Chapter 26: Irondad's Daycare
After spending the rest of Saturday training in the workshop and reciting Vine references, the idea of spending Sunday by introducing Ned and MJ to Tony is enough to make Peter want to bounce off the walls. Peter practically leaps out of bed Sunday morning, which catches Tony by surprise, and hurries into the kitchen to eat breakfast.
"You're up surprisingly early. I didn't think it was possible for teenagers to be up before noon on the weekends," Tony chastises. There isn't anyone else in the penthouse besides the two, as opposed to yesterday when there were at least three people at any given time. Peter notes how nice it is to have the penthouse relatively peaceful.
"I wanted to be ready for when Ned and MJ come over!" he quickly explains as he pours himself a bowl of cereal. He sits and eats his cereal at the counter as Tony eyes his rushed movements.
"Alright, alright, just slow it down a bit. You just got out of the Medbay, I don't wanna have to take you back because you decided to choke on your Wheaties," Tony reminds with a stern hint to his voice. He really doesn't want to relive seeing Peter on a gurney anytime soon. Or ever. Ever is good. "Wait, did you just say two people are coming? I only agreed to one. I can only handle so much prepubescence in one place," he adds, somewhat serious.
"Don't worry, Mr. Stark!" Peter assures with a full mouth. "You'll barely know MJ is there. Unless she decides to interrogate you. It's usually a fifty-fifty shot. And Ned will only freak out for about the first half hour, then he'll stop squealing." Tony rubs his forehead. When he decided to start spending more time with the kid, he didn't expect it to turn into a babysitting gig.
"Fine. But if they break anything, they buy it," he says with zero intention of enforcing it. Peter could burn down the entire Tower and Tony would consider paying him. He figures he owes it to the kid. Still, hell would freeze over before he'd ever admit it.
"We won't break anything, honest. You'll barely know we're here!" Peter knows for a fact that Tony will definitely know they're there. MJ will bombard Tony with ethical questions and Ned will burst everyone's eardrums with his fanboyish screams. It'll be a long, eventful day, but Peter can't wait.
"Somehow I highly doubt that," Tony grumbles. Peter sits at the bar once he has finished his quick breakfast. "Thirsty? Whiskey?" Tony offers with the playful rise of his eyebrow. Peter rolls his eyes, but can't keep that smile off his face.
"May would kill you." Tony snorts.
"She'd kill you and me both, kid," he counters, taking a sip of his coffee. Peter stalls, raising an eyebrow.
"How much coffee do you drink?" he asks curiously. Tony responds without lifting his eyes away from his Stark Phone,
"Five. Maybe six if I have to get work done." Peter's eyes slowly widen.
"Mr. Stark that's so insanely unhealthy. Like, that amount of coffee and caffeine can cause insomnia and-"
"That's kind of the point, kid," Tony hums.
"No, it's not good! Too much can make you more irritable and you hear things that aren't there and you get anxiety, like bad anxiety! And, and glaucoma and irritable bowel syndrome and osteoporosis and heart disease and-"
"Pete, the amount of pure stress that's radiating off of you is going to make me stressed," Tony interrupts Peter's anxious rambling. "Relax, I'm not gonna keel over because of some measly coffee." Peter wants to keep proving his point, but decides not to since Tony will have to deal with three teenagers soon. He deserves his coffee for now. Peter just doesn't want him to have anymore health issues. Tony already has a heart condition and PTSD, Peter doesn't think he could handle much else coupled with Iron Man. If anything happened to Tony, Peter wouldn't- "What on Earth are you overthinking about now?" Tony inquires with slight exasperation. He has given up on trying to get Peter to stop overthinking altogether.
"Hm?" Peter perks up. "Oh! Um, do you ever think about how the brain named itself?" Tony stares at the kid, slowly lowering his mug and setting it down on the countertop.
"Lord help me if your friends are anything like you." Peter smiles proudly as he says,
"They're exactly like me. Well, Ned is. I'm sure you'll really appreciate MJ's company." Peter smirks ever so slightly and crosses his arms confidently. Tony raises an eyebrow.
