"This could be bad." Johnny said in between giving directions. Roy nodded, paying more attention to the red light he was about to drive through. "Clear right." Johnny added, referring to traffic on his side of the squad.
"Thanks." Roy said, otherwise remaining silent.
"Traffic's starting to build up ahead, I hope police blocked off the scene." Johnny stated, wondering about the current scene safety of their car accident up ahead.
The engine pulled up and parked behind them, blocking traffic and turning their scene lights on, illuminating the dark road. John got out and surveyed the car in question, seeing what kind of damage there was. The four door sedan was wedged in a sunken crosswalk between two curbs. Surprisingly, there were no airbags, but the front windshield was cracked. "Hey Vince, what's the story?" Johnny asked, spotting their favorite police officer standing at the trunk of the car.
"Apparently the car went straight for the curb." he said, "It jumped the first one curb then came to a dead stop at this one." He pointed at the curb the front of the car was now molded against. "The lady over there saw the whole thing." he pointed at a rather shaken looking lady.
"Where's the driver?" Roy asked when he met up with the two, his hands full of medical equipment. Johnny peered through the rear window, looking for a driver.
"Well, that's the thing." Vince said, "The witness said he ran off that way." He pointed down the road. The medics looked unbelievably down the dark road in that direction. "That's not all-," he said, but before he could finish, Chet walked up to the trio.
"Your patient missing a pair of these?" Chet said mischievously. He held a pair of pants in his gloved hands. "Found 'em in the driver's seat."
"As I was saying," Vince said, "The man took off, stripping clothes as he ran."
Johnny and Roy looked at each other unsure of what to think. "Well, I guess he doesn't have any spinal injuries." Roy finally ventured. Johnny suppressed a grin, which was difficult as Chet was walking away laughing. "Anyone found 'im?" Roy asked, attempting to remain professional.
"I have units spread out and looking, he shouldn't be too difficult to find…" Vince trailed off, smirking.
Roy finally gave up the attempt and chuckled, "Probably not."
"Anyone else injured?" John asked, looking around the scene.
"Nope, just the driver." Vince replied, looking thankful.
As they had no patient, Johnny and Roy helped the engine crew. John was sweeping under the car when he noticed something inside. "Hey Vince!" he shouted. When the police officer made it over, Johnny pointed with his gloved hand to some drug paraphernalia in the car under the seat.
"Makes sense." Vince said tiredly, "I'll be right back."
Johnny inspected it without touching, "Looks like a dipper." he said to himself. "Roy!" he called next. When Roy walked up, John said "If they ever find the guy, he's probably on a dipper." Roy looked in the direction of Johnny's hand.
"Great, grass and PCP, a fantastic combo." Johnny nodded, hoping they wouldn't have to wrestle anyone this evening.
The accident scene was cleared and now only waiting for a tow truck. There was still no word on the patient so Roy and Johnny were released. "Hope I don't see you later." Roy said pleasantly to Vince. "Or any of your coworkers." he added quickly. As Johnny closed his door to the squad, Vince's radio beeped.
"We've located the driver. Current location is approximately a mile west of the accident scene." Vince gave them a knowing look, shrugging.
"Fantastic." Roy said putting the squad into drive and contacting LA.
"Did he really run the entire way?" Roy asked incredulously as he drove the mile down the road.
"Must have, look at the trail." Johnny pointed out the various clothing items scattered in the four lane road. Roy slowed the squad down and looked out the window.
"Unbelievable." he muttered. Up ahead, police lights lit their way. What they saw was not encouraging. Johnny, at the sight, immediately requested an ambulance, if there wasn't already one on the way. The driver of the mangled car was laying on the ground. Each limb had a police officer attached to it. They were attempting to handcuff the man, who was in his birthday suit.
"This'll be fun." Johnny muttered as he statused them on scene, again. "Hey guys," he said to the cops straddling the patient's legs and arms, "What's going on?" The patient stopped struggling and looked at the new voice.
Before the police officers could answer, the patient said "Hiiiiii." His eyes were wild, his forehead cut and bleeding.
"Hi there yourself, what happened?" This time, Johnny addressed the patient.
"I'm hiiiiiigh." he said.
