Chapter 5:Severus
Severus's back hit the cracked ground, hard, as he took in the increasingly familiar sight. The clouds had hardly moved an inch since the last time he was in this position, staring up at them, and the sky was still the same sickening shade of faded blue. Sometimes, seeing it through blurred vision, but always there. Flat on his back with his humiliation burning deep in his cheeks. His fists pounded against the ground in frustration as he once again sat up and got shakily to his feet.
"You're not concentratin' Severus," Eileen called accusingly from the other side of the yard. "You need to do better!"
Severus's dark eyes glared moodily in her direction as he braced himself once again for the attack. He was supposed to be casting a silent shielding charm to protect himself from ranged attacks. Whether it was from Tobias's drunken father-son target practice or from another witch or wizard it made no difference. At least, that was what his mother had told him, but Severus suspected it had more to do with his father than with wizard duels.
They had been at it since about half passed the time Tobias left for work, and Severus was doing worse than usual, getting knocked to the ground far more often than he was able to save himself. His frustration at being constantly knocked off his feet and landing painfully on the ground wasn't helping him to focus either. His emotions were clouding his concentration. Well, that, and the ache that was currently spreading itself rapidly throughout his entire body.
Eileen stood her position, poised and dangerous; eyeing her son as though she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that she could cast the spell with needle thin precision faster than he could blink. Severus remained in his defensive stance, watching her carefully. His muscles were locked, ready to react at the slightest indication of movement.
She moved quickly, and Severus's mind snapped to attention, instantly working through the wand movements in his head, his lips moving soundlessly around the word -Protego- he thought desperately. Protego-Protego!
No good, there was a flash of red light that hit him full in the chest, knocking him backwards off his feet. Again. His back made contact with the hardened earth beneath him once more and stars erupted behind his eyes as the back of his head collided with the dirt only a moment later. He lay there unmoving, staring blindly up at the sky as he waited for his vision to clear. Again. He clenched his teeth angrily, his jaw tightening as he wearily sat himself upright, sweat dotting his brow from the exertion.
Eileen had crossed into the perimeter of his vision, her shadow giving her away far before her solid frame had. Her arms were crossed in front of her and she was looking down at him with contempt. Severus couldn't bear to look her in the eye, so instead he continued to sneer distastfully at the ground.
"Severus Tobias Snape," she began firmly. Severus flinched."Do you not understand how important it is for you to be learnin' all this? Do you not know that I need you to be learnin' this for your own good?"
Severus's head bobbed solemnly in response to his mother's question.
"It's. Not. Good. Enough." She emphasized each word acidly as they passed through her lips. "You better start takin' this seriously, because you know I'm only lookin' out for you. Theory is one thing, but it's a whole other matter when we be puttin' it into practice. Especially when you feel you're in real danger. You need to know what to do and, what's more, you need to know it's gonna work."
Severus's hands started fidgeting with the cuff of his trousers, wringing them around his spindly fingers. Still his velvet black eyes avoided his mother's piercing gaze.
Eileen softened slightly and sighed. She knelt down in front of Severus and cupped his face in both of her palms, tilting his head towards her.
"Sev, I know I'm bein' hard on you, but I need you to know I wouldn't be bein' so hard on you if it wasn't important. Trust me."
Severus swallowed hard and whispered, "Y-yes Mum."
"That's my sweet boy. We'll keep practicin' and you practice when you can as long as it's away from your Da. Severus, are you hearin' me? Whatever you do, do not let him catch you at it. When you've finally gotten that down we need to practice the real thing. Do you understand what that means Sev?" Eileen looked into her son's face seriously. "It means we have to put you under real stress, we need to be sure that when it comes down to it, you can do what needs doin'."
Severus's lips tightened into a straight line and his jaw twitched at his mother's suggestion. Somewhere deep down he knew that she was valid in her reasoning, but the thought of what his own mother was willing to do to him 'for his own good' was nothing short of infuriating. Didn't he have enough to deal with from his father? Did he really deserve to get it from her too? It wasn't fair. His whole life, just wasn't fair.
"Yes Mum," he muttered grudgingly.
