The mountains loom above them in the light of early morning, flamingo pink and bright clementine splashing onto snow capped peaks that reach up to the heavens. The sky is clear, an easy path for the sun to dance across the landscape in a graceful arc, and a gentle, chilly breeze winds its way through the coniferous trees that surround their camp. Katara sleeps soundly in their tent; she had woken in a panic last night due to a nightmare, and Zuko knows that she needs all the rest she can get. His sister, however, is up just as early as he is. They had been trained to be morning people through years of being forced to wake and dress to avoid their father's wrath, and it's a habit that Zuko thinks he'll never be able to break. Azula cups her mug in one hand as the steam rises to kiss her face, and holds her beloved book in the other. He watches her eyes trail along the page of the well worn paperback; she's been carrying around a copy of Love Amongst the Dragons for so long that he can't even remember when she first picked it up. She's loved at least two previous copies until the point that they'd practically disintegrated, and he's not surprised to see her current edition permanently cracked at the spine and yellowed from overuse.
"How bad was it after I left?"
Azula sips her tea before answering. "You know Zuzu, you should really be more precise with your words." She doesn't look up from her book, but he knows that her eyes have stopped scanning the page. "Saying that you left implies a desire to leave."
"You know what I mean, Zuli." He knows that she isn't very fond of the nickname, but it has the desired effect. She snaps her book shut and looks him in the eye, and he swears that he can see a weariness hiding in the amber of her irises that hadn't been there before he left Ember.
"It was…" She looks off towards the tent that Katara still sleeps in, and then down at the dredges of their campfire. "It was as you'd expect it to be."
"He got worse, didn't he?" His voice is stone on stone, thick with emotion; tears claw at the back of his eyes, fueled by guilt so strong he feels sick to his stomach.
"If it makes you feel any better..." She takes a deep breath and turns back to look at him. "He had me working away from home for the last year, so I really didn't see much of him." Her non-answer is an answer in itself, one that cuts him straight to the bone.
"I'm so sorry, Azula." His voice cracks on her name. "I wish I never had to leave you there with him. I'm sorry." He doesn't care what his sister thinks when the tears break free from his eyes and tumble down his cheeks. They trail down his face and drip off of his chin, falling into his lap as he drops his head. Azula's never been very emotional— at least, she's never shown her emotions like he does. No matter how much their father had tried to teach Zuko to hold his emotions in, no matter how many beatings he got and how many could have been avoided if he had just kept quiet, he can never manage to stifle how he feels for very long.
Which is why he's surprised when he feels Azula's hand come to rest on his shoulder. Her gaze is focused on her lap as well, and he can see that she's biting her lip— a tell for when she's feeling overwhelmed or fragile. The ground beneath him crunches as he pulls her into his arms. Their childhood and adolescence had been riddled with these kinds of embraces; the ones that left no traces of tears save for the wet spots on each other's shoulders. She feels so small in his arms, and he has to fight to stay in the moment and not get caught up in toxic memories. Azula's grip is tight in his shirt as she shakes in his arms, but it doesn't last long. Just a few minutes, never any more— they learned long ago that it's not safe to be vulnerable.
"Well." Azula clears her throat and wipes her damp cheeks dry. "That's enough of that." A shuffling noise comes from inside the tent signaling Katara's awakening, and Azula rises to her feet. "I think I'll take a short walk. Don't get up to anything while I'm gone. We have to leave soon if we want to make it to the Pass today." Zuko's cheeks redden at his sister's insinuation, but she doesn't linger long enough to see it.
A long sigh escapes through his lips as he watches Azula walk away. The guilt that plagues him will never go away; it's a virus in his blood, and it's eaten away too much of him for the damage to ever be completely repaired. But he thinks that maybe with Katara and his sister safe by his side, he can begin to heal.
Xx
"Wow." Katara marvels at the massive protrusions that make up the mountains before them. If they had seemed large before, they're simply gargantuan now that they're looking with an unobstructed view. "These are way bigger than the mountains around Yangchen."
