth of what he's unintentionally done. One day, I will thank him, but now is not the time.

Coward.

If this conversation is going to devolve to name-calling, I'll get out now. I suggest making peace with yourself, because we've got a long journey ahead of ourselves.

When I got back, the sun was dropping below the horizon. I said I was going to bed, and suggested everyone else do the same because we'd be going through the town to the east as early as we could. Inside, I asked Gusoyn about where she came from. She said the demon realm. I asked what was in it and she said that's where the demons were. I said, "Wait, you mean Hell?" She said, "No, the demon realm. Where's Hell?" I was confused. "Hell's where the demons are. Aren't you a HELLhound?" She looked surprised, "Of course I am, but the demon realm's where the monsters and demons are." I was getting frustrated at this, "No shit, but isn't that Hell? Do you even have an underworld?" Gusoyn was getting confused at why I wasn't getting it, "We have an underworld. I've been there. Lots of fire, lava, and demons." Desperate, I said, "But that's Hell." Autriel chimed in from above, "This isn't going anywhere."

We all turned in. I took the couch, Gusoyn took the rug, Autriel took the roof. I went to lock the door but realized that, 1: It might rain tonight and Autriel would want to get in, and 2: The lock was broken anyway.

I turned off the lights and considered the events so far. They were too ridiculous to believe, but undeniable. I'm not culturally unaware, but I had an idea of where these two came from. Once I got back into internet service, I'd check to be sure. The idea of that created a cascade of theories. If they were previously fictional creatures created by humanity, then that further reinforced the idea that I must be going insane and made all of this myself. I didn't feel crazy, but there couldn't be another explanation. Whatever the case, I'd try to test this possible "simulation" as much as I could. Coming to that conclusion, I went to sleep.

I woke again to muffled speech somewhere inside the RV. I stayed perfectly still on my back and looked around in the darkness. Two yellow-orange pilot lights stared at me a few feet off the ground and I heard the slow tearing of fabric. The muttering continued and I was getting flashbacks of the first night with Autriel in the tower. Does all monstergirl sanity go out the window when the sun sets? Oh wait, they didn't have any in the first place.

The moon came out of the clouds and shone through the window above my head. Yep, Gusoyn had taken off the shirt I gave her and was tearing at it with her hands and teeth. Only thing she had on under it were the "armor plates" I found all the hellhounds with, but it didn't leave much for the imagination. What's the point in making metal armor if it's only job is to protect the modesty of the wearer? It didn't even do that well and they didn't look like blacksmiths to me.

I was going off on a tangent to try and distract myself from the terror, but when the light hit Gusoyn, she gave a great tug and ripped the shirt in three. She pounced forward and yelled, "Give it back!" I was still paralyzed.

She crouched on top of me, and said in desperation, "I know you have it. Give it!" She pointed a razor-sharp claw at my eyeball.

I had nothing. A combination of being ambushed in the middle of the night and being ambushed in the middle of the night(in a different way) left me able to make only confused choking noises. She stared at me dead in the eye and blankly said, "You don't have it. Even if you did you don't know what it is." She sat down on top of the blanket in defeat, the depth of loss finally coming to her.

A definition:

Ass Overload: A medical condition resulting in temporary loss of higher cognitive function caused by experiencing an inconceivable amount of ass. (See also: D'Carlo Watkins)

In one final act of desperation she burst into a flurry of blows against my chest, all the while yelling, "Why not?! You've got to have it! Where'd you hide it?!" When the fury was spent, nothing was left. Her eye fire reduced to just smoke and she fell forward in defeat onto me. I had unintentionally hurt someone more than I ever thought I could without understanding how or why. I felt horrible guilt and had no idea what to do. Almost instinctively, I lifted one arm up and began scratching her head and behind her ears(which, don't forget, were on top of her head). She whispered, half asleep, "It's not fair. It's never fair."

Hellhound tears smell like sulfur.

