Chapter 3: The Pain is Supposed to be Temporary
"Hey, May!" Peter calls into the apartment as he shuts and locks the door behind him.
"How was studying?" May calls back. Peter walks into the living room and sets his backpack down next to the couch, falling onto the cushion next to his aunt. She has her legs tucked underneath her and a book on her lap.
"As exciting as studying can be." Peter shrugs and leans on her. There are slight bags under May's eyes, probably due to the late night shifts she has been taking. She places a hand on his damp hair and kisses the top of his head.
"How's Ned doing? I haven't seen him in almost a week. He should come over for one of our movie nights."
"Yeah, that sounds like fun. He's been good, too," Peter agrees. May pats his shoulder and hums happily to herself.
"I'm glad. You should get some sleep, you have a busy day tomorrow. Last day of school for the week and then there's your Stark Internship ." She emphasizes and bounces her eyebrows knowingly with a wide smile. Peter playfully roll his eyes and laughs. Ever since she found out about him being Spider-Man, she absolutely loves all their new inside jokes. Of course she was mad at first, which is something he definitely doesn't want to relive, but she has been incredibly supportive. He smiles, so grateful to have someone like May to be there with him.
"Only if you promise to get some sleep, too." He feels May nod with her head resting on his.
"You drive a hard bargain, but I think I can agree to those terms." May stretches her legs and lifts both of them off the couch. "Good night, baby. Love you."
"Night May, love you too." She squeezes Peter in a hug before heading to the back of their apartment to her room. Before heading to his room, Peter grabs a roll of paper towels and a glass of water. May's room is dark when he shuts the door to his own and gets to work. He keeps an emergency first aid kit under his bunk bed, which was mostly used when May didn't know about his Spider-Man activities. For the most part, she dresses all his injuries that won't heal overnight. Well, except for this instance, of course. Peter sits down on the carpet and places paper towels on the hardwood floor in front of him. Can't stain the wood, right? he reasons to himself. Ha…it's too late at night for this… Reluctantly, he takes out some antiseptic wipes, a couple pads of gauze, metal tweezers, and a few safety pins. It should be as simple as taking out a splinter, right? Right.
He looks at the peppering of shallow bumps underneath the skin of his palms and the raw blisters just above them. With a deep breath, he disinfects his hands. The stinging isn't bad, since pretty much all of the cuts and scrapes have already healed. Unfortunately, that's what'll make it more difficult to get the gravel out. He holds a safety pin in his right hand and stares at his left palm. Okay, no problem. The faster you get it done, Peter, the faster it's over. As his hand gets closer, it starts to shake. Focus. Just press the…pin underneath your skin. No problem. He notices he's been holding his breath and quickly pulls away when he feels the pressure on his shoulders. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. He reaches into his backpack to grab his still grimy mask and slip it on. When he does so, he makes sure his eyes are closed so Karen can't see the display before him.
"Hey, Karen?"
"Hello Peter," her sweet voice greets. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, yeah. Can I just, well, can you promise me something? I need help with something, but I can't tell or show you what it is until you promise it stays between us. Okay?" Peter keeps his eyes shut to keep Karen from seeing his palms.
"Only if you keep your word about eating something before you sleep," Karen reminds. Oh yeah huh. Peter almost forgot.
"I promise, but this kinda takes priority."
"I'm always happy to help." With a steadying breath, he opens his eyes to show her. "My skin healed over the gravel, so now I have to get it out. But when I try to do it, it feels like, like I can't? It feels like I'm back there and under the drywall and the concrete and it was an entire building on top of me-"
"What do you mean?" Karen interrupts his nervous rambling with her concerned tone. He hadn't realized he said anything about the time Toomes dropped a concrete warehouse on him. "I don't have visual or audio records of a building previous to this night." That's because the suit was taken away .
"Uh, never mind. I just need help getting these out, please."
"Alright Peter, have you disinfected the area?" He nods and follows all of Karen's instructions. Being able to talk to her helps calm Peter's nerves and he's able to get all the gravel out of both of his hands. After he does, he wraps gauze around his hands and decides to let his enhanced healing do the rest overnight. They should be healed by morning.
"Thanks Karen, I appreciate it," Peter mumbles tiredly.
"It is not a problem. Eat something and have a good night's sleep."
"Yeah, good night Karen." With that, he takes the mask off and sets it on his bed. Even though he could fall asleep as soon as he hits the bed, he takes his suit to the washing machine then checks the fridge for a snack. May keeps it even more stocked than it used to be, knowing that she needs to feed a teenager with an insanely fast metabolism. It's 12:46 am, officially making it a midnight snack! He notices some leftover pizza in a plastic bag and decides that a cold slice of pizza is exactly what he needs. By the time he walks back to his room, he has practically inhaled the pizza and it almost tempts him to get another piece. Unfortunately, he knows he has study for tomorrow's History test and it's already almost 1am. He could try winging it, but he hasn't studied nearly as much as he normally does. There just aren't enough hours in the day.
