Chapter 26
Annabeth POV
"Percy, I'm not doing it," I say, crossing my arms defiantly.
He narrows his eyes at me. "Wanna bet?"
On the lawn behind him, hoards of people walk by, all snapping pictures with their cameras and stuffing things into their fanny packs.
"Oh, I'm sure," I say.
Percy and I are on the front lawn of the Griffith Observatory, surrounded by dozens of other people, all taking pictures of the brilliant view of Los Angeles. I've been wanting to come here forever, and I was unbelievably happy when Percy offered to come with me.
Right now we're standing a little bit aways from the front entrance, and I'm itching to get in––but of course, Percy, being the goofball he is, wanted me to take a picture of him in front of the Hollywood sign first. In it, he's doing the super cheesy touristy thing where you hold up your hand so that, when shot at the correct angle, it looks like you're holding the landmark. His photo turned out great (of course it did, I'm an excellent photographer––it has nothing to do with him being inhumanly attractive), but now he wants me to take a photo too, and I'm not having it.
"It's cheesy and I wouldn't be caught dead doing it," I tell him with a laugh.
Percy raises an eyebrow at me. "Oh yeah?"
I nod my head, keeping my arms crossed. "Absolutely."
Just then, he smirks and lunges at me, wrapping me up in a bear hug.
I shriek, laughing. "Percy let go of me!"
But he's relentless. He wrestles my hands down to my sides, and I'm laughing like a crazy person. Percy is grinning ear to ear, and once he has my arms pinned to my sides, he slips his phone out of his pocket and flips the camera so that it's facing us.
"Percy no!" I say, laughing so hard I'm almost crying.
He lifts the phone up even higher. "Smile!" he says, and then opens his mouth with his head facing the side so that it looks like he's eating the Hollywood sign. And somehow, despite my struggling against him, he pulls it off.
Percy lifts his hand to block the glare so that he can admire the photo.
I just shake my head at him. "Jerk."
Percy looks up at me, grinning. "I can live with that insult because I'm pretty sure that this is my favorite photo ever." He waves his phone for emphasis, and I laugh, taking his free hand in my own.
We make our way up to the observatory, and the moment we step through the doors, I can't help but beam. A giant pendulum swings slowly inside of an observation circle, and above it, the ceiling is covered in beautiful art. It reminds me of an ancient art museum, despite the fact that the observatory is a planetarium that was built in the 1930's. I tell Percy this, and he smiles down at me with admiration.
"You're adorable," he says, kissing my cheek. It makes my stomach do summersaults.
The observatory is so much more impressive on the inside than I thought it would be. Most science museums are decked out with modern architecture––white beams and glass windows, but the observatory is riddled with these beautiful corinthian columns and victorian artistry. It makes me want to jump for joy. Science and history in a beautifully crafted building! Who could ask for more?
We pass by an exhibit that is demonstrating the tendencies of electricity. It's this spherical conductor that throws these lightning-like discharges at the walls of the alcove. I stop to read the placard description, and after a moment, Percy shakes his head helplessly.
"Annabeth, you're going to have to explain that to me, because even the stuff I can make out through the dyslexia sounds like gibberish to me."
I laugh. "Yeah, it's taking me a while to get through it too. I guess it's called the Tesla Coil. It basically converts low-voltage current electricity to very high voltage by increasing the frequency. I don't completely understand the science behind it, but it was named after this inventor, Nikola Tesla. He created the first model in 1891, which is insane, and the main aim of it was to transfer electricity through the air, to find a way to provide electricity without using wires."
Percy cocks his head to the side. "So this Tesla dude was basically trying to harvest lightning?"
I can't help but grin. "Basically."
"I don't know why that makes me uneasy."
I laugh. "It's not like he was planning on carrying lightning across the country in a backpack or anything."
Percy grins down at me. "I guess. You'd have to be pretty insane to pull something like that off."
"You're such a seaweed brain," I say shaking my head. I grab Percy's hand, and we continue on to the next exhibit.
We spend the next couple of hours looking at everything we possibly can. There's about a million telescopes, and I make a point of looking through every single one. I find telescopes fascinating––if I didn't understand the science behind them, I'd find them almost magical. The idea that Hans Lippershay was able to create something to connect people to the stars makes him more godly than any deity I've ever heard of.
