Sara knew instinctively that something had to be very wrong when she tried to catch Grissom's gaze but failed. 'Is it anyone on the team? Did something happen to someone?' She demanded an explanation. There was no immediate response and she started to panic. 'Tell me, please.' Grissom nodded slowly. Like he'd finally gathered enough courage to let her in on what he had so much trouble telling her about. 'Let's sit down here.' For the lack of a better alternative, he pointed a bit helplessly to the sandy beach beneath their feet.
Sara was still trying to catch his eyes, trying to read his mind, when she sat herself down next to him. The flashlight she was still holding, she put down in front of them, so that the light coming from the torch would still be enough for them to see each other. In the background, the waves broke on the beach, leaving a boisterous noise every time they did. Sara barely noticed it. She was too focused on the man sitting next to her, the corners of his blouse fluttering in the strong wind as he stared into the distance.
Hundreds of possible scenarios flashed through Sara's mind. Something bad had happened to her mother. She could have had another relapse, it wouldn't have been the first time. Or, one of her former teammates got shot and was now fighting for his or her life in hospital. Or worse… What if someone she loved had died? 'Sara…' Grissom interrupted her worrisome train of thought. 'I'm not here to ask you to come back with me, but I'm here to tell you something.' Mentally Sara tried to buckle up as best as she could. Whatever it was he was going to tell her, she would be able to handle it. She needed to.
'I wanted to tell you this myself, in person, before you heard it from anyone else,' he continued. Sara could finally catch his eyes. They looked pained, but composed. Focused. 'I know we've been through a difficult time together and I respect your choice Sara, I really do.' She was really confused now. Was he here to tell her about something that had happened or was this his way of trying to win her back? Grissom had clearly spotted the puzzlement within her, as he continued more firmly now. 'I've been feeling a bit off, for quite a while now. Yes,' he nodded, 'your video message definitely took me off guard and left me dazed and confused for a very long time. I can say that now.'
Sara felt a pang in her heart when she heard these words coming from the man she loved. She still did love him. At the time, she had been more than certain about what she'd recorded for him to hear. To her, at that moment in time, it really felt that their relationship was over in a way. Too much uncertainty for too long had caused her to finally admit that her feelings about him had changed. They were stuck where they were for too long. The physical and emotional distance between them simply didn't work out and it had felt best to take the plunge and decide to move on. Which is what she did. She'd moved on. And she thought he had too. But then today, as soon as she'd seen him standing there - entering ''her world'' as for the very first time - feelings and emotions she thought she'd lost had taken over completely.
She nodded her head fiercely, trying to shake those conflicting emotions that were spreading like wildfire within her. 'Wait, what are you actually saying here…?' she tried. Grissom casted her a firm look. 'Please, let me finish.' The strong intent of those words caused her to fall silent. 'I didn't handle it well. Not well at all. My vision was clouded by what I thought were just my emotions, I was curt and rude to the team and I started to make mistakes. I forgot meetings I had signed up for, I forgot where I put things and there were days where I simply couldn't tell left from right. Worst of all, I started to make serious mistakes at work. Mistakes a CSI never is to make. But yet I did. I made those mistakes and caused a lot of havoc at the crime lab and for the LVPD.' He took a large breath of air and continued. 'Then one day, we'd almost wrapped up a case. Two sisters, eight and ten years of age, were murdered in their sleep by their foster dad. We were able to collect some evidence at the house where it all happened. We had the foster dad's DNA on the two pillows that were used to smother the girls. We also learned about his criminal past, that he'd apparently known to hide from the foster agency for the longest of times. But the most definite piece of evidence we had was a testimony of the suspect's wife, who had witnessed the final seconds of the murders as they occurred.
He looked back down again, seemingly nervous to go on. 'I was the one who took her statement. The wife declared to me that she had wanted to give the girls their goodnight kiss when she had frozen in her tracks in the opening of the bedroom door as she'd seen her husband holding two pillows firmly on top of the girls' noses and mouths. The details she gave me… She was speaking the truth. She had truly witnessed her husband kill their two foster children.' Grissom looked at Sara now and with a nod of her head, she encouraged him to continue. 'There's footage of the wife signing the statement, which I gave to her to read and sign. And after that…' He hesitated. 'The statement was just gone and we had to let the guy walk.'
Sara didn't understand. 'What do you mean, the statement was gone?' she asked, confused. 'I can't remember where it went. And the wife was too afraid to testify a second time,' Grissom tried to explain. 'I mean, you must have had a voice tape of the statement somewhere too?' Sara asked. During a regular procedure they would have a written statement as well as a voice or video recorded statement from a witness. Both which they used in court. 'She asked me explicitly not to video- or audio tape the interview,' Grissom answered quietly. 'That's why there's only footage of her signing the statement. She did that in a rush at reception where as you know is a security camera. She was too scared to testify if she knew she would've been video- or audio taped.' Before Sara could bring in another objection, he continued. 'The point is. I literally cannot remember what I did with the statement after she signed it. It's like a blank in my memory and now a murderer of two children has walked out free, because we didn't have enough evidence to have him convicted.'
Sara felt a jolt of pain and wanted to say something, but didn't know what. All that he was telling her didn't sound right. It didn't sound like him at all. The serious scientist, absent-minded at times, but never sloppy or failing in his work. She simply couldn't believe that her breaking up with him would cause him to behave like this.
The validation of her disbelief followed right after Grissom's admittance of all that he'd done wrong. 'I'd stuck my head in the sand for too long,' he went on. 'Something was wrong with me.' A cold shiver ran up and down Sara's spine as she was about to grasp the truth. 'I didn't feel like myself anymore Sara. Not metaphorically speaking, but quite literally. And it frightened me. The foster-case had finally opened my eyes and I knew I had to do something. So, I made an appointment with my doctor and told him everything. He referred me to a cognitive neurology department at Desert Springs Hospital where they sent me through an extensive testing program.' Suddenly he stopped and Sara took that moment to take both of his hands in hers. She knew. She'd read a lot about this subject during her uni-years and knew where this was heading. Yet, when he spoke the words she was so dreading to hear, she couldn't help but to break down into tears.
'I'm sick Sara.' The words that followed sounded like being said in slow-motion. 'It's early onset Alzheimer's.'