Chapter 11: Severus

The world really did have a way of being cruel. At least, it did if Severus's experience had anything to say about it. He had been so close! So close to being spirited away and living a completely different life. An undoubtedly better life. Of course, virtually any life would be better than this one, he thought miserably. Very few could claim to have suffered what he did at such a ripe and tender age.

He was angry. Furious even. He felt helpless, and cheated and betrayed- but mostly he just felt broken. How could she have done this? How could she have seen the things she's seen and deny him his freedom? The beating he got from Tobias the night before was indeed painful, but somehow this was so much worse. At least he never expected anything less from his father. This though- This hurt more than a thousand beatings put together, because he did expect more from his mother…

The injustice of it all was what threatened to break his soul in two. He almost couldn't handle it. Almost. But of course, that was when Lily Evans came flitting to his side as though from nowhere. The anchor he so desperately needed. If he could only gather the energy to move…

A comforting weight pressed against his shoulder. He wasn't entirely sure what it was, but it was soothing. It was familiar. It was, of course, Lily Evans. He hadn't been expecting it, and more surprising still was the fact that he didn't shy away from it. Normally he didn't allow people to touch him. His experiences with human touch were largely...unpleasant, but this- this was something else entirely. He found he reveled in it. Such an odd and unpredictable reaction, he thought humorlessly. But it gave him the strength to move, if only a little.

Something inside him stirred then, and with it came the desire to verify his assumption. He turned his head so he could look upon her. When his velvet eyes fixed on hers, he felt himself relax a bit, but it wasn't enough. He needed time. Time to contemplate. Time to process. Time to mend. So he drew himself back. He didn't know if she would stay, but he secretly hoped she would. He could really use a friend.

Moments passed and he didn't know how long they sat like that, with her head on his shoulder and his head in his lap. Enveloped in darkness, and in silence. Somehow, Lily knew what he needed, and his affection for the girl grew substantially. He found the strength to draw breath. Soon, he found the strength to wake up.

Before he could stop himself, he was talking. Blabbing his business like a tired old hen, clucking away in the hen-house; telling her what happened. It was as if all his years of practiced restraint, his secrets, his careful planning, it all meant nothing. He forgot himself. Who he was. What he was trying to protect. But she was there, and he needed this. It was this, or risk breaking in two for real. Still, he was glad it was her...if it was anyone.

"My Aunt Vesta came to visit this morning-" He heard himself say, as though from far away.

Silence.

"I didn't even know I had an Aunt Vesta," He carried on. "My Mum- she doesn't have contact with her side. But she turned up. She turned up out of nowhere...and she asked- she asked me to come live with her...M-my Mum wouldn't let me go with her-

He was overcome by the sensation of falling. Falling fast. Through emptiness. Through nothing. The weight of his words- the reality of them- made his emotions come crashing down on him all at once, but he was unprepared to burden them.

"I- I was so close to getting out of here-" he choked out, finally.

His body was overtaken with the dangerous sobs that came pouring out of him in thunderous waves, and he buried his face again, desperately trying to rein it all in. What Lily must think of him. He was a fool. His father was right. He was weak. Pathetic. A sissy. And here he was, breaking down in front of the one person he wanted to hide it from the most. Gods, it was unfair.

"Fancy a swim?"

"H-huh?" Severus was taken aback by the question, and he gaped at her in confusion as he tried to steady his erratic breathing. She wasn't looking at him, but rather out over the cool, glassy surface of the water.

"A swim," she repeated seriously. "The water looks nice. I bet it would feel good, too. It is hot though, isn't it?" She stood up, eyeing him expectantly.

"L-Lily…" Severus stammered awkwardly. "I- err...don' have a suit. Neither d'you...I mean...you can't- ya wouldn' suggest- w-we ain't-" He felt white hot with embarrassment as he stumbled over his words and tried to wrap his head around her suggestion. So much so, that he forgot he was in the middle of a psychological meltdown.

"In our clothes you dolt!" Lily replied quickly, turning a deep shade of red herself when she realized what he was thinking.

Severus relaxed noticeably and let out a heavy sigh of relief as he regained his composure. "O-of course. I nude...KNEW that." He groaned and dropped his face in his hands.

"Well, come on! Last one in is a rotten egg!" Lily giggled. She kicked her sandals at him playfully before she took off running toward the bank shrieking like a banshee. Severus blinked as he watched her, and then slowly followed suit.

