"Are you out of your mind?!"
Ashley Wilkes knew that women were as capable of anger as men were; they were only human, after all. But in his experience, women, even at their angriest, always tried to assume that air of pleasant dignity and stately gentleness unique to Southern womanhood. Scarlett O'Hara had always been the exception to this unspoken rule, as she seemingly was to every norm. He had seen her this angry only once before and that was-
"Going behind my back like that, I should have known something was up when Wade sent word that the mills were in "desperate need of my help!" That boy's as good a correspondent as Sue is."
Every hair was standing on end, the air was crackling with electricity, and her eyes were spitting fire.
"What were you trying to accomplish by letting him just waltz into the house like that?"
"Scarlett, I didn't-"
"But you knew, didn't you? You knew and yet you kept me in the dark!"
"I'm assuming things didn't go as planned."
"As planned? I'm sure I don't know what you and Wade had been planning with this little get together, but it couldn't have gone any worse!"
"How did Ella take it?"
"She hasn't been out of her room since it's happened and as for Wade, he ought to pursue a career as an undercover agent; he's cleared out! He's taken all the money I left him, his horse is gone, his bed hasn't been slept in for days, and he didn't even bother to leave a note! For God's sake, he even left Fluff-he's even abandoned the dog!" she cried, gesturing to said dog, who was surveying the duo with moist eyes, pausing every now and then to slobber at Beau's very resigned Persian.
"I've been asking around but trying to get an answer out of anyone in this town is harder than pulling teeth!" She was pacing back and forth as she spoke. "I ought to go to the police."
"There's no need for that, Scarlett. He's perfectly fine."
She spun around. "Why, Ashley Wilkes! You know exactly where he is hiding, don't you? After all that we've been through, is this how you choose to treat me?"
But he wasn't cowed by this display, one that he knew was borne out of years' worth of pent-up frustration rather than any real anger.
"I had promised him that I wouldn't tell anyone until, as he put it, everything has been resolved."
Scarlett laughed. "Then he's going to be waiting an awful long time. But are you sure he's alright?"
He raised one hand with a crooked smile. "On my honor, Scarlett. I promise you that he will come home in one piece."
Oh God, anything but that. She gave a great sigh, collapsing into a chair.
"Did Ella-?"
"She didn't know a thing, Scarlett. Wade-er-told me it was best not to get her involved."
She chuckled. "You know, in another life, you would have made one hell of a lawyer."
"It's nice to know that your faith has been revived."
"Don't be civil with me!" She picked at her chin, brow furrowed in deep thought. "But I wonder how he managed to find out about that; I didn't let anyone see that letter until after I had gone over to Henry's and Wade stopped reading anything from Charleston years ago."
"It wasn't Wade who told him."
"What?"
"I know how things have been between you and...him."
"Do you now?" And when has our marriage been any of your business?" He rubbed the back of his neck.
"You're right, my dear it isn't, but I saw this as one man stopping another from making a grave mistake."
"You didn't."
"I did, but it's not what you think, Scarlett. I still have some pride left, however little it may be. I was the one who told Wade to write to him to get a move on before it was too late."
"But how-"
"You were never difficult to read, my dear. I've known for some time what you were going to do; that letter had merely been the final straw."
And now she stared at him in frank curiosity.
"But why?"
"Scarlett, when a man gets to be my age, he wants to know that he mattered, that his life, however insignificant in the grand scheme of things, mattered. If there's anything I can certain about, it's that I have regrets, things that I can never begin to make amends for. But I saw this as perhaps my last chance to make things right. In all the years I have known you, I've never done anything for you."
"From the barbeque at Twelve Oaks until now, it has all been you. I don't think I've ever truly thanked you for saving Melanie and Beau that night and for looking after them all those months at Tara when you could hardly feed and clothe yourself. For all you knew, I was dead but you held true to that promise far beyond what anyone could have expected. Your feelings, however misplaced they might have been, were very real. You did things for me that not even my closest friends and remaining relatives would have done: you gave Melanie and I a home, have ensured that Beau would grow up surrounded by friends and family, and you made arrangements for her funeral when you had just finished attending Bonnie's."
"And...I-I never drew the line with you, did I? I told myself that I was respecting both our marriages by keeping a distance but by doing so, I was digging myself in deeper. I should have been honest with you, myself, Melanie, and perhaps even him. I would have risked getting shot but that would have been better than just letting things fester."
"I don't know about that, Ashley. I don't think it would have changed a thing. In all likelihood, I would have called you a liar to your face and carried on. You weren't the only one who was drunk."
"But make no mistake. I was angry. At you, at him, at everyone but I think I've finally come to terms with all of it: we all were who we were and we said and did what we thought was right at the time. Maybe things would have turned out differently if you had been honest." She shrugged, "or not. You're just not that type of person, anymore than I was the type to just let things go and Melanie understood that; she was the only one who truly understood."
"I didn't know that you had so little faith in yourself."
"Perhaps you have too much."
"But I'm a failure, aren't I? I should never have come home; better men than me died while I, to my shame, lived." Scarlett's face was filled with pity. "Do not misunderstand me. I loved Melanie, I loved Beau but I do not belong in this world anymore than I did then and I knew that they would be safe with you."
"And time has only proved that to be the truth. Even after everything, you continue to stand by my side as you always have, earning my keep-"
"Ashley..."
"I'm calling it what it is. And even the mills...it was Rhett who convinced you to sell them to me, wasn't it?"
"'Convinced' isn't exactly the term I would use."
He laid his hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eyes.
"Scarlett, what did Melanie tell you that night?"
"She-she told me to take care of Beau."
"But that wasn't it, was it? I know about the money you've been depositing in Beau's account every month."
Scarlett couldn't meet his eyes and she sat there, clasping and unclasping her hands. He smiled. "I really can't do anything right, can I?" He turned away but she stood, taking his hands in both her own.
"That's not true. Don't you remember that day at Tara? For the first time in my life, I didn't know what to do. Mother was dead, Pa was gone, and even he...I was lost, but you reminded me that there was still something worth living for, worth fighting for and for that, I am forever grateful."
Those gray eyes were no longer sad or aloof, but seared through her own with that old intensity. He pulled her roughly to his chest, cradling the back of her head, and for a moment, all she could hear was his heartbeat, but when he felt her tense, he immediately pulled away and they stood in silence as cold recollection dispelled this false spring. She turned to the coatrack, removed her cloak, and began to slowly, methodically slip buttons into their respective holes.
"I was looking into her eyes as she died and all I saw was love...with this, I feel that I can finally begin to ask for forgiveness."
Scarlett finished fastening the last of the silver clasps.
"If that's what you were hoping to get out of this, then I'm afraid you're looking at a lost cause."
"Good things do happen, even in this cruel chaotic mess of a world."
"You weren't there, Ashley. You didn't see his face, his eyes...there was nothing there."
"Was it nothing that you saw or merely emptiness?"
"Same difference, really."
He smiled ruefully. "You may have been wrong about many things, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. And you're right, Scarlett. I did not see his face." He looked up.
"But I did see her's."