Summary: "there's a double-edged sword at her throat; if she's not beauty, what else could she be?" Kyoko and a not-quite-coming-of-age-story. Gen. Kyoko-centric.
Author: glassessoul
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Characters: Kyoko, mentions of Tsuna, Haru and plenty other characters.
Rating: T
Word Count: 6.6k
Published: 06/11/2020
Last Edited: 06/11/2020
his eyes bother her.
they follow her in the hallways, like every other boy she nods and smiles at when they pass her. they like her, that much is obvious. he likes her. she knows, even if it takes a while for her to notice. she just pretends not to, like the oblivious innocent angel she is supposed to be.
('what you can't see can't hurt you', her mom told her one night, when she was still too afraid of the monsters under the bed and inside her closet.)
fortunately, most boys kept to themselves, content in admiring her from afar. far and few of her numerous fans have ever attempted to even talk to her, one Kensuke Mochida being the boldest she's ever seen.
(the stupidest too, Kyoko not so kindly thinks to herself, and finds herself wishing someone would hit him with his own shinai. she's sure cracking his skull open wouldn't kill him- there's nothing in there to hurt or damage after all.)
he claims her as his prize and she's never in her life been as angry as she is now, but luck is on her side, and soon she'll find herself free of Mochida's unwanted attentions.
her savior comes in the shape of known class loser, Tsunayoshi Sawada. he's scrawny, quiet, bad at both studies and sports, and there's really nothing special or remarkable about him, but his overreactions are funny, almost endearing. he looks like a nice kid, she thinks, and it's unfair how people judge his worth by his appearance and (lack of) skills. sometimes she notices him staring at an empty space, like he'd rather be anywhere else, and Kyoko wonders if he too is tired of the shallow status quo of their school. she thinks about his position on the food chain of their school lives and quietly (selfishly, guiltily) wonders how does it feel to be free of expectations.
the day he rips off all of Mochida's hair in only his boxers is the day her eyes open. he does what she whishes she'd done and cares nothing about what his peers might think of him. his attack on Mochida is relentless and the not-so-ordinary-boy-after-all is victorious. he's violent and passionate and free when she isn't and at the moment that's enough to sway her opinion of him.
a strange feeling awakens inside Kyoko. she doesn't know it's name yet.
before Tsuna, Kyoko's life is her family, her brother, her school life and Hana. she eats all her vegetables, hands her homework in time and graces everyone with her smile. she watches out for her brother when no one else will (and no one will) and she always eats lunch with Hana. her life is simple but it's a happy one and Kyoko wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. she is happy. she really was back then.
after Tsuna, Kyoko's life is a hurricane. with him comes Reborn, the cutest and strangest baby she's ever seen. with Tsuna comes Gokudera, with his tight-lipped scowl and devoted eyes, and Yamamoto, who is friendly and always smiling and sometimes reminds her too much of herself. then comes Lambo, and I-Pin, and Bianchi, and Fuuta, and Chrome- all who she comes to love like they were her own siblings. there's Hibari too, a constant presence in her life, both familiar and strange at once, and her brother, who she fears may be over his head everytime he goes to another one of their sumo contests. more and more colorful characters appear wherever Tsuna is, like funny Giannini, sweet Basil and gallant Dino, and Kyoko wonders how Tsuna knows so many people?
with Tsuna, comes Haru.
never in her life could Kyoko have ever imagined having a friend like Haru. before, Hana was her anchor, cynical and blunt and grounded in ways Kyoko could never be but very much needed in her life (still needs if she's being honest).
they first meet at a cake shop, their favorite, bond over shameless gluttony and head over to Tsuna's house. Kyoko adores Haru at first sight. she's sincere, bright and open-minded; Haru doesn't know of Naminori's Middle School Idol, brings a childish glee in her that Kyoko tries to hamper down and drags her into her crazy, fun schemes, costume included.
her bold freedom is beyond charming; Haru is no one but herself and Kyoko falls a little bit in love every time she sees it.
in the future that never was, Kyoko's reality comes crashing down. her brother's affection and Tsuna's lies (or was it the other way around?) can no longer satisfy her. they say they want to protect her. all Kyoko sees is her cage getting tighter.