First, he removed his blazer and folded it neatly, remembering the letter that was still in his pocket. He noticed another discarded piece of parchment sticking out pale against the grass where Lily sat only moments ago, and set the blazer on top of it to make sure it wouldn't blow away in the breeze. Next, he kicked off his shoes and set them beside his coat. And finally, he re-tied the rope that held up his trousers as tight as possible so they wouldn't slide off his skinny frame and float away in the water. Gods, that would be embarrassing, and just what he needed to top off this miserable day.

When Severus approached, Lily had already submerged herself completely and was splashing about in tight circles waiting for him.

"That was the worst race I've ever run," she teased. "You took so long, I could have won a hundred times over." She splashed at him deviously. "What are you waiting for? Get in!"

"Well, someone had to make sure you didn't lose track of your things. I didn't know you still needed a babysitter." Severus mocked. Lily grinned and sunk deeper into the water as she glided smoothly toward Severus. "What are you doing Lily?"

"Nothing. It just looks to me like you need some help is all, and lucky for you I'm just the girl for the job."

Lily had snuck so close she was practically at Severus's feet. With lightning quick reflexes her hand shot out and grabbed him by the wrist, pulling it back with a mighty tug. Severus teetered on the bank, trying to maintain his balance, his free arm flailing bizarrely, before he tipped forward and crashed into the water with a splash. He resurfaced, spluttering and wiping his long, dark hair out of his eyes.

"You can thank me later," Lily grinned smugly.

"Oh, I think I'd rather thank you now," Severus replied as he dove after her.

Lily screamed and laughed, trying to swim away from her attacker, but Severus was in hot pursuit. His long arm caught hold of her ankle and he pulled her back towards him, wrapping his arms tightly around her and holding her fast against him. Lily wriggled and squirmed trying to break free from his embrace, but Severus's grip was too strong, even with all her frantic kicking.

"No! No! I'm sorry! Mercy!" Lily gasped, still laughing.

"I'm afraid I simply must thank you properly, my lady," Severus said with mock politeness.

He smirked wickedly and threw himself backwards into the water, taking Lily with him and drenching them both in the icy shallows. They resurfaced gasping and laughing wildly.

The simple act of pulling Severus into the river transformed into a full-out water war, and they played away the afternoon, shrieking and plotting ways to get back at one another, each plot more extravagant than the last.

It started off innocently enough, with a well aimed squirt that flew from a clenched fist or from a widely directed splash, but the longer it went on, the more creative they both became.

Lily had taken to diving completely underneath the water and disappearing in the heat of open combat. When Severus lost sight of her, she would swim up and pull one of his feet out from under him, dragging him down until he was fully submerged in the waters below. Severus on the other hand, would call time-outs, and when they ceased fire he would hastily recall a time-in and full on tackle Lily when she got close enough, sending her plummeting backwards with a heavy splash.

Near the end of their game, they had reached an entirely new level of tactics. Lily would flee the water and take to the high ground, where she would let out a bellowing war cry and drop on Severus from above. Severus, remembering his defense lessons, resorted to wandless magic. He often cast silent Impedimenta spells or a tripping jinx at exactly the right moment sending Lily cascading back into the water when her legs seemed to zig rather than zag. He wasn't always successful, but when he was it was immensely satisfying, and by the time the siege was nearly over, even he had to admit he'd gotten pretty good at it. Severus never would have kept on with it if Lily didn't find it absolutely hysterical.

The war drew to a close when Lily, in her own burst of accidental magic, sent a balloon-less water balloon plummeting toward Severus and hit him full in the face with it. It burst on impact, drenching him so bad his hair hung over his eyes like a wet mop.

By the time it was all said and done, Lily had declared herself the winner and promoted herself to Head Sergeant of her invisible armed forces. Severus knew that it was in fact he who emerged victorious, but he didn't bother to argue. He let her have her moment. It was only polite.

The two of them came marching out of the river and back to dry land. Their clothes clung to their bodies like a second skin and their limbs drooped with exertion, their bodies trembling from exposure, but they were in good spirits. They gathered their things, stuffing soaked feet into dry shoes and sloshed and squeaked their way back to Pine Peak, clothes still dripping, leaving dampened water trails behind them.

The first thing Lily did was grab one of the blankets still hanging limply from a nail on the inside of the fort. She clenched it tightly around herself, trembling violently as she dropped to the floor with it. Severus, seeing no reason to dampen a perfectly clean blanket, removed his letter from his jacket pocket and wrapped himself in his faded blue blazer. He was still so wet that the coat sprouted darkened blotches where it absorbed the excess moisture of his smock.

"So you got yours too then?" Lily said pointing at the letter in Severus's hands.

"Yeah. I guess- haven't opened it yet," he replied, flipping it over and showing Lily the shiny wax seal, still whole and unbroken.