Percy and I make our way through various astronomy and solar system exhibits, and he asks questions at every single one. The fact that he is trying his best to take an interest in the stuff that interests me warms my heart beyond belief. I don't think that there's ever been anyone in my life who cared enough about me to take those kinds of steps to get to know me, and it means everything to me that he does.
I think Percy's favorite spot is the monument to Rebel Without a Cause, which is so like him, I can't help but smile.
"I had no idea it was shot here!" Percy exclaims. "If I'd known that, I would've made it a point to take you here a long time ago."
We walk around for a little bit more, and just when we've seen just about everything, we head for the planetarium. I saved the world renowned Samuel Oschin Planetarium for last because I knew it would be something I'd want to end a perfect day with, and the moment we step in, I know I've made the right choice.
The planetarium is a humongous domed room cast in this ethereal blue light. In the center of the room sits this gigantic circular projector that has these lens craters all over the surface, which ironically reminds me of the moon. Circulated in rings around the projector are these movie theater-esque reclining seats, and Percy and I trail behind a line of people as they file into the seats.
I'm grinning like crazy.
The moment Percy and I sit down, we let out a unanimous sigh of relief. I guess it has been a couple of hours since either of us last sat down. It's amazing how easy it is to lose track of time.
"Why can't movie theater chairs be this comfortable," Percy whispers beside me.
"Because movie theaters don't have millionaire investors."
He laughs. "Fair enough."
I take Percy's hand as we settle back into the seats, grateful for his presence beside me. All around us, the blue lights start to dim to black, and Percy brings my hand up to his lips, sending chills down my spine.
The introductory announcement begins to take place, and once it does, the room is completely dark. I feel my pulse racing. The entire experience is completely otherworldly, and it makes excitement bubble in my chest. Percy and I rest our linked hands on the armrest between us in an almost lazy manner, like we have all the time in the world. Our joint hands are hot in the warmth of the enclosed space, slick with sweat. But we're so beyond being embarrassed about sweaty hands at this point in our relationship, and I love that. It means that we care more about being together than we do about covering up our insecurities. It's an exemplification of our closeness and insight into one another. I massage his fingers with my own, creating a kinetic friction between us as the opening announcement comes to a close, plunging us into a void of silence.
All of a sudden, the ceiling of the dome lights up with the universe. A crystal clear projection of the stars swirls above us, casting a white glow over the room. Between us, Percy presses his thumb to the inside of my wrist, as if checking for a pulse.
The moderator's voice booms throughout the room, guiding us through the images of the swirling stars above. With each new constellation, the room lights up in a different way, casting shadows and sparks of light across the room. It's too dark to see Percy beside me, but I can feel him in a way that's almost supernatural, like I'm so in touch with every particle that makes up his body that I can feel their kinetic energy.
The moderator's voice takes us through the history of the universe, and I find everything it says fascinating. It's one thing to read about something, but this planetarium is incredible because it's giving me a chance to actually experience it.
It reminds me of how I first felt when Percy and I started dating. I've read about a million novels with these thrilling and indescribably intense romances, but I guess a part of me always assumed that that kind of love was really just fiction. Until this summer, I'd never seen a relationship like the ones you read about first hand, and I guess that made me think that the kind of love you read about in books must only exist in books. That real life love could never compare to made-up love, and that fiction was just people writing about what they crave for in their own life.
But now I realize just how wrong I was. People don't write about romance because it's this unachievable ideal, they write about it because once you're actually blessed with the opportunity to experience it for yourself, it's this allconsuming, unreal experience. Meeting Percy awakened something in me, some hope for love I never thought I'd actually get to experience in my lifetime. And suddenly, the strength of what I feel for him makes it hard to breathe.
Above me, the stars and the planets and the galaxies flash across the dome, but the truth is, I already have the universe sitting right beside me, milky ways between our clasped hands.
I grip Percy's fingers hard, letting the heat between our hands build, and he grips my hand right back. We sit like that for the rest of the demonstration, our hands linking us physically, and our feelings for eachother connecting us emotionally. It's beautiful. The universe above me and the universe beside me are beautiful, and in that moment, I wish it could last forever. That I could stay here like this, with him, in this way, permanently. But things wouldn't be as beautiful to us if they lasted forever.