The next morning, Gusoyn was gone. The shredded shirt was, too. I got dressed and went outside to wake Autriel. Of course, she was already up and was missing her crutch. I congratulated her on losing it and asked, "Yo. Where's Gusoyn?" Autriel replied, "She went off on her 'patrol' fairly early this morning. Surprising she didn't wait for you. That reminds me for whatever reason: When we get into town, would you acquire another shirt for me? I'm sick of burlap. I'm thinking… hmmmm… maybe red? Yes, red will go well with green." I snorted, "Yeah, you'd be the Christmas dragon." She gave a confused look, "Christmas?" I said, "Wintertime holiday of ours. Red and green's the color theme." She seemed happy with this, "Delightful. Well, remind me when it occurs. I would be more than happy to celebrate it with you. Back to the original subject, she should be back in about an hour. I'm sure she has a lot on her mind if she went alone."

I gave her a suspecting look. Autriel had a smug expression on her face, "If something happens and I'm not aware of it, you should worry." Later on, I introduced her to microwave popcorn and made some discoveries. She couldn't use touchscreens and when she pulled the inflated bag out of the oven, she held it from the bottom. I immediately said, "Don't grab it from there!", but she just asked, "Why? Will it break?", completely oblivious to the burning oil in the bag.

Afterward, she got a few kernels in her teeth. As funny as it was, she was getting more and more agitated the longer it took to get rid of them. Eventually, she just drank a mouthful of water straight from the tap, ran outside, made a face of intense concentration, then blasted out a cloud of steam from her mouth. She turned and smiled at me with shiny white chompers. In the future, I like to confuse dentists by telling them one of my friends gets her teeth steam-cleaned.

An hour later, Gus returned and privately apologized for the shirt. I said while I wasn't any sort of therapist, I'd be more than happy to help her through anything she's going through. She said it was just something she'd have to sort out herself and we headed out on that note.

We entered the town through the commercial area. The entire place was abandoned. Power was still on in most places, but the lack of people made it very eerie. I told Autriel to come inside the RV in case a human decided to take a potshot at her. Buildings and infrastructure hadn't been damaged much. There was the occasional burned down building, sinkhole, or destroyed car. We noticed a downed power line with the remains of...something near it. It looked like something decided to take a swipe at the wire and was immediately converted into a large pile of charcoal.

As we cruised our way under an overpass, we noticed a gigantic pile of rubble near an academic-looking building. The mount of earth, concrete, and rocks was nearly the size of a house. At first, I wondered if the light was messing with me, but then I realized that the inside and outside of the building was in constant motion. The closer I got, the more I could look in the windows and realized that it was teeming with "ants". I put ants in quotes because their top half was human, but their bottom half was an ant. Like a big ant-taur. They were absolutely everywhere on the property.

It was an easily distracted person's nightmare. None of them were ordering others around and they all were doing something. Two easily lifted a sedan and carried it off to do who-knew-what with it. Most of them were busy tearing up the parking lot asphalt and also carrying it off. Some were using tools, but the rest were just using their bare hands. Terrifying to watch someone cup her hands like a shovel, plunge them into a road, rip out a chunk like it was straw, and then whistle while she worked. They were all whistling the same tune. It resonated in my head.

I had no idea what the end goal of their project was, but they were making an inhuman amount of progress toward it. I drove by without slowing down and wondered at the amount of miracles that had to have happened for me to just have survived.

But, I finally saw signs of humanity in the form of...well, signs. Plywood boards were spray painted with arrows and messages and were propped up in intersections. They advertised the stadium to be a safe place and to "pls trade!". It was easy to find and I told Gusoyn and Autriel to separate from me for a bit, so they didn't think the monsters had learned to drive. I parked the RV perpendicular to the parking spot lines because the cops had worse things to deal with. Armed with the shotgun and a sack of items I could part with, I exited the vehicle and approached the three guards. The first had an M14 rifle, the second a hunting rifle, and the third carried no gun, but the string of pipe bombs around their belt made them just as dangerous as the others.

I called out to them, "Finally! Something with all human parts!" The one with the bombs replied, "Good to see you too! Come on over." I did so and commented, "So what's in the stadium?" Pipe bomb guard spoke again, "As many people as we could fit. You aren't planning on staying here are you?" I waved dismissively, "Nah, not long. I just want to see what you got to trade."