And yet she does nothing. she's always been good at pretending and Kyoko isn't sure she's ready to let go of her world just yet. so she continues the charade.
she was always glad to pretend. a grace and a service to the others around her, she'd gladly be the angel who accepted everyone, the princess to be protected, the ideal everyone envied, admired and chased after. if it made everyone around her happier it was worth it. if it gave them a peace of mind it was worth it.
or maybe, just maybe, she was too afraid of what would happen if she ever let that mask slip.
but it cracks under pressure, and Kyoko starts to wonder if it's really worth it anymore.
between Tsuna's affection, her brother's lies and the boys' complicit secrecy lies Hibari Kyoya. his brutality and monstrous strength are legendary in Namimori even before the mafia enters their lives. she never quite got what made him so terrifying and her middle school-self thought his little animal companions were terribly cute.
he should frighten her but he naps at the rooftops of their school, lets Haru name his pets and indulges Kyoko when she asks him to help her brother. he takes good care of his little animals and makes sure Namimori is safe for everyone.
above all, he is honest and independent, painfully so, and Kyoko sometimes wishes she could be a little like him. she has only known him as quiet, but her brother says he really likes to talk, and Kyoko can only wish he'd talk to her too, pass some of his simple, animalistic wisdom to her too.
she sometimes approaches him on the rooftop when he's alone, bringing a little something for Hibird because Haru told her that would make him less hostile. most of the time, he never talks. when he does, it's so little, it leaves Kyoko with more questions than answers.
he never talks about Tsuna's group.
but Tsuna and her brother soon notice her trying to befriend Hibari, and they start pulling her away from him. they're just trying to keep her away from danger, which, according to them, is all the bloodthirsty prefect surrounds himself with. he's trouble, they tell her, and they only want her to be safe.
well, Tsuna does, because her brother actually does like Hibari, but what Tsuna says goes, and his other Guardians will make sure she's safe. a few years later, when Kyoko is made a little more aware of their roles, she can only think how fitting it is that Hibari is the Cloud Guardian. free and independent, never letting anyone or anything tie him down. cages don't exist for him, and Kyoko is sure Hibari wouldn't wish such a fate on his worst enemy.
which is why she feels so much more betrayed when Hibari follows through Tsuna's wishes and lets her be.
she knows she's beautiful.
it started when she was a little girl and adults cooed at her rosy cheeks and honey eyes. she started seeing it more clearly in her teenage years, from how boys her age turned red at her sunny smile and cute giggles. as an adult she notices how men stare at her, and how women envy her.
she is kindness, beauty and everything sweet, and Kyoko knows that's all people see.
it bothers her, but perhaps not as much as it should. she has long learned how to use it her advantage, even if Kyoko never really had the heart to actually manipulate people into doing her bidding.
she settles for batting her eyelashes and letting people draw their own conclusions about her. and if they happen to trip over themselves to please her because she's pretty, or fondly laugh at her obliviousness, then they're free to do so.
after all, Kyoko thinks, if they get disappointed or feel tricked afterwards when they realize she's just human, and not the pretty picture they built in their heads, that's their fault and not hers.
(not that she has that problem all that often- people are more than glad to keep up the illusion all by themselves; they do half of her work, and all Kyoko has to do is play into their fantasies.)
and if that may sound petty, than let it be so; she's allowed to be hurt and bitter when everyone's interested on her outside instead of what may be on the inside. even if she's too much of a coward to let anyone inside.
but see, people are cruel, even in her rose-colored world; Kyoko remembers the bullies who gave her brother his scar, and so she keeps to herself. she can't fight, has to let others do the fighting for her and she'll be damned before she lets go of the only weapon she's ever had. it's the only one she's allowed to keep.
