Dorian listened to the quiet house after David left. David had gone to find out what Viki was doing that gave her such an advantage in the polls. Dorian wasn't sure where the rest of her family was.
She tried to entertain herself with keeping busy for a while but there was nothing distracting enough to keep her attention. She was standing alone in the middle of the sitting room with a cup of warm coffee between her palms when she realized she had an opportunity to visit Shaun.
She abandoned the drink in the foyer as she changed into a buttoned jacket and grabbed her purse.
The hospital was cool and sterile and her shoes had soles that did not click against the hard floors. She did not want to draw attention to her visit. She smiled amicably to each nurse she passed in the hall as they nodded to her on their way to take care of whatever task was at hand.
She watched them to be sure they didn't look overwhelmed as she continued with hesitance to an open visitor area and read each room number on the sides of the doors. She had reached the door she was looking for when someone stepped out of it and turned to her.
"Dorian Lord?" the middle-aged African-American woman, who was wearing a homemade shawl, bit with a disapproving tone. Dorian could see the family resemblance she held with her children.
Dorian stepped toward her, swallowing as she offered an apologetic smile. "Mrs. Evans?"
Mrs. Evans sighed at her, frowning, with nothing to say. Dorian's jewelry seemed to catch her eye for a moment, but not in a good way.
Dorian extended her hand. "Shaun always told me such wonderful things. And we're so glad to have Dr. Evans on staff here in Llanview."
Mrs. Evans crossed her arms and kept her gaze fixed on the other woman, leaving Dorian standing in an awkward position with her hand outstretched.
In a brief instant, a taller man appeared out of the hospital room and reached forward from behind Mrs. Evans, grasping Dorian's hand. "Doctor Lord?" he asked in a pleasant voice.
"Mr. Evans?" she asked, nodding to him as she shook his hand, relieved to find someone pleasant and reasonable.
"Richard," he told her as he put each of his hands on his wife's shoulders. "I see you met my wife, Phylicia."
"Yes," Dorian confirmed to him, smiling and shifting her feet, uncomfortable. "I was just about to tell her what a wonderful family you have."
Mrs. Evans glared at her. "Did you come to offer your condolences, or to apologize?"
Dorian eyed her, confused by her attitude. She looked at Shaun's father and then back at his mother. "Actually," she answered in as sweet and humble a tone as she could muster, "I was hoping to speak to Shaun."
They all three turned and looked in the doorway at her comatose ex-employee.
"He's indisposed at the moment," Mrs. Evans bit.
Her husband started to speak – to offer some word to sway her – but Dorian interrupted.
"Mrs. Evans, I would really appreciate it if you would just let me have a minute with him. As a mother, I deeply identify with what you are going through right now, and I understand your feelings about all this," she insisted. "Shaun was always very good to me, and I was often unappreciative, but I am absolutely devastated that this happened to him – and that not only was he hurt in my home, but it was while he was trying to protect my family." She interlaced her fingers backwards, holding her palms to the middle of her chest as she gazed at Mrs. Evans, her eyes pleading for understanding.
"He was willing to risk his life for your family," Mrs. Evans informed her, "And you fired him from probably the best job he ever had." Her angry words revealed her pain. "He loved working with your family, and I always felt he was safe with you." She shook her head as she spoke, her words heated and emotional. "And even after you fired him, he was STILL willing to lay his life down for you all."
"I know," Dorian whispered to her in apology. "And I'd like to thank him for that," she said, her inflection sounding like a question, keeping check on her own emotions and measuring her breath.
Mr. Evans guided his wife toward the waiting area, nodding at Dorian.
Dorian watched them until they were seated and then turned back to Shaun, stepping into his room a little bit at a time, trying to wrap her mind around him as she crept to his bedside. She had seen hundreds of patients like this before – some she knew personally and some she didn't – but Shaun intruded on her emotional stamina. He looked so vulnerable and so quiet. His face, his body, and his features were clearly Shaun. His lack of strength and lack of passion were not.
She leaned over him to speak to him at a more intimate level. "Shaun?" she whispered. She offered him a quiet explanation. "Listen, I know I might be the last person you want to hear from right now, but I just wanted to tell you…."