"Trading? Great. Guierrmo's set up the start of a post on the first concession stand on the right as you walk in. He wears a Yankees cap." I asked, "If you can't fit everyone, where's everyone else?" The guard defeatedly said, "There's a few other places people have fortified, but people have scattered otherwise. They think that if they get away from everyone else, they'll be fine. Everyone knows campus though, and it's easy to defend." I thanked them for help and went to find Guillermo.

He wasn't difficult to spot because he had ripped off the concessions sign and painted "Trading Post" on the wall. He was going through a box of canned goods when he noticed me and beckoned over. There were a few people around and I heard more. "Fine gun you have there, son. Willing to part with a few shells?" I flatly said no. "I actually wanted to buy some." He got irritated, "Ammo? We're a university town, not a damn army base. All of the weaponry comes from farmers running into town and whatever the chemistry kids can cook up."

"Sorry." I looked confusedly at the crate of rifles and .22 ammo and asked, "Then what's with all of this?" Guillermo looked over and said, "Oh, yeah. We started giving those to civilians a while ago. See, .22's still pretty dangerous, but just one only pisses a monster off. Lot of 'em have real tough hides. The shock of the bullet if you hit is enough to scare 'em, but none of the guards'll use one. They're quieter than most and attract less attention, so we give em to everyone else for personal defense. Monsters'll get used to them soon, and then we'll have a problem." I asked another question, "Then why not make some melee weapons for when that happens? I managed to fend off two of them with just a baseball bat."

The trader looked at me like I was insane. "How are we supposed to fight things when some of them can break our limbs in one good swing? They move faster than we can blink! Imagine if they were actually trying to kill us! If you're gonna lie to me, do something believable." I shrugged. "Maybe I got lucky." He sighed and said, "Fine, keep your story."

I changed the subject, "So what about the military and shit? Isn't the army gonna come and protect us?" Guierrmo glanced from inside the box of soup cans, "You know, you'd think that. They did send one of their survey drone planes above us yesterday. You know, the ones with the big nose. Not going to expect an organized response from the army until they secure the big cities. I heard a rumor that some 'advisors' are gonna come in a day or so and organize us. Some actual combat and firing discipline would be nice. Most of the reserves are probably going to go to the capital. A lot of people are fleeing there. Are you?" He pulled out a can of chicken noodle and muttered, "Ugh. I hate celery."

I replied, "Nah, we'll just buzz around it. We've got enough supplies and gas to skip it entirely." Guierrmo pointed to me with a can of tomato base, "You hold on to your fuel, friend. It's getting really valuable really quickly. Everyone's filling up their generator for the long haul and you might be thinking about nabbing yourself a few extra jerry cans." I said, "Sure. Hey, what's everybody's thoughts on all this? Their morale." He paused for a second and said, "Honest, but happy. People are taking it pretty seriously, but they're happy for the moment that we haven't been wiped out within a day."

I traded some food for clothing, a basic toolbox, and some empty jerry cans. Goodbyes were said and he wished me happy trails. On my way out, I heard a conversation from the guards. The one with the IED's asked, "You know what would be nice?" The guard with the M14 was clearly annoyed. "All right, indulge me Kieth. What would be really nice in the apocalypse?" Bomb guard wistfully said, "A shower."

As I was walking back, I heard the sound of metal dragging on concrete, so I jumped inside a small apartment building. The door was fortunately unlocked. Power was out. Still hearing the dragging, I quickly ascended the stairs to the second floor. Being as stealthy as possible, I entered a room and crept across to a glass door. Outside was a balcony that overlooked the street below. The balcony itself had a granite wall coming up to waist height if I was standing up. Slowly opening the door, I heard the dragging right below me. I also heard a disturbing amount of giggling. I peeked over the side.

It looked like some crackhead wielding a terrifying-looking sword. She was swinging the thing around and whacking whatever came into range. Mailboxes, bushes, lawn sprinklers, grass; She tried slicing anything that came into arm's reach, like a child with a stick. Except, the stick was a demonic, black and red blade with an eyeball at the rain guard. Her clothes were tattered, as if she was some homeless person who had stumbled upon an infernal relic.