(there's a double-edged sword at her throat; if she's not beauty, what else could she be?)
like every child, Kyoko had plenty of dreams about what she'd be.
a ballerina, a doctor, a police officer. a detective who also danced and healed people! an actor, a teacher, a mom. little Kyoko wanted it because it looked fun and beautiful and when she became a grown up she'd be whatever she wanted to be.
if asked what were her plans for the future, middle school Kyoko would smile and tell them the truth; she's not sure yet. maybe a baker, maybe a nurse.
high school Kyoko would smile and say whatever profession her parents' preferred at the moment. her mind is blank and there's nothing worse or more horrifying than that.
'What do you want to be?'
if she had the power to look into the future, Kyoko knows what her answer would be.
'Nothing like this.'
'Anything but this.'
'nothing is as it seems'. 'don't judge a book for their cover'. these were the rules Kyoko has abided by since she was little. at first because she was a good girl and that was what good girls were supposed to do. later because she understood those words in her bones.
it's not that she's ever thought of her friend as stupid. it's not that she didn't know she could feel or be more than her cheerful energy and childlike happiness despite how she often acted. she's not Tsuna or Gokudera, she likes Haru, sees Haru beyond her skin because she's done the same for Kyoko, crawled under the skin of her perfect illusion and loved and accepted her all the same even if she got cut by the sharp edges of her heart.
the boys continue to lie long after they return from the future that never was. and while Kyoko is happier being far, far away from the bloodshed, content to hold the delicate remains of her rose-colored childhood to herself, she knows Haru is miserable.
wrath looks as lovely as it looks disturbing on her. there's a bitterness swirling under her sugary tone and Kyoko can't tell what scares her more: the blackness in Haru's eyes or how easily she saw them reflected on her own.
it's too bad, Kyoko thinks, that Haru rarely lets it out nowadays. she thinks back to the whole fiasco that was their boycott and understands that they must endure this pain so the boys can have a place to return without worries.
that doesn't mean it isn't lonely.
there's a loneliness only they can share, of two dolls left behind by the man they both admire. she knew what Tsuna thought of her, and she knew what he thought of Haru. as hard as she might try, Kyoko can't ignore the mess they've gotten themselves into. deep down, she knows Haru knows all of this too, and it scares her that her friend has gotten so good at this game, pretending and make-believe.
she's always known they were two halves of the same coin, a reason why the universe put them together. never in a millions years would Kyoko ever wish for her friend to wear the same mask Kyoko has worn her whole life; Haru had become as talented an actress as Kyoko is without anyone noticing, and she'd done nothing to stop it.
growing up, Kyoko thinks, should be more freeing than this.
but at least she's not alone in this cage.
there are many things Kyoko misses from her childhood and many she doesn't.
one particular memory that is dear to her unambiguously is the first sleepover that she had with Haru, Chrome and Uni.
they talked and played and laughed. they stuffed themselves with snacks and sweets until they were almost sick and they really were just kids at the moment. just girls.
they had a lot more sleepovers after that for a few years. sometimes Bianchi and Hana joined them, despite the 'childishness' of it all. there was laughter and warmth and she wasn't alone.
(she carefully wipes away the unspoken tears in Uni's eyes from her perfect photograph and misremembers Chrome's newest scars and wounds as scratches. she ignores Bianchi's solemn eyes and the questions in Haru's own, and focuses on Hana, who knows less than she does and still manages to keep her grounded. everything is perfect and they're all fine.)
yes, Kyoko really misses those times.
sometimes Kyoko wishes somebody would yell at her.
she's never liked confrontation, one of the reasons she pretended to know nothing, why she had trouble standing up herself and for others since her middle school days. (and, part of her justifies, not unreasonably, that whenever she did try to speak her mind she was shot down, shoved aside or dismissed, like the mindless child they all thought she was)
it is also why she's never talked with Haru about that. Tsuna.
