Strong

Without strenght, one was nothing.

Hikaru believed this with her whole soul. Strenght was everything. It was the only thing that mattered. A person lacking of strenght hadn't the slighest worth. They didn't deserve to be seen of talked to. They didn't deserve comforting words. If she wanted to deserve something – anything –, she had to leave weakness behind her and turned toward strenght. She had to increase her power, step after step, until everyone was left behind. Until she prove she surpassed everyone.

Because only strenght mattered.

Anyway, she did her best to believe it... Her mother taught her this. She must have be right – and Hikaru had been wrong during her beginnings as a blader. Cries led nowhere. Losers weren't entilted to have a shoulder to weep on. Winners had the privilege to be congratulated.

She had to stop whining.

She had to win.

Her mother wasn't here anymore to fulfil her dream. She'll never become the most powerful blader of the country. But Hikaru was still here. She could live by her mother's principles and achieve her goal for her. She would become strong, still more strong. She would be acknowledged by her peers and setted up as the supreme power, in her name.

A single path presented to her : victory. She couldn't suffer defeats anymore. The slighest defeat would be a bitter setback. She had to fight the strongest bladers and only win, so she could move forward, her head high, to do honor to her name.

And she succeeded to get victories. Even against strong and famous bladers. She progressed on the path her mother wanted to follow. She carried out her duty. No victory brought her pride, only a vague satisfaction, the certainty she was going the right way. In fact, each victory was followed by an unpleasant twinge.

What if she loose the next time ?

What if all her efforts ended swept away by a mere mistake ?

What if she failed ?

Hikaru did her best to smother these worries, to bury them in a secret corner of her heart, with all the other weaknesses that overcame her before her resolution. That kind of thoughts were typical of the weaks. She had win and she would carry on. There were no doubts. She couldn't loose. A single defeat and it would be the end. All her efforts would be reduced to nothing. She wouldn't worth anything. She wouldn't deserve anything. She would dishonor her mother's memory and would be unworthy of her beloved Aquario.

At least, that was what she believed until she met Ginga – or, more exactly, the kid who pretended to be Ginga. She had defeated him, with a disconcerting easiness considering his fame, but hadn't be so surprised : it had prove her strenght and that, soon, nothing would be able to challenge her. But he returned to the attack. Again. And again. No matter how many defeat she inflicted him, he never gave up. She didn't understand. How could she ? From her point of view, defeat was synonymous with end. He should have bowed out and accepted the order of things. She only accepted his revenge matches because the strenght never turned its back to a challenge. But his efforts finally worked : he ended to defeat her, and she ended to loose. And she believed all her efforts disappeared and she had to start from scratch again.

But the unbelievable happened.

Despite her defeat, Kenta congratulated and thanked her.

More amazing : Ginga – the true Ginga Hagane – who saw her defeat, congratulated her and said he hoped to fight her one day, even though she was beated by weaker than him.

Relief overcame her heart, deadening her worries. She had thought, for the first time, that a defeat didn't cost everything, maybe, didn't erase her previous successes and didn't reduce her worth. It didn't make a second-rate person of her. She still had the right to get up again and to go on her way.

Maybe a defeat wouldn't prevent her to fulfil her mother's dream.

Maybe a defeat didn't signal the end.

And she had set off again, determined to achieve her mother's dream.

PART II

It wasn't a defeat from which one could recover.

Hikaru choked a scream. She sat up, quivering. Those pictures didn't leave her head. No matter if she was asleep or awake, they chased her down. This age, this power, this fury, this hatred...

Her terror.

She was weak, so weak. Her strenght's desire had only been a dream, an illusion she had pursued blindly, without knowing she would be unable to catch up with it. She dishonored her mother's memory. She was unworthy of Aquario. Strenght was everything, so she was nothing.

She became unable to touch a launcher. She had tried countless times. She held out her hand slowly, trembling more and more. Her shaking spread to her arm then to her whole body. Her throat tightened. Her stomach contracted. Her legs froze. Fear overcame her, grew until turning into terror. Then she fell, her arm pressed against her chest, gasping but unable to shed tear.

She was weak, so weak.

Hikaru reached out her night stand, groped along. Her fingers touched at last what she searched. Aquario. She brought it back to her and curled up. No matter how much the prospect to fight again terrified her, her bey was still a reassuring presence, an unwavering support. They had lived the same trials and, whereas she collapsed, Aquario emerged safe and sound from it. It was the true representative of strenght.

"I'm sorry, so sorry" she cried.

If it had been with someone else, Aquario could have shone, worked its way to the first place. But it had came across her. Hikaru should have make more efforts for it. She should have regained her self-control but she couldn't.

She held Aquario with her low strenght, murmuring constantly apologies that wouldn't change a thing. She would keep it by her side. Forever. It was the only way she could thank it for its help. The only way she could proove her loyalty.

She was weak, too weak.

END

The second part happened before she find her new goal : working at (directing ?) the WBBA.