Chapter 25
Annabeth POV
At this point, I'm pretty much convinced I ruin everything. I'm like the ticking bomb of teenage girls–a lit fuse just waiting to explode.
When I woke up this morning, I noticed that one of my earrings was missing. I searched everywhere: outside my room, under my pillow, under the sheets. I even searched through my dirty clothes. Nothing.
After I got over the initial shock that I had lost it, and the acceptance that I probably wouldn't find it, I was reminded a lot of that time when Helen lost her earring and threw a fit––of how envious I'd been of her and that stupid earring. The memory just made me even more aware of my loss. My dad had gotten me one of the most beautiful pairs of earrings I'd ever seen, just as he had done with my mother when they were together, and now I'd gone and lost one of them.
I don't know why these things even surprise me anymore. My life has just been a series of things floating in and out, appearing and disappearing. It's just a matter of time before I lose everything that means something to me.
Ughhh.
Right now Percy and I are on our way to my dad's bonfire event down by the beach, and I've got to admit, I'm super excited. It makes things a million times better to know that Percy will be there with me every minute, and that our friends will be there as well.
Beside me, Percy looks radiant, his eyes glowing green in the evening sunlight. As he walks, he holds my hand with one hand and holds his phone up to his ear with the other.
"Mutan whats?" Percy dumbly says into the phone, which makes me laugh.
Percy is currently on the phone with his best friend Grover from back in New York. Percy's told me all about Grover––from his girlfriend Juniper, to his undying love for some instrument called the reed pipes, to the fact that he wants to be an environmental science major in college. When I heard that, I thought that Grover would be the perfect person to get some advice from (regarding our current situation with the resort's secret pipelines to the ocean), so Percy and I decided to give him a call before we got to the bonfire.
"Organ whats?" Percy asks again. "You know what Grover, I'm just gonna put you on speakerphone. I feel like Annabeth will have a better chance of understanding you than I will." Percy pulls the phone away from his ear and presses the speakerphone button.
"Hi Grover!" I say.
"Annabeth?" Grover asks. "Oh my gods, it's so good to finally meet you!" He pauses. "Over the phone that is… Percy will not shut up about you! Considering how much he praises you, you'd think you were a plate of Sally's famous blue chocolate chip cookies!"
"Grover!" Percy interjects, his eyes wide, obviously mortified.
I laugh. "Man, that must really be a compliment," I say. "I hear Sally's cookies are to die for."
"Oh trust me they are," Grover moans. "Anyway, I was just giving Percy the rundown of all the things the resort might want to cover up dumping into the ocean. It's super common for big corporations to get lazy financially and cheat out of disposing their waste properly, so oftentimes it just ends up in the water."
"But even if they don't care about the environment, aren't they concerned about the people around here?" I ask him. "I mean, we literally go swimming in the water here every day."
"The pipes would go out really far," Grover explains. "They would go for miles and miles into the ocean until they reach far enough that the contamination wouldn't reach the resort at all."
"Jesus." I say.
"Yeah," Grover says. "Unfortunately, it's not uncommon, but that doesn't make it any less harmful to marine life."
Beside me, Percy's face is angry, and it warms my heart to know that he cares about this that much.
"So what substances do you think they might be dumping into the water?" I ask.
"It really could be anything," Grover says. "There's a list a mile long of substances that are illegal to dump into the ocean. But Percy was telling me that the resort is undergoing some construction, so that probably means it's one of the more common ones––oil, organohalogen compounds, mercury, cadmium, mutagens, or teratogens. Really it could be anything though."
I shake my head. "How could anyone do something like that…"
Percy gives my hand a squeeze. "It doesn't really matter what it is though," Percy says. "All of those things are super harmful to the environment."
"Yeah…" Grover trails off. "It's a really big crime; if they're caught, it would mean ridiculous jail time for everyone involved." There's a pause on the other end of the line. "Just promise me you guys will be careful. People who have that much to lose can be dangerous––I'm sure that they're going to incredible lengths to cover up what they're doing. Just––" He pauses again. "Don't try to take this on yourselves."
Percy and I look at eachother. From the expression on his face, I can tell that Grover's ominous statement freaked him out just as much as it did me.
"We won't," Percy says into the phone. "Thanks G-man."
"Yeah of course," Grover says. "I do have to go though. Talk to you soon?"