her shattered heart grows sharper every year, after every battle and bloodshed untold and Kyoko should be more apologetic, but she isn't.
it's no secret to anyone how Haru feels about Tsuna. not even the man in question himself. but that mattered little to him. it was clear to all, including both women, that Tsuna only ever had eyes for Kyoko.
she doesn't love him, but she doesn't hate him either. there are times when Kyoko doesn't mind the possibility of them; he's her savior, her knight-in-shining armor dressed in nicely-cut suits and warm smiles. he's loved (the image of) her for years now, remains relentlessly devoted to her, even with Haru's own relentless devotion to him.
it's wicked and it's foul but a part of Kyoko enjoys how he always chose her. he could go to Haru, brilliant, devoted, just and kind Haru, but he doesn't. he never would. Kyoko owned his heart, and for that, she had power she'd never know otherwise.
(and she'd take whatever measly amount she could get)
there are times, however, when she hates him for it. because he loves her because she is beautiful and everything he was not in middle school (what a lie). she hates him because he doesn't see her poison, and she hates him for forcing Haru into the same role Kyoko has been forced into.
because as miserable as their bond can be, Haru is her soulmate, and yet Tsuna has won her love without earning it. he knocks Haru down and puts Kyoko on a pedestal- it's the same and that's the greatest tragedy of it all; Tsuna doesn't see Haru in a different way he doesn't see Kyoko.
he less than loves Haru but Haru loves him and she wilts. there's an ugly feeling in her heart; Kyoko seethes behind a pretty smile, pretends not to see him staring at her and moves to grab Haru out of the room; it's time for their monthly cake-feast, she tells the boys.
she can feel Haru staring at her. there's a heavy pause before her soulmate entwines their fingers together. it feels like forgiveness and Kyoko doesn't know how to feel about that.
sometimes Kyoko just really wanted someone to yell at her.
when they were younger, Haru was the one who liked fairytales more.
(she still is, actually, it's just that Kyoko's gained a newfound appreciation for them ever since she met Haru.)
myths, folklore and so many more fantastic stories; from Japanese to Greek to some obscure stories Kyoko is now sure were Haru's own invention, her friend loved to tell her stories.
back then she giggled at her antics, found it cute in her odd, almost childlike, Haru-esque way, how enthusiastic she was about those stories.
and despite having grown out of them even before she met Haru- or so she liked to tell herself- she always looked forward to 'Haru-Haru story time'. her friend was quite the storyteller and Kyoko found herself entranced every time Haru began to spin one of her tales.
they were sweet, or sad, or funny, or just plain strange, but never bitter, never as hard to swallow as her brother's excuses, and that just made Kyoko appreciate Haru's stories even more.
(she immerses herself into fairytales of her own, a little world where she is happy and everyone is safe, and somehow, it's so much more believable than what dear brother tells her; then again, Kyoko's never been anything if not charitable to her brother's ability to lie.)
this she would keep to herself, but Haru's 'ghost stories' were still her favorites. even if Haru did like to add Namahage for whatever reason to almost half of them.
it is Haru who gets married first, and not Kyoko, despite general expectations.
surprisingly it's not Tsuna. it figures Haru would be the first one to break away from their twisted dynamic. because as fragile as she could be, easy to cry and easy to frighten, honest Haru who's always worn her heart on her sleeve could never bring herself to let her heart shiver so easily; she let go, and little by little, Haru was alive again.
most surprising was who she decided to share the rest of her life with- one of the monsters Tsuna had faced in his younger days. she hears the whispers from strangers and friends alike, and a frown threatens to break Kyoko's face.
her friend isn't stupid and she isn't naive; Haru is a force of nature in her own merit, and Kyoko knows she battles with her love and bravery better than anyone else. she approaches the happy couple, wishes to see who's stealing Haru away from her and comes a few steps away from them. Haru smiles at her with her eyes and soul and envelops her in the tightest bear-hug she can- it's brighter than the sun and Kyoko returns the hug as best she can without wrinkling the fabric of her dress.