"Oh really? Can't wait," he says with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. "What time are they coming over?"
"Around noon?" Peter answers with uncertainty. MJ will probably be extremely punctually. Ned…not so much. He tends to lose track of time when he's frantic.
"Lucky me, I get to feed three ravenous teens. One of which has a metabolism that's only bested by Cap," Tony gripes as he stands. He types on his phone, giving it his full attention. "You guys want pizza? Chinese? Shawarma? Larb, since I've heard you like it some much?" he suggests. Peter smiles faintly. He remembered the larb story.
"Pizza's good. Thanks, Mr. Stark." Tony hums in response as he orders a few pizzas. Peter goes through Tony's words in his head. Tony seems to be better with mentioning Captain America, but he never talks about what happened. Probably for good reason, but Peter's curiosity starts to eat away at him. Isn't Tony always the one telling him to talk about how he feels? Otherwise he won't get any better? "Can I ask you something?" Peter breaks the brief silence. Tony sighs, mentally readying himself for his question.
"Shoot."
"What, um, what happened between you and Captain America? Like, I know you guys didn't agree on the accords but…he's your friend." Peter tries his best to put his thoughts into words. If he and Ned were to get into an argument, they'd find a way to work it out no matter what. He wouldn't let it escalate to literally fighting Ned, especially in a different country. Tony tenses, his typing momentarily halted. He supposes that he'll have to talk to the kid about it sooner or later. Well, not all of it.
"He…we…" he sighs, rubbing his forehead, "it's complicated." Peter waits patiently with his eyes unwavering on Tony. "We didn't agree about a lot of things, the accords included obviously. Things were worked out, for lack of a better term, and we went back to cooperating for all of two seconds." Tony crosses his arms protectively over his chest. They block the light of his arc reactor from meeting Peter's eyes. "Cap's friend…did something and it's something I just can't forgive. And he hid it from me. They both did. My trust was broken. It's hard to get past something like that." Tony tries to keep his voice as light as possible, considering the heavy subject. Still, he keeps his tone lighthearted for Peter.
"Trust is hard to come by. I'm sorry that happened, Mr. Stark," Peter genuinely apologizes. "Do you think it was intentional?" He hopes that there wasn't any malicious content. If Ned had done something terrible, Peter would still be there for his best friend. Because no matter what happened, he knows Ned is a good person.
"It seemed pretty intentional." Tony almost snaps, but keeps his temper under control. "You're supposed to be able to trust your team. No matter what. Teams can't function without it. But...no, the, uh, action on the friend's part wasn't exactly on purpose." He takes a deep breath to calm himself down. He can't believe this kid has gotten him to talk about Rogers and the Accords even when profession therapists called in by Pepper couldn't get him to talk.
"Do you think you guys will be okay?" Peter asks hesitantly, with obvious hope in his voice. Tony doesn't want to lie to him, because honestly he doesn't think the team will recover. At least not anytime soon. He won't recover. Not after what happened. Still, he finds himself saying,
"Yeah, bud. I do. Eventually." He'll be damned if he's going to be another reason why Peter doesn't have hope in the world. The kid has already seen more than his fair share of trauma, and he's only sixteen. Too young for trauma. "C'mon, let's order the pizzas and then you have to get dressed. Unless you want to greet Ted and DK in your pajamas." Peter rolls his eyes with a smile.
"Now you're just messing up their names on purpose," he catches on. Tony just smirks before they pick out toppings the pizzas and place their order. Peter quickly gets changed in his room and walks out just in time for the elevator doors to reveal MJ. He smiles to her as she inspects the penthouse with impartial eyes.
"Hey, MJ!" he greets enthusiastically. MJ's curly hair is tied up in a bun and her eyes shift to meet Peter's.
"Glad to see you're still alive, Parker." Her tone is monotonous, but the small smile on her lips shows Peter that she's actually glad to see him. Even if she won't show it. Tony stands from the bar, clearing his throat as he makes his way over to introduce himself.