"For sure," Percy says, the grin returning to his face.
"It was nice talking to you, Annabeth!" Grover says. His tone is so sweet, I can't help but smile.
"You too!" I say. "I hope I get to meet you in person someday."
Grover laughs on the other end. "Yeah that'd be great. Stay safe you two."
Percy chuckles, shaking his head. "Bye man." He hangs up the phone and slips it back into his pocket.
I lean into Percy, resting my head on his shoulder, and a beautiful moment of silence passes between us as we walk. The sun warms my face and his body heat warms the side of my cheek in a way that makes me want to freeze time and stay this way forever.
"It's time to bring your dad into this," I say, nuzzling in closer.
Percy kisses the top of my head lightly. "I know," he says, and then laughs. "Whatever this is."
We walk like that for a couple more minutes before we finally reach the stairs that lead down to the beach. The moment we reach the sand, Percy and I both slip off our flip flops and carry them as we walk, making our way past all of the other groups of bonfire-goers as we do. There are dozens of people out, all laughing and barbecuing as the sun starts to set up above.
It's not long before I spot my dad off in the distance. He stands with his arm around Helen, talking to a slightly older white couple. Around their bonfire, about 20 other people stand around, holding wine glasses and talking to each other. Everyone looks so professional, their postures giving them away as incredibly educated, refined people. People like my dad. I stop in my tracks, suddenly nervous.
Beside me, Percy uses his free hand to cup my cheek and turn my face towards his. His eyes are intense––this sturdy, ever constant, green.
"You have nothing to worry about," he says. "You'll blow them all away. Without a doubt."
I love how he knows exactly what was going through my head––how he knows me well enough to know exactly how I'm feeling right now.
Slowly, I lean up and place a kiss on his lips. It's not long, but it's passionate––me trying to express my thankfulness for him and his presence in my life.
When I pull away, Percy places his forehead against mine. "Let's get in there, okay?" I nod my head and smile.
We make our way over to the bonfire, and the moment my dad sees us, his face lights up. I feel my heart contract momentarily.
"Annabeth!" he says happily.
Percy and I join their circle.
"Mr. and Mrs. Stratworth," my dad says, addressing the older white couple. "This is my brilliant daughter Annabeth and her boyfriend Percy." Percy and I shake hands with the Stratworths.
"Well aren't you the handsomest couple I ever saw," Mrs. Stratworth says, making me blush. "Why, you're absolutely gorgeous dear!"
Beside me, Percy smirks.
"And smart too, from what I hear," Mr. Stratworth adds, praisingly.
My dad grins from ear to ear. "Annabeth is the top of her class," he states. The pride in his voice melts my heart. I don't think I've ever heard him speak of me this way. I'm surprised he even knew about me being the top in my class, and the fact that he does makes me blush all over again. Percy squeezes my hand.
My dad continues to brag about my accomplishments, and all the while, I can't help smiling. The Stratworths are incredibly nice, and we wind up talking about a number of things, from books, to colleges, to the resort. Percy is super charming, and the Stratworths are really impressed that he has a job.
"It's never too early to learn the importance of hard work," Mr. Stratworth says approvingly.
"I couldn't agree more," my dad says.
The way that he's talking about me makes me incredibly hopeful about our future together. In the past we haven't gotten along because he's never been around, but this summer he's really been making an effort to get to know me. We've been getting along better than we ever have in my life, and it gives me so much hope for what this upcoming school year will be like. For as long as I could remember, I couldn't wait to leave and go to college, but now I find myself looking forward to my senior year. If my dad's and my relationship continues like it has been, this school year could be the best yet. My dad grins at me over Mrs. Stratworth's shoulder, continuing to talk about the work I've done in my internship.
All the while, Helen doesn't say a word. She just stands there like a statue, a pleasant smile plastered to her face so that no one can actually see how much I'm sure it must be paining her to see my dad bragging about me the way he is. After a couple of minutes, she politely excuses herself to go and speak to some of her own friends, and I don't mind at all. I'm happy to be rid of her.
After we're done talking to the Stratworths, my dad introduces us to everyone else, eagerly making the rounds with Percy and me. More and more people continue to arrive, and pretty soon it's getting dark.
