HAHAHAHA….FML
"speaking"
'thinking'
[system text]
"skill activation"
"angry/emotionally charged"
prologue
CH1: FML
'Fuck…Fuck….FUCK!' He screamed internally as he ran towards his school-bus.
"Hey! Wait!" He screamed to the bus. The plastic doors give off a hissing noise before closing. Nobody hearing his plea. The yellow bus speeding off towards it's next destination.
"Fuck" he panted. Exhausted from a mere 100m sprint. Today had been an uncharacteristically bad day, from waking up late to putting his shoes on the wrong feet.
"This is just shitty" he groaned "This day will not get any worse than this". Then he got hit by a truck. In his last moments his mind was surprisingly clear. 'Well this cliche as fuck'. Sadly at that point the adrenaline wore off and the pain hit him both figuratively and literally a truck. His last words
"FUCK MY LIFE"
After who knows how long he woke up, opening his eyes once again. A white expanse appeared before his eyes.
"This really is cliche" He muttered before continuing "so am I going to be reincarnated?"
Suddenly out of literally nowhere a person popped into existence.
"I see you have arrived" the man said "As you can assume, this is the usual cliche bullshit but with a fun twist" a feeling of dread set down upon his chest
The god continued "you are not here due to summoning or because of some other bullshit reason, you are here because I and some other god are bored"
"so let me get this straight" He continued "you want me, to act as entertainment for you and the gods"
"yep"
"Do I at least get a special power?"
"Correct"
"but I become a plaything while this is happening"
"Also correct"
"do I even have a choice"
"nope, it's this or complete annihilation"
"Fuck it.." He groaned "can I at least choose my power?"
"Hmmm…. Seems fair, what do you want"
"you're a god correct"
"yeah"
"good, so you know of the Gamer, right"
"so basically you want the gamer system"
"yeah"
"sure, but there will be no party systems and your luck stat will be shit, unable to be improved with points"
"why?"
"Because fuck you that's why"
"….. I walked into that didn't I"
"yep"
"Also, who are you? I assume that you know who I am, but who are you?"
"Ah, how rude of me, I am Fukhue, the god of cursing and in general fuckery"
"Well, thank you… I guess?"
"You are welcome"
"Alright then send me off"
" good luck"
He wrapped up his conversation with the sadistic god. The god was….short and angry. Apparently height is a touchy subject. However, before anymore thought occurred….the world was fading into darkness around him.
And then he woke up
"HOLY FUCK" He screeched. My arms flailed around me and he panicked. Then He fell off the bed.
[-1]
'Deep breaths, deeeep breaaths.' "well at least that is working"
"Hmm…lets try [status]"
[Status]
[Name: undecided]
[Race: Human]
[Gender: Male]
[Job:None]
[Class: undecided]
[Title: FML (Fuck My Life)]
[Level: 0]
[Experience: 0/100]
[Health: 20/20]
[MP: 50/50]
[Stats]
[Str.: 1]
[Dex.: 1]
[Vit.: 2]
[Int.: 5]
[Wis.: 1]
[Cha.: 1]
[Luck.: -10]
[Points:10]
[Skills]
[Gamer's mind]
[Gamer's body]
[Tutorial: would you like to accept? Y/N]
He quickly pressed Y. 'I have no fucking idea where I am, I am weak as shit, I hope the tutorial gives me something'
[Thank you for accepting the tutorial please say menu]
"[menu]"
[Menu]
[Status]
[Inventory]
[Quests]
[Options]
"okay… Continue?"
[As you had requested for this power it is assumed that you understand the basics of this power, as such please say skip if you understand the basics about Stats, Inventory, Quests, and Options]
"skip"
[The combat tutorial will start in 3]
"sorry what!"
[2]
"Fuck"
[1]
[Begin]
Suddenly, reality seemed to ripple around me and was replaced with an open grass field and an open blue sky.
"well isn't this the unique ID" he muttered sarcastically
He began to look around me to see if he could find his opponent. At first he saw nothing, then he looked over his shoulder and He got punched
[-5]
"the Fuck, how is this a combat tutorial!"
He focused on my enemy at hand, which was apparently a hand, a fucking HAND
[skill Observe gained]
'Whoop de fucking da' He thought, putting some distance between him and the hand.
"Observe"
[Hand]
[HP: 5/5]
[MP: 0/0]
"Well at least I have a chance," he muttered before the hand launched itself at his face.
"Oh Fu.."
The hand latched onto his face and he fell. It was clawing at his face
[-1]
[-1]
[-1]
Unable to get it off his face he bit the hand. The taste of blood filled his mouth.
[-2]
he vomited almost immediately dislodging the hand from his face. Scrambling to his feet, still trying not to retch.