"Nice to finally meet one of Peter's friends. I'm-"
"Tony Stark. Yeah. Pleasure. You won't be consuming any alcoholic beverages, will you?" MJ questions with her eyes narrowed. Peter saw this coming, just maybe not this soon. Tony looks back at the bar he just walked from, then to MJ again.
"That would require a bar with alcohol. Mine has none," he assures. He's almost getting a sense of déjà vu from when Rhodey drilled him about the exact same thing.
"Good. That would be stupid," MJ points out before walking the rest of the way to Peter. Tony decides to take it as a compliment.
"MJ!" Peter borderline scolds, but he knows better. MJ shrugs, looking completely unapologetic.
"Adam," F.R.I.D.A.Y. mimics Peter's tone. Peter holds back a laugh and MJ looks up to the ceiling with a raised eyebrow.
"Did the A.I. just make a Vine reference?" MJ inquires, slightly amused.
"Fri, stop shouting random names," Tony scolds.
"Damn, Daniel. Back at it again with the tinted glasses." Tony gasps indignantly, his eyes wide behind his pink tinted sunglasses. Peter, however, tries to stay on track.
"That's not the point," he turns to MJ, "you've been here for, like, two seconds and you've already found a way to call a genius stupid," he huffs. Sometimes he forgets how unusual his friends can be. MJ nonchalantly shrugs her shoulders.
"I didn't call him stupid. I said drinking alcohol would be stupid. Which it would be," she fires back effortlessly. "Where's Thing Two?"
"He'll probably be here soon. You know how he is when he freaks out." Peter gives her a pointed look and she slowly nods in understanding.
"I hope you gave Stark a heads up," is all MJ says before sitting on the couch. "Speaking of which, did you ask him my question?"
"What question?" Tony inquires. Peter's eyes widen.
"No, because I already know the answer! That question is insulting!" he hisses through clenched teeth.
"How do you know the answer when you haven't asked?" MJ challenges. Peter just groans and leans on the couch, knowing he'll never win any sort of argument against her. "Hey, Stark, do you believe in global warming?" Tony is completely taken aback by the question.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Global warming is a scientific fact. The ice caps aren't melting for their own amusement," he answers indignantly. MJ smiles slightly. Here we go, Peter thinks dreadfully.
"And what about the 'historically low temperatures' recently," MJ quotes the recent political figures that have opposed the idea of the concept. Tony stares at her dumbfounded, then shifts his eyes to Peter.
"Is she serious?" he asks, jerking his thumb in MJ's direction. Peter rubs his face and motions for Tony to answer the question. "Global warming and climate change aren't just about the planet getting hotter in temperature. It doesn't matter if there's 'all-time low temperatures.' Greenhouse gases, like carbon dioxide, accumulating in the atmosphere soak up and trap solar radiation like a sponge. Climate change, which every single human being should believe in, doesn't have to deal with how damn cold it gets. It's about extreme temperatures. You could have the coldest day in history and still have climate change. Doesn't make a difference. Climate change is extreme lows and highs. The deviation between the two is what's so bad. We're getting more and more days of drastic high and low temperatures. Happy?" Tony crosses his legs and folds his arms expectantly.
"What's your opinion on vaccines?" MJ questions instead of answering.
"To get them," Tony responds as if it's the only reasonable answer in the world, which to him it is. To Peter, there's no question about it, but he knows he just has to ride out the questioning. MJ leans back into the couch with a triumphant quirk of her lips.
"You're acceptable," she approves nonchalantly. Tony scoffs as if he was just insulted, making Peter quietly laugh. Peter's phone starts buzzing wildly in his back pocket. He doesn't need to look at it to immediately knows who it is.
"Ned's freaking out," he announces while pulling out his phone.
"Already?" MJ seems unimpressed, but not surprised.
"Already," Peter confirms as he checks the new messages.
Guy in the Chair
Ned: peter oh my god im in abengers tower
Ned: where do i go from here
Ned: i see the elevators you mentioned but theres two really buff guys guarding them
Ned: how am i supposed to get passed them?