Usually I hate small talk, but I find that I'm really enjoying myself tonight. Everyone here may be upper class and poised, but they're not snobs like a lot of the people at the resort are. They're all incredibly educated, and every conversation I have is interesting. I don't come away feeling dissatisfied once. Most of these people have really seen the world, and I'm eager to hear about every place. I want to study abroad for a while when I'm in college, and hearing everyone talk about the places they've been to is really inspiring for me.
The whole time, Percy doesn't let go of my hand once––except to shake other peoples' hands, of course. He stays by my side the whole time, eagerly contributing to each conversation and cracking jokes that make everyone laugh with delight. I know that we're just in high school, but in this moment, it's easy for me to picture a possible future together. A future of meeting people together, hands clasped. The thought fills me with joy, and every time I look at him, I can't help but be reminded of it.
The sun has just dipped under the horizon when our friends arrive. They head over to Percy and me with grins on their faces. Jason and Piper were busy tonight, but Thalia and Luke are here, and Percy and I excuse ourselves from the group we're currently talking to to go and greet them.
"Oh thank gods," Thalia says when she sees us. "I haven't seen you in forever Annabeth!"
"Thalia we saw each other yesterday," I say with a laugh as she pulls me into a hug.
"Exactly! It's been over twenty four hours. I need my fix."
Percy cocks an eyebrow. "And me?" he asks, hopefully.
Thalia shoots him a look. "I've seen enough of you to last a lifetime." Percy pouts, making the rest of us laugh. "Though you do make a mean burger," Thalia continues, and grabs his forearm. "Come one, I'm starving."
She begins to pull Percy, leading us in the direction of one of the barbecues, but just as I'm about to follow, I find myself standing in place instead.
Thalia turns around. "Well aren't you coming?" she asks.
Briefly, I make eye contact with Percy, and I can tell he understands what I'm thinking.
"Actually," I say, "I think I need to talk to Luke for a minute, so if he doesn't mind, you two go ahead and we'll just catch up with you." I look at Luke. The whiteness of the faint scar that runs down the side of his face shines briefly in the moonlight. He seems caught off guard, but not surprised, which makes me curious.
Thalia looks skeptical. "Alright…" she says.
"Come on," Percy chides, and the two of them head in the direction of the barbecue, leaving Luke and me behind. I suddenly realize that I've never been alone with Luke before. He and I have always had a group of people around us, so I feel unexpectedly awkward now that it's just the two of us.
"You're probably wondering what I could possibly have to talk to you about," I start awkwardly.
Luke sighs. "No, I actually have a pretty good idea, believe it or not." He motions to an empty sitting log that's a little bit away from everyone else. "We should probably sit down."
He and I head over to the log and take a seat. Luke clasps his hands nervously, and I can tell he's uncomfortable, which is a strange look for him. He always appears to be so confident, and it surprises me now to see him like this. He briefly runs a hand through his close-cropped blond hair before turning to me and shooting me a brief grin. "Shoot away."
I sigh, preparing myself.
"This is probably going to sound crazy," I preface, "but for the longest time, I've gotten this weird feeling––like you were someone familiar?" I laugh nervously, and put my head in my hands. "Gah this is so weird to ask."
Luke looks at me calmly. "Go on," he says lightly.
I stare into his calm, blue eyes. "Do we… know each other from somewhere?"
Luke nods his head knowingly as if to say, Yes, I'm afraid you would reach that conclusion. He sighs.
"Annabeth, did Thalia ever tell you where I got my scar?" The rocks behind us cast shadows over his face, but the long, thin white scar that runs down the right side of his face stands out more than ever. Of course I'd wondered about it before, but I'd never felt it was my place to ask.
I shake my head.
Luke nods, sighing. "When I was little, my dad wasn't always around. He left my mom and me when I was incredibly young––just a baby. For years it was just my mom and me. I mean, sure my dad would stop in every once in a millenia, but for the most part, it was just my mom and me, day after day, for years." Luke twiddles his thumbs as he continues talking.
"One day, I started to notice a change in my mom. She would throw these tantrums, or go through these chilling phases where she would become incredibly sweet, but severely deluded. She would go on these tangents, talking about how "when my dad came home," we would do this or that, and about how we should set out an extra plate at dinner for "when my dad came home."
Luke grimaces, looking pained.