Weird thing was, she wasn't holding the sword. It was a part of her left arm. The same material as the blade had spread up her limb to her shoulder and then up her neck, as if it was some kind of kind of fungus or cancerous growth. Instead flesh or plant matter, it was this black and reflective, like obsidian. Also similar to obsidian, it wasn't flat or smooth at all, and frequently came into points. Since she wasn't looking in my direction, I figured this was the perfect opportunity to kill something that looked like it belonged in The Shining.

But I fumbled. As I started to put shells in the breech of the shotgun, I dropped one on the floor. To me, it was the equivalent of an entire orchestra blasting out as hard as they could. The monster whipped around, looked me right in the eye, and leapt off the road, out of my sight. In a nonexistent, but deafening voice, the universe declared to me, "You have fucked up now."

Time to hold position and listen. I looked through the window back into the room, which I just noticed was a living room with a pretty sweet TV in it. I heard a window shattering downstairs. It was inside. I heard the thumping of barefoot steps downstairs. It wasn't moving much because it was also listening. It was listening for me to try and escape. I heard also wood breaking; Probably a door. Then, there was this period of dead silence.

From what I'm told, combat(especially indoor) is like this. Long stretches of boredom followed by periods of absolute terror and panic. I was so anxious, I was nauseous. Being hunted is one of the worst feelings in existence. Then, horrible luck hit me. When I opened the door, I carefully closed it behind me, but it didn't latch. A small gust of wind made the latch bolt think this was a great time to suddenly secure itself. It made a clicking noise, followed by the door nudging itself back into the frame. Pretty sure I pissed myself. I held my breath, and hoped the monster would dismiss it as the wind. I heard… a moan? Oh no. Rapid movement up the stairs.

thumpthumpthumpthumpTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP

The door to the room exploded into splinters and I briefly froze in terror. Why was it smiling? How could it be happy? It got halfway across the room with the characteristically unnatural speed before I put a shell of buckshot in her stomach through the window. It's muscles locked up enough for her to only slam into the door. The glass shattered, but it got up quickly and began another charge toward me. I put the second shell between it's collarbones. That punched a hole through it disgustingly and it was pushed against the wall. With a moan, it slumped downwards and didn't move again.

Nothing happened for a solid thirty seconds. I was pretty sure it was dead, but another thirty couldn't hurt. After that, I carefully approached the corpse. The entire left arm was covered in the black carapace. Some of the neck and left torso were also covered. Upon closer inspection, she still looked like some meth addict and smelled like cigarettes and cat piss.

Where the armor covered hadn't been penetrated by the pellets. It was cracked and I could see the shot inside, but this was a seriously tough material. The sword itself looked stereotypically evil, what with the black and red color scheme and the big red eye in the middle. I swear it was looking at me.

I wondered if I could somehow remove the sword or at least get it off the possessed person. Putting the gun away(but still within arm's reach), I reached for it. Maybe I could take it and lock it away somewhere so nobody would find it again. Burying it in the woods would be a good idea. Completely ignoring the lessons of Boromir and Jumanji, I grabbed the cross guards and tugged.

The carapace broke like it was made from crackers and the sword came off ridiculously easy. Instantly, visions of violence and conquest filled my head. Prophecies of power, wealth, and charisma beckoned. With this weapon, I would convert everyone around into slaves and dominate as far as I could see. My strength would be incalculable and my will limitless. All I had to do was to follow the sword.

But that's just stupid. Who wants all that kind of power? Sound like a gigantic headache to me. I shook the blade and said, "Cut that shit out."

There was a brief pause and then it spoke to me. It didn't actually use words. It just sent meaning directly to my head. I felt like a very important layer of privacy had been stripped away, as if it answered my questions before I knew I had them. It congratulated me on the quick defeat of it's previous host. I asked out loud, "Can you read my mind?" It returned a conditional affirmative. What the limitations were, I don't know. I asked another question that I'd been meaning to ask the others, "What am I to you?" I was the scabbard, the wielder, the host, and the means to an endless end. A temporary source of energy and entertainment, wrapped into a convenient mobile package, at least until it found another host. Apparently, the host and the object being drained of energy were two different things. Currently, I had the most potential for violence that it could detect, so it chose me. One last question, "Are you just some oversized, evil-looking blade?" It claimed to be a blade that cut not only matter, but soul. It could slice either or both at the same time, at will. The "cutting of the soul" made me think of some kind of energy drain. Speaking of, I was getting kind of hungry. I wondered if the blade had to eat anything.