"Bring it on mother fucker" he roared, charging at the hand before stomping on it
[-3]
"Finally," he said, collapsing. Fighting the had was stupid, combat tutorials were stupid an apparently exhausting.
[combat tutorial complete]
[50 exp. Gained]
[Normal tutorial complete, please select your reward]
[15 points]
[Random skill]
[Race Change]
[or]
[Beginner title]
'shoot, which one should I go for' he thought.. "Fuck, I almost forgot… system, set name as %#&$#"
[Name not valid]
"the fuck!" he ranted. "Why can't I use my previous name?... damnit...gimme a second" he mummers
"system, set name as Eros Ragnis"
[name accepted, name is now Eros Ragnis]
"screw my naming sense, but meh, I like it" Eros mumbled.
"onto the reward" he continued. And then he started unable to make a decision.
"FUCK, come on brain work your magic" Eros screamed grabbing his hair in frustration.
[Skill Cussing obtained]
"Not helping" He sighed.
"Fuck it, system select 15 points, that shit will be useful"
[wisdom increases by 1 because of planning for the future]
[you have been awarded 15 points]
[this ends the tutorial]
[50 exp. Gained]
[Level up]
"yay lucky me, [status]" Eros complained
[Status]
[Name: Eros Ragnis]
[Race: Human]
[Class: Gamer]
[Title: FML]
[Level: 1]
[experience: 0/150]
[Health: 20/20]
[MP: 50/50]
[Stats]
[Str.: 1]
[Dex.: 1]
[Vit.: 2]
[Int.: 5]
[Wis.: 2]
[Cha.: 1]
[Luck.: -10]
[Points: 30]
[Skills]
[Gamer's mind]
[Gamer's body]
[Observe: Lv 1]
[Cussing: Lv 1]
"Well, that's nice" Eros muttered to himself, suddenly the world rippled around him returning him to the bedroom. Eros stood up shakily and looked around, It was a simple room, a bed, a closet, a window, a person staring at him through the window….
[Skill gained sense danger]
"Fuck" Eros cursed throwing himself at the door, with a cackling laugh behind him
"come here my little prey" the person speaks in a sing-song type of voice.
[Quest: Escape]
[you are being attacked by who knows what, escape and live through the night]
[rewards]
[survival]
[random skill book]
[150 exp]
[Failure]
[Death]
not even paying attention to the quest pop up, Eros bolts through the conveniently open door and into a living room, possibly his not that he cares at the moment, before diving over the couch. Suddenly a red crystal shoots through the door, impaling the couch in front of him.
"of course it is Tokyo ghoul, Fuck" Eros complained, managing not have a mental breakdown due to [gamer's mind].
[Cussing leveled up by 1]
Bounding up to his feet, Eros lunges for an exit to the outside, fumbling through the door, Eros runs into a balcony. Looking down Eros realizes he is on the second floor.
"I can smeeellllll you" the Ghoul says as another shard bursts through the door almost hitting Eros.
"Fuck this shit" Eros mutters before jumping over the railing and falling
[-15]
[Due to surviving critical amounts of damage Vit. Increased by one]
[Due to quick decision making that saved your life Wis. Increased by one]
"thank god for [gamer's body]" Eros stated before getting up at running a boom was heard behind him as he assumed the ghoul slammed through his door.
"your not getting away" the ghoul continued "I've waited a long time for a hunt"
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck , FUCK!" Eros screams running full tilt to escape the ghoul
[Cussing has leveled up by five]
[sense danger has leveled up by one]
"where the fuck is everybody?" he continued. Running down the abandoned streets devoid of people. Despite all the commotion Eros did not see any lights turn on.
Turning down an alleyway, Eros begins to formulate how to live.
[-10]
Eros screamed, a shard had scraped his leg. "OH FUCK!"
Eros whipped around the corner and into the street
'Fuck, why didn't I think of store alarms' Eros thought.
[Due to remembering important facts your Intelligence has increased by one]
Charging towards the nearest store, which happens to be a café, Eros slams his body through the nearest window setting off the alarm
[-3]
[status effect: bleeding]
"ARRGHH" the ghoul screamed frustrated that unwanted attention would arrive soon. They would have to find a different prey tonight.
Dashing off into the night the ghoul left its prey.
"HAHAHA Fuck you too" Eros wheezed one last time before the world fades to black.
P.O.V: Unknown
Of all the things I expected tonight was someone throwing themselves through the window, especially a human escaping a fellow ghoul. I quickly made my way downstairs after getting dressed, I am sure the Cops will want to ask some questions. When I arrive down stairs I see the stranger's body. "huh, still alive" I say. "Let's see what I can do'' walking behind the counter to grab the first aid kit. I manage to bandage a couple of the more serious wounds after disinfecting them. The cops arrive with an ambulance not too long after, and load it with the person. I was asked some questions about what happened, and I answered with what I knew, mostly just how the alarm went off and I saw the person on the ground. The police left afterwards and I was left to clean up the shop. Dammit this is going to be a long mourning.