"You don't have to tell me this if you don't want to," I say. "Really it's fine if––"
"No, I want to," Luke says, taking a deep breath. "My mom was becoming more and more deluded every day. I was too young to understand what was happening, that she was becoming increasingly mentally ill. One day, she lost it. She threw this major tantrum, and, in the process…" he motions to his scar, trailing off.
"Anyway, one of our neighbors heard the commotion one day and called the police. It didn't take them long to realize that my mom was no longer in her right mind. She was hospitalized, and I was sent to live with my dad. Surprisingly, he took me in, but by then it was too late. The damage had already been done. I was scarred in more ways than one. I would lash out at kids in school violently, the way my mom did to me." He shakes his head. "I didn't know any better. It was pretty messed up."
I frown, wanting to reach out and touch his arm, but not knowing if it would be welcome.
"Anyway," Luke continues, "It wasn't long before I was put into this facility for kids with… issues. I mean, don't get me wrong, I definitely needed to be in a place like that, but spending your earliest years of childhood in a correctional facility is terrible––one of the worst ways to grow up." He looks at me, sadly. "Is none of this ringing a bell?"
I shake my head slowly, but as I do, I feel something begin to stir deep inside me, an upheaval of memories that lay buried somewhere deep.
"I––" I start, beginning to say something, but all of a sudden, I'm interrupted by the sound of someone shouting my name distantly.
"Annabeth!" the voice calls. I turn my head to see who it is.
A little ways away, I see Hazel making her way over to us, her curly hair bouncing as she walks. She's holding hands with a guy I've never seen before, a really tall, buff, asian guy, and they look happy as they make their way over to where Luke and I are sitting.
I turn to Luke. He's watching me closely, and I get the feeling he knows I'm starting to remember whatever it is he's insinuating.
"Can we finish this later?" I ask apologetically.
Luke nods his head. "Of course." Together, we stand up and make our way over to Hazel and the guy she's with. Percy and Thalia stride up as well at this point, both of them with plates of food in their hands.
I give Hazel a quick hug.
"Guys," Hazel says as she pulls away. "This is Frank. He's visiting for the weekend."
"Oh my gods, you're Frank!" Thalia says. "Hazel made you out to be this sweet, nerdy, loving boyfriend, but holy shit! You could be on the cover of Sports Illustrated!"
Frank blushes like crazy as Luke elbows Thalia in the ribs. "Nice one," he chastises.
"What!" Thalia says defensively. "It's true! What do you play?" she asks Frank. "Football? Rugby?"
Frank blushes again. "I do archery, actually."
Thalia laughs. "Ha! That's spectacular." She then proceeds to poke one of his biceps. "Though I don't understand just how shooting arrows can lead to guns like that."
"Oh my gods, Thalia!" I say, but Frank is laughing now. Hazel just looks mortified.
"You know what?" Luke says. "I think Thalia and I are going to go practice our manners. Excuse us." He takes hold of Thalia's wrist and begins walking her away from the group as she protests.
"Excuse me!" Thalia says. "I know manners." She then calls back over her shoulder, "It was nice meeting you Frank!" She turns back to Luke and hisses. "See. I know manners." He just shakes his head as they walk off.
"Sorry about her," Percy says to Frank. "My cousin's always struggled with this little thing called basic edicate."
Frank laughs. "No, she's funny." He turns to me. "Thanks for having us by the way."
"Of course!" I say. "We've been dying to meet you for ages. Hazel talks about you all the time."
"Annabeth!" Hazel whines, but she's smiling. Frank kisses the top of her forehead, and the two of them are so cute, I can't help but grin.
"Percy here has already gotten himself a plate," I say, "but I'm still starving if you guys want to get something?"
"Oh for sure," Hazel says.
"Yeah, I could eat," Frank adds.
Percy grins. "And I could have seconds." I look down at his plate.
"Percy how on earth did you already finish your burger?" I ask. "You've been back for like two minutes."
He smirks and pats his––somehow still flat––stomach. "Never underestimate the metabolism of a teenage boy."
Frank laughs. "Amen to that."
Hazel and I roll our eyes, and the four of us make our way over to the barbeque. Once we're all stocked up, we head over to the sitting area around the bonfire, where we talk for a couple of minutes about this and that. Frank and Hazel tell Percy and me all about their school in San Francisco, and I make plans to meet up with them during the school year. It makes me happy to know that, even though I'll have to leave the rest of the friends I've made at the resort once the summer is over, at least I'll have them to hang out with during the school year.