"No wonder nobody comes out this way," he mutters, also entranced by the sparkling snowy peaks that taper off into lush green forests.
"I think I see your friends." Azula points to a cluster of shapes at the base of where the mountain has been split in two— the thin seam looks miniscule from this distance. I wonder how tight it actually is.
Katara's pace picks up until she's essentially power walking, and he and Azula give up on keeping up with her when she breaks into an all out sprint once they get close enough. Zuko hears her call Sokka's name, and watches as she drops her pack to the ground unceremoniously and throws herself into her brother's arms. It's a much more emotional reunion than his and Azula's, but he doesn't think about it too much. As much as he and Katara, and even he and Sokka, are similar, he'll never be able to change his upbringing. Azula fidgets beside him, and when he turns he catches her drag her lip through her teeth before composing herself. He had told her that Mai would be with the group, but he knows that it's not the only reason why she's nervous. They'd be extremely sheltered growing up, and Azula has always had a hard time with the nuances of social interaction more than he has. Peers make her nervous. An army or a servant is different— she can exert control over them, their actions are predictable and choreographed. But people she doesn't know? Not so much.
"Remember when you pushed Mai and I into the fountain back home?" He nudges Azula with his elbow and sees a smile tug at the corner of her mouth. He's learned that distraction is the best way to bring his sister out of the confines of her anxiety, and her responding scoff is a sign that at least that hasn't changed, despite all the things that have.
"Yes, and I remember that you cried because you got your favorite shirt wet."
"Hey!" He laughs, and the smile on her face grows just a bit more. "I did not cry. I was just frustrated, that's all."
"Sure, Zuzu." She rolls her eyes and smirks. He's sure that she doesn't believe him, but he doesn't really care as long as she's smiling.
"Zuko!" As soon as they get close enough, Aang shouts his name with more enthusiasm than Zuko's ever had, and comes barreling into him almost exactly like Katara had with Sokka. "We were so worried that you guys wouldn't make it!" There's a considerable amount of emotion in Aang's voice, and when Toph appears and joins the group hug, Zuko is viscerally reminded of how close he's gotten to the two of them, and how much he's missed them. He fights back the tears, but just barely.
"What took you guys so long!" Toph tries to cover up her relief with frustration, but she doesn't hide it very well. Emotion bubbles up and escapes from him as laughter, and the other two join in until they're a semi-hysterical mess of arms and smiles.
"Guys," he peels away from his friends and gestures to Azula, who had backed away from the emotional display and wears a carefully neutral expression, "this is my sister Azula."
"I can see the resemblance!" Aang, chipper as always, walks over and sticks his hand out for Azula to shake. "I'm Aang!"
"Nice to meet you." She shakes his hand and keeps her face controlled, but he can see her trying not to stare at Aang's eyes.
"And this is Toph." The girl doesn't move towards Azula at his introduction, instead opting for an upward tilt of her chin as a greeting.
"'Sup."
"Hello."
Katara approaches them with Sokka's hand in her own, and Zuko's heart flutters in his chest when he sees the bright smile on her face. Suki, Ty Lee, and Mai follow close behind.
"Oh, did you and Sugar Queen finally fuck?" Zuko chokes on nothing at Toph's words, and he catches Azula smirking while he tries to catch his breath. "Good for you, buddy. If you had come back still dumb as doornails I was ready to trap you both in a rock box and wait for nature to take its course." She gives him an affectionate punch on the arm that has him stumbling due to his earlier shock.
"I like her, too," Azula says, and Zuko scowls when Toph bursts into raucous laughter.
Katara introduces Azula to her brother and Suki, Ty Lee introduces herself, and an awkward silence falls between Mai and Azula.
"Hello Mai." His sister's voice is clipped, and Zuko sees her chest rise and fall with a measured breath as her lip twitches. What happened between them?
"Hey." Mai responds in her signature monotone, but crosses her arms and lets her eyes slide away from Azula's quickly.