when Haru tells her she loves her, Kyoko presses her lips together and digs her nails into her palms; it's all she can do not to cry. her smile mirrors the bride's as she tells her soulmate that she loves her too. the bride holds her even tighter than before and Kyoko thinks she hears her spine crack a little. she hears a little sniffle, and it's only then she knows Haru too is on the verge of tears. she detangles herself from their embrace and turns to the husband. she smiles sweetly at him before playfully telling the (monster) man he'd better treat Haru right; neither Kyoko nor the Vongola would take kindly to anyone hurting their precious family.
the man looks at her, or maybe through her, studying her. it's unnerving. the corner of his lips twitch upwards. he looks like he knows something she doesn't, like there's some sort of unshared joke and for a second Kyoko has the disturbing feeling he might be pleased with the threat.
she's inclined for more than a second to tear Haru away from his claws and into her own arms where she would be safe and where she belongs because Haru was hers, when he nods. 'I will', he tells her, a million words unsaid but heard. and Kyoko knows he means it, because he turns to Haru and in that moment his mask slips and he's bare- no longer a monster from her childhood, but simply a man in love. it's then and there that Kyoko knows they'll get along just fine, in-laws in spirit and all. he loves Haru as much as Kyoko does (but not more, she childishly maintains to herself) and that is enough for her.
her mind is calm, her heart a little less so; Haru has found someone who stared at her poison and shattered remains and all that she could be and wanted her for it, as much as he wanted her for her kindness and warmth and strength. Kyoko feels happy for her and perhaps a bit wistful, a little envious.
she wonders if she too could find her own prince-monster-husband and quietly hopes.
Haru is gone and Kyoko is lonely.
she's not really gone, gone, but not having her best friend by her side like before takes a toll on Kyoko.
there's rarely anyone to talk to these days; Bianchi and Chrome are often out on missions and Hana can't visit the mansion all that often. Uni is also busy leading her own famiglia. Lambo and I-Pin are busy with studies and training and hormones, while Fuuta continuously hops between many allied families and branches to do his job. Spanner, Giannini, Shouichi, her brother and all the other Guardians are very busy and sometimes it takes days until she sees a familiar face again.
in and out, the Guardians go and Kyoko as always has to prepare herself to welcome them with open arms and a smile, willfully ignoring the smell of blood on their clothes, the bruises, the somber looks in their eyes. she smiles at their nervous stares and laughs at their excuses, as always buying into their lies.
(ignorance is bliss. and Kyoko is happy.)
she's the calm presence they crave, the love and warmth and normalcy they fight for, and so with a patience reserved for her beloved family and with the grace she developed over the years, perfected with one Nana Sawada, Kyoko works and works until she's dry.
(and can't she hesitate and she can't flinch. they're almost like wounded animals, Kyoko thinks, ready to flee from her at any moment. her brother and Tsuna are terribly afraid, always afraid. of what, Kyoko doesn't know. so she closes her eyes and holds whatever remains of the boys from her childhood with gentle hands and a light grasp)
she never asks them to tell her what's going on anymore, and doesn't wait for them to tell her either. her friend's absence does make it a little harder for her because there's hardly anyone to talk to who really understands and empathizes with her position. some days are harder than others and Kyoko almost finds herself wishing they'd tell her something, anything. those are the days, she finds herself quietly waiting for Tsuna or her brother to come and confide in her, to open themselves and be vulnerable with her like they sometimes used to when they were kids.
maybe then she could allow herself to be a little vulnerable too.
so she waits.
but nobody ever tells her anything.
not even Tsuna.
sometimes they don't even bother with lies, they vanish for days without a trace without saying anything and come back only to feed her another excuse, silently asking for forgiviness.