A couple of minutes go by before Percy brings up the thing that's been on my mind the whole conversation, but that I've been too nervous to bring up myself. I haven't seen Hazel in a couple of days, so I haven't had a chance to ask her about it yet.
"So," Percy starts casually. "You guys go to school with Octavian Augur?"
Frank chokes on his water. "You know Octavian?"
"He has a timeshare here," Hazel fills him in.
Frank sneers. "Of course he does."
"Could you tell us a little bit about him?" I ask. Hazel nods glumly.
"He comes from big money. Old money. I mean, our school is full of kids who come from big money, but the Augurs are like the Rockefellers."
"And he never fails to remind people," Frank says.
Percy nods in agreement. "Yeah, Annabeth and I had the pleasure of meeting him at an event a little while ago. He definitely had no problem letting us know about his wealth."
Hazel snorts. "Honestly, wealth is an understatement."
I frown. "But other than him being a complete dick, he's normal?"
Frank laughs. "I mean, I wouldn't call him normal by any means, but yeah, I'd say his snobbery is probably the most notable thing about him."
"Why?" Hazel asks, curiously. I make eye contact with Percy.
"Oh, no reason," I lie. "I just wanted to know if there's anything else we should be aware of if we run into him at another event."
Percy groans. "Oh please don't jinx it. I don't know how much more of that guy I can handle."
Frank and Hazel laugh, and with that, we stop talking about Octavian. Thalia and Luke join back up with us a couple of minutes later, and for the next hour or so, we have a great time just hanging out. It's gotten unnaturally cold out, so Percy gives me his sweatshirt to wear, which completely melts me, no pun intended.
The stars shine bright up ahead, and as it gets later and later, the beach begins to clear out. My dad's group of work friends grows smaller and smaller until only a few of them remain, and I find myself falling into the dreamlike state that only seems to come about late at night.
"I think we're going to head out," Hazel says after a while, gripping Frank's hand as she stands. "Thanks a ton for inviting us Annabeth."
Frank grins. "Yeah, tell your dad those burgers were great."
I laugh. "Will do."
I watch them as they leave, smiling at what an adorable couple they are. It makes me want to nuzzle in closer to Percy, to feel his presence next to me, so I do. Thalia and Luke sit in the sand a couple of feet away, their backs against a different log, so I feel as though Percy and I are almost in our own little bubble. I lean in closer to Percy, wanting his presence to wrap me up completely. He brings his lips up to my ear, but then, just as he's about to make contact with me, he suddenly stops.
"Annabeth, where are your earrings?"
I frown. "I think I lost one of them," I admit sadly.
I see a flash of sympathy shoot across Percy's face, and he slowly pulls my head into the crook of his neck comfortingly. To anyone else, it might come across as vain or stupid that I'm this upset about losing an earring, but Percy knows me well enough to know what they meant to me.
"I just can't help but think that everything I love will disappear at some point, you know?" I whisper. "I mean, how am I supposed to hold onto everything I really love if I can't even hold onto a stupid earring…"
Percy runs his hand down my cheek in soothing lines. "It wasn't stupid Annabeth. You know that." Then he pulls back to look at me, slowly grazing my eyes with his own. His expression is loving, solid. "And the things that really deserve your love… you won't have to hold onto them. They'll just be there for you, loving you and supporting you and standing by you just as equally."
I feel pressure behind my eyes. His words are like cement, filling the empty voids in my heart that have been left by those before him. The words hang between us; I love you. I know we both feel it. I can see it in his eyes, as I'm sure he can see it in mine. But I don't think either of us are quite ready to say them yet, to let that hardening cement cover the entirety of our hearts. And that's okay. Because I know that when we are ready, we'll mean it with every fiber of our being. Because at that point, we'll know every inch of each other. We'll be able to say with certainty that we love each other, because we'll know every piece of each other. I brush my hand across Percy's face, and he closes his eyes, leaning into me.
"It's getting late," he whispers.
"Yeah," I say, smiling. I slowly bring my hand to my side. "Let's get Luke and Thalia. I still have to finish having that conversation with Luke."