"Good. Now go on, get out of my sight. It's clear your head ain't here and that ain't no good for anybody. Next time I expect you to be focused up or I'll test you up on Sentirenon good and proper."
Severus got angrily to his feet and stormed off without a backwards glance, pushing his way through the line of trees and disappearing along a familiar trail.
His mother read him like a book. He hated that. He didn't like being so transparent. But in all honesty, his head really wasn't in it. He had been fairly distracted lately, unable to concentrate since the afternoon he spent with Lily Evans. He better get his head back in the game and quick. It wouldn't do to have his defense lessons interrupted by some girl he hardly knew. They were too important.
Yesterday had gone far better than Severus anticipated though, which delighted and thrilled him in a way he didn't want to admit. He'd never had a real friend before and Lily, though a little fiesty, suited him perfectly. She was kind and smart and even though they only hung out once, she had a way of making him feel safe, and not like something unpleasant you'd find stuck to the bottom of your shoe. She treated him like...a person. An equal. Fleetingly he wondered when he would see her again.
He stopped walking for a moment and stood still in silent reflection, gazing up into the canopy of trees, his fists stuffed into his over-large pockets. He had let himself slip a little more than he intended. He would have to be more careful to not let his defenses down too much or too quickly around her. He couldn't afford to have her know too much. Not about him or about his home life. For her best interests as well as his own, he thought sullenly.
He inhaled sharply as he came to this resolution. As soon as his eyes leveled forward, he saw something bright orange come streaking towards him, aimed directly at his head. Severus's dark eyes grew wide with surprise as he held out a hand instinctively to prevent the thing from colliding painfully into his large nose. It bounced off his palm, but in his current state of bewilderment he was unable to close his fingers around it. He stood there attempting to trap it, giving the impression of a one-man, single-handed circus act, as each reflex sent the thing bouncing off various parts of his body with each sporadic flail of his arms.
"Watch it!" A voiced shouted from a nearby distance.
After what felt like much fumbling, Severus's long fingers managed to encase the orange sphere. It felt leathery and cool in his hand. His head shot up, searching for the source of the voice with a look of dubious astonishment.
Lily Evans. She stood across the clearing her hands clasped together in front of her mouth as she watched him nervously. Her hair was down, and fell across her back and shoulders in scarlet waves. She wore faded blue denim shorts and a printed tank top with the same dirty white sandals she wore the previous day. Severus drank in the sight of her standing there and broke out into a huge grin, unable to keep the excitement from showing all over his face.
He waved at her and then raised the hand still holding the orange over his head for her to see. Lily returned his smile and relaxed, her arms dropping to her sides in relief.
"It's a good thing you can do magic better than you can catch" Lily giggled. "You wouldn't have stood a chance on my Jr Softball team."
Severus crossed the clearing to where Lily was standing, his fingernails automatically digging into the soft peel of the fruit as he walked, releasing a sweet citrusy scent into the air as he worked to release it from its tender shell. He hadn't realized how hungry he was. As he came level with her, he popped a couple orange slices into his mouth, chewing silently and tossing Lily an awkward yet grateful smile.
As Severus surveyed the scene before him he soon realized that Lily had come with a strange assortment of items that were stashed away in a rickety tin wagon. There were several planks of wood, a bag of nails, a small can of paint, a paintbrush, a hammer and a few other materials he couldn't quite make out since they were squished into the bottom of the pile, though it was obvious they were made of different types of fabric.
"What's all this for?" Severus asked curiously, waving his free hand at the overloaded wagon. He hoped he hadn't come off as rude.
"Well, this is our place now isn't it?" Lily smiled mischievously. "If we're going to make it a proper place for us to hangout, we're going to need a fort."
"A fort?" Severus blinked.
"Yes Severus, a fort. Every kid needs one. You're just lucky you came across someone as amazing as me," Lily grinned. "I can tell you're not familiar with the concept, so allow me to be of assistance." She bent low in a theatrical bow. "We will take this wood, and paint here, and construct ourselves a suitable stronghold, a place to exist without the pressures of civilized society… A haven if you will."
"What for? If we have the clearing already-"
"To make it special...to make it ours. Plus, what if we wanted to hang out here and it was raining or something?" Lily tapped her temple. "Entertaining and practical."
