According to their map, their journey to the edge of the desert will take about two months.
Katara isn't sure that she's going to be able to stay sane for that long.
She had been excited to add another girl to the group; not that Aang and Zuko are gross or dirty or anything. On the contrary, they are both incredibly concerned with cleanliness, at least based on how much Sokka had always been concerned (or unconcerned) about his personal hygiene. It makes sense based on what she knows about Aang's culture, which isn't actually a lot, that he'd be neat. Yangchen's fragrant soaps and oils are apparently known around the world for their quality, and a culture built around such a massive export no doubt puts emphasis on cleanliness. Zuko's penchant for keeping clean is a mystery to Katara; for someone who's been on the road for years, she would have thought that his concerns would be placed elsewhere. But there's a lot about Zuko that she doesn't know, and she can see it in his mannerisms. His perfect posture is out of place when they sit around the campfire at night and hints at a privileged upbringing, but his cat-like reflexes and toned body indicate far more than just a few years of being on the road. Regardless of the secrets Zuko is undoubtedly keeping from her (she has yet to decide how she feels about this; clearly he has some dark shadows following him from his past, but that's his business until he wants to share it with her), he puts an emphasis on bathing and doing laundry, which Katara can— and does— greatly appreciate.
But Toph, on the other hand, seems to revel in her dirtiness. Katara knows that the girl doesn't wear shoes so that she can use her gift to see, which is understandable, but Toph doesn't even brush the dirt off of her hands before eating. She elects to sleep straight on the ground, no bedroll, no blanket, nothing. Getting her to let Katara wash her clothes is like pulling teeth, and for someone who was raised so coddled and had lived such a cushy life, she doesn't understand the younger girl's love of filth. On top of all of that, as great of a fighter as Toph is, she's also a menace in her own right, refusing to help with chores and poking fun at all of them at every opportunity. Her and Aang get along swimmingly, even Zuko doesn't seem to mind Toph's abrasive attitude, and Katara will admit (begrudgingly) that Toph is funny in her own strange way, but to say that they get along would be a longshot.
As they approach the canyon that spans across the mountain range, Katara is on her very last nerve. Going through the canyon is the only way to the other side of the mountains that won't cause them to back track (she would rather climb over the mountains entirely than go through that stupid tunnel and mess everything between her and Zuko up again), but as they stare across the massive, yawning maw that stretches before them, Katara has a feeling that she'll be missing the glowing tunnel more than usual very soon.
"How are we going to get down there?" Three of the four Othered peer over the edge of the canyon, Katara's question echoing through the open space eerily.
"I'll handle it." Toph cracks her knuckles. "Hold on!"
Katara doesn't even have time to ask what she should be holding on to before the ground drops beneath her. Luckily for her, Zuko is quick to react as always, and he grabs onto her arm so that she doesn't fly off of her feet entirely as her heart climbs its way up her throat. Toph has taken control of the large section of earth beneath their feet, and is sending it careening downwards to the bottom of the canyon at a speed that has Katara's hair flying around her as she clutches onto Zuko. They stop suddenly, Katara and Zuko stumbling awkwardly together and Aang using his air to cushion his own landing. She rights herself and looks up to thank Zuko, who is still holding onto her as she gets her footing.
"Thanks." Her voice is more breathless than she'd like to admit, and Zuko's hand spanning across the small of her back doesn't help her cause.
"Of course." He pulls away, and she tries to convince herself that she's imagining the cold spot on her back where his hand had been.
Toph mutters something under her breath that sounds suspiciously like "dunderheads" and leads them into the depths of the canyon. Katara marvels in the beauty of the tall cliff sides, the different layers of rock spanning every shade from cream to deep red, marking the years like rings in the trunk of a tree. The banyan-grove tree springs into her mind, and she wonders how many rings are held within its massive body, how many days and nights it's seen throughout the years. Their steps seem to move them inch by inch, the blazing sun beating down on them with increasing intensity as the day wears on. The four Othered drag their feet through the canyon, the steep walls never moving as they wilt in the oppressive dry heat. The sun travels lazily along its path, and the air shimmers in its golden rays so much that it makes Katara dizzy.