Percy nods knowingly, and together we stand and make our way over to Thalia and Luke. They sit with their backs against one of the sitting logs, her leaning her head against his shoulder. I slide in right next to her, and Percy slides in right next to me. The log is curved at a bit of an angle, so we can all see each other clearly.
A couple of moments of beautiful silence pass before I sit up.
"Luke, can you tell me the rest of what you were telling me earlier?" I ask.
The moonlight makes his sandy hair gleam silver as he creases his eyebrows. "Are you sure you want to know Annabeth?" he asks. "I'm not entirely sure it's something you'll be happy to hear."
I frown. What could he possibly have to tell me about my past that I wouldn't be happy to hear? Did I really want to hear it?
But whatever it was that he'd been on the cusp of telling earlier had awakened something inside of me––some faint outline of a memory I hadn't even known I'd possessed. And I have to know what that is, whether I'm going to like it or not.
"I'm sure," I say, my voice sturdy, and Luke nods. The fire in front of us casts shadows over all of our faces. Thalia looks sad, and I'm sure Luke filled her in on what I asked him earlier. Percy squeezes my hand reassuringly.
"Do you want me to tell you here?" Luke asks. "Or do you want to go somewhere else?"
I grab Thalia's hand with my free one so that I'm joined with both her and Percy. "Here."
Luke nods before taking a breath. "You were in that facility for kids with… issues… as well, Annabeth." Somehow, I had suspected this.
"Why don't I remember it at all? I ask.
"You were super young," Luke says. "Barely older than a toddler, I think. I mean you're what, two years younger than me? And even I was just a tiny kid at the time…" I nod, understandingly.
"It was a couple of months before Helen married your dad," Luke continues. "And you were only there for a couple of weeks. I barely remember it, but that day at the pier, I'd gotten this really strange feeling that I'd recognized you, so I asked my dad about you. He filled me in on everything, told me that I probably remembered you from that facility all those years ago… That we'd been friends. He only really remembered you because he and your mom know each other from the resort board. And because… well… Your case had been unique. "
I look at Luke, my gaze steady. "Why was I there?" I ask. "There was nothing wrong with me as a child."
"No, there wasn't," Luke agrees.
"Then why––"
"Your stepmom had put you there." Luke says. "She had admitted you under false pretenses––said that you had manic episodes and hallucinations, that you would wake her up screaming in the night."
I feel as though I'm going to throw up. My breathing grows rapid.
"The facility kept you for weeks," Luke says, "but when they saw no sign of anything, they called your mom, asking if she had noticed the signs as well. Your mom flipped out when she found out… She even took your dad to court for full custody."
"She what?" I ask, my shock plain in my voice. It sounds raw, as though someone has rubbed the edges of my throat with sandpaper.
My parents had never been married. I'd never been ashamed of it necessarily, but it's certainly not something I'd ever gone around telling people. Because they'd never been married, custody had always been a weird dynamic, but I'd always just assumed that my dad had wound up primary custody of me because my mom cared more about work.
"She… fought for me?"
Luke looks at me sadly. "Tooth and nail. But this was before she became successful, Annabeth. She was young. She had no money. She hadn't even been educated yet. They court didn't think she had the capability to be a full time mother, so they decided that you would live with your father primarily, even after everything that had gone down with your stepmom."
"Wait, you mean my father knew about this?" My voice is loud, even to my own ears, but I don't care. I feel as though someone has punched me in the stomach. "You mean my dad stayed with Helen even after what she did to me? After she… after she put me there?"
I never cry in front of other people, but suddenly, I feel tears spring to my eyes. They begin to run down my face, and I rip my hands from Percy's and Thalia's grips to wipe them away. It makes me embarrassed, and I try desperately to pull myself together.
But I can't. Because in that moment, something inside me shatters. Some deluded notion I'd been clinging onto my whole life falls away, leaving the truth plain as day for me to see.
And how can you pull something together after it shatters?
"I'm so sorry Annabeth," Luke says, but I barely hear him.
"He knew…" I mumble, incoherently.
My ears are ringing.
My dad knew what Helen had done, and he hadn't cared. He'd chosen to be with her after seeing her true colors. And that's when it hits me. My dad had always seen Helen's true colors––he just hadn't cared.