She paused and looked around, locating a chair, which she pulled close to him and sat in, picking up his large hand and holding it in a soft embrace between both of hers as she spoke from her heart. "I just wanted to tell you how much … I appreciate you, and how much … I want you to wake up, Shaun." She turned and looked over her shoulder, toward his parents. "Wouldn't you like to see Starr and Hope again? I know they'd like to thank you."
She sighed and sat with him in thought for a moment before speaking again. "Listen, I know your brother blames himself for this situation you're in … and most people are blaming Mayor Lowell for everything that happened – and he should be blamed," Dorian nodded, frowning. "But I don't think any of this would ever have happened if I hadn't worked for that … " she sighed before snarling, "… low-down, wretched … S.O.B." She looked around again to assure herself that she was alone with Shaun.
She clutched Shaun's hand and looked at him with all her sympathy. "You see, he knew where to find Hope and Starr, and I'm the one who told him Cole was undercover. So no matter what anyone else comes in here and tells you…." She took a deep breath. "It's all on me." She placed his hand back on the bed and straightened and smoothed his covers.
"The part of the whole situation that is even more detestable is that you were working for …Todd… when you were shot," she told him as she worked. She stood in place and furrowed her brows as a pang pierced her chest. "I'm just so glad you were there, Shaun," she whispered to him, sitting back down and leaning on the edge of his bed as she touched his arm.
"You can not imagine how relieved I was when I heard you were going to be alright," she smiled through sadness, tearing up. "We were all so traumatized … I saw the blood in the foyer … you lost a lot of blood." She shook her head and sniffled, trying to get ahold of herself as she forced herself to keep smiling.
The tears in her eyes did not let up, though she continued to succeed in holding them back. "And then when I found out you were in a coma, oh, god, my heart just felt like lead. You of all people … you don't deserve this. Your family doesn't deserve this. … And frankly, Shaun," she smiled through the tears she was managing to keep in her eyes, "I miss you like crazy." Her smile was genuine. "It's true. La Boulaie isn't the same without you there."
Again, she sat in silence with him, thinking. She took a deep, refreshing breath, clearing the sadness in her eyes.
"On the day I fired you, you were the only person who stopped to notice how I was feeling. I mean, other people knew I was angry – but you knew I was hurting, and you dealt with me … delicately. As much as I would let you. I was terribly ungrateful that day. And the next morning, when I realized what had happened – what I'd done – I didn't feel like there was anything I could do to fix it." She rubbed her hair back from her left temple in thought. "And then when you ripped up the invitation to dinner, I knew I was in big trouble."
She patted his hand. "You're like me, bro. You've got a big heart, but if someone wrongs you, they better watch out, hm?"
She sighed. "Langston said something to me that day – I don't remember it very well but it was … she said you were our friend, I know." She smiled at his closed eyes. "Shaun, you were practically a part of our family. I guess what I'm saying is … I know I would take a bullet for those girls, but it is hard to imagine someone else doing it, even if that is their job." She pursed her lips before speaking again. "I got my wake-up call here, okay? So – lesson learned – you can wake up now."
She sighed at him, exasperated. "Okay, honestly," she admitted to him, looking around to make sure no one was listening. "I could really use that friend I fired that day. I don't want to ramble on about the details of my very complicated life right now but … I need you, bro. We all need you. Your job isn't finished, right?"
She looked over at one of his monitors, studying it for a moment, appreciating the irony that medical technology could seemingly measure the strength of a person's life force. "Listen to me. I've been where you are, and I know you can hear what is going on around you." She leaned forward in her assertion. "It might not be very clear or make a lot of sense in that place, but you have to cling to it – listen to it, and believe in it. You'll find what you need. Just keep fighting – you have to defend yourself this time. Got it?"
She stood and laid her hand on his cheek. "Do me a favor. When you come out of this – yes, when – consider coming back to La Boulaie. I promise you that I don't say that because of a guilty conscience. We all want you back." She moved her hand to his shoulder, taking a deep breath before she turned to go.
His mother was standing at the window, watching. Dorian nodded to her and made a hasty exit.
She wasn't ready to go home, so she ducked into the hospital chapel and sat as if waiting for something to happen – some divine inspiration. She looked around in the solemnity of the place, with its prayer candles flickering against the gold cross at the front of the room. This was where she had met the mysterious female Mel. In her most private thoughts, she almost wished to see the woman again now.
No Mel came, nor did any inspiration to pray. After several minutes, Dorian decided to head home. She needed to know what David had found out during his visit to Llanfair.