It replied with a hissing voice, "I prefer the souls of the innocent."

I got up and started for the door, "How 'bout a bagel?"

*psychic white noise*

"How about two bagels?"

I got in the RV and drove back to where the girls and I separated. They seemed very nervous at first, until they saw the demonic longsword sitting in the sink, then they just got mad. How could I have been foolish enough to fight a mind-controlling monster by myself, pick it up, speak to it, and then bring it back into the house? I said it was fine and I don't think it's possessed me yet. I brought it back so it didn't dominate and then try to kill anyone else. I figured we'd bury it on the side of the road or something. They chewed me out some more and then I said while I respected their concerns, I don't think we're in any danger. The blade sent a broadcast that it would do it's best to prevent harm from coming to me. It would possess and then enslave any intruder that came our way. I wasn't worried about bandits, though. Because of the other two monsters, I hadn't spotted the slightest hint of wildlife. Not that I knew how to clean an animal anyway. We drove another forty minutes, dodging a few still cars until we got to the outskirts of a much larger city. I could see the smoke of a few burning buildings.

Just outside I realized something: I felt terrible. My head was under pressure, my nose was clogged, and I could decide if I felt like sweating or freezing. It was a fact I had to recognize. The stress and moving around had finally gotten to me and I was sick. I pulled over into the parking lot of a hotel, propped a pillow on the arm of a couch, and layed down. I waited for Autriel to come inside, and she did a few seconds later. Gusoyn curiously peeked over the headrest of the passenger seat.

I declared, "Everyone. Autriel, Gus, ...Sword. I'm sick. I don't wanna endanger everyone by driving like this, so for the time being we're staying put. Sorry 'bout this." The sword said that its name was whatever I said it was. I only had to grab it for a bit and it would heal me if I gave over bodily functions. I adamantly said no, got up, and rummaged through the toiletries bag. What I was looking for wasn't there. "Ugh, dammit. Knew I forgot to ask him for some." The other two monsters immediately began accusing Sword of causing this.

Gusoyn was curious, "What are you looking for?" I sniffed and said, "It's this liquid medicine. A particular name. I forgot to get it, but didn't think I'd need it." Then, Autriel got an idea. A horrible, but well-meaning idea. She suggested that the healthy ones go out and find this medicine. I admitted I knew where it would be, and asked for a piece of paper and pencil. I drew out the logos of a few chain grocery stores and drew what a bottle of the stuff looked like.

I said, "All of those stores have some kind of back door. Disguise yourself, bring Sword to read the mind of somebody, get their information, head around back, wait for a worker to use the door for a break or to take out the trash, quietly knock 'em out, prop the door open, steal what you need, then go out the same way. Do you want me to write this down?"

Autriel said with confidence, "It is a simple task. Theft is usually beneath me, but this sounds thrilling and I'm sure we'll be back soon enough. How hard can it be?" I replied, "Don't kill anybody. If you do, don't tell me."

The following is my best guess at just what happened in that store. None of them are pathological liars, but they'd stretch the truth without a doubt.

It started out like it was supposed to. Autriel spotted a store after flying high and Gusoyn carried Sword. Ten minutes into the walk and it started to rain. Forty into it and they'd entered the human protected area. While it was modern times, the group still recognized militaries when they saw them. Autriel flew to the top of a tall building and spotted where they needed to be, while avoiding the sniper in an apartment building a block away. They had to bypass a few checkpoints, but otherwise found their way to their destination. They found two humans walking away from everyone else, mugged them, and took their ponchos. Autriel had difficulty because her tail stuck out, her hand/claws barely fit in the sleeve, and having her wings under nylon gave her claustrophobia. Gusoyn accidentally tore her sleeves, but fit into her's fine. For the both of them, the legs, arms, and glowing eyes(basically every part that the poncho didn't cover) were dead giveaways. Ignoring this and considering themselves masters of disguise, they moved on, also wielding an oversized, demonic sword.