I'd always accredited my dad's choosing to be with her to the fact that he didn't know who she really was, but that wasn't true. He'd always known. Even before they were married, he'd known what kind of a monster she was to me. And he still chose to be with her.
I try to get air into my lungs, but I can't breath. It's like someone has blocked my airways.
Why is clarity so blinding?
My whole life, I've been living under this delusion that my dad was just ignorant to everything with my stepmom. But now I see that that's just what I wanted to believe. I'd been living this deluded version of my life because I hadn't wanted to face the truth.
I quickly get to my feet, gasping for air. Hot tears continue to run down my face, but I don't even try to wipe them away anymore. I have one thing on my mind.
The beach has completely cleared now except for some faint silhouettes in the distance. There are a few remaining embers that continue to glow in the night, remnants of the bonfires that had blazed brightly moments before. But nothing is permanent, and now coal is all that remains of them.
I fix my glare on where my father stands, packing up the last remaining stuff with Helen.
"Annabeth," Percy warns, trying to grab my arm reassuringly, but I turn on him.
"Let go of me."
I turn, gasping for air as I make my way over to my dad and stepmom. I feel my friends right behind me, but it's like they aren't even there. I am completely alone.
"You knew all along!" I shout at my dad's back. My voice comes out as a croak––a hollow, empty screech of an out of tune string on a violin.
My dad turns around, and as soon as he sees my expression, his face grows confused. "Annabeth, what––"
The string snaps.
I march right up to him, throwing my finger at Helen. "You knew what a monster she was to me all along!"
Then, I laugh. "And you didn't even care!" I sound absolutely insane. But it's not because I'm deluded. It's because the blinders have been lifted. For the first time ever, I see just how far my boundaries have been pushed. It's not even like I'd been walking towards the edge of a clif. No, I'd been pushed off years ago. And I just hadn't even realised it. Because I hadn't wanted to face the truth.
"For years I thought that you were just too absent, too blind, to see how she treats me," I shout at my dad, then shake my head. "But that's not true at all. You saw it all along and just didn't care enough to do anything about it!"
I bury my face in my hands, unable to look at him, but he's so close I can hear him breathing nervously.
"Annabeth, that's not true––"
My eyes shoot up to his. "She checked me into a correctional facility when there was nothing wrong with me!" I shout, pointing at Helen, who has her arms crossed over her chest in disdain. "And you still married her!" A sob pushes its way out of my throat.
My dad's eyes grow dark, guilty. "How did you know––" he starts, but I cut him off.
"You've always known," I sob. "You've always known how she treated me, and you still chose to be with her anyway!"
My dad's jaw is tight. "That was a long time ago Annabeth." My anger surges.
"Was it a long time ago when she called me a slut right to your face a couple weeks ago, and you didn't say a word?"
My dad's expression falls.
Behind me, Percy shouts, "You let her say what?" and steps toward my father angrily, but I push him back with my arm.
"What kind of father stays with a woman who treats his daughter that way?" I cry, wiping the tears from my face. "What kind of father lets anyone treat his daughter that way?"
My dad is completely silent, his face an impenetrable fortress. For once, Helen doesn't say a word.
"I've been turning a blind eye to it my whole life––blaming every misfortune in my life on her," I say, jabbing my finger in Helens direction. Then I shake my head. "But the truth is, if you loved me, she wouldn't have even been in my life in the first place."
I step up closer to him now, so that we are face to face. I search for any sign of remorse. And I can tell that he feels it, but he would never act on it. My dad has been choosing Helen over me my whole life, and from looking at the unwavering expression in his eyes, I can finally see that that will never change. And I shouldn't have to fight for love. It should be given.
"I'm done with you Dad." I say, my voice finally whole again. "Because I deserve to be loved in a way I finally realize you don't."
And with that, I turn away from him, marching across the sand. Thalia wraps her arm around me as we walk, and I let her, leaning into her embrace. I let my remaining tears fall silently, too exhausted to care anymore. I feel defeated, but at the same time victorious. I feel as though I have finally come to the end of a race I've been running my whole life, but it took everything out of me.
When we finally reach the top of the stairs, I collapse into Percy's arms, burying my face into his chest and letting my silent tears stain his shirt. Thalia rubs reassuring circles on my back, and we just stand there, until my face is dry and the air has returned to my lungs. They give me exactly what I need.
Because that's what love is.
Giving.