and that, Kyoko considers a broken promise. if she were stronger or weaker or both, Kyoko would ask them what happened, and instead of accepting whatever lie they have prepared, she would look them in the eyes and ask them again. but she doesn't and she can't, because Kyoko is also afraid of breaking the status quo. so she contents herself with Chrome's honest but vague answers and swallows the lies Tsuna and her brother feed her.
only Haru and Uni provide a light when they can. if they could.
if Kyoko allowed them.
they call her, invite her over for tea and cakes like when they were kids, and talk, talk, talk. about everything and nothing, and if they give her a chance to spill her heart on the table, then she hesitates a few seconds too late before they're separated again and she has to go back to the Vongola mansion.
they always ask her without fail, not in exact words, no, although sometimes they were that blunt. but mostly, she could see it in their eyes.
'Do you want to know?'
did she want to know? about what? about who?
feigning ignorance is Kyoko's forte and she brushes the questions away. 'Are you happy?', they seemed to ask, 'Are you alright?', and that just irritated her. because wherever she went, people really just wanted to fuss over her, take care of her.
that was what Kyoko thought, until one day, when the three of them were together, and Haru, seconds before her bodyguards came to retrieve her, plain and simple asked her.
'What do you want?'
her mouth opened but no sound came. and soon, Kyoko was lead out of the mansion, the car and the bodyguards already waiting for her.
what did she want?
the first and last time Kyoko sacrifices herself for her family is actually entirely for herself. it's also her proudest achievement and her life's work.
the Vongola has had many allies over the years, new and old, linked through bonds that only seemed to get stronger in Tsuna's reign. sometimes, to ensure their long-standing alliance would remain, the famiglias would send over members of their own famiglia to the other- through projects, as a helping hand.
through marriage.
the Cavallone was one such famiglia.
with the head of the Cavallone famiglia still unmarried, both Vongola and Cavallone agreed that this was the perfect opportunity to strengthen their bond even more. Dino Cavallone was to marry one of the Vongola's own.
the search for a suitable bride began, preferably one close to Tsuna's own circle, as they were sure to be trustworthy and kind. one with a similar personality and attitude to Nana Sawada, some suggested, would be even better, as she was considered the perfect wife by so many mafiosi who had the luck to meet her in person, and could confirm the glowing praises that came from their esteemed CEDEF advisor, Iemitsu Sawada.
it was no surprise then, that Kyoko was judged to be the perfect candidate for the role.
all this was explained to her, one sudden day, when Kyoko was summoned to a large room she'd never been to before. there was Tsuna and Gokudera and Reborn who she recognized first. then there were Basil, and Tsuna's father, Iemitsu, and Dino and Romario. last there was Tsuna's grandpa, or at least that was what she thought he was because that's what Tsuna called him, and a few other men she'd never seen before.
a long talk took place and they explained to her why they were here and what they wanted her to do. they told her what that meant for the Vongola and the Cavallone and asked her to think about it. they expected the answer within a week.
'What do you want to do?'
for the first time the choice is hers. her brother assures her she doesn't have to do this if she doesn't want to; she can tell Tsuna wants to tell her the same but as the Boss he can't. because he'd be asking her as man. likely a Reborn-like punishment awaited him if he acted more man then the perfect Boss he was supposed to be, and Kyoko pities him a little. but just a little.
the fateful day arrives and Kyoko has long since had her answer. they welcome her, this time there's just Dino, Tsuna, Gokudera and Reborn. it's a more familiar environment, and they can almost pretend there are no heavy expectations, no scary duty. but it does feels a little lighter, and Kyoko is grateful they are being so considerate of her feelings even now, and that they're always thinking about her comfort, even if she finds it a bit unnecessary.
her gaze travels across the room. Reborn and Dino have neutral expressions, albeit the latter's is infinitely kinder and much more patient then the hitman's. Gokudera is frowning as usual and Tsuna, oh her dear Tsuna looks like he has his heart on his hand. he hides it well but Kyoko can read people better than anyone gives her credit for, and in Tsuna's eyes, she can see a silent plea; 'please don't do this, please don't leave me'.