Lily picked up a few of the boards from the wagon and started handing them to Severus, piling them on higher and higher until his knees began to shake under the weight of them. Brushing passed him she crossed to the middle of the clearing, her eyes flitting from tree to tree with her arms crossed in front of her. As she assessed the space, one finger tapped listlessly against the crook of her arm.
"Bring them over here Sev, I think in between these two would be brilliant!" Lily pointed to a couple of pine trees with a fair enough distance between them without feeling restrictive. Though Severus wasn't exactly a stranger to hard labor, he didn't really have any experience constructing things and it worried him slightly that he would look the fool in front of Lily. He secretly hoped that she would take the reins on this one.
Closing the distance to where she had indicated, Severus scrambled over and hastily dropped the boards at the base of the two trees. He shook his arms out to ease the straining ache in his (still sore) muscles and let out a heavy yet shaky breath.
"Excellent!" Lily exclaimed. She ran to the wagon to come back only a moment later with the hammer and bag of nails in her arms. She beamed at Severus as she knelt down to pick up the first plank of wood.
They worked tirelessly into the late afternoon. Lily inadvertently creating an unspoken system between the two of them. She would arrange the boards until she was satisfied and then hold them steady as she waited for Severus to secure them together with a nail or two. More than once the structure had collapsed, but with their consistent stubbornness and Lily's craftiness they managed to create a sturdy working structure that not only stayed upright but had enough space for the two of them to sit or lie beneath comfortably.
By the time they were convinced of its durability, the structure came to resemble a campy lean-to, though Severus thought it looked more like an animal stall from certain angles. It had a full backside that stretched between both trees, two smaller walls that jutted out passed the front of the trunks and a rough slanting roof. Though crooked in a couple places, the overall effect was of a small, yet sufficient hovel.
Both of them stood back to admire their work. Lily was positively beaming. She once again ran to the wagon, tossing the hammer and leftover nails in a desolate corner and returned with a large crinkly piece of blue material. Severus cocked an eyebrow as Lily flew passed him and began to spread the material out across the slanted roof.
"A tarp," she answered shortly, apparently needing no vocal cues from Severus to explain herself. "Extra insurance. Not that I don't trust your handiwork or anything, but I'd rather not wait until it rains to find out if the roof is going to flood us out." She smirked.
"What are we going to call it?" Severus asked as he watched her strap the tarp to the nearest tree trunk.
"As in name it?" Lily frowned. "Why would it need a name?"
"Oh-" Severus flushed. "It's just- I thought- in the Wizarding World it's sort of traditional for places to have a name."
"It is?"
"Yes- Well, that's how we get around you see, especially by Floo. I guess- I mean- it doesn't have to. You can state addresses too, but it can get kind of drawn-out. It's faster for places to have names."
"Are we going to have a Floo?" Lily teased as she secured another corner.
Severus hadn't thought of that and he instantly regretted having said anything at all. His face burned and he looked down at his feet to hide his embarrassment as he stammered incomprehensibly. Lily laughed as she finished tying the tarp down against the roof.
"Calm down Magic-Man, I'm only joking" she laughed as she approached him and shoved him playfully in the shoulder. "I like the idea of naming it. Especially if its tradition." Lily turned around and stared thoughtfully at the tiny shack. "Well, it's between two pine trees, so I think it should start with the word pine," Lily offered.
"Pine Quarters?" Severus suggested. Lily snorted back laughter.
"Nah, that sounds too much like Hindquarters," she giggled. "Pine Palace?"
"This is hardly a Palace," Severus choked "And besides, do you mind manning it up a bit? Pine Palace sounds far too girly."
"Fair enough, how about...Pine Peak? The trees we chose are the tallest in the clearing...I didn't notice before-"
"Pine Peak," Severus repeated slowly in contemplation. "Yeah, I like that."
"Great!" Lily said clapping her hands together loudly. "I was beginning to worry that I brought that paint for nothing." She went back to the wagon with Severus following shortly behind. Selecting the can of paint that had been previously neglected she cracked it open with the back of the hammer and picked up one of the few remaining boards. "Sev, do you mind grabbing those blankets over there?"