Ned: PETER HELP THEYRE INTIMIDATING AND I DONT HAVE MY HAT OF CONFIDENCE
Peter: just say your full name like i told you to
Peter: Mr. Stark told them you were coming
Ned: I CANT TALK TO THEM PETER
Peter: then i guess youre not gonna meet Tony Stark
Ned: FSDVCYNDXS
Ned: THIS IS BEST FRIEND ABUSE
Peter puts his phone away with a chuckle as Tony asks,
"Is he coming or not?" Peter shrugs as he plops down on one of the barstools.
"If he can manage to get past the security in the lobby," he informs. MJ snorts, imagining Ned anxiously stammering in front of the two guards that she simply walked past. It isn't long before the elevator doors open again, unveiling a wide eyed Ned. Pure shock has taken over his face as he takes in the decor of the luxurious penthouse. However, when his eyes land on Tony, his eyes go impossibly wider.
"Holy- you're, you're Tony Stark!" Ned exclaims and clambers over to the group lounging by the bar. "It's so nice to meet you, sir. You have no idea how much of an honor this is." He nervously shakes Tony's hand, who smiles. Tony chooses to ignore how… clammy the teen's hand is.
"I finally get to meet Peter's partner in crime, hm?" Tony indulges Ned a bit, letting him have his moment.
"Yes sir! That's me! Your suit is amazing, sir. All of them are!" Ned trips over his rushed words. Peter just relishes in his best friend's obvious excitement. He had hoped that Ned would be over the moon by all this. Looks like he was right.
"You wouldn't be the one to hacked my spidey suit, would you?" Tony asks with a twinge of amusement in his voice. Ned is caught completely off guard and starts to frantically ramble off barely recognizable apologies. "You must be pretty smart," Tony tags on, causing Ned's jaw to go slack.
"Thank you so much, sir!" Ned stammers. Peter and MJ exchange a look, knowing that they'll never hear the end of this. But they also know how much this just made Ned's life. Ned walks up to Peter in a starstruck daze. "Tony Stark just called me smart." Peter nods with a smile.
"Don't pass out on us, man," he cautions, only partly serious. Ned takes a steadying breath, then looks to Peter.
"Dude, are you even legally allowed to sit here?" He tilts his head in confusion as if just now noticing that Peter is sitting on a barstool.
"That's what I asked!" Peter exclaims before looking to Tony. "See, Mr. Stark!" Tony raises his eyebrows apathetically.
"Yeah. Shocking," he agrees, albeit rather unenthused. Peter catches the sarcasm, but chooses to not point it out. Instead, he excitedly pats the stool next to him. Ned immediately accepts the invitation and hops onto the stool.
"This is the best day of my life," he says breathlessly.
"You're such nerds," MJ points out from the couch.
"You know you're excited, you just won't admit it," Peter challenges with a knowing smile. MJ rolls her eyes, but doesn't make any effort to argue.
"What's Captain America like in real life?" Ned asks, his eyes wide with awe. Peter immediately elbows him in the ribs and gives him a pointed look.
"His shield is the size of a dinner plate and he's an idi-" the rest of F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s reference is cut off by laughter, and even Tony cracks a smile.
"Oh my god you actually did it. F.R.I.D.A.Y. just quoted a Vine!" Ned borderline shouts.
"Isn't it great?!" Peter joins in with a wide smile. Tony chooses not to dwell on it.
"Now that we have all that out of the way," Tony cuts in, "pizza will be here any second and then I'll give you guys the VIP tour." Ned starts freaking out all over again at the thought of them getting a special tour of Stark Tower and Peter doesn't even try to calm him down.
"With fr e sh a voca do," F.R.I.D.A.Y. adds.
"For Christ's sake…" Tony mutters as Ned slowly turns to Peter with his mouth ajar. Tony rubs his forehead and internally repeats to himself that he's enduring this to make everything up to Peter. He can get through this. Hopefully.