The demonstration ends, plunging the room back into blackness. After a moment, the dim blue light slowly starts to make its way back into the room, and once again, I can make out Percy's features beside me. He's staring right back at me.
"That was incredible," he whispers with a grin.
His eyes look greener than ever in the blue glow of the room, and I could stay there staring at them forever. But alas, everyone around us begins to stand, and we're forced to follow suit, filing out linearly.
Percy and I maintain our handhold throughout the entire walk out of the planetarium. I lean my head against his shoulder as we make our way back towards the entrance of the observatory. The entire entrance hall is pretty much empty except for a couple of older couples still gazing at photographs here and there.
The moment we step out of the front doors, I'm immediately hit by a burst of warm, summer air. It's completely dark outside, and the paths that cut across the front lawn are lit up by lampposts.
"Thanks for today," I say to Percy as we make our way down the front steps.
He gives my hand a squeeze. "No thank you. I'd've been completely lost if I didn't have you to explain everything to me."
"You wouldn't have even been there in the first place if it weren't for me," I point out.
"True," Percy replies with a grin.
Percy's car is parked a little ways away in this upper lot near Griffith Park, but I don't mind the walk. I'm perfectly content to be here with him here right now.
"I can't get over how beautiful that architecture was," I say. "The domes alone were enough to make my day."
Percy's arm brushes mine as we walk. I can feel the heat radiating off of both of our bodies, the unusually humid Los Angeles air making us both sweat.
"You never really told me why you want to be an architect," Percy points out. "I remember you telling me that you would've wanted to be an architect even if your mom wasn't one, but I don't think I ever asked why."
I kick up dirt beneath my sneakers, smiling, thinking for a moment before I respond.
"It's hard for me to explain the appeal that architecture has on me, Percy. I was building buildings out of legos before I could walk." Percy urges me on with his eyes, and I release a sigh before continuing.
"I'm gonna get kind of deep here, but ever since I was little, I've never really had anything I could depend upon." A breeze blows, creating a coolness against my hot skin. "I grew up without my mom for the most part. My dad was never really around. Helen couldn't have cared less about providing structure in my life. They got married when I was five, and Bobby and Matthew were born soon after that, and from there I was pretty much always on my own. I think I'm so independent now because I had to create my own sense of structure." I look down, feeling suddenly tired. "But the life I made for myself in Virginia got completely uprooted when we moved to San Francisco. I mean, I was twelve, and in the blink of an eye, everything I knew disappeared––my friends, my neighborhood. Middle school was hard because I came in half way through and didn't really know anyone. So I threw myself into my studies. I got an academic scholarship to the school I go to now. But it's on the outskirts of town, and it takes me over an hour and a half to get there on the bus each morning. During volleyball season, practice runs so late that it's usually just easier for me to crash with teammates than it is for me to come home, and Helen doesn't even notice."
I look up at Percy. He's gazing at me in a way he never has before: a deep understanding settling behind his eyes. He and I have never had trouble opening up to each other, but there's still so much we haven't talked about.
"I guess it's just always been hard for me to feel stable in my life," I continue. "I've always felt like at any moment the world could shift beneath my feet––I've never really had stable ground to stand on. I've never really had close friends, which is why I find this––" I motion to the space between us, "so scary. I'm getting close to you when in a couple of months, we won't even be living in the same state."
The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, but I'm glad I've finally said them. The knowledge that at some point the summer will end has been this shadow lurking in the back of my mind since the beginning of our relationship, and one look at Percy's face tells me he feels the exact same way. It's been an unspoken weight sitting between us for months, and now it's finally in the light.
"I want to be an architect because I want to build something permanent," I say. "My whole life, I've never had structure, something I could rely on, which is why I crave permanence so much. I want to build something beautiful to last a thousand years. I want to create pockets of stability, structures on sturdy foundations."
We've finally reached the car, and Percy and I come to a stop in front of it. The small lot is completely empty except for his car, and there's barely any light illuminating the space. But I can still make out Percy's face. His expression is hard and sturdy––a mixture of affection and intensity that is unchanging.
He takes my other hand in his free one so that we're facing each other.
"Annabeth, I will always be there for you." His eyebrows crease together with an intensity that makes my heart contract. "I know that we won't be together in a couple of weeks, that this summer will end and we'll have to go our separate ways, but wherever you are, I'll be there for you. Always. Some things can be permanent, even in light of change. No matter what happens with our relationship, this––" he pulls our clasped hands together, "will always remain. What we have right now, in this moment, will exist forever." His eyes gleam. "Nothing can ever take that away."