Severus did as he was asked, shoveling what turned out to be three large blankets into his arms and following Lily back to the mouth of the fort. She dipped the paintbrush into the glossy surface of the paint, which turned out to be a rich burgundy and carefully wrote in thick capital letters "PINE PEAK". She considered it a moment and, appearing satisfied, she handed the piece of wood to Severus, who tossed the blankets aside and accepted the pro-offered plank. She dug in her pockets and withdrew a small handful of nails, which she also handed to him along with the hammer.
Getting the hint, Severus looked around for a suitable place to hang the wooden sign, finally settling on a place near the front that intercepted the roof and the nearest wall. He worked to secure the sign as Lily went about spreading the largest of the three blankets down on the ground across the entire length of the shelter.
"Do you mind nailing a couple of those on the inside? Right here?" Lily asked when he finished, pointing to the same wall he had just finished working on. Severus obliged, hammering in first one nail and then a second. "Excellent!" Lily exclaimed. She took the two smaller blankets and hung them off of the newly added nails. "For when we get a chill," she smiled catching Severus's eye. "One for you and one for me."
Lily stepped away from the shelter, backing up to take in the full effect. Severus joined her reveling in the fabrication of their hard work. The sun was starting to dip and the rays of light were at the perfect angle to create several sparkling beams that shone through the gaps in the leaves like fluorescent stars, surrounding them. Whenever the breeze caught the trees, the lights danced and sparkled, coming alive with brilliance, and Severus felt for the first time as though the entire forest was truly alive and breathing.
Off in the distance, somewhere high in the trees, Severus caught movement from the corner of his peripherals. It was obvious that it was a different type of movement than the glittering, sunlit illusion that was currently encompassing them. Lily must have noticed too, because she squinted up in the direction he saw it from, shielding her eyes from the sun with one hand.
"Did you see that?" she asked, solidifying Severus's assumption.
"Yeah" Severus replied. He continued to stare at the tree tops until he found the movement once more. From this distance it looked like a flowering twig, but it bobbed bizarrely from branch to branch. At first Severus thought it was a loose sprig that had been blown off of a nearby tree and skittered across the tree tops by the wind. But the more he stared at it the more he realized that this couldn't be just any old stick. It truly was alive.
The creature by all accounts looked like a part of the pine. If it hadn't been loitering in a coniferous tree he would have never even noticed it, but it was different enough from its current surroundings that it stood out slightly. It had three or four large green leaves that sprouted from the top of it's head, just below that he could make out the tiniest black eyes that looked like beetle shells. It had thin splinter-like arms that branched off into many long and brittle fingers which it used to propel itself across the branches.
"What on earth is that thing?" Lily asked, awestruck. "Is it a bug?"
"No, not a bug, I remember reading about these in one of my mom's old school books." Severus fell silent, lost in thought as he continued to stare at the creature, which was in the middle of prying off the top of an acorn with its long, twisted fingers. "A Boomtuckle?...no, it's...a Bowtruckle! That's what they're called," he corrected proudly. A shy smile started to spread itself over his mouth. "This place really is special."
He stiffened a little in embarrassment. He hadn't meant to voice the sentiment out loud, but the magic of the moment and the perfection of the afternoon had caught him off guard and left him vulnerable, and it tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop it. He was acutely aware of Lily's eyes on him as he said it, and his heart started drumming madly against his chest. He wished she wouldn't, he wished she would look away, back at the creature or anywhere else but at him.
"What do you mean?" Lily asked softly.
"Bowtruckles are only supposed to be found in trees that have wand quality wood, and it's just that - out of all the spots in the clearing you chose the ones that have Bowtruckles in them. It's...strange is all -" he stammered, shifting his weight uncomfortably.
A silence fell between them as Lily's gaze returned to the tops of the pine trees where Pine Peak lay nestled between the two large trunks. She breathed in deeply with a look of such far-off deliberation and wonderment that he was tempted to try and "read her mind" again, as Lily had put it. He dismissed the idea a bit begrudgingly, deciding it would exhaust him too much in his current condition and give him away. He didn't want to risk their friendship or her trust. When Lily spoke again, it was soft and hoarse.
"How do you know so much?"