(for once Tsuna is the one who's helpless and she's calling the shots, because what he wants doesn't matter. her heart smiles.)
if this was a time back when they were younger and naive, when she still had faith Tsuna would come to see her, really her, and pull her up to their throne as an equal, maybe she'd have considered it. maybe if this was back when she liked the idea of them, when she returned the feelings of that brave, not-so-ordinary boy who saved her so many times, she'd have given in.
but this was then and this is now and Kyoko regrets nothing.
and although she almost enjoys the way his heart shatters and almost smiles at how Gokudera wishes to murder her with his eyes, it's not without kindness that she rejects him. he may have deluded himself, but Kyoko now knows they'd be both miserable together, because she has been miserable in his mansion for a while and would continue to be hadn't this opportunity appeared to all of them.
(because someone has to be strong one)
'What do you want to do?'
she smiles and says 'yes'.
a few months later, and she's Kyoko Cavallone.
her husband is more prince than monster, and like Tsuna, has a soft exterior but an indestructible will.
unlike Tsuna, however, Dino Cavallone is one of the most cunning people she's ever met, and behind his kind smiles and adorable clumsiness lies a frighteningly competent mafia boss. why this surprised Kyoko as much as it did she couldn't say- he has been a mafia boss for far longer than Tsuna, also trained by the hellish hitman Reborn himself.
he had her fooled at the start, and perhaps in that Kyoko had met her match.
his kindness and compassion were very genuine though and that was a blessing Kyoko would be forever grateful for.
her routine is very similar to what she did back with the Vongola, with a few more chores to be done at the household. the men aren't cold but they aren't the warmest either. they don't know her and they don't treat her like she's special just because she's Tsuna's friend. they receive her as they would any strangers and although it hurts, Kyoko loves them for it.
and she works and works, gradually gains their trust and respect as the new lady of the house until she really is one of their own. the change is subtle but slowly Kyoko really does feel like this could be her home.
and it all starts one night, when Dino catches her crying to herself for the first time.
she's in bed, holding a framed photo. it's from ten years ago or so, when things were simpler and the kids were little and she could go to the cake shop with Haru whenever she wanted. a few tears drop on the glass and she misses them and she can't help it.
a gilded cage it was but at least it had her family. she feels so lonely and Kyoko wonders if she was too hasty, if she had been too bitter, if she made a mistake coming here.
she's so caught in her own misery, she almost doesn't feel the sudden extra weight on the bed, and the warmth he exudes is so inviting she almost leans back. she doesn't. a few seconds go by before he turns her to him and silently waits for her permission. she nods and he wipes away her tears and brings her into his arms. he tells her he understands how difficult it must be to be away from her family but assures her that he'll be there for her. he is her husband, she is family and he'll not leave her alone.
she can't hold it in. Kyoko cries harder and Dino lets her. she cries for hours and he doesn't let go. she could take as long as she needed, he tells her. she could cry for as long as she wanted.
at the end she feels her eyes sting and she feels her runny nose. she's pretty sure her eyes and face are blotchy and red and she jokes that she must look horrible. it is then that she dares to look at him. he cradles her face between his hands and he is so, so gentle. but it's the affectionate, compassionate look in his eyes that makes her want to start crying all over again. he jokes back and says 'a little'.
because Kyoko has never felt so vulnerable. and she has never felt more beautiful.
afterwards they have a long talk about what Kyoko can do. about what she wants to do. it's not the last time they talk about it, nor the last time Kyoko breaks down like this.
but it gets better every time. and soon enough, Kyoko can safely say that this is the happiest she has ever been.
she doesn't visit the Vongola all that often, but the Vongola and the Cavallone are close, and Kyoko soon finds she loves throwing parties for her friends and family much more than being a hostess to the big fishes of the mafia (she loves her job regardless).