Somehow they continue on until the sun sets, and after Toph raises a dias for them to sleep on, they all plop to the ground to rest, exhausted and sweating. Katara is the first to get up to start unpacking their bags, Zuko and Aang following suit, while Toph stays behind on the ground.
"It looks like we're about a third of the way to the other side." A collective groan rings out from Aang, Katara, and Toph at Zuko's words. "So if we keep up this pace, we'll be out in two days." The group goes silent again, too tired to speak while working to set up camp. They're almost done and Toph hasn't lifted a finger, content to lean on the ground and pick the wax from her ears before flinging it off into the distance, and Katara is sick of it.
"Toph, can't you just use your gift to send us across the canyon faster on a rock slab or something?"
"Are you serious? That'd be exhausting! I'd probably pass out halfway through!"
"Oh, well I figured since you're not doing anything, you'll be nice and refreshed tomorrow." She glares at the younger girl, even though she knows that it goes unseen.
"Why should I do anything?" Katara's eyes bulge as they open impossibly wide at Toph's attitude. "All I need is a rock tent and I'm good."
"Okay, but you need to eat, so you could set up the campfire or something, at least."
Toph taps her chin like she's considering it. "Nah, don't think so."
"You are insufferable! Do you know that?" The heat and exhaustion coupled with Toph's laziness break her resolve, slamming into it like a hammer to a piece of glass.
"Fuck off, Sugar Queen!" Toph is on her feet in a second, her finger pointing right in Katara's face.
"Oh, you can get up to yell at me, but you can't get up to help out, huh?" Katara braces her hands on her hips.
"Guys?" Aang's voice is cautious and small.
"What?!" Both Katara and Toph whip their heads around to stare at Aang and Zuko, who stand wide-eyed on the other side of the fire.
"Nothing!" Aang puts his hands up, and Zuko shakes his head.
Toph continues on as if there had been no interruption at all. "I carry my own weight, okay? Why should I help you set up your shit when I'm not going to use it?"
"Because that's how we do things! We're a team, we help each other out and—"
"Oh, boo hoo! Grow up, Sweetness! I don't need anyone's help, alright? So just piss off!"
"Me grow up? Are you fucking kidding me? You're the one acting like a petulant child!" The two girls are inches away from each other, faces beet red and teeth bared.
"Alright, that's it!" Zuko braves the daggers they shoot at him with their eyes and steps in between them. "You both need to calm down.
"Calm? I'm completely calm!" Katara definitely is not calm, her heart beating a violent tattoo against her ribs so hard she wonders if they'll break.
"Fuck this." Toph walks off to the far side of the dias and erects a rock tent around her, closing herself off from the rest of the group.
Katara throws her hands in the air with a growl, stalking off to the opposite end of their sleeping space. "Typical." She's too tired to fight anymore, so she mutters this last barb knowing that it won't land.
She pulls her knees up to her chin and stares out over the canyon, the beauty lost on her as she seethes with anger. She hears the fire jump to life behind her, and some time later Zuko comes to sit next to her with a bowl of food in hand. She doesn't thank him; she feels like if she were to open her mouth that she'd start to cry, and the last thing Katara wants to do is give Toph the satisfaction of knowing that she's upset. Zuko thankfully doesn't press her, allowing her to sit in silence and cool off, the dissipating heat and hot food doing wonders for her mood, but not enough to soothe her anger entirely. The camp is mostly silent for the rest of the night save for Aang and Zuko's clipped conversations, and Katara is infinitely glad when she crawls into her bedroll and passes out in minutes.