"Aren't you going to?" she asked as though he had a choice.

Severus swallowed and turned the letter over in his hands. Carefully, he tore open the seal from the creamy envelope underneath it and unfolded the letter.

"Dear Mr. Snape," he began. "We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July. Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall. Deputy Headmistress."

"Haven't got an owl," Lily said with concern.

"Neither do we-" He noticed Lily's worried glance eying the letter eagerly, so he added: "It's alright. We can use the owlery when we go to Diagon Alley to get our school things."

Severus flicked over to the school equipment list and started reading it over solemnly. In his mind he assessed how many things they would need to buy that he didn't already have stashed away in the attic among his Mum's old school things. On paper it didn't look like much, but he knew that some of the things he required were on the more expensive side. How were they going to afford this? Tobias would never consent to spending this kind of money on Severus's schooling.

"It's quite a fascinating list," Lily said watching him. "Though I don't know what Diagon Alley is...or where it is. The Deputy Headmistress said she'd leave instructions for my parents when she left."

"Oh right, your parents. Erm- how did they take it?"

Lily launched into a dramatic retelling of the story. About the owl and how it flew in through their kitchen window and her father's absurd attempts to capture the bird with oven mitts and a frying pan. Severus smiled appreciatively as he listened to her recount her version of events, reacting appropriately in all the right places, but his worry still weighed heavy in the back of his mind.

-and they said I could go! Well, Mum did, but I'm sure Dad won't have a problem with it."

"I told you you'd get the letter," Severus said as though there were ever any doubt.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Severus looked down at his blazer and toyed with some of the buttons for something to do, the wet blotches still spreading across his back and shoulders. Lily eyed him as though contemplating saying something. Her brow furrowed in deep concentration.

"I know what your dad did to you," she said suddenly. Severus's head snapped up and he shot her with a severe look.

"What-"

"I mean, I don't know what he did to you exactly, but I know he hurt you," she said sadly poking at the ground and trailing a finger in the dirt.

He didn't know how he should react. He felt angry and confused. How did she find out? Was it so obvious? He thought he was being careful. Lily must have recognized she had reached dangerous territory, and hastily touched her face to mirror the markings left behind on Severus's porcelain skin. His hand shot up to touch the red and faded blue bruising still left behind after his Aunt's healing spell.

Shit.

He had forgotten about that, and come to think of it, he never checked his reflection before he left the house. He had been careless. He continued staring down at his buttons, determined not to look at her.

"It was him wasn't it?" Lily prompted.

Severus nodded wordlessly, not seeing a way out of this. He could stun her and run away, but what good would it do? She'd still remember everything when she came round, and then he'd once again be friendless because he doubted she would ever forgive him for something like that. He needed her. She was the only thing keeping him sane. The only thing that gave him any sort of relief.

"I hate him," she said darkly.

"Yeah well, join the club" he replied automatically.

"Come live with me."

"What-"

"I mean it! Come to my house! My parents will take you in! We can take care of you!" Lily said, her excitement starting to swell.

"M-my Mum would never allow it-"

"So? Don't tell her. Just come over and don't go back!"

There was no way that this could be for real though, could it? Even if he managed to successfully run away from home, Lily's parents would still need to agree to having another child in their home. Somehow he doubted that they would be willing to let him stay...Then again, it would only be for a few more weeks. Once they were off to Hogwarts he could just stay there over the holidays and only impose on them over the summer break. His chest tightened with the dawning of hope- Lily still had him locked in a wild, hopeful stare.

"Do- do you really think-" He trailed off skeptically.

"I'll talk to my parents about it!" Lily exclaimed. "I'm sure I'll be able to talk them into it. They can't resist this face," she said with a cocky grin, gesturing to her face and batting her eyelashes.

Severus couldn't help but smile. He had been so afraid of Lily finding out about his father. Mostly because he didn't want her getting caught in the crossfire, but he supposed his pride had a little to do with it as well. It was something he was embarrassed to admit. He didn't want to look weak, or damaged and he certainly didn't have need of anyone's pity. Who knew that setting his pride aside for long enough to confide in another would be the key to his liberation. He had mixed feelings about Lily being the one to hear this confession. On the one hand, he couldn't think of a more adequate replacement...but on the other, it had been what he feared the most. Now that it was over with-

"Yeah, if it's alright!...I mean...don' wanna impose…"

"I'll talk to my parents tonight! I'm sure we can come up with something." Lily assured him feverishly. "It might take a couple days to set something up but-"

"It's perfect," Severus said earnestly. He leaned over passed the roof of Pine Peak to get a good look at the sky. It didn't look late enough for Tobias to be home yet, but he figured he better be going soon, just to be safe. "I should probably go," he informed Lily. "Don't want to get into any more trouble..."