this time she's helping Tsuna with his daughter's third birthday. she giggles when the little girl runs to her father and cheerfully demands he pick her up; 'up, Papa, up!'
she's clearly the apple of his eye and if it was hard for Tsuna to refuse the important girls in his life anything, even back when he was a scrawny fourteen year-old, then this was surely a herculean task. she pauses to observe father and daughter for a bit. her laugh is strong and her red locks shine against the room's light. her friend- and Kyoko really is glad to say they still are friends- is glowing with happiness; Tsuna has found a good wife and although Kyoko doesn't know if he's in love with her, she does know he loves both wife and daughter deeply and is loved back just as much. no lies, no delusions, as it should be.
she turns away and there's a skip in her step when she goes to her other friends.
her brother is doing well- or extremely well as he likes to shout- as always. he tells her he'll finally gather the courage to ask Hana to marry him by the end of the month, and Kyoko has to hold in a delighted squeal. Yamamoto and Gokudera are a little busy, with the latter unnecessarily running all over the room to 'make sure the Tenth's daughter's birthday will go without a hitch', and the former is at his side teasing him and laughing and making sure Gokudera doesn't blow anyone up before the party really starts.
out of the Mist Guardians Kyoko has only seen Chrome but that's the usual, and she knows Hibari is standing guard outside as an excuse to avoid crowds. Lambo and I-Pin and Fuuta may be grown into young adults but to her they will always be the little kids she helped take care of, and she would pinch their cheeks for good measure if Haru didn't go ahead and did it for both of them as much as she could.
she still saw Haru the most. Hana and Uni were close seconds, followed by the many visits Chrome and Bianchi paid her, but she couldn't help but enjoy her tea time with Haru the most. they could almost go back to those times when they were fourteen, and she found that their smiles were finally as genuine as then.
she never learns to fight and she doesn't know what flame she has as of the moment. she doesn't really go on missions with her husband and is content to be the reserved and gentle girl she's always been. she's not that involved in her husband's work and he spares her the sordid details, but he does tell her the whens and whats of his missions. she does use her skills from time to time; at parties she charms allies and non-allies alike, and she tells Dino who she thinks he can trust and who can be convinced of their cause, who can be swayed to their side.
as for her husband, Kyoko is lucky- her marriage is not a facade, so she no longer feels the need to maintain hers. her husband completely lowers his guard around her, and only her. he's more man and husband than prince nowadays- although he'll always have that 'Prince Charming' aura that never fails to make her swoon- and he's always there whenever she needs someone to hold her, whenever she needs someone to wipe away her tears. they're partners and to support and be supported in return is a blessing Kyoko never dreamt to have, but she got it anyway.
most of the times though, Kyoko is just content to manage their home and take care of the men and women working under her husband. she loves taking care of their family- and it really is their family now- and Kyoko could not ask for a greater happiness.
because they, husband and family and friends, are always there for her. when she's poison and when she's angel. in sickness and in health. in sadness and in anger. through the good and the bad.
because she falls a little in love with the man who kissed the sharp glass shards of her heart and loved both poison and beauty a little more everyday.
because even when she's alone (and God knows how she needs to be alone sometimes, what with her overenthusiastic family- both of them- and her eccentric friends), Kyoko doesn't really feel alone anymore. well, maybe a little, from time to time, but that's alright. her smile is brighter than the sun, and these days Kyoko can honestly say she means it.
'What do you want do?'
and for now, she would tell you, with secrecy in her smile and love in her eyes:
"This."
A/N: and thus here lies my work, a fruit born of love and spite, inevitable when the author loves the female characters negleted by their creator and hated by the fandom. this is mainly word-vomit, but hopefully it's enjoyable word-vomit. one day I will master the ability to tell much longer stories in fewer words, but today it's not that day. hopefully I will also write for the other female characters (mainly Haru, but I have a few ideas here and there for others).
thank you for reading this until the end, those of you who still dare to lurk in this almost dead archive for this mostly dead fandom. and with this, I'm gone.