Xx
The next day is much of the same, but an icy tension spans the space between Toph and Katara. She would almost feel bad for getting so angry- almost- if Toph had decided to help out this morning, but she still hadn't put in any effort to share the chores. The air is stifling and dry, the dirt beneath their feet kicking up into a permanent cloud of dust with every step, covering their clothes and hair and sticking to Katara's sweaty skin. Aang tries to lighten the mood with a few jokes, but the air in the group is sour, and after a while he gives up with a tired shrug directed at Zuko. They walk and walk and walk, their steps blurring together, the beautiful colors of the canyon walls melting and bleeding into each other until all Katara can see is a mess of brown.
The night comes and goes, the moon arcing above them and disappearing below the horizon as it chases the sun. Katara tries not to think about Zuko sleeping in the other tent like she does every night, and fails, like she does every night. The morning comes and they head out again, trudging along the dirt expanse for the last leg of their journey through the canyon. Things are going well, or at least normal, when Toph stops in her tracks.
"Do you guys hear that?" Katara strains her ears, but hears nothing.
"Is it… buzzing?" She has no idea how Zuko has trained his hearing so well; she'll have to ask him some day soon.
"Something's coming, and there's a lot of them!" Toph's voice is dire, and they pick up the pace, breaking into a futile jog as a horde of something materializes in the distance behind them. "We can't outrun them!"
"What are we going to do?" Her voice shakes as the creatures get closer. "We can't fight them all!"
Toph stomps into the ground, and it raises below them just a bit, a lip rising around the edge of the wedge-like shape she's materialized below them. "Hold onto your butts!"
With a swing of her arms, the platform rockets forward, sending Katara, Aang and Zuko back into the lip Toph had graciously created. But the buzzing creatures are fast, and they begin to take the shape of gigantic wasps flying at them at a terrifying speed. Zuko sweeps his arm and creates a large arcing flame behind them, but the horrid bugs don't seem to be deterred. They advance on the group quicker than Katara would have ever thought possible, and her, Aang, and Zuko get to work fighting them off as Toph hauls them to the edge of the canyon. Her eyes water at the speed, and it's hard to control her element when they're skating through the canyon, but she does her best and gets the hang of it rather quickly, strengthening her hold on the water to ensure that the stream doesn't break apart midair.
She turns around to look at Toph, and sees one of the large bugs advancing on the petite girl sweating and swinging her arms like a madwoman. She can't see the bugs. Katara peels herself from the lip her body had been braced against, fighting against the force of motion that had pushed her back and held her there to get closer to Toph. With a grunt, she whips the bug with her water, and with a grotesque snap it falls to the ground, tumbling behind and away from them as they speed forward.
"What was that?" Toph's voice is high and laced with panic.
"Don't worry!" Katara lashes out at another monstrous wasp that is heading towards them. "I'll cover you!"
They relentlessly attack the ferocious creatures; Aang and Zuko work together to feed air into the flames to coax them into massive plumes, and Katara swats at countless wasps that manage to get past the men's assault. Her arms are sore, and she can see Toph straining to keep her arms in motion, her teeth bared and hands shaking.
"I see the edge!" Katara lunges behind Toph to bat another wasp out of the sky. "We're almost there, keep going!"
With a shout, Toph makes a herculean effort to propel them up and towards the edge of the canyon, her arms giving out as soon as they touch the lip, and the four of them hurtle forward into the grass at the loss of momentum. They all lay panting on the ground, catching their breath and resting sore muscles. Katara shakes dirt out of her hair and Zuko spits grass out of his mouth as they rise, and she turns to look at Toph who is still flopped on her back in the grass.
"Need a hand?" Toph nods weakly, and Katara helps her get up so that she doesn't have to put more weight on her arms. "You know, you're pretty badass."
Toph's smile is lopsided and tired, but genuine all the same. "Don't say I never did nothin' for ya." Their laughs sound more like stilted sighs, but Katara feels the tension between them melt in the hot summer sun.