All I can do is stare at him. My entire life, all I've ever wanted is for someone to tell me that they were there for me. That I could rely on them. And here is this boy, this brilliantly kind, spirited, affectionate, green-eyed wonder clasping my hands and telling me he will always be here for me.
Slowly, I bring one of my hands up to Percy's face, cupping his cheek. I run my fingertips down his jaw to the point of his chin, admiring the beauty of him.
I shake my head. "How could you possibly like me, Percy?" I say. "You're the most considerate, free-spirited, devoted person I know. And I'm just––" I trail off. "I don't deserve you."
Percy looks as though I've punched him in the gut. His expression grows visibly angry, and it almost frightens me because I don't think I've ever seen his anger directed at me before.
"Annabeth how could you say that?" he asks, his voice broken like shards of glass. He runs a hand through his hair with an angry laugh. "Jesus, hearing you say that about yourself is like––" he motions frantically with his hand, "it's like you're stabbing me." He closes his eyes. "It physically hurts."
And just like that, I can't breathe. What on earth did I ever do to deserve someone like him?
Percy returns his grip to my hands.
"Annabeth, you are brilliant. And selfless. Everyday I marvel at your intelligence, wondering how someone so smart could ever like someone like me. Everyday I see you put yourself on the line for the things you care about. You bring joy to every part of my life, and I feel like my entire life before meeting you, I was sleepwalking. Like I was going through everything missing something essential. Because that's what you are to me, Annabeth––essential."
I look at him, seeing how much he cares about me written plainly across his face, and in that moment, some barrier inside me breaks. Some barrier I didn't even realize I had up around my heart shatters, and I let him in. I let Percy's smile, his laugh, his sturdy gaze and playful kisses, flow into my heart and pump through my veins.
"I want to show you something," Percy says. From his pocket, he pulls out his keys and walks around the car to pop the trunk.
I can't move, still shocked into stillness by his words.
From the trunk, Percy pulls out a folded blanket and smiles at me before closing the back door and locking the car. He walks over and takes my hand.
"Come on."
We make our way out of the small parking lot and onto one of the abandoned paths that runs through Griffith Park. Trees surround us, and there is no one around. The only light comes from the lampposts for most of the walk until we finally come to a break in the trees. Up ahead, I see something that makes me gasp.
Over the edge of a wooden rail, the entirety of the Los Angeles skyline spans out. The view is even more impressive than the time Percy and I were on the rooftop of the parking structure for my birthday, because from here, we can see everything. The rainbow from the Sony Pictures studio lot arches over a brightly lit block, and it's just one of hundreds. The silhouette of the buildings downtown stand out like a shadow, and the entire Los Angeles grid is ablaze with citylights. A far off beacon in the night that surrounds us.
In the sky, no stars are visible, but it doesn't matter because the city lights create constellations of their own. I tell Percy this, and he laughs.
"Only you would notice something like that."
I help Percy lay out the blanket, and together, we take a seat facing the skyline. The thick grass cushions the ground beneath the blanket, and the dampness of it feels good because of the hot air.
A slight breeze blows against the cliffside, and Percy runs a hand through the top of my hair, combing it back.
"The stars are permanent," Percy acknowledges, making me laugh.
"You do realize that you're saying that in one of the only cities in the world where you literally can't see any stars, right?"
Percy shakes his head. "You're wrong." He lifts his hand up, pointing to a spot off in the distance. "You can see that one."
And he's right. Right there in the ocean-black sky is a star, still managing to burn visibly despite the Los Angeles pollution.
Percy leans his head against mine. "Even through all the changes the world has undergone, that star is still there, Annabeth."
I close my eyes, leaning into Percy's shoulder, breathing in the scent of him. He has such a distinct scent that is so uniquely his own. It doesn't even smell like anything in particular, but it's so completely and utterly his, that it makes my chest ache.
I could recognize that scent anywhere. It means comfort, it means happiness. It means laughter and adventure, new places and new sights. It means home and someone I can rely on. It means love.
My eyes shoot open, my heart pounding.