They found a store matching the damp drawing's description and scouted it out. They noticed one customer, a young woman with a baby carrier at the outside of the parking lot. She was heading toward the store and the three monsters figured this was a good target. Darting between car to car as best their sizes could manage, they grabbed her behind a van, away from the sight of the guards at the front of the door. Gusoyn put a paw over her mouth and placed the sword in her hand. The woman went rigid for a moment, then relaxed and gestured. Sword had control. She was a regular shopper here and knew where everything was. "Now", she said, "Let's drop the baby and find the back door."

Autriel said, "Wait, we can't leave this baby here. Human babies are fragile. If we leave it out in the rain here, it'll die." Gusoyn looked over, "Don't tell me you care about it." Autriel threw up her hands, "I'm not saying I do. Richard said not to kill anybody." Gusoyn countered, "We're not killing anything. It's its own fault that it dies if you leave it in the rain for too long. She was annoyed at this point, "I'm not going to argue this here. Sword, decide for us." Sword got up, "Since I'm the mother of it, leaving it to die would cause a lot of mental instability and it's harder to get control when she's actively fighting me. We can always give it to Richard and he can dump it somewhere. Also, call me Ruth. New name." Everyone agreed, at least to the first request. The carrier had a roof, so the baby wasn't getting directly rained on. The group snuck around to the guardless back door. They were fast enough to get away from the front guards investigating the mother's disappearance.

They waited for someone to come by and sure enough, the old man with the garbage can never saw it coming. Using his body as a doorstop, they moved in. Autriel volunteered to guard the door and infant, since her disguise was the weakest. When they realized Ruth couldn't drop the sword, they used, to her relief, Autriel's poncho to cover it. Grabbing the cold syrup was actually fairly uneventful, since most other people were keeping their eyes on the main door and everyone was already in jackets. Delilah only had to stop once to put Gusoyn's tail away and the hellhound made sure not to look at anyone.

I'm pausing here for a second because Ruth heard some people talking in the isle next to her. Word travels surprisingly fast. Since monster attacks weren't organized and usually individual, they'd avoided major population centers. It was unknown if monster numbers were increasing, since it had been only a few days, but there was one group that stuck out. The speaker described them as a "gang of black marauders, with fiery eyes, tearing down the highway in an eighteen-wheeler, and pillaging every farm and town they came across". They used guns, swords, and spoke weird. Thing was, they were looking for(enslaving) members into their crew with promises of "findin' th' cap'n again" and "plunderin' erry town 'til we be east as he." Their name was unknown.

In other news, and based on what Ruth told me, humanity was having a difficult time understanding monsters' goals. Because of popular culture, people were generally ready for the mindless hordes, not intelligent elite units. Casualty rates were lower than expected, since the vast majority(if not all) of the invaders' goal was kidnapping, not killing. Despite their power, they were targeting low population areas. A monster would grab one human, and then would never be seen again. Humans had figured this out pretty quickly and were instinctively clustering together as much as possible for protection. One thing that confused everyone was that the monsters weren't coming from any one place. Nobody reported seeing one appear yet, but they were coming from wilderness areas. Humanity's technological advantage confused them for now, but they would learn, and quickly.

The trip back to the rear of the store was when things started to go off the rails. Gusoyn smelled something and dragged Ruth into the meat department. Meanwhile, some poor stocker boy rounded the corner with a float full of empty cardboard boxes. Obviously, Autriel heard him coming long before and ambushed him when he got farther into the room. She pushed him down with one shove, putting her foot where his head would land on the concrete(so he didn't die). She pinned him, putting her other foot (Keep in mind, her "foot" would go by "claw" in most circles) on his stomach and her right claw over his mouth. She snorted smoke into his panicked face and brought out a digit of her left claw, a tool used to easily slice through steel, and pointed it toward his face. "Nothing personal kid, but I have some venting to do right now. You're going to have to bear with me."