Xx
The landscape on this side of the mountain range is drastically different than what they have been travelling through for the last few months. The air is dry and hot, and the vegetation consists mostly of shrubs and sparse ash trees, the latter of which at least provide some shade as they amble on. They tell Toph about the secret desert library that night around the campfire, and she justifiably isn't very interested.
"I have no desire to explore some super-special-awesome ancient library. You've felt one book, you've felt them all. You guys really think you'll find what you need in there?"
"Honestly..." The three others look between each other before Zuko continues. "We have no idea. But it's our only lead and it's worth a shot."
"I guess that makes sense." Toph picks at her ear and flicks whatever she had extracted off into the night. Katara doesn't think she'll ever get used to the other girl's crass nature, but at least they aren't at each other's throats anymore. "How are we going to get out into the middle of the desert?" That's a question she hadn't thought of, and she turns to Zuko for the answer.
"I'm not sure." His shoulders slump as he lets out a heavy sigh. "We can always walk, but we have no idea where this library even is. It would take us forever to find it on foot."
"I can go ahead and try to scout it out on my glider." Aang looks at them with wide glowing eyes. "At least then we'll know where it is."
"That's not a bad idea. There's an oasis near the edge of the desert." Zuko pulls out and unrolls the map so that Katara and Aang can see. "The people there must have a way of getting through it. Right?" He looks questioningly at Katara, and her stomach swoops dangerously when his shining gold eyes lock with hers.
"I would think so." She doesn't break their eye contact, feeling herself fall into the sunshine in his eyes and letting it warm her from the inside out.
"Alright!" Toph's loud words break the two of them out of their stupor, a blush blooming in Katara's cheeks as she turns away. "It's settled then. We'll head to the oasis and send Twinkletoes over here," she nods to Aang, her bangs swishing with the motion, "to see if the library is visible from the air. The rest of us will ask around and hope that someone there has a way through the desert."
It's not a very solid plan, but it's better than nothing. They eat their meal in a comfortable quiet, too drained to have much of a conversation. Zuko offers to go hunting; they'll need to ration all the dry goods that they can for the upcoming journey through the desert. Katara watches him as he disappears into the trees, dragging her lips through her teeth unconsciously.
"So, Sweetness." She turns to Toph, who's using a stick to pick the remainders of her dinner out from between her teeth. "When are you gonna tell Sparky that you love him?"
She almost chokes on the tea she had brewed for them all, the scalding liquid spraying messily out of her mouth. She thanks whatever gods may be that Zuko isn't here to witness her make a complete fool of herself, and that he isn't there to see Aang try to stifle his laughter and Toph lay a self satisfied smirk on her.
"I don't love him!" She tries to sound like she actually believes what she's saying, but based on the looks she gets from Toph and Aang, she's not doing a very good job.
"I don't know why the two of you keep trying to lie to me when you know it's pointless."
Katara sighs, wilting under Aang and Toph's glowing gazes. "I don't know if I love him."
"That's bullshit, too." She's about to snap at Toph when the younger girl puts a hand up to stop her. "Listen, I'm not trying to be mean here. But it's obvious. Well, to us at least. Sparky's skull must be thicker than that canyon is wide."
"Katara." Aang's voice is much more compassionate. "You two really need to talk, especially about what happened in the cave."
"He told you what happened?" Aang shuffles awkwardly in his seat as her heart drops down to the floor.
"I kind of dragged it out of him," he admits, his face turning sheepish as Katara's crumples.
"Oh, god." She drops her face into her open palms. "He probably thought it was so stupid. Please tell me he doesn't hate me."
"Hate you? Katara, did you scramble your brain in that canyon?" She's not used to Aang being so sassy, and it snaps her out of her self-deprecating thoughts.
"Katara." Toph has never called her by her real name, and the seriousness of the girl's tone pulls her back from the edge of tears. "He likes you too. I can't believe you can't see it, you two are blinder than I am."
Her mouth opens and closes a few times before she finds her voice. "No he doesn't. We're just friends, he doesn't like me like that."