P.O.V: third person
Eros woke up quietly this time. The hospital bed was soft beneath him. "huh, I'm alive, that's nice" he spoke. Suddenly a bunch of notifications spammed.
[due to surviving on 1 HP for over 8 hours your Vitality increases by five]
[the skill Running has been acquired]
[Due to 8 hours of sleep your HP and MP have restored to full]
[Quest: Escape completed]
[Recived]
[Gardening skill book]
[150 exp]
[Level up]
[would you like to retrive the skill book now Y/N]
"Gardening…really…. Sigh, might as well learn it"
[Do you wish to learn the skill Gardening, Y/N]
He quickly pressed Y
[Skill Gardening learned]
'so I am in tokyo ghoul… the shards kinda reminded me of touka's kagune…fuck… did the story not start yet… shit I don't know, who even got me here?' Eros wondered. "I can't fall asleep normally here can I… might as well try to meditate, that is always something useful in gamer fics" closing his eyes Eros tried to clear his mind, which he was unable to do, Eros tried to meditate for at least an hour before someone checked in on him.
"Oh, you are awake now, there have been some CCG investigators waiting to ask you some questions, I will let them in now" the nurse said. She came back shortly with 2 officers behind her.
"Hello, we are from the CCG, would you mind recounting what happened last night, I am sure an exploding apartment and crashing through a window before being knocked unconscious happens naturally." The first man said. He seemed old, and his face worn out. Thinking about it Eros wondered what did he even look like?
"well," Eros began "It started with me waking up from a nightmare where I was attacked by a hand, I woke up… uhhh… I looked around and saw a person staring at me through the window… they said something, I screamed and ran out of the room and dove over the couch, a red shard then pierced my couch almost hitting me, so I ran through my front door, almost getting speared, jumped off the railing, somehow didn't break anything, and started running. I eventually thought, Oh! Shop alarms will attract the cops or at least somebody, so I found the nearest shop and dove through the window. That was the last thing I remembered"
"Thank you for telling us this, you were very lucky, you lost a good amount of blood. If there is anything else please contact us directly" the man said handing me his business card before leaving with his partner.
As soon as the inspectors left Eros muttered [status]
[Status]
[Name: Eros Ragnis]
[Race: Human]
[Class: Gamer]
[Title: FML]
[Level: 2]
[experience: 0/200]
[Health: 80/80]
[MP: 60/60]
[Stats]
[Str.: 1]
[Dex.: 1]
[Vit.: 8]
[Int.:6]
[Wis.:3]
[Cha.: 1]
[Luck.: 1]
[Points: 35]
[Skills]
[Gamer's mind]
[Gamer's body]
[Observe: Lv 1]
[Cussing: Lv7]
[Sense danger: Lv2]
[Running: Lv 1]
[Gardening: Lv 1]
"I am definitely going to a gym after this" Eros wondered out loud looking at his stats. "Nurse, would you mind helping me check out?"
The door opens again not long after the words left my mouth as the nurse enters.
"Are you sure you want to leave this early?" The nurse asks
"Yeah, thank you for all your help" Eros replies
"Alright the. Let's get you checked out" she said
The process of checking out did not take to long and he managed to learn some stuff about his body. ' huh, I am from America, now living in Tokyo, Japan. Apparently that was why they didn't immediately deport me, I really need to look into a mirror too' he thought. It was surprising that he was able to check out that easily. He started waking back to his apartment when he realized that his apartment was destroyed, that and he has no idea where he is.
"Shit!" Eros complained "wait...I wonder if I have any money in my inventory ... [inventory]"
[Inventory]
[Beginner gift pack]
[27715 yen]
"There was a beginner gift pack!" Eros mumbled
"System open beginner gift pack"
[opening beginner gift pack]
[rewards]
[iron katana]
[reinforced hoodie]
[minor health potion]
"Yay stuff to protect me from being murderfied" Eros comments sarcastically. "I wonder if have any quests I can accept? [quests]"
[Quests]
[Quest: NEET no more]
[suprise, you are jobless. Change your life and get a job!]
[Rewards]
[200 exp]
[Stable income]
[Failure]
[no income]
[Accept: Y/N]
[Quest: A place to rest my head]
[After the ghoul destroyed your home, you are now homeless. Try to find somewhere that is renting rooms for you to use]
[Rewards]
[a place to stay]
[200 exp]
[Failure]
[Increase chances of being eaten]
[homeless]
[Accept: Y/N]
"Let's do this" Eros said in mock excitement before pressing Y for both. " I think finding a room is more important at the moment"
[due to basic logic Intelligence has increased by one]
"Why thank you captain obvious" Eros replied to the notification.
"Let's see if can find a home"
…