"Right." Sokka's eyes dart between the two women. "Anyway, we should get going. Hopefully we can make it to the river by nightfall so that we have a fresh start tomorrow. It'll take two days to cross the river itself, but after that…"
"After that we can start looking for the actual location of The Source." Suki picks up where Sokka left off. "It could be anywhere beyond the Pass, so we'll have to figure out some way to find it."
"Let's cross that bridge when we get to it." Toph chuckles and elbows Zuko. "See what I did there?" He rolls his eyes and elects to ignore Toph's awful joke.
"You guys will have to tell us all about your trip!" Ty Lee exclaims, practically bouncing on her feet, and to Zuko's surprise, she links her arm through Aang's. "We already talked about ours, but we'll go over it all again so that you're not left out." She smiles sweetly, but Zuko's eyes drift away from her and over to Katara's stony expression.
"Right, okay." Sokka tilts his head over towards where their camp is. "Let's eat! I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving!"
"You're always starving." Suki takes Sokka's hand and leads him towards the camp, the rest of the group following suit, but Zuko reaches for Katara's hand and holds her back.
"Are you okay?" He squeezes her hand, and her grip tightens around his like a vice.
"Yeah," she exhales the word before meeting his eyes with a strained smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"We won't talk about it until you're ready," he reassures her, and moves to kiss the crown of her head. She nods against him and takes another deep breath before they catch up with the group.
Xx
The night passes in a relatively calm manner, aside from the embarrassing toast Sokka had made at his and Katara's expense ("to my sister and her new boyfriend— I think I speak for everyone when I say: fucking finally!"), and the morning rises with the sun over the river to the east. The landscape paints a striking picture; the myriad colors of the sunrise bounce and reflect off of the bright blue water, and beyond that is what looks like more forest. The river is massive, and the path they're bound to take is barely wide enough for three people to walk side-by-side. No wonder nobody travels this way. It's like the land itself has made getting close to The Source all but impossible, and he desperately hopes that the place where they'll have to camp is wider than the narrow strip that carves the river in two.
They walk single file into the bowels of the nameless river, one by one in a nervous procession. Most of the walk is silent, aside from the occasional "ooh!" or "ahh!" when bright fish jump out of the water beside them. At one point the path dips down and disappears into the water, so Katara scoots to the front of the line and parts the river around the path so that they can continue. The walkway ends up dipping so low that the river extends above their heads, but they can see where it slants back up to the surface and decide that it's nothing to worry about.
Until a massive shadow swims past all of them at a startling speed.
"What the hell was that?" Sokka's alarm heightens the group's nerves, and they halt in their tracks.
"What the hell was what?" Toph asks with an anxious tone, and the shadow swims by again on the other side of the path.
"That!" Just as Sokka points towards the shadow, it's gone, only to reappear a moment later straight ahead of them. A long, green, scaly body breaks through one side of the wall of water, and disappears into the other in one motion. The thing is huge, and they all get a very good look at its body— it looks to be as thick as Toph is tall.
"Toph!" He turns to where she stands behind him, but she's already in a low stance.
"You don't have to tell me twice!" Her arms come up above her in a lifting motion, and the whole path rises beneath their feet until they're above the water.
"Let's go!" Suki's voice rouses the group into action, and they break into a haphazard run towards what Zuko hopes is an area wide enough for them to take shelter on.
But they aren't nearly fast enough; after just a few tense moments, the massive creature— the fabled serpent, he realises— rises above the water and bares it's huge, sharp teeth right at them.
"Holy shit," he mutters, and Ty Lee's steps falter in front of him.
"What? What is it?!" Toph is unaware of the gargantuan creature, but likely hears it rise out of the water, and definitely hears it barrelling towards them.
"Keep going!" Katara shouts, and before anyone can say otherwise, she's jumped onto the surface of the water and is zipping towards the serpent on a slab of ice.
"Katara!" Sokka reaches out to his sister, but Suki stops him.
"We have to keep going!" She pushes him along, and Toph has to push Zuko along as well.
"We can't let her fight alone!" He acquiesces and breaks into a run, but there's no way that he's leaving Katara here alone.