"What would it take to convince you that he does?" Aang's question catches her off guard.
"Um..." She brings her hands up to fiddle with the ends of her hair. "I don't know. If he told me I'd believe it."
"Well, that won't work. He's just as chicken shit as you are." Katara would be offended at Toph's harsh words if her brain wasn't spinning in circles inside her head.
"There's no way we can convince you?" It almost sounds like Aang is pleading with her, and it does nothing to quell her nerves.
"What did he say about the kiss?" Even if it's bad, there's a burning curiosity in her that needs to know.
"I mean, he didn't, like, go into detail." Aang's cheeks flush along with Katara's.
"He said you swapped spit in a nasty cave and walked out like nothing happened." All the blood that had been in Katara's face drains out so fast she gets dizzy.
"No! He didn't say it like that!" Aang puts a hand on her shoulder. "He didn't. I can't betray his trust by telling you what he said, but you guys really need to talk about it because your mutual pining is driving me crazy. I can only imagine how crazy it's driving you."
She lets out a long groan and falls back onto the ground. "Toph, can you just, like, bury me right now? Please? I'd rather eat dirt than talk about this any more."
"Fine, we'll drop it. But when you two finally get your heads out of your asses, don't get mad at me for saying 'I told you so'."
Aang gets up and wanders off to who knows where, but Toph stays at Katara's side at the crackling fire. The sounds of night creatures hum around them for a number of minutes until she hears the other girl shift next to her.
"I'm sorry I was such an ass to you out in the canyon." Katara sits up to look at Toph, whose face is set and tinted with sadness. "I was so stifled growing up; my parents always had someone do everything for me. They thought I was so helpless, even more so because I'm Othered." Sympathy swells in her chest at Toph's words. "I guess I just want to do everything on my own. I don't want to need anybody else's help to take care of myself."
"Toph..." she reaches over and lays her hand on Toph's shoulder. "You're more than capable of taking care of yourself. But you don't have to do it all on your own. We're a team, and we help each other not because we feel like we need to, but because we want to." Toph sniffs and rubs her nose. "You're a part of our wonky little family now, whether you like it or not." The other girl chuckles and punches Katara's shoulder with little force.
"Thanks Sugar Queen." They sit in a comfortable silence for a little bit longer before Toph heads off to bother Aang, and Katara lays back down on the hard dirt and closes her eyes.
She doesn't move for a long time, not until she hears Zuko return from his hunt, which prompts her to bolt into her tent like the night air itself had burnt her. She doesn't miss the confusion on Zuko's face as she bids him a hasty goodnight, and guilt wraps like barbed wire around her heart. There's no way he feels like that about me. Absolutely no way. All of the little moments with him flash through her mind, all of the casual touches and the way she swears his eyes burn brighter when she's close to him. Their playful flirting before Aang had joined them on the road burns a hole in her mind, and their kiss plays over and over and over again until she's pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes to try to get it to stop. She curses Toph and Aang in her head for riling her up, for disturbing the tenuous peace she had made in her mind with her fate regarding Zuko. She wants so much more of him that it's almost pathetic. She wants to fall asleep cradling him in her arms like she had after his nightmare so many months ago. She wants to hold him and touch him and learn him better than she knows herself. She wants his heart in her hands, and hers in his, bloody and warm and raw and real. His smile is the rising sun, and she wants to bask in it day after day like a lazy cat. His laughter is nectar pouring from his mouth, and she wants to kiss it from his lips and taste the sticky sweetness like it's made just for her. But she would rather throw herself back into the canyon than jeopardize what they have now. It's enough just to see his smile and watch his hair ruffle in the breeze. She can survive hearing him say her name without wanting him to whisper it in her ear like a prayer. Who am I kidding? She buries her head in her bedroll and lets out a long frustrated groan, and begs for sleep to take her away from the ghost with golden eyes that haunts her with no reprieve.