"I can see that." Johnny looked in exasperation at Roy. Turning to the cops he said, "Can we turn him on his back? Roy, can you get a blanket from the squad?" this time asking his partner. Roy nodded. "Do you hurt anywhere?" Johnny asked, feeling the patient's neck and back since it was already exposed.
The cops filled John in, the only thing the naked man had said was "Hiiiiiiiigh." Johnny nodded his head at the policemen and inwardly rolled his eyes at the patient. He began assessing the bleeding man. As annoyed as Johnny was, their patient was in a pretty serious car accident. From the windshield and the patient's forehead, John was pretty sure they had met, rather painfully.
The cops turned the man over, and Roy covered him appropriately. Fortunately, the patient was working with them and not fighting them. John had applied a C-collar, despite the fact the man had sprinted a mile down the road. Roy keyed up Rampart on the biophone while Johnny worked. "Rampart this is Squad 51."
"Go ahead 51." a terse Morton replied on the other end.
"They must be pretty busy." Roy told his partner, covering the mouthpiece. Roy continued, "Rampart we have an MVC victim, unknown if he was wearing a seatbelt. There was spider-webbing on the windshield, unknown loss of consciousness. Be advised, he ran approximately a mile after the accident occurred." There was silence on the other end.
"Could you repeat that 51?" Rampart asked, Morton no longer sounding strained, but interested.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
After the patient was in the hands of Rampart's capable staff, Johnny waited at the nurse's counter for Roy, who was bringing in the squad. He held a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter, attempting to compose himself after the chaos of their call. Roy finally turned the corner, Dixie following him after leaving a different treatment room. Roy and Johnny looked at each other and chuckled, now that they could do so safely. "What's so funny gentlemen?" Dixie asked when she reached the counter.
"Well, the guy we just brought in was um, memorable." Roy said, trying to find the right word.
"That's an understatement pally." Johnny said with his patented Gage grin.
"My interest is piqued." she replied, eyeing the two and waiting.
"For starters, he crashed his car and smashed his forehead against the windshield." Roy started, getting the 'boring' stuff out of the way.
"Okay..." Dixie said, not impressed and waiting for the rest of the story.
"Then, believe it or not Dix," Johnny continued, "He immediately vacated his car, and ran a mile, a mile," he added for emphasis, "Down the road." He paused for dramatic effect. "And, that's not the strangest part." he said slyly, "He was as naked as a jaybird. All police had to do to find him was follow a trail of clothes." Johnny said grinning. Dixie snickered, picturing the scene.
"After you transported, they told me how they found 'im." Roy said to Johnny with a twinkle in his eye.
"How?" Johnny asked, eager to hear. He knew that it was good based of Roy's face.
"An off-duty sheriff found the guy, well, saw him."
Johnny grimaced, "Somethings you can't unsee."
"That's not it." Roy said, saving the best part for last, dragging it out.
"Out with it already." Dixie said, fully enthralled.
"Well, our guy was running down the street, then decided to jump up on the hood of a car stopped at a red light." he paused again, eyeing them with a smirk. "The car happened to be the Sheriff's personal vehicle." he finally finished.
"Was, was he…?" Dixie asked, feeling bad for the Sheriff if he was.
"Yup, in all his shining glory." Roy said, smirking. Dixie grimaced in sympathy.
"Too bad you can't bleach out your eyes." Johnny said, laughing at the situation and wishing there was a way for the sheriff to unsee the view out his windshield.
"The poor man." Dixie said in between giggles. Yes, she was actually giggling. Roy and Johnny shared a surprised look. She asked, between giggles, "He just, he just jumped up there?" Roy nodded between chuckles, Dixie's laugh was contagious.
Joe Early walked down the hallway. He was supposed to stop into a treatment room to help Morton with some car accident patient, but decided to stop at the nurse's counter to do some investigating. He was curious about the group of giggling medical personnel. "Hey guys, Dixie." He said amicably. "How's the guy you brought in?" he asked. Johnny, Roy, and Dixie looked at each other than burst into laughter.
"All yours Dix!" Roy exclaimed. Johnny picked up the radio and the two left, waving a farewell. Their chuckles echoed in the hallway, leaving a very confused Early behind.