I draw courage from the city lights below and from the glow of that single star above us. I draw courage from Percy's scent, because he consumes my senses. And my love for him flows from my heart, to my veins, to my lips.
I pull Percy's face toward mine so that our foreheads are touching.
"I love you," I say. The words come out like a gasp, like my feelings for him overflowed in that moment, spilling out of my lips.
Percy bites his lip and clasps my cheek in his hand. His eyes cover every inch of my face in an instant, soaking in every part of me. He smiles, his affection making his eyes glow.
"I love you too."
He pulls his lips to mine with the speed of two magnets snapping together. Any tether of restraint between us snaps, and I let my feelings for him pour from my lips to his. It's an electrical current traveling between us. Nikola Tesla was wrong. You don't need a Tesla Coil for electricity to travel through air.
The kiss is hot and fiery and fast. Our skin is burning from the humidity and from the growing passion between us. It's unlike anything I've ever felt before. Our kisses have never been this intense.
Because our feelings have never been this intense.
Percy pulls my hair loose and runs his fingers through my curls. I gasp into the heat of his neck, a burning fire coursing through my veins.
We fall to the blanket in a tangle of sweat and heated limps. Percy rolls on top of me, and I straddle him with my legs, unable to stand any distance between us.
He moves his mouth down to my neck, and my back arches involuntarily, pushing my body into his. I clasp at his back, gripping his sweat soaked shirt in my hands. Percy continues working on my neck, and I feel like a piece of me unravels with every brush of his lips. The space between us is so hot now that the air feels unbearably cold, and I cling to him with every fiber of my being, wanting the heat to envelop me.
Slowly, I snake my hands up Percy's shirt, pressing them against the muscles of his back, tracing every line of him with my fingers. I move my lips against his as I do, and when my hands come together at the small of his back, Percy pushes his forehead against the floor beside my head, gasping into my neck. It drives me crazy, and my breathing speeds up.
Percy takes a hand and runs it up my leg, all the way from my knee up to the base of my thigh, making my shorts ride up almost to my hip.
I trail kisses from the corner of his mouth all the way to the edge of his jaw. I want to feel every part of him beneath me. I want to run my lips over every part of his skin.
A sudden hunger takes over me, and I flip us over so that I'm on top of him. My hips arch involuntarily, and our bodies move together in a way I didn't know was even possible––two beings becoming one in a flash of heat.
Percy brings his hands up to my face again, drawing my lips back to his, unable to stand even a sliver of distance between us.
"I love you," he moans into my mouth. And I say it back––over and over and over again, into his neck, into his hair, against his eyelids, and against his lips––each word laying the foundations of something permanent.
We kiss until the steam rises from our bodies, cooling us down and leaving nothing but the meaning behind our words in its wake.
It's unbelievably late by the time we get back to the resort. The gates at the entrance have closed, and even the casino-crawlers have already retired.
When we finally pull up in front of my room, Percy leans over to give me one last kiss, whispering "I love you" into my ear.
I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing him say that.
I can't stop smiling as I step out of the car and make my way up the path to my door. I turn around and flash Percy one last wave before he drives off, and as he goes, I feel like he's taking a piece of me with him.
Because that's what tonight meant. We love each other, and now a part of me will always live with him. Permanently.
I feel so happy in that moment, replaying the events of the night in my head, that it's almost impossible for me to unlock the door.
It's much cooler down here at the resort than it was up at Griffith Park because we're so close to the water, but I'm still sweating up a storm, and my room key slides between my fingers.
I finally manage to open the door though, and as soon as I do, I kick off my sneakers, feeling around the room for the light switch.
I just want to be able to see where I'm going so I can plop into bed, letting my exhausted body relax into the mattress. I want to crawl into the covers so I can replay my kiss with Percy over and over until I finally fall asleep.
When I flick on the lights though, the sight that greets me makes me want to plunge back into darkness.
My entire room is wrecked.
My glass dining room table is shattered, shards of glass littering the floor. My couch has been turned over, and my pillows have been ripped open, feathers strewn across the ground.
I hold onto the wall to balance myself.
My cabinets and drawers have all been flung open, smashed dishes and ripped papers sprawling out of them.
An involuntary sob escapes my throat, and it takes me a moment to collect myself, my forehead braced against the wall. I take deep breaths, calming myself down. I need to go about this logically.
