Arthur stared at his manservant.
Merlin. Who the Fae recognized as Lord Emrys.
Who had magic.
Who was his best friend.
Whose eyes were still glowing golden as he held Uther in place and glared at Gaius. "It's true." He said, "Isn't it. You know my father. You know he's alive. And you kept him from me."
Gaius nodded slowly, "It was to protect-"
"I had a right to know!" Merlin shouted, and several of the knights flinched back and the gold in Merlin's eyes seemed to grow brighter.
Gaius sighed softly, then nodded. "You did, and you do. Perhaps we can discuss this once we leave this forest?"
Merlin blinked, finally seeming to realize where he was.
He glanced at Arthur, and Arthur didn't know what to think, seeing those golden eyes in his friend's face.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," Merlin said.
That… Arthur really didn't know what to say to that. He couldn't get his mouth to move right. He opened it- then closed it again.
"You're a sorcerer?" Guinevere asked.
Merlin nodded slowly. "Warlock, technically, but yes."
And Guinevere smiled. "You saved my father," she said, "When that thing entered the water. You saved him. And you confessed. And no one believed you."
Merlin smirked at that. "Well, I am just the bumbling idiot. Couldn't possibly be a danger to anyone."
Arthur felt something twist inside of him at that. All the same- it hurts. Doesn't it? He hadn't meant it- of course not. He hadn't wanted Merlin to feel- bad. He'd just- that was just how they were. That was what they did.
Still. Merlin gave both encouragement and insults in somewhat proportionate amounts. Could Arthur say he did that same?
Of course, if Merlin were really nothing more than a bumbling servant it would be more than fair, and letting the man keep his job would be thanks enough- but this… saving Arthur's life time and time again…
Arthur felt his eyes flip to Morgana. Who apparently also had magic.
It seemed like everyone had magic or had used magic at some point. And his eyes finally landed on his father. He would use your screams… to drown out his own guilt… One peasant's death… his wife breathed her last…
Uther. Who was still frozen there by Merlin, even as all the others had begun moving. His father, who still had tear tracks running down his face.
His father. And the man who'd murdered his mother. The rage Arthur had been trying to hold back threatened to burst lose as he looked at his father's face. He couldn't do this. He couldn't handle this.
Even if it hadn't been intentional- even though he'd obviously intended for someone else to die…
It wasn't alright. It would never be alright. Because he'd known that someone would die for his son. And it was worth it until that someone was Uther's wife.
"Merlin." Arthur said, and Merlin started, glancing at him. "Would you mind releasing Uther?"
Arthur couldn't bring himself to say father. Not after what he'd just heard.
Merlin blinked, glancing over at Uther, seeming surprised to find the man still frozen. Still, he moved several paces away before releasing Uther.
Uther moved as if to try striking Merlin down once again, but Arthur was in his way. "It's true." He said, and his voice sounded curiously dead. "You killed my mother."
Uther flinched away.
It was true. Uther didn't condemn magic because he actually saw it as evil or corrupt- he condemned it because Uther had used it to kill his wife. Arthur's mother.
Uther moved again, but Arthur was faster, his blade rising to clash against Uther's.
"He's a sorcerer," Uther hissed, "He must die."
It was Morgana who spoke next. "We already owe the Fae one life for our attacking him. I can't imagine whose life he'd chose to sell if you keep attacking him."
That actually seemed to get through to Uther and he stopped his wild attack.
Arthur stared at his father for a long moment- at the man who valued his life over his ideals- twisted as they were- a man who'd chosen to murder thousands rather than live with his own guilt- and Arthur turned away.
He wanted to kill Uther then- he really did.
But if Merlin needed Uther's life to get them out of these woods, who was Arthur to take it?
…-…
Merlin didn't know what to do. They couldn't stay in these woods forever. Arthur would be king someday and Uther was king now, no matter how bad he was at the job he still had it, and Gauis had people to heal and stuff to make and-
And whose life was Merlin supposed to trade?
Who would have to die to get them all out of here?
Merlin didn't want them to die. He didn't want anyone to die- but they were going to anyways.
Someone was going to die.
He could feel them all- watching him. None had come yet to plead for their lives.
He wondered when they would. Would they try to get him alone first? Try to turn him against the others?
Whatever he did- whatever he chose- someone was going to die.
And there was nothing Merlin could do about it.