Normally, this would be caught on camera and armed people would go investigate, but the woman watching the cameras was busy looking at the destruction in the parking lot. An ogre, but not the more popular kind(the one with layers) was having a great time hurling vehicles toward the store. First a moped and then a convertible crashed through the front doors as the guards dove for cover. The ogre herself seemed to have figured out human weaponry and used cover as well. Unknown to the infiltrating monsters, everyone unarmed was running to the emergency exits in the back of the store.

Gusoyn and Ruth exited the meat department with the hellhound carrying a commercial trash bag full of cold cuts. They met Autriel as she was finishing up. "I thought the commotion was something you did. Aren't you worried about all the screaming?" Gusoyn shrugged, "Don't know. Don't care. Wasn't me." Ruth said, "Let's go." Gusoyn looked at the man on the cement floor, "Why is he n-" Autriel interrupted, "I had to keep him quiet and relieve some stress." Suddenly, they heard the "employees only" doors being burst open and the screams of the panicked civilians became full volume. Ruth repeated louder, "Let's go!". Hearing the crowd closing, Autriel blew a warning cone of flame, to make sure her group wasn't seen when the people rounded the corner.

The first few blocks were touchy, but once they got out of the controlled zone, it became much easier. The return trip was uneventful. As they walked in with their loot, I asked, "Did you get what I actually asked for?" Ruth tossed me the bottle. "Sweet! Thanks. Also congrats on your new form." I noticed the baby carrier and wheezed. In a pained whisper, I begged the question, "Why?" Ruth shrugged, "It's the first one we found. The small thing came with." I knew a little about baby care, since I had a few cousins, nieces, and nephews. But we were absolutely unequipped to deal with him. Whatever, I'll deal with it later. Gusoyn came in the doorway with an obnoxious amount of meat. Again, I asked, "Why?" She thought for a moment, then said, "It was there. They didn't stop me." When Autriel also came in, I asked her, "Why didn't you stop her?" She started, "I honestly didn't th-", but Gusoyn interrupted her and said, "It's for the hoard." The dragon's eyes glassed over and she recited as if it were the most sensible thing in the world, "For the hoard."

Soon after, I learned that Sword had changed her name. I also learned the baby's name was Aurelio. I asked, "What's up with these Italian names?" Gusoyn smelled like wet dog and my attempts at helping her dry off were met with violence. I tossed Autriel a towel, preoccupied with trying to clean everyone up inside a confined space. She placed the towel on the couch and sat on it, smugly looking at the chaos in front of her. Aurelio reminded me he existed by coughing and I absentmindedly grabbed him and plopped him onto the other side of the couch. Autriel was not pleased, but I wasn't paying attention.

The baby wasn't what some would call a "wee baby". I.e.: A baby only a few months old, unable to walk or talk, but could crawl. The noises they make are different as well. Aurelio was probably half a year old. I have to point out that I've handled a few infants, but this guy was different. It was like holding a brick. I mean, he still had the chub, but he was also surprisingly buff. He was just sitting on the couch, very busy… being a baby I guess. He silently stared at Autriel with his hands clasped, as if sizing her up. Autriel glared back at him from the other side. Everyone knows babies stare, but she didn't seem to get this and took offense.

She grew more disgusted and asked, "What do you want?" Aurelio processed this, then gave the brilliant pickup line, "Le-fle-fle" and pointed at her. He returned his hands together and waited expectantly for a response. Autriel, somewhat sadistically, blew a puff of flame toward him. Not close enough to do any damage, but it was clearly meant to panic him. I didn't notice.

Aurelio didn't give a shit. In fact, this was the funniest thing he had ever seen. It just blew his tiny mind and he exploded into laughter. He didn't just laugh, he GUFFAWED. The whole thing was so funny that he was having trouble breathing and started beating his kneecaps, like he was about to say, "Oh, ho ho! That slaps me on the knee!"

Babies are wonderful little things because they are completely immune to even the most basic of nuances. Autriel looked at him with an increasingly softening expression. Maybe this pudgy, noisy, smelly, and moody miniature human knew something she didn't. She unexpectedly took satisfaction from making this little guy's day. As mirth filled the corner of the couch, she wondered what she could do to be happy for once.

"Nature abhors a vacuum" as the saying goes. If something is removed, something else will eventually take its place. Five we were, and five we remained for some time.