He makes it to around 2:30 am going through his class notes before his body forces him to sleep. When he wakes up, feeling beyond exhausted and drained of energy, May has already left for her hospital shift. The first thing he does is unwrap the restricting gauze from his hands, happy to be rid of it. He's slightly shocked when he sees faint red lines still across his palms. They should be healed by now. He opens and closes his hands a few times, but there isn't any substantial pain. Oh well, they'll be fine by the end of the day. He debates having a shower to help wake himself up, but he's already running late. That's what happens when you hit snooze one too many times. After getting his thankfully clean suit out of the wash and into his backpack, he's ready to face the day!
Well, that's what he thought until he gets to History class…the test doesn't go so well. It doesn't help that History is already not one of his best subjects. Math, Chemistry, and Biology, however, he can do all day long. Then there's economics…his worst class. Luckily, he doesn't have an exam for that class until next week.
Ned and Peter wait outside the school at the end of the day for their rides. Normally they would already be starting patrol, but Friday afternoons are the days he gets to work on the suit at Stark Tower. However, since he's always on business trips and involved with Avengers stuff, Tony isn't ever there. Happy keeps Peter company though, which usually consists of Happy sitting in the corner of the room on his phone and making sure Peter doesn't blow up the workshop.
"You seem kind of out of it today. Everything okay?" Ned asks as Peter stares at his hands. They're still red. His head snaps up to meet Ned's eyes.
"I'm great! Just didn't sleep well. I studied until two in the morning and still bombed the test," Peter laughs halfheartedly.
"C'mon, The Peter Parker failing a test? Impossible! I'm sure you did great." Ned bumps Peter with his shoulder and they smile.
"Dorks in love. I ship it," MJ says as she sits down cross-legged next to the two boys. Peter stares at her with wide eyes, but she reads her book like she didn't say anything.
"Wha- we're not, I mean, he's my best friend, we're not, it isn't," Peter frantically stumbles over his words to try to explain.
"Yeah!" Ned instantly agrees as he nods over and over.
"Too bad," MJ closes her book and looks at the two boys "you two woulda been cute as hell. So, what's wrong with you?" She makes eye contact with Peter.
"Ha! See! It's not just my imagination," Ned exclaims. Peter quickly turns to him with a pointed look and his eyebrows raised. Peter knows MJ isn't stupid and he already has two people he didn't plan on telling his secret identity to.
"Nothing's wrong with me, just a bit sleepy," Peter repeats while facing forward again.
"You're looking a little boney too." MJ disinterestedly pokes his cheek a few time and Peter gives her an exasperated look. "See. Grumpy Peter."
"I'm okay ," Peter urges. MJ purses her lips slightly and narrows her eyes as if she doesn't believe him, but then nonchalantly shrugs her shoulders.
"Keep telling yourself that, Parker. Later Ned." She hops back up and walks back inside.
"Did she come out just to say all that?" Peter asks turning to Ned, who just shrugs his shoulders.
"I dunno, but your ride's here." Ned points to the black Bentley with "Stark 13" plates parked in front of the school. The passenger window is rolled down, showing Happy with his sunglasses on and gesturing for Peter to hurry up.
"I'll talk to you after I'm done at the Tower!" Peter waves bye to Ned with a smile and jogs to the car. He grins as he reaches for the passenger door.
"Hey, Happy!" If he's as cheerful as he normally is, Happy won't have anything to report to Tony.
"Hey. Backseat today." Happy jerks his thumb towards the back, causing Peter to raise a confused eyebrow. Peter has been riding in the front seat ever since Homecoming, so why the change? Maybe May contacted him? When he doesn't get any further explanation, he opens the backdoor instead. Tony's impassive eyes stare back at him. Peter freezes.
' We're doomed ,' Ned's words echo in his head. Peter's muscles immediately tense and, contrary to popular belief, he's utterly speechless. He doesn't know whether to feel anxious or excited or angry or confused. His emotions battle and decide to settle on confused.
"Mr. Stark? Is something, is something wrong? What are you doing here?" His anxiety starts to resurface when he considers all the possibilities of something going wrong. "Is-"
"Your aunt's fine. Hop in, Underoos," Tony interrupts nonchalantly. Peter hasn't heard the nickname in months and it's strange to hear, but he listens nonetheless. He slides into the open seat next to his mentor and shuts the door behind him before Happy pulls out of the school's parking lot. It's awkward to say the least. The silence is crippling, actually, and Peter can't even force himself to strike up a conversation. "How's school?" Tony asks about five minutes after they start driving.
"It's good, Mr. Stark." Peter nods a few times and clasps his hands in his lap.
"Out with it, kid." He looks up at Tony and tilts his head in confusion.
