This was the end of a very dramatic period of turmoil within myself. Here was the point where I started to stop running. I still had many questions; some of which I would ask, and others I would either answer myself or intentionally leave alone. In this case, I felt that probing too much might ruin the magic. Best to leave that for the academics. What I needed was to simply accept a good thing that had suddenly and unexpectedly come my way.
I mean yeah, the past few days had been pretty shit, but consider the big picture here. Consider the human state as I'd observed it before everything hit the fan. I doubt it's just me, but that psychic hum-buzz that I felt before the battle was… uncomfortably familiar. It was more of a collective scream, the likes of which I could only imagine, but knew exactly what it was when magically manifested. That was because I knew I'd already been feeling it before mamano even stepped a toe on earth.
Humanity is a gifted, but ultimately lonely race. Being the only thing capable of truly observing and philosophizing itself and it's surroundings is like being a ruler without anybody to appreciate their authority. If you're inclined otherwise, then ask yourself:
Why do we pretend?
Why do we create and sing songs, not just to communicate, but simply because we enjoy it?
Why do we stay up later than is healthy writing terrible fanfiction?
Why do we wish for the absurd?
Why do we come up with mythical creatures, such as dragons and hellhounds?
Why do we desire to change the world around us into our ideal image?
Why do we burn thousands of megawatt hours screaming into the stars for "neighbors" that may be thousands of lightyears away? Simply for the satisfaction?
All we could do was scream at each other. Until now, we did so because there was nobody else. Sure, there were hints. I've seen dogs dream. I couldn't tell if that was a hint of possibility, or just made it worse that they were so close, but didn't even know it. Maybe in the future we'll learn how to make our own species that we can welcome to the world. I guess a pessimist would think that misery loves company. Maybe they're right, and all we needed was somebody to complain to. On the opposite end of the spectrum, maybe we wanted somebody to share our creations with, the same way a person sheepishly shares their shitty fanfiction with a love interest.
In the modern era with exponentially-increasing communication, this is much easier to observe than in past times. Scroll back through the literature, the media, the postings, and the ghost hunters reruns; back before all of this happened. Behind it all is a hint of a plea, almost like a footnote written in barely legible ink. I think we all wanted to put down our suitcases, our narcotics, our laptops, and our utility bills, and really see something we couldn't explain. All we wanted was a little magic.
But, let's say it came. Let's say it walked right in the door without any sense of warning. It would be like living alone for years, only for someone to come in unannounced and suddenly take genuine interest in whatever it was you were doing. In almost all countries, that's trespassing, but maybe it's a trespassing we were crossing our fingers for? If that happened, would we accept it? I know I didn't, at first. After all this time, why now? It made no sense, and because we were so used to things that made sense, humanity and I lived in denial for a short period of time. I eventually came to accept, but everybody else was a bit slower. That's just how humanity is, though. The more of us there are, the dumber we get.
I ended up making a gamble and treated Gusoyn and Autriel like people. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, and that could've gotten me killed, but it didn't. As a collective, humanity panicked a little, but I really don't blame us. I probably would've done the same if I wasn't such a dumbass. I'm sure all of those dead folks on both sides would probably disagree with me, but lessons that really stick around a long time are the ones that involved a lot of people suffering and dying as a consequence. I'm not saying it was necessary, but at this point, the gravity of that day's events hadn't quite hit humanity collectively yet. It would soon.
For now, let this chunk of text here serve as a divider; a divider that separates someone running from fate to someone trying to change their fate.