The cold bit at her nose, it staved off the flight's disorientation quickly. The doors sparkled and the spikes of ice towered into the sky. She looked up in awe at the Fortress of Solitude, even with its ominous implications it never failed to impress her. The light danced between the shards and glimmered down. Snow crunched as she kicked it away and Superman slowly pushed the heavy door open, she reeled as a cold breeze hit her face from the parted entrance.
"Welcome back," he said, holding out his arm.
"You never get tired of that, do you?" She said. Superman cracked a grin.
"I don't get to show this place off much." He said.
Lena walked through. She still shivered despite the icy chill fading. This was the current home of Samantha Arias. That moment where the life was nearly squeezed out of her and her vision faded to black was still so vivid. She resisted the urge to scratch at her neck and muttered the words "you can breathe," to herself. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply through her nose. She rubbed her face and the let the air come out of her mouth, the fog from it rose and disappeared to nothing. The warmth of a hand touched her shoulder.
"Do you need a moment?" Superman's soothing voice came through. Even with her coping mechanisms, facing Sam could still be an uphill struggle. Superman had sussed something was off early on but knew not to pry without prompting. She swallowed and shook off another shiver running down her spine.
"How's Sam been doing?" she said. Superman looked concerned but answered regardless.
"Still no sign of Reign, Sam's been herself since I first brought her here," he said. The fact there was no sign of a relapse was a saving grace. Sam had always been apologetic and a bit withdrawn around her. While she had no solid memories of her time as Reign, she had an inkling of what she had done. Their time together had been negligible as she usually dealt with Sam in a scientific capacity and let Ruby do the social heavy lifting. She also felt an element of safety as majority of it was spent in L-Corp facilities, the familiar environment and equipment had a habit of easing her nerves.
"Did your guy in Wayne Enterprises have any luck with that data?" She said.
"Yes and no. He ran it through the medical and biotech branches, but he's hit the same roadblocks you have. Healing the arm naturally is a lost cause and her pale skin seems to be permanent. On the positive side, he agrees that there's no reason to believe she'll relapse as far as the brain scans go. As for the powers, whatever made her switch seems to have stuck for the most part. She's not quite as strong as before but the yellow sun still has quite the effect on her," he said. Lena had looked over all her results again and again. Sam's biology was mostly Kryptonian but compared to the scans Superman volunteered for and a few wayward files Lex had left around, there were abnormalities and bizarre differences she failed to get her head around.
"If he had any additional findings I'd love to see them. The more data I have, the higher chance I can understand exactly what I'm dealing with. It might even give us clues on how to find the other World Killers," she said.
"I'll try, but he can be difficult when it comes to sharing," he said. Lena nodded.
"Well what's the plan now? I can't do much here," she said.
"Like I said, I think she needs a bit more encouragement. I've said my piece, but I think it's you that will give her the push she needs," he said.
"I'll try, do you know where she'll be?" She said.
"She tends not to stray too far from her own space, I'll keep an ear out and intervene if it seems like you need it," he said. She thanked him and moved off. As she went, he caught up with her.
"Remember, you don't have to do this if you don't want too," he said, genuine concern in his face.
"I'll be okay," she said.
She remembered the way but moved slowly. Not only did she have her own anxieties to contend with, but the most empathetic man in the world could not get through to Sam. She trusted his judgement but wandering how much of a difference she could make as she delved deeper into the cavern. Sam's area was through a crevice off to the side. The ceiling was low and the narrow walls felt close. The periodic fog of her breath pressed against the ceiling and she lost her footing a few times on the slippery floor. This passage felt like the only part of the fortress that was not grandiose, instead being an extension hastily carved out. It was surprising how dark it was getting as she descended, the bright lights of the cavern and the glow of the sun chamber were usually in sight by now. She finally made it through that endless walk into the large, open cavern. The only light source in the room was the flickering of a tv screen. She spotted the sun chamber lying dormant, the tube would fill room with warm yellow light when it was on. Superman would not tell her much about its origin, but it functioned as rapid healing for Kryptonians. He had used it to save Sam from Kara's onslaught. Prolonged exposure to it had healed her nicely, as well as turned her hair red for some reason. The hair colour change was just biological another mystery Lena had not solved yet.
The furniture and other luxuries Lena had installed here were in their usual places. It gave Sam something to do in her down time, she even ensured there were two beds in case Ruby ever ended up visiting her here. As it stood, Clark had somehow managed to keep his identity a secret from her. Though the connection seemed obvious, she was reminded that maybe spotting such things was harder than she thought as her eyes were drawn to the flickering screen. Kara was out in force as Supergirl, the volume was too low to make out much detail, but the gist was some damage control of a natural crisis in Brazil. Sam was standing, watching it intently. Lena cleared her throat, causing Sam to snap round.
"Lena, I didn't hear you come in," she said, scrambling for a remote. She switched off the TV and the lights brightened. Sam smiled nervously. Even with one arm, ghost-white skin and red hair. The woman she had briefly known before the change was recognisable. Lena blinked a few times, her eyes adjusting to the new light level. She focused on the image of Sam that was the kind, dedicated person in an attempt to cast out the memory of Reign.
"So… here we are," she said.
"Yeah…" Sam said.