"Out with what?"
"You're a terrible liar." Tony almost looks amused, as if Peter Parker lying were the most entertaining thing he had ever witnessed. He's going to have to be a bit more specific. Peter keep his hands clasped. "Your suit's AI sends me a trending vitals report at the end of each week. There's no way you can get around that, even if you say pretty please. It's preprogrammed." His voice is strong and steady. He doesn't realize that his words are causing Peter's heart to pound and breathing to speed up. Peter can't tell if Tony's mad, but he almost wishes he were so that he knew what he was thinking.
"That's, that's interesting," Peter mumbles.
"You know what else is interesting?" Tony asks, sounding genuinely intrigued. Peter stays silent. There's no point in trying to argue. "That your AI Karen, as you've named her, has restricted me from certain files in your suits memory. I, Tony Stark, the creator of your suit, was told no . Imagine my surprise. Of course, being the genius that I am, it took me all of two seconds to get through the little pinky promise you two made." Peter doesn't dare to interrupt him. Not after what happened last time. No, this is where you zip it! The adult is talking. Sorry doesn't cut it. I wanted you to be better. It isn't working out. I'm going to need the suit back. "It was cute really. Haven't had one of my AI's make a pact with someone before. Then I found out you haven't been eating enough. Teenage Spidey with super metabolism hasn't been getting the necessary calories to sustain patrols." When Tony pauses for almost a full minute, Peter speaks up.
"This is about my diet?" It isn't what he thought Tony was going to bring up. "But I eat a lot of food." Doesn't he? Last night was only a one time thing.
"But wait, there's more! It's like one of those bad infomercials from the nineties." Tony actually doesn't sound mad, but it wouldn't be the first time he has sounded calm before exploding. Peter has seen it first hand. Tony gestures for Peter to lift his clasped hands. Even though Peter know what he's looking for, he doesn't hesitate to lift his palms. There's no point in hiding them when Tony already knows. Peter still doesn't look up. "It has also affected your healing factor and sleep schedule," Tony continues as he inspects Peter's palms.
"I didn't realize…" Either that or he didn't want to realize. He's not sure which it is anymore.
"Oh we're just getting started, Pete." Why doesn't Mr. Stark sound angry? Shouldn't he be angry? I've been keeping things from him, he should be angry! When Tony unlocks his door, Peter notices they have arrived at the Tower. Peter shakily reaches for his door handle and steps out. They continue their conversation alone after they walk inside and take the elevator to the workshop. "Then," Tony starts again "I have to unearth the deleted footage from last night's fiasco, since your partner in crime Karen decided to get rid of it for you. F.R.I.D.A.Y., put it on the hologram please." Almost instantaneously, a hologram of the burning hotel from last night comes to life. Peter's jaw tightens at the scene and he grips the hem of his jeans. He doesn't want to see this again. He can't. "Peter." Tony's voice is so uncharacteristically soft that Peter manages to drag his eyes away from the hologram. "You could have easily lifted it off you. I know the limits of your strength and it isn't drywall. Why didn't you lift it?" For a few painstakingly long moments, Peter can't speak.
"I…I couldn't?" His voice isn't as confident as I'd like it to be.
"Kid, I've seen videos of you stop vehicles with your bare hands. There's no way in hell you couldn't have lifted that." He hears some of Tony's frustration seep through and his breath gets caught. I've disappointed him. I've disappointed him again.
"It's just not, not that simple. It was the combination of the fire and the, and the smoke. It was…" The words die along with Peter's thoughts. It won't make sense unless he tells Tony why it freaked him out, and he can't bring himself to do that.
"I don't think you fully understand what could have gone wrong. You could've gotten a lot more than just some scraped up hands. We need to talk about what happened and we need to do it now ." His anger finally starts to show. "The fire could have burned you alive or the building could have collapsed on top of you. I can't go pulling a sixteen year old kid out of a heap of ashes and-" Peter's brain tunes everything out once Tony suggests the building burying him alive. The visuals come with Tony's words, not just from last night but also from the night Toomes collapsed tons and tons of concrete on top of Peter. His Spidey Sense erupts at the base of his skull, sending chills throughout his whole body. Remembering the mixture of thick dust in the air and water trickling on the ground in front of him are enough to hit him full force. He can feel the pressure on his back as the concrete rips through his homemade suit. His chest can't expand more than a few centimeters, making it almost impossible to get a full breath. He wants to scream but his throat is too dry to make a sound.
No one will ever find me.
I'm stuck under tons and tons and tons of immovable concrete.
Karen isn't here to talk me out of it.
I can't call May or Mr. Stark or Ned.
I'm going to die down here and no one is going to find me for days. They don't even know I'm in trouble. I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't scream. My ears are ringing. No one can help me. No one can save me. I'm all alone. I can't do it. It's never ever ever going to end.