True to Tony's word, the pizza is there before they know it and MJ meanders her way to sit with the lot of them as they all eat. Ned asks Tony hypothetical question after question about the Iron Man suits, the latest projects, and everything engineering related. MJ throws in a few morality questions here and there, all of which Tony seems to begrudgingly answer to her satisfaction. Peter stays relatively quiet, watching his closest friends have fun. He takes it in, because a voice in the back of his mind pesters him that this happiness won't last.
Tony's "VIP tour" starts off fairly upfront, starting in the penthouse before going down to the Medbay and so forth. Everything is going well until they reach the workshop.
"And this is where I work on the suits and anything else I decide to spend my time on," Tony announces as he walks into the workshop with his hands clasped behind his back. Ned bolts into the room, gazing at the tech with a spark in his eye whereas MJ saunters in. Peter sits on his usual stool patiently with his legs criss-crossed.
"So this is where you've been spending your time after school, huh?" MJ asks as she walks around.
"Actually, I didn't start coming to the workshop until after Homecoming," Peter informs, internally cringing at the memory. "But yeah, this is where I train and upgrade the suit." He smiles proudly. It's rare when he gets to openly talk about his Spider-Manning with his friends, since he has to be cautious about the possibility of people listening in.
"So, you have F.R.I.D.A.Y. in your suit and the Tower?" Ned asks curiously.
"Yep," Tony pops the "p" and sits in the stool beside Peter.
"How come you gave Peter his own User Interface?" MJ questions with hint of amusement.
"It would be impractical to have the same U.I. in different suits. Two just makes more sense," Tony responds with a shrug. "Besides, I don't want to share mine with this rugrat. Right, Fri?" He smugly crosses his arms.
"Well, thanks for checking in, Boss. I'm still a piece of garbage." F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s answer doesn't seem to phase Tony anymore, but it sends both Ned and Peter into a laughing fit. Even MJ chuckles and playfully rolls her eyes at the two.
"I can't decide if I should reprimand you for insulting yourself or me since I made you," Tony mutters in exasperation. Ned stops laughing long enough to gasp out a strangled,
"I heard the song play in my head." He devolves into more laughs along with Peter.
"But that's my opinion…" F.R.I.D.A.Y. continues to argue with Tony, dragging out the last word.
"Thank you so much, F.R.I.D.A.Y.. This is the best thing ever," Peter says between guiltless giggles.
"My pleasure, Peter. Happy to help," F.R.I.D.A.Y. hums sweetly.
"Now I have teenagers conspiring against me," Tony grumbles as he stands up.
"I can't believe you don't know any of those references," MJ speaks up. "Even I know them and I hated Vine." She makes a disgusted face.
"Give him a break, MJ, it's not his fault. I think he's adapting pretty well," Peter gives Tony some credit, offering him a small smile.
"Thank you! Finally some goddamn appreciation," Tony huffs. Peter's innocent smile morphs into a sly smirk. Mr. Stark shouldn't lower his guard.
"For someone who had once seen dinosaurs roam the earth," Peter adds. Tony's eyes widen at the unexpected jab and he scoffs.
"Oh yeah? You wanna go there?" he challenges, only succeeding in making Peter laugh all over again. MJ smiles at how close the two have become, even though they don't seem to notice it themselves. "Alright, you and F.R.I.D.A.Y. are both grounded. How 'bout them apples?" Tony states with utmost confidence. Of course, F.R.I.D.A.Y. adds in her two cents.
"I am disgusted. I am revolted. I dedicate my life to our lord and savior Tony Stark and this is the thanks I get?" she almost demands. Peter and Ned are practically rolling on the floor from laughter and MJ actually has to put a hand over her mouth to hide her smile.
"You're all banned from the Tower," Tony says without heat. Maybe he's going soft, but there's something about seeing Peter so… genuinely happy that makes him realize that he'd do anything to keep the smile on his face. Which absolutely terrifies him. He cares. He didn't want to actually care, let alone this much. He supposes there's no turning back now, so he just cherishes his brief moment of contentment.