Severus shrugged his shoulders mechanically. "I read a lot," he said shortly. "Not much else to do."
Lily shook her head thoughtfully in response. Now he really wished he knew what she was thinking, because she almost looked sad and he couldn't figure out for the life of him why or how she could be feeling that way when he was feeling almost the exact opposite in this same moment.
He wanted to ask about it, but he was afraid it might upset her. It really wasn't any of his business if she was sad or not, but Severus couldn't help but to take it a little personally. She was with him all afternoon after all, and she had been fine before...ecstatic even. If something was troubling her now then there was no doubt it must have something to do with him.
"It must have been fascinating growing up with magical parents," Lily said with an edge of envy to her voice.
Severus was thrown off by the unexpected statement, even more so that anyone could ever envy someone like him, especially someone like Lily Evans. It left him feeling strange and, if possible, even more awkward. It left a bitter taste like ash in his mouth, and he grew almost angry that anyone could envy his miserable existence or his miserable life. He spent so much time wishing he could be anyone else. Go anywhere else. He would gladly switch places with her if she wanted.
"My Mum married a Muggle," Severus replied stiffly.
"A Muggle…" Lily echoed quietly. "You mean like a normal person." It wasn't really a question.
"Not exactly..."
Lily looked at him with those scrutinizing green eyes of hers, as though she were scanning him for clues as to his response. "What do you mean?" She asked a little more firmly "He's not normal?" Severus became uncomfortable, his hands wrung together nervously before he forced them to stop by shoving them back into the deep pockets of his coat. His gaze returned to the ground and he began scuffing the dirt with his feet, refusing to meet her patronizing glare. "Severus-" Lily warned, her eyes passing over him intently. "What did you mean by that?"
"N-nothing. They just argue a lot." He shrugged again.
-0-
He was eight, and his father was screaming at Eileen in blind fury. His voice was so heated, so full of anger and hate that Severus retreated to a corner and clasped his hands tightly over his ears to try and block out the rage that permeated down the hall. He tried to make himself as small as possible so he wouldn't be noticed.
"Please don't see me. Please- please - please" Severus thought desperately. He was crying now, and he was so frightened. He didn't know what to do. Anguish, desperation, fear and helplessness washed over him in waves.
Several loud claps reverberated through the air followed by a piercing scream. A very feminine scream. Vaguely, Severus could hear his mother begging, he squeezed his eyes shut forcing more tears to crash to the ground in his attempt to shut it all out.
"Please- please- please"
-0-
Lily's eyes grew wide in surprise as though she had just had a moment of genuine fear. Her mouth gaped open in horror and her eyes watered over with un-shed tears. She looked Severus dead in the face as though desperate to let out the silent scream that was trapped, bubbling in her throat, yet unable to escape. Severus stepped back with uncertainty, his own fear creeping it's way up his spine as he looked at Lily's horrified expression.
The moment passed and Lily regained her composure though she was still visibly shaken. Severus didn't know what happened to enable such a reaction from her, but judging from the way Lily looked now, whatever it was had left as suddenly as it appeared.
"Are you Ok?" Severus asked with concern, one hand had left the solitary retreat of his pocket and lay clutched against his chest as though he were physically trying to slow down his still rapidly beating heart. Lily took a few steadying breaths and mirrored his concern through the look she had plastered across her face.
"I-I think so," she replied shakily. "Is that why you're out all the time? Why you don't want to go home?" she gasped.
"What? Who said I don't want to go home?" Severus returned nervously. It appeared Lily could not be swayed from their earlier conversation. Lily advanced on Severus, coming closer and closer with those suspicious green eyes of hers.
"I don't think you hide it as well as you think you do Severus" Lily replied coolly. She was so close to him now her face mere inches from his. He didn't know what he was supposed to confess but he didn't like where this was going. In fact, it had gone way too far already. Lily was too close for comfort...both physically and emotionally. "I smell blood. Why do I smell blood?"
Shit.
A/N: Sorry it's been so long since my last update (In my defense I AM leaving to get married in a week). Thank you to all of my current readers and followers for sticking with Severus and Lily this far, and a big shout-out for any future reviewers ;)
*Minor Re-editing*