"I'll help her!" Aang snaps open his glider and leaps into the air, and heads towards the screeching serpent and Katara.
Now it's his turn to push at Ty Lee, whose steps had stalled as soon as Aang took off. "They'll be okay," he tries to reassure her. "They're strong, they'll be fine." He hopes that he sounds less terrified than he feels.
They run as fast as they can, Zuko's lungs screaming and legs searing from the exertion, but the larger area of the path isn't getting closer fast enough. Unless Katara and Aang take care of the serpent, they're doomed. His footfalls are punctuated by wails and roars from the serpent and the sounds of massive amounts of water slamming into its body, but he doesn't dare take the risk of looking over his shoulder. Katara is capable, and Aang is strong. They'll be okay. Ty Lee does look over her shoulder, however, and subsequently trips over a loose rock. Zuko lurches forward to grab her before she falls into the water, and with Suki's help they haul her back onto her feet and keep going.
A deafening roar splits the air, one so intense that they all collectively stop and turn, just in time to see the serpent flail one last time before crashing back into the water. A sigh of relief permeates the entire group, terror dropping into the river along with the slain beast, following its body as it sinks into the depths. Aang gets back to the group first, haggard and red faced from the cold air whipping against him, and promptly falls into Ty Lee's embrace the moment he touches down. Sokka pushes his way past their friends to stand with Zuko to greet Katara, who is gliding towards them on her ice floe. She hops onto the path with shaky legs, and Zuko and Sokka are there to catch her before she can stumble. Their strange three person hug is a little awkward, but Zuko couldn't care less if he tried. Katara lets out heavy breaths between him and Sokka, and grips each of their tunics in a tightly clenched fist.
"Damn." Toph's voice is a little shaky underneath her bravado. "I wish I could have seen that. It sounded awesome!"
"I'll admit, it was impressive," Azula quips from the back of the group. It's incredibly high praise coming from her.
"Let's keep going." Mai's tone is just a little higher than usual, her face just a little more pinched.
Suki nods her agreement and leads the group onward. Their pace is definitely slower due to Katara and Aang's exhaustion, but the large area is close enough that they'll get there before nightfall. Their brief stint of running had put them ahead of schedule, which Zuko is infinitely grateful for. Not for the first time, and definitely not for the last, he's struck with the reality of the incredible power that their gifts have given them. Maybe it really is a blessing.
When they finally reach their soon to be campsite, the sunlight is fading above the mountains behind them as the deep blue of night crawls its way westward. The gods must be smiling upon them, because the area is just big enough for a campfire and the six tents they share between them. Their group has grown so much since just he and Katara set out on their journey ten months ago; what had started as two has become nine. Zuko lets a kernel of hope take root inside of him despite the odds stacked against them. They may be facing an army, but he's never met anyone stronger than the people around him. If anyone has a chance to save The Source, it's them.
Xx
Thankfully the next morning arrives with much less fanfare than the previous day, and the group's worries have faded with the death of the serpent. Zuko finds himself wondering where it had even come from. It must have babies somewhere, right? What if we run into a baby serpent? Does it have a mate? What if that was the baby? He shakes his head against the intrusive thoughts and focuses on his friends as they eat breakfast and pack up their tents. Again it strikes him that these people are the closest he's had to family in years, other than Azula. It feels almost selfish, but he dreads the inevitable completion of their quest; the knowledge that they'll have to split up bitters his tongue, turns his breakfast to flavorless mush in his mouth. What really gets him, though, is the thought of having to leave Katara. He's desperately, completely, maddeningly in love with her, even if he has yet to say it. Maybe she'll let me go back with her. Zuko doesn't have a life outside of this quest, doesn't have anyone other than Azula and his uncle to call family, so once this is all over he really has nowhere to go. He doesn't want to go back to wandering the country, drifting from town to village to city in hopes of finding something to anchor him. He supposes that he could go back to Ember if need be, but he doesn't really want to. No, what he really wants, in the deepest part of his heart, is to build a life with the woman he loves. He thinks of the modest cottage Katara calls her own, thinks of Speckle (he never thought he'd miss a cat so much) and all the other animals on her small farm. Visions of domestic bliss flit around in his mind before he can stop them. He knows that his dreams will only serve to make everything harder once their journey comes to a close, but just for the moment he wants to indulge.