"I gather you didn't want to come out today," she said.
Sam made a non-committal noise. The two of them stood at a distance, Lena wanted to get closer, but that lingering memory gave her pause.
"Why now, all this time spent recovering only to stop when you reach the end?" she said. Sam sighed and looked at the floor. The silence between them hung in the air.
"I'm worried about going back," Sam said. It was strange, apart from the initial shock, Sam had been surprisingly calm about her circumstances.
"I know it must seem more real than ever, but you'll adjust," she said.
"Maybe," Sam said, looking back at the now blank screen. Lara looked down and shuffled her feet slightly. It was obvious that whatever was making her hold back was not just a matter of simple nerves. She could guess where the source of her worry lay.
"Ruby misses you," she said.
"I miss her…" Sam said.
"You'll get to live with her again, it'll be just like before," she said. Sam cocked her head.
"Is Ruby happy with what she has?" Sam said.
"She wants you back in her life," she said, cautious of Sam's change in tone.
"That's not what I asked," Sam said.
"As happy as she can be, I guess," she said, unsure of what point Sam was after.
"Shouldn't I let her have that a bit longer? A normal life with normal guardians?" Sam said. Lena closed her eyes, with trembling hands and a deep breath she stepped towards her.
"Why all this sudden doubt?" She said. Sam looked to where her arm once was.
"I guess I didn't think I'd be going back so soon. The arm, the skin, any other changes… I can take it. But Ruby..."
"She's seen you like this already and it doesn't bother her at all," Lena said.
"Isolated spaces are one thing, and you, Superman, Clark and Lois have been so understanding. But it's everyone else. Ruby will go to school as the kid with the freakish Mum. The woman who terrorized the city, back with a vengeance and a robot arm to boot. What can I do about that? Reassure everyone on the school-run that I have no intention of murdering them? People cowering in fear on a day to day basis? Regular shopping trips turning into drama because Mum draws so much attention. I can't do that to her," Sam said.
"If it helps, during your only major public appearance as Reign you still looked like your old self," Lena said. Her eyes widened, immediately regretting how tactlessly she had worded it. Sam laughed slightly.
"Don't worry, I know you're trying to help," Sam said. "I just want to do what's best for her." Lena took another deep breath, staring at the hand that had been wrapped around her neck that night. She started to feel an itch in her neck but knew she had to soldier through.
"You know how I told you Ruby came to visit me when you first disappeared?" she said.
"You mentioned," Sam said.
"Did I ever tell you what happened after?" she said.
"Not really," Sam said.
"She asked to be taken to school. Of all the requests to make with everything that was going on," she said, gaining better control of her breathing and once again stepping towards Sam. "She did it because that's what she thought you would want. Everything else was arbitrary for her. The simple fact of the matter is she loves you and wants you to be her Mum again," she said. Sam fell silent, Lena flinched when she started moving towards a nearby chair. She could not help it but even so, regretted the impact it had on Sam's mood. Sam pulled it up and rubbed her forehead.
"Even if you don't mean to be, you're still scared of what I might do," Sam said.
"I saw Reign at her worst, but that wasn't you," Lena said.
"And what if she comes back? What if I'm with Ruby and I switch," she said.
"It won't happen, we've taken every precaution…" Lena said.
"We're talking about my daughter here, Lena," she said. Lena wanted to freeze or reel away at the outburst. Instead she closed her eyes, the words "you can breathe" cycled through her head.
"That day, when I faced Reign. I was able to make her stop, if only for a moment. A mere mortal like myself was able to stop a World Killer in her tracks with one word. "Ruby."" Lena's heart was racing and her whole body felt like it was shaking. She recomposed herself, pushing through the memory for the sake of Sam and Ruby. "Your connection to her was so strong that it cut through all the madness and pain. I say with no doubt in my mind that all the worries you have will pale in comparison to being with Ruby again." Sam dropped her hand and looked passed her. Staring off at nothing in particular.
"I need some time," Sam said.
"I can wait, but I don't think Ruby wants to, and deep down neither do you," she said. Sam sat there in thought, it seemed like her words had got through to her.
"When you're ready, I'll be there," Lena said, turning to leave. She heard the words "thank you" come from Sam as she left, she turned back with a slight nod, but she wanted to get out. She told herself more words might cast doubt, but really she just wanted to keep a semblance of control.
When she reached the end of the crevice and was surrounded once more by the shining walls of the Fortress, she bent down hands on her thighs and exhaled loudly. Superman was there waiting for her.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that, but she needed to hear that from you," he said.
"It was my choice, no need to be sorry," she said. It was still difficult for her logical mind to deal with such irrational fear. She wished it was just a matter of getting over it and moving on, but she knew it was not that simple. It felt like knowing the science behind her fear and that the danger Reign posed was long gone should serve as some sort of salve, it never was.
"For what it's worth, if you ever doubt yourself, remember these moments. You push through everything for the good of others. It's how I know Kara's in safe hands," he said. Superman's intentions were always so pure and despite how it could be uplifting, part of her longed for a bit of levity. Lena steadied herself, her breathing returned to normal and her body was still. Despite its glory, being inside the fortress instilled that effect of creeping darkness that Reign had on her. Though for this moment, it seemed to have brightened, if only a little.