I slip my sneakers back on so that I don't step on broken glass, and I make my way into my bedroom, needing to further scout the damage.
My mattress has been thrown off the bed, and my closet door, having been ripped off its hinges, lies across my bedroom floor. My clothes are all off their hangers, and I nearly trip on the silver evening gown that I wore my first at the Colosseum as I make my way over to my mattress. I sit down and put my face in my hands, breathing heavily.
Stay calm, I tell myself.
I've never been much of a crier, but something about this shakes me to my core. I feel like I've been violated––my privacy invaded and vandalized. Frustrated tears stream down my cheeks, and I try to concentrate on the situation at hand, but I can't focus when my head feels this light.
Think Annabeth, think. Who would want to do this?
I try to be rational. I focus on my breathing to collect myself.
My first thought goes to Drew and Dylan, but that would be ridiculous. My mind also goes to Helen, but she and my dad left last week after the whole fiasco.
I breathe in and out, steadying myself.
But just when I've finally calmed down, that's when it hits me.
"Oh my gods," I say aloud.
I spring off my mattress and run out of my bedroom and into the hallway. I throw open the bathroom door, and as soon as I do, a frustrated scream escapes my throat.
I fall to the floor.
My medicine cabinets and medication bottles have been opened, and my pills are strewn everywhere. My shower curtain has been ripped from the rod, and now lays on the floor, but I couldn't care less about that.
What I care about is the drawer.
The top drawer of my bathroom sink is open, completely empty. I press my back against the wall of the bathroom, beginning to hyperventilate.
In that drawer, I kept the copies of the confidential files that I stole from my mom's office. That's where I kept my research on local environmental law, my theories and notes on the conspiracy at hand. Every bit of information I had on the case was in that drawer. And now it's been completely cleaned out.
I push my fists into my eyes and let out a guttural scream.
How could I have been so foolish.
It takes me minutes to calm down, and when I finally do, I need to summon all my strength to make myself stand up.
I look at myself in the mirror and am terrified by the girl I find staring back at me. My eyes are puffy and lined with dark circles. My hair is matted, and my skin is flushed. No hint of the happiness I'd felt tonight remains.
I splash water from the sink on my face to make myself calm down, and just as I'm drying off my face, that's when I notice it.
Through the reflection of the mirror, I make out that there is a note stuck to the back of the bathroom door. It takes me a moment to realize that I'm not just imagining it, and as soon as I do, I turn around sharply, ripping the note from the doorframe.
The note is curt, only a few lines written in typewriter font.
Annabeth chase, we know what you've been up to.
Drop it now.
No more snooping. No more sneaking onto property. No more sneaking into meetings.
Don't tell anyone else.
If you do, we will find out, and you will pay the ultimate price.
So will they.
We're not afraid to get our hands dirty.
Below the words, taped to the bottom of the note, is none other than my owl earring––the one I lost the day Percy and I explored the caves. Whoever was behind this must've traced it back to me.
How could I have been so stupid––sneaking into that board meeting, flashing the upside down delta symbol around like I knew what it meant. Of course that security guard would mention the incident to his advisors. I can just imagine it now: Hey boss, just letting you know, some blond teenage girl claiming to work for the resort flashed the logo at me to get into this meeting. Just thought I'd check in with you to make sure she was supposed to be here.
Gods, I can't believe how reckless I was. That must've been what raised suspicion that someone was onto them.
And then the earring must've confirmed that it was me who was snooping around.
I close my eyes and slide back down to my bathroom floor, reading the note over and over again, trying to find some way that I'd misinterpreted its words.
But it was clear as day. I'd been careless, I'd exposed myself, and now I was in danger, along with anyone else I dragged into this.
We're not afraid to get our hands dirty.
The words shake me to my core.
The whole situation terrifies me. I don't think that anything has ever scared me so much in my life. I want to call someone, to talk to someone, but I can't, and the loneliness I feel in this moment feels like enough to swallow me whole.
Until I realize something.
Me being alone in this means that Percy will be safe.
I was the one who was recognized in the meeting. I was the one who left the earring behind in the cave.
They would have no idea about Percy.
I let out a sob of relief, leaning my head back against the wall.
They would have no idea about Percy.
And it has to stay that way.
And because I love him, even though it breaks my heart, in that moment, surrounded by scattered pills and broken glass, I know what I have to do.