"So, when we get to the other side of the river," Toph's voice breaks the consistent beat of their footsteps as they continue along the path, "how will we find The Source?"
"Well…" Aang rubs the back of his head and looks back at Zuko, glowing grey eyes colored with uncertainty.
"We don't really know," Zuko finishes for him.
"You don't have any idea at all?" Mai's question adds to his growing anxiety. How are we going to find it?
"We'll find it." Katara sounds sure and confident from where she walks in front of Zuko. "I know it."
"You don't really know, though." Zuko shoots a glare at Azula over his shoulder and is met with a shrug. "It's true. We're just going to guess once we get across this river and hope for the best, right?"
"No," Ty Lee interjects. "We won't have to guess."
"Why do you say that?" Suki's voice carries over the line in front of him.
"Because the forest has an aura." Ty Lee points to the trees that line the entire riverside that they head towards. Where one side of the river is blocked by mountains, the other is lined with lush trees, with colors spanning from a deep green to a mauvey purple.
"It has an aura? I thought only people had auras," Toph says.
"I thought so too," Ty Lee responds. "It's faint, but the closer we get, the more I can see it. It's shimmering like ours." She looks back towards Aang, but Zuko knows that she's talking to all of the Othered among the group. "And it's pure silver. It has to be coming from The Source. Once we get into the forest we can just head in the direction that has the strongest aura."
"Well." Sokka sounds as mystified as Zuko feels. "That solves that, I guess."
After walking for a number of hours, the forest looms ahead of them, a vast sea of color only visible now that they've gotten close enough. He's never seen trees like these, some with reflective leaves, some of which are colored with impossible muted yellows and deep blues, all of them insanely tall, lording over the river with unimaginable height. A strange feeling seeps into his chest, a warm sort of tug like someone's pulling an errant thread from his tunic. The air gets warmer too, eventually growing balmy enough that the whole group has taken off their heavier winter layers, but it stays at just the right temperature to not make him sweat.
"Holy shit," Toph mutters behind his back. "It's massive."
"What, the trees?"
"No, the whole forest." Zuko's never heard a greater amount of awe in Toph's voice. "It's huge. It spans as far as I can see."
He isn't sure of the exact range of Toph's "sight," but if the forest is all she can see, he can imagine that it's fairly large. His own awe swells as they come upon the great forest. There's no noise at all coming from within the trees, but it's not an uncomfortable silence. It's almost soothing; he feels like he's been waiting for this silence for all his life. The warmth in his chest grows, and invisible fingers pluck at another broken thread, tethering it to something unseen deep within the trees.
"Can you feel it?" Katara whispers to no one in particular.
"Yeah," Zuko touches his hand to his chest, "I can."
"Me too," Aang agrees, and Ty Lee nods along with wide eyes.
"You think it's The Source?" Toph's voice is uncharacteristically quiet, her words a calm, even cadence.
"It has to be," Sokka answers. "Even I can feel something weird going on. But not a bad weird."
"It's calm," Suki says almost reverently as she steps foot on the riverbank.
As they file onto the sandy shore of the river, a shudder reverberates through Zuko's bones, and he can see it echoed in all of his Othered companions. For a few minutes they just stand there and take the forest in; the tree trunks are wider than Zuko is tall, myriad colors that have no place on a tree staining the bark. They spear up into the sky for what feels like a solid mile with needles and leaves of every color he's ever seen, but even through the dense canopy somehow the sunlight shines through in splotches and splashes of gold. It takes his breath away, snatches it from his lungs like a thief, before replacing it with the freshest air he's ever tasted.
"Well..." Ty Lee's voice is more reserved than usual, but no less genuine. "Let's get going."