They stood up from beneath the shelter. Lily threw herself at him unexpectedly and just held him there. The blanket that was still draped around her shoulders enveloped them both and kept the chill away from their soaked clothes. Severus, who hadn't been expecting this, stumbled backwards a little in alarm. When he realized what she was doing, his muscles relaxed a bit and he wrapped his arms around her in return, albeit a little more awkwardly.

"Tonight. I'll talk to them tonight," she promised softly in his ear, and with one more persistent squeeze Lily let go, and the two of them parted ways.

Severus's mind was a whirlwind of thought as he followed the begotten trail back to Spinner's End. A lot had happened today. He was exhausted both mentally and physically. To recap he had suffered a major disappointment when his Aunt Vesta showed up, followed by a bitter betrayal from his mother thereafter. He had to endure countless emotions that had him breaking down in front of the one person he promised himself he never would, and she in turn retaliated with a water fight and a promise of protection...Combine that with the fact that she now knew of his secret torment- well, the submissive acceptance of his lot in life now lie in crumbled ruins all around him.

Gods he was tired, though. He needed a lie-in. The blazer had absorbed as much moisture as it was able, and in it's muggy state it was doing very little to keep him warm. He climbed his front step wearily, his shoes starting to squelch with the runoff of his still soaked trousers.

Very suddenly, the front door swung open wildly, and he found himself staring into the cold, black pits of Tobias's eyes. Severus blinked in surprise. He was overwhelmed with the sour scent of alcohol and his body froze on the spot, all time standing still in limitless suspension. Panic bubbled up inside him as he attempted to assess the situation.

What? No! You aren't supposed to be home yet! What in God's name are you doing here?

"Well, well, well. Finally decided to slither on home did ya, boy?" Tobias goaded, leaning his heavy shoulder into the door frame which creaked threateningly beneath his weight. There was some hectic shuffling and then Eileen's hands appeared from behind one beefy arm, trying to wrench Tobias out of the way.

"Tobi! For fuck sakes he hasn't done nothing," she shouted angrily.

"Hasn't done nothin'? Christ, jus' look at 'im Eileen!" Tobias roared defiantly. "He's wetter than a mermaid's minge! I'll make 'im rue the day he came crawlin' out from between yer legs, woman. An' don' think for one second I have any problem makin' you rue the day you crawled outta yer mama's hole neither. I got plenty o' lessons to go around." He turned his attention back to Severus. "I thought I warned you, boy," he started in a low voice. "-to never come home after me again." Tobias straightened, his eyes narrowing dangerously at the boy in front of him.

"Don't you dare hurt him Tobi! You damn near killed him already!" Eileen shrieked, still trying to pull Tobias away from the door, but Tobias had run out of patience. He ripped his arm away from Eileen's pinching grasp and shoved her aside. Eileen stumbled backwards, but maintained her balance.

"Come at me again Eileen, an' I'll break every one o' those spindly lil' twigs you call fingers! See if I don't!" he shouted. Eileen glared at him resentfully but stayed where she was. He turned back again to face Severus. "Besides, I ain't gonna hurt him none," he said thoughtfully, stroking his chin with one enormous hand. "Though I can't very well go back on my word now, can I? A man always keeps 'is word. Ain't that right, boy?" He looked down at his son, and leaned into him, his hands on his knees as he met his dark eyes. "Ain't nothin' personal son, you understand? But you needs you some learnin'," he whispered with a stiff nod.

"So!" Tobias said as he stood up clapping his hands together for emphasis. "Because you decided to disrespect me an' my rules by comin' home late, you get to spend the rest o' the night here. In other words, yous won't be comin' home at all."

"Here? Here where?" Severus asked confused, his heart still hammering in his chest. Catching the dangerous look Tobias shot him with he added hastily, "Sir."

Looking satisfied with the correction, Tobias continued. "Outside, boy! With the wind in yer hair and nothin' but them stars to keep ya company. Ain't nothin' like a night in the dirt to put a little hair on yer chest."

"Tobi!" Eileen protested, horrified.

"Shut it Eileen!" He called back. "Tha's the price you pay fer disobeyin' yer Da."

Severus thought about it. As far as punishments go this one wasn't so bad. Sure, he was already freezing, but once Tobias had gone back inside he could just sneak back to Pine Peak. There were a couple of blankets and shelter there at least, and Severus's own thinning blanket wasn't nearly as thick or as cozy. He'd be willing to bet he'd spent colder nights in his own bed. Piece of cake, he thought.

"Oh, jus' one more thing, boy," Tobias piped up suddenly, interrupting his train of thought. Severus's heart gave a sickening lurch. "I'll be takin' them clothes back too," he held out his hand expectantly. A smile crept across his lips.

"M-my clothes?" Severus asked, mortified.

"Well, you don' and got them all wet, see? We needs to dry them up fer ya. Maybe then, you can appreciate what you got. So…" his fingers pulsed in rhythm, demanding the surrender of his sodden garments.

"M-mum?" Severus asked the panic rising to take hold of him completely.

"Tobi! He's just a boy! You can't do this!" Eileen roared in shocked outrage.

"I can do whatever needs doin'," he said to her with an icy glare. "Now. Strip," he commanded, his lips enunciating every sound and syllable of the ugly word.

Severus's eyes brimmed over with tears, and he slowly started unbuttoning his blazer, shrugging out of the dampened article, still warm from the heat of his body, and handed it over obediently. Immediately his skin broke out in goosebumps as his body reacted to the sudden change in temperature, and he began trembling, though he wasn't so sure that reaction was purely from the cold.

"Come on now boy, you can go faster than that."

His eyes bore into Tobias hatefully as he loosened the strings around the neck of his yellowing smock, and peeled it slowly off of his pale skin and over his head, placing it in his father's outstretched hand. He was shivering violently now. Last, came his trousers as he kicked off his shoes and untied the rope that held them. He let them fall to the ground with a heavy whump and nervously stepped out of them giving up the remaining garment. He was left standing in nothing but his pants, his body instinctively collapsing into itself to ward off the offending chill. Still Tobias didn't move.

Severus waited, watching him tensely with bated breath. Only when Tobias's eyes flicked noticeably down his son's waist and at the wet pants did Severus understand what he was waiting for.

No…

"Tobi, that's enough!" Eileen cried from inside, watching with tearful eyes as her son undressed. "He's gonna freeze to death!"

"Then he won' never do it again," Tobias replied calmly. "Now, son. Get on with it. Let that little worm wag free."

The tears finally started to flow as he thumbed the elastic of his pants in preparation to pull them off. He was hyper aware of both pairs of eyes on him. What he felt was beyond humiliation, beyond anything he ever felt before in his life. As he pulled them off and then handed them to his father he thought that he really would have preferred a beating. Nothing could have been worse than this.

Satisfied, Tobias gave a curt nod. "Tha's my boy," he said as he turned around and slammed the door shut behind him, leaving Severus alone and naked on the front step.

There was some heated shouting and arguing that echoed from inside the house immediately after the door slammed shut. Severus tried to block it all out while he did what he could to protect his modesty. Attempting to conceal himself with his hands he stepped behind one of the larger shrubs by the stoop and sat down in the soil. He tried to fold himself as tightly as possible for warmth, but he wasn't sure he'd ever been more cold in his life. His body shook so violently he caught his tongue between his teeth a few times accidentally. His skin erupted in raised bumps as the wind assaulted his exposed skin and his jaw vibrated so vigorously he thought it would never stop.

Despite the fact that it was summer, he felt for certain that his mother was correct in assuming he would freeze to death out here. How ironic. He didn't have any fat on his bones to help keep him warm. He couldn't leave from behind this shrub and make a break for Pine Peak, not when he was so bare and vulnerable in his current state. Someone might see him, and he already so desperately wanted to die of shame. He couldn't stand it if someone should see him. As it was, he wasn't sure if he would make it through the night anyway…

Severus didn't know how long he lay crumpled and trembling with only a plant for protection. He was beginning to go numb and he found himself wishing that his mind would follow his body's example. It would be a relief to not think or feel anything.

He heard the latch click and he whipped his head around to see Eileen silhouetted against the warm glow of the house. She pressed a finger against her lips in a gesture of silence and threw him the sheet from his bed. Severus caught it eagerly and wrapped it around himself as best he could. His mother waved him inside. Tears leaked from unblinking eyes as she guided him back inside the house.

Tobias must have fallen asleep.

When they were safely inside, Eileen wrapped her arms around him tightly, holding him against her. She began rubbing over the sheet briskly, over his arms and back and breathing hot breath over his hands, trying to breath life back into his cold skin. It was clear from the look on her face that she was filled with remorse at being unable to stop what had happened. She caught his eye and when she did, she whispered urgently:

"Did you do it Sev? Did it work?"

A/N: My Poor sweet Sev. Another chapter done.I have plans of things kind of picking up/escalating